We finally stopped off at Starbucks, Katie's bags taking up quite a bit of the table. We hadn't been shopping too long, but I realised quite early on what little experience I did have with the subject. It didn't really matter too much; it was a lot of Katie asking my opinions on clothes and, due to the unfavourable circumstances, I gave very brief ones at that. We'd got an outfit for her party at least so I guess it wasn't going that badly?

The notebook was placed in the middle of us, not that I was particularly using it at this point.

Yes, it really was that awkward.

I gave a small sigh and had the screw this feeling for the millionth time. I'd spent the whole time trying to please her, say the right thing, smile politely and it all just felt so wrong. I had no idea what motivation she had for speaking to me and for all I knew, it could easily be to get back at Mackenzie. I didn't really care at this point; all I knew was that if she hoped we would become friends, it wasn't working. I was actually indirectly helping Mackenzie if that were the case, which filled me with even more dread than I had before – I was actually proving Mackenzie right. I needed to do something at least.

Can I ask you a question? I wrote it nonchalantly, sipping my coffee like it didn't mean anything. To be honest it really didn't – I was beyond caring about how she thought about me.

"Sure go ahead"

Why are you still speaking to me? I know it sounds weird but like you seem like the kind of person that would usually hate me and only spoke to me that time because you were upset.

"I know and to be honest if I hadn't fallen out with Mackenzie, it would still be the case, but... I don't know... seeing how she always acts like she's better than everyone else and how we used to care about such petty things like who wore what dress at parties, it just all seemed so... stupid. I know this is going to make me sound like a stalker, but whenever I see you in lessons or when Mrs Porter talks to you, you always seem so... I dunno... down to earth. Like you're the exact opposite. I sat next to you in Biology because I wanted to talk to you and when it was so awkward... I don't know, it's like I'd just proved that I was useless without having Mackenzie as a best friend."

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't deny that it was true – I didn't care about petty things that I'd assumed Mackenzie obsessed over – but at the same time, it was like she wanted me to be someone that I wasn't. Like I was just some rebellious project for her to feel less like a fake mean girl. I didn't want to be part of that, because at the end of the day, it would all end when the two made it up. It would all be great before then, granted, but was it worth going back to the loneliness I had before? Or would that just be the case in the end anyway? I realised that I'd been staring into space and the best thing to do would probably just be to explain, as best I can anyway.

Look, Katie, I... I don't know how to say this. You're right, I'm probably the opposite to Mackenzie in that respect, but I don't want to be some tool you use to feel like you're not part of that clique anymore. I just want us to be friends in a way that's totally real.

"I totally agree – this isn't some project I promise – I just wanted a better friend to be honest and you seemed like the best candidate?"

Me? You don't know anything about me?

"Exactly"

I'm slightly lost but I'm not going to question it because as long as we're friends that's fine
Oh shit, that sounds so cringy sorry!

"Lol."

It should be put on some cheap friendship bracelet

"Omg yes – the kind of thing that friends think are like the be all and end all in primary school – I remember crying once because this girl that I was friends with didn't give me one!"

Ha – my best friend's a guy so I don't think it would work

"Ah but it would show some real commitment if he wore it!" It felt so much more comfortable already and nothing massive had really changed between us. It was weird to say the least. "Anyway – I feel really bad because all we've bought are clothes for me and nothing for you!"

Oh, it's fine

"Shopping isn't really your scene is it?"

Nope

"Well don't worry – I'm somewhat of a master and determined to find you something good to wear!"

The second half of the shopping trip was a total juxtaposition to the first in so many ways. For one, I didn't feel so uncomfortable. Instead of wanting to die/at least go cry in a corner, I found myself actually enjoying picking out clothes. The fact I'd finally found a second person to be friends with did help the situation as well, of course. Maybe I was wrong to think that school would always be hell for me? That was a sweeping statement, and I really couldn't judge just yet. All I knew was that I had the possibility of having a new friend that I could hang out with at school, and that sounded really good to me.

I tidied my room when I got back; it needed it desperately and I definitely had a lot to throw out. My mum was surprised, but I didn't care at this point, at least I was doing something productive. She had definitely been keeping a close eye on me lately, not that I knew why. It was slightly creepy – every time I was in my room with the door closed, she'd immediately come and open it for me, and she went past too many times for it to be coincidental. Last week she came in and said she wanted help with something, after opening the door and then just started inspecting the work I was doing like I was on trial or something.

I had a feeling this meant that she was getting her hopes up with the whole Noah thing. She hadn't asked me about him directly, but she was a lot more intense when grilling me about school, no longer accepting the wonderful answer of 'fine' that I gave daily. Uh, this was all Elliot's fault, bless him. And the thing is the only way not to disappoint my mum would be to actually go out with Noah, which did not seem likely considering he was already dating Mackenzie, and that he was subtly ignoring me every break time.

"Oh wow!" Speak of the devil. "Your bedroom's looking so much better!"

Thanks I tried not to look displeased – she was complimenting me after all – while putting another random piece of paper in the bin. She was standing by the door, swinging her head in casually like she wasn't deliberately spying on me.

"Via, can I... Can I speak to you for a minute?" I had major déjà vu from the numerous times Mrs Porter had done this, which didn't help my brain going into overload about what this could be. I physically had no idea what my mum could want to speak to me about which matched her serious tone.

I stood up and faced her, nodding my head softly.

"Via are you... are you ok at the moment?" My eyebrows shot up to the ceiling "I'm just checking, it's just – and I think it's wonderful that you are tidying your room – but is anything going on with you that I should know about?" For some reason, Harrison's face popped into my head, Noah's word's ringing in my ears. Should I tell her about him? Would it do anything or make my life worse? My mind kept flitting between the two options, one minute sure to tell her and the next completely against the idea. With this level of confusion, it probably wouldn't be the best idea until I was totally sure.

No, I don't think so. I attempted a persuasive face, knowing that even if my mum wasn't entirely convinced, she wouldn't pry any further. In that respect, I was grateful for my mum for being who she was.

"Oh and I noticed you were gone this morning?" I smiled politely; I had one good thing to tell her at least.

Yeah, I went shopping with a friend from school, to say she was shocked by the response would be an understatement – she looked like Mary Berry had just complimented her baking skills.

"That's great!" She was elated "It's nice to know that you're finally making friends at school!"

It was slightly patronising, and I tried not to be too miffed about that, but it did get under my skin. Why couldn't I just be like everyone else?

Anyway, I think I'm going to get back to working on my room, I told her, and she nodded, probably still in shock by the fact that I actually had friends. I pushed it out of my mind and turned back around to the mess I needed to sort in order to distract myself from everything, despite some of it not being as shit as it was before.

Hi again! Honestly, I'm sorry this chapter isn't more exciting, I just kind of had to write it for everything to make sense later but I hope you enjoyed it :)

Also for more lovely audience participation, what do you think of Katie and Via's friendship and where do you think it's going to go?