[20] Humongous

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NOAH

"What do you want?" I could tell that Mackenzie was not in a good mood, but when was she at this point? I couldn't help feeling annoyed that I'd chosen this moment to do this though.

"I just... can you come over?" It had to be in person, didn't it? I'm not that heartless.
"Sure but it better be worth my time!" She practically spat into her phone – I could hear it – and I looked down at the covers on my bed, attempting not to go mental there and then. "I'll be there at seven – honestly I don't know why I'm doing this." Or maybe this would be easy.

I knew that I had to do it today – it wasn't negotiable. I'd already told Via that we'd broken up when in reality all I'd done is think about it. The thing with breaking up with Mackenzie was that it was just so much effort. It was like the time when I'd left all of my old textbooks from last year in my locker even though they stared me in the face every time I'd opened it; I was always doing something immediately after or just couldn't be bothered to take them all home. I knew that the breakup would effectively be painless in the respect that I didn't like her in any way, but at the same time it was Mackenzie we were talking about, she was sure to start some sort of drama about it. With the football competition looming, the last thing I needed in my life was drama.

But then Via. I wasn't expecting to kiss her at all really. It was indisputable that I knew I liked her like that ever since I started hanging out with her – when I got to understand what an amazing person she was and how it was so refreshing to talk to someone who wasn't one of the boys or Mackenzie. She was still avoiding my questions, but the more time went on, the more I realised that perhaps it wouldn't be so damaging on me than on her. I'd already seen the reaction she had when she finally told me about Harrison, I didn't want to cause her any more unnecessary pain that could easily be avoided. I had every faith that she would tell me eventually, and that was all I needed.

Kissing her was the opposite of Mackenzie, even before the summer. It was never even declared love – we never said it to each other anyway – but it was only in that moment that I realised how stupid it really was. What was the point in being in a relationship with someone who you didn't remotely like? What me and Mackenzie had wasn't even a relationship.

"Your mum let me in." She dropped her pink handbag on the floor after stepping in, making me jump. I hadn't realised I'd been daydreaming. "What do you want to tell me then?"

She stood there with her hands on her hips and the more she did it, the more I hated her. We were never meant to be anything closer than strangers.

"I don't like you." It was better to build this up, I guessed, to reach the climax of this conversation together and then it wouldn't be so bad; she could just tell her posse that it was her that broke up with me not the other way around.

"Excuse me?" she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder "What did you just say to me?"

"I just said that I don't like you" I said it casually; I'd accepted the fact weeks ago.

"Do you know who you're talking to right now?" She scowled at me "I'm the best that you'll ever get." I rolled my eyes at her blatant narcissism

"Well if you're the best I'm going to get then that seems like a pretty shit deal to me."
"Tell me why then!" Her self-absorption was flailing now "Why am I such a bad girlfriend?"
"I wouldn't even call it a girlfriend!" She gave me another glare "Mackenzie, I'll tell you the truth, I liked you before, I really did. Back when you were still you and you cared about things that actually matter. But you're not that person anymore and I don't know why but I don't care. All you give a shit about is yourself and I'm sick of all of it. You're nasty to just about everyone you know, you've fallen out with your best friend over a stupid reason and frankly I'm surprised we haven't fallen out by now either."

She recoiled "And you think I like you?" She asked, her face bright red "You think I don't notice everything that you do? You've ignored me ever since we got back to school this year – and don't give me any bullshit – and don't you think I don't know that you disappear every breaktime? I've spoken to your friends and they say that you're with Coach when I saw him the other day and you weren't there! Looks like you're not as perfect as you're making yourself out to be Noah!"

My face flushed, and I had no idea how to answer that. I knew that Via wouldn't appreciate me telling her the truth, she'd already told me that much, so what should I say? "So you're saying that I'm not spending enough time with you even though I've already stated that I don't like you as a person?"

"Stop deflecting the question! Where are you at breaktime?" She smiled triumphantly and I wanted to walk out, even though it was my own house. This wasn't exactly working out the way it was supposed to. I stayed silent for a moment with nothing to say. Every excuse I gave her would always come back to haunt me.
"I don't think you deserve that information if you ask me Mackenzie, you know, considering that you don't put any effort in either."

"If you're not going to tell me then fine. But I'm telling your friends that your not with Coach and that's the end of it." My blood ran cold. I couldn't have this happen – I knew how much Via would hate for everyone to know and how it would be like her first week all over again. I didn't want to peak Harrison's interest in her hurt her any more.

"Seriously? You're that pathetic?"

"Oh Noah, I really am that pathetic." She brought up her manicured nails and stared at them, completely ignoring me "In fact, I'm that pathetic that I'm going to give you the chance to explain to them before I tell them – surely that would be more entertaining?"

"Do you want me to say thank you?" I was done with her game, it was all just ridiculous. Who did she think she was?

"I don't want you to say anything right now. I just want you to realise that this will be the biggest mistake of your life." She smiled falsely "Oh wait – you already made that at Sydney's party the day before term started!"

I didn't know how to reply to that one – didn't know how to deflect it. She knew what I'd done and all I couldn't deny that it happened.

"There you go – you're finally quiet! Should've known that it would take someone like Katie to finally do that." Her eyes scanned my room "So did I really fall out with my best friend over something stupid or was it something more? I have waited for a whole month for you to apologise, or at least say something. But no, you've just become more and more cryptic to the point that you're keeping secrets from everyone."

"Mackenzie-"

"NO I don't want to hear it! You know maybe this was the best idea; then maybe you'll actually take my feelings in consideration."

"let me expl-"

"I don't care anymore Noah. I don't care about any of it – we're over and that's the end of it." She stormed out the room, pulling her bag onto her arm and slamming the door. Maybe I was wrong when I thought it wasn't going to hurt. I certainly wasn't wrong when I said she'd start drama afterwards. The only thing I knew was that this had had to be done, for Via more than anyone. She deserved this after everything and if Mackenzie was going to make my life hell because of it, then so be it. I just couldn't reassure myself that it would only be mine and not hers as well.

I'm sorry this chapter doesn't feature Noah and Via together - I'm upset too but I felt like this chapter needed to be written. I promise that it'll get better next chapter :)

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