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Someone touches my shoulder, and I jolt up so fast I slam my hand on the table. 

"Ow," I mutter, blinking my vision into focus. The lights are so bright, and people are snickering quietly around me. 

"Mr. Beckett, I would appreciate it if you stayed with the class." Mrs. Godfrey raises her eyebrows at me. "I don't want to keep asking this."

"Sorry," I murmur, rubbing my eyes. She makes her way back to the front of the classroom, her shoes clicking on the floor. 

"Now, if we're all together, let's get back to the periodicity identities. Please look at problem number forty-two..."

The loud noise of papers shuffling makes me wince, and I glance at Ethan.

"Dude," he whispers. "That's like, the fourth time this week you've fallen asleep."

"I haven't been sleeping well."

"I mean, I'm all for taking naps in class, but Mrs. Godfrey is gonna kill you."

I blink quickly and try to focus on the whiteboard, small numbers scrawled messily in pale colors. Equations start to swim and I look back at Ethan.

"It's fine," I say. 

His eyes narrow in concern. "Dude, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes!" 

Mrs. Godfrey glares at us and we sit up straighter, staring down at our worksheet. After a moment, Ethan clears his throat and whispers quietly, "Why don't you go to the nurse or something? They let people nap in there."

"I'm fine."

I don't make eye contact with him again until class is over, and he drops it.

~

You think I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Stupid.

That's how I end up doubled over in the boards with the wind knocked out of me.

"Cameron?" Ollie Johnson's voice is scared beside me. "Are you okay? I thought you saw me, I just -"

Matthew skates up. "What happened?"

Ethan shakes his head and storms out of the net. "Cameron Beckett, I swear to fucking god -"

"I'm fine," I say, blinking quickly as my vision blurs. Blue jerseys double themselves then go back to one. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. You guys, it's fine."

Coach's voice echoes from the other side of the rink. "Beckett, you're gonna get yourself killed!"

"I'm sorry!" I say. "I'm sorry, I was just out of it for a second."

"You were sleeping again," says Ethan. "Wake the fuck up, man! We have a game tomorrow, and there are some big guys that will smash into you way harder than that."

"I'll be awake," I mumble, and wince.

"Jesus," mutters Ethan.

I lean against the board and rub my eyes through the facemask of my helmet. "I'm awake, I'm awake."

"Do you need to see the trainer?" asks Matthew. Ethan nods beside him.

"No."

Ethan waves a gloved hand in front of my face. "Dude, are you gonna pass out?"

"Ethan, stop!"

"Beckett," says Matthew through gritted teeth. "We have a big game tomorrow. We'd rather you go to the trainers now than in the middle of the game."

I close my eyes. "Fine."

"Thank you!" says Ethan dramatically. 

The entire team watches me skate off the ice. Coach sighs sharply as I walk past him.

Down the hallway, I lean against the doorway to Mitch's office. "Hi, Mitch."

Mitch is the second trainer, a younger guy, and everyone likes him way better than the other one. He glances over his shoulder and smiles at me. "Cameron! What's up?"

"Um, my team made me come here."

"Any injuries? The ankle still hurting?"

"No."

He waits for me to keep talking. On his desk, there are pictures of a baby girl.

"Um, I kinda dozed off on the ice, and everyone freaked out. Not that - I mean, it wasn't that big of a deal, I've just been tired lately."

"Have you been sleeping consistently?"

"Um, no."

"Any specific reason?"

I glance up towards the ceiling like I'm thinking about it and shake my head. "No."

"Cameron..." Mitch sighs. "I'm not a doctor, obviously, so I can't prescribe anything. But I can't pretend not to know what's been going on with you."

"Nothing has been..." I lean against the wall as they feel like they're closing. I hate how everyone knows everything. Everyone assumes things, too. "Like..."

"Cameron, you may be feeling anxiety. Have you ever had anxiety before?"

Again, look to the ceiling, pretend to think. "No."

"Alright. Well, if you need to nap here for now, you can."

"I'd rather go back to practice."

Mitch chews his lip and runs a hand over his stubbled chin. "I'll call your mom later, okay?"

"No! I mean, no. She's already worried about me. I'm so tired, I know I'll sleep tonight."

"Cameron."

"Mitch," I say, mimicking his worried adult voice. "I'll come back later if I'm still feeling weird, okay?"

Mitch chews on his lip for another moment, then sighs. "Alright."

"Alright. See ya."

I take a breath as I head back to the ice. The rest of practice goes fine. See? Everything is fine.

~

"Hey." Sam's voice is sleepy.

I press the phone against my ear as I try to get comfortable on the pillows. "Hey."

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. You?"

"Studying. I have a lot of organic Chemistry work to make up for being sick."

"Nerd."

I can't see him, but I know he's smiling. I glance up at the Maple Leafs poster on my ceiling, which is doused in darkness and pale moonlight. 

"Anyway," I say. "I was just... calling."

"Just to say hi?"

"Yeah, just to say hi."

"Can you not sleep?"

I shrug, then remember he can't see me. "Uh, no."

He sighs, and it crackles through the phone speaker. "Me neither. I've been having the same dream over and over."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

There's a pause. "Not really."

"That's okay."

The guy who's scared to sleep and the guy who can't sleep at all. Oh, Jesus.

"Anyway," I say again, and clear my throat. "Um... if you're interested, you want to tell me about periodicity identities?"

"Are you trying to seduce me with math equations?"

"Shut up," I say, my face flaming. I'm smiling, though.

"Just kidding. Sure. You use periodicity identities to illustrate the shifting of a graph. Or you can use them to simplify expressions, I guess it depends. Because adding or subtracting radians gives you a new angle, but in the same position, you have to..."

I let my eyes shut, Sam's voice in my ear. I think I end up falling asleep. See? Everything is fine. 


A/N 3 updates in one day? I'm just too good ;) thoughts on this chapter?

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