Chapter Three

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Most people love the quiet, and long for it after a long day. I never have. I hate silence. There is something sinister about the quiet that unnerves me, making my skin crawl and my very bones feel heavier. Every noise no matter how small or insignificant makes me jump. My ears feel as if they have a superhuman hearing ability, the silence almost tangible, and every rattle a gunshot ringing against my eardrums. What people call "silence" isn't really quiet at all. There is always some noise, whether it be a fan, a car driving by or their own breathing. True silence comes when everything else is drowned out, including the beating of your heart. True quiet lies only with the dead.

Another slight sound causes my whole body to jump, fingers twitching while my mind searches for another sound to terrify me further. My eyes strain against the darkness, already adjusted as much as humanly possible. There is nothing, an endless sea of rubble but no other life. The stench of blood is an ever-present reminder that nothing here is alive, no one but us. Perhaps we will join that stench soon enough.

"Calm down, you keep jumping at every little noise. If you don't steel yourself, you'll start shooting at air next." Jax cuts through the quiet and despite his harsh tone, I find myself soothed by the sound.

I take a deep breath and shake my shoulders out, releasing the tension clenched in my muscles. I smile back at him, giving him a small tilt of my head and turn back around before muttering my apologies, accompanied by a short explanation. "I guess it's just that it's so unbearably quiet, every noise sounds so loud. And the possibility of, you know..." I let my voice trail off, an unspoken threat hidden in the silence.

Jax nods and feigns a smile. "If you want, I can make it where you won't hear a thing."I allow a small chuckle before charging forward, stepping around as much rubble as possible. The sheer amount of the wreckage on the floor slows our process, and I have no idea how long this might take.


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We've been walking for what feels like hours. The rubble is all over the place, and thicker through this hallway. Sometimes we have to stop to pass Liam through a large amount, and I hold his body until Jax shuffles his frame out of the hole. Those are the worst, and while I'm alone, every shadow turns into demons with black eyes, an endless void of death and destruction reflected back at me.

After another struggle through a small gap between two fallen pillars, our moods have taken a dive for the worst. I'm as jumpy as ever, and Jax just as pissy. Every time I slow him down so I can scout, he lets out a grumble of distress or a disgruntled huff.

After a few more moments of walking, my foot catches on something and I fly forward, hands out in front of me to catch myself. A broken shard of glass slices through my right hand, and my blood stains the jagged edges. I hiss out a breath along with some curses and hold my hand to my chest for a moment for the pain to pass.

Jax lets out a cruel chuckle, muttering something to himself before speaking out loud. "Any slower and it won't just be your hand that hurts."

His voice haunts my ears, more annoying than the throbbing pain in my hand. "I'm sorry, would you like me to kick it up to a nice trot? Or perhaps a slow jog?" I hiss, filling my words with venom.

"What's wrong with you, huh?"

I get up from my knees and stare him down in the dark, hoping to God he can see the look on my face. "Oh, maybe just all the cuts and bruises I have from being your personal human shield? Or maybe your annoying 'better than you' voice in my ears every five seconds? Oh! I know what it is. You act all big and tough until you actually have to face down a potential threat without an army of bodyguards to do the work for you, and then you decide to tuck your tail and run."

Through the dim lighting, I can barely make out the curl of his lips as he bares his teeth, his entire body seeming to swell. "Excuse me?"

I don't know where this confidence has come from. Maybe the pain in my hand and my utter exhaustion have wasted away my ability to control myself, so what comes out next is completely unfiltered.

"Don't act all high and mighty, we both know that as soon as there's a sign of trouble, you're all too happy to run, even at the expense of someone else's lives."

He leans towards me, his face inches from mine, this time in challenge. "Would you like to clarify that, agent?" He spits out agent like its bile.

"I'd love to, sir" I spit out with as much venom as I can muster on the last word. "What I meant to say is, you are a selfish liar who only cares about his own life!" I'm screaming now, my face inches from Jax.

Jax lets out a cruel snicker, a cold grin marring his features. "Finally, you show your true colors again." He lays Liam down on a fallen slab of the ceiling, resting the small man's head on its side. He turns around and runs a hand over his face, leaving his back to me while he shakes his head in a fit of disbelieving anger. "You had me fooled for a bit. You had me really believing maybe you've changed. That maybe I could..." another curt and joyless laugh breaks his voice into silence while he shakes his head again.

"What are you talking about?" I let the disdain stain my words, not caring about how loud or quiet I am.

"It doesn't matter."

I lose myself in a flash of red, determined to get it out of him. "Tell me!" I scream at him, my voice is hoarse and shredded.

Jax whirls around, almost knocking into Liam. "You act like you're all put together, little Mrs. Perfect. But you're not! You aren't who you pretend to be, no matter how big of a show you put on! Every time we get close, I always... I fall for the real side of you. The side that's gentle. Kind. The side that isn't afraid to admit that she's terrified and she's damaged. And every time I fall again, you finally show the other side. You blame the problems that you create on everyone else! You want to blame someone for your life, but you can't. It's not anyone's fault, but you always make me out to be the bad guy. I didn't do anything wrong. You can't keep blaming your parent's death on me." His voice gets soft, and he finally stops yelling. His chest is heaving, and he runs a hand down his face again, rubbing his eyes as if trying to clear them.

The words that came out of his mouth leave a dragon of anger curling around my intestines, begging to unleash its fire on someone. "Why don't you just admit it?" I shriek at him.

"Admit what?"

"That you're just as scared as I am! You say you fall in love with the part of me that admits my fear. If you love it so much, then why don't you do the same? You always act like you're untouchable but we both know that you are the same as everyone else. You don't have to put on an act in front of me, and just when I think you might finally let me in, you slam the freaking door in my face and put me on the same level as everyone else!"

Jax breaths in a harsh breath, and throws his arms around, rubble vibrating under his power. "I know when to use my fear as a spearhead in battle and when to run, and I only run when it's best for myself and my team! I don't-" He sighs, shuffling his feet. When he speaks again, the anger is gone, replaced by the wall I find myself face to face with almost every day. "We are on a mission assigned to us by the agency. The past we share is irrelevant to our common goal, thus it should not affect our behavior while on the job. I am the superior rank, and you are to follow my orders whether you like it or not. Without question."

On any other day, in any other place, I would admire his resolve. Today is not that day. "You trusted me when I told you that we should go down the uncharted path. Why trust me then, and not now?"

"To what are you referring, agent?"

I muster the most courage I possibly can and level my face with his again. "We can't leave yet. We have to go after the rebels that did this."

"Out of the question." He barely even looks at me.

"This is what I was talking about! As soon as you are faced with real danger, you tuck your tail and run! Even if it's our only chance at catching the person responsible for this, for the blood in the air!"

I've lost control, and my vision swims with darkness. I turn my back to him, hiding my flushed face. Breathe, focus, and adapt. I repeat those three words over and over in my mind until my head clears and I face him again. "There were 257 agents stationed here, and at least 100 more visiting." My blue eyes meet his. "And not a single one made it out. Not. One."

"I know." Jax chews on his cheek, eyes on the floor. "I read the report. I know." He inhales. Exhales. Opens his mouth, and once again the wall is up. "If you want to run back guns blazing, go ahead. But I will not put Liam's life at risk for your own ends." He bends down and sweeps Liam's sleeping form into his arms, and shoulders past me.

Rage boils in my stomach once again, and I disregard Liam. "You want to run? Fine! Be a coward, just like your father!"

He stops dead in his tracks, his body taut with tension put there by my words. I said the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"No, no I think you did." He whirls around, a fire lighting his gold eyes. "You really should be more careful who you piss off Leah. You aren't a Gifted. You aren't as strong as you think, or as valuable." His response shocks me into silence.

When I find my voice, it's small but strong. "Why am I here, Jax?"

His eyes snap to mine, and he looks shocked. "What are you talking about?"

I take a deep breath and let it out, feeling the air rush against my lips and savoring the feel. "Why am I here?"

Jax seems to compose himself when he recognizes the threat in my words. I have him figured out, and he knows it. "You're here to help guard Liam. Just like me."

No, that's not why I'm here. If the agency really needed another bodyguard beside the one the rebels call "Soundwave" himself, they would have sent another talented Gifted. Not another agent with absolutely no other talents other than being a good shot. No special abilities. At least, nothing besides being expendable. I didn't come from a high power family, I'm not high in the ranks even though I've devoted my entire life to training for them. And for what, to be used as a human pin cushion to take the fire for the more important people? It's almost like Jax said it to my face. I can just hear him saying I can handle myself, but Liam is small and vulnerable. His ability is rare. We need him, but we don't need you.

My entire body shakes with unshed tears, and I can feel them clawing up my spine. Ripping and tearing at every organ they can reach, shredding me apart from the inside out. Because I know he's right. The agency didn't send me for skill, they sent me to put on a good show. I bet they hoped to get a good camera shot from the body cameras they put on us of a young mixed girl charging fearlessly into battle, and being gunned down by the monsters they make the rebels out to be. My gut wrenches thinking about what sad song they would play behind the footage. And just like that, it hits me.

The Agency never expected us to be alone on this mission. They knew the rebels would be here. The Agency knew the rebels would leave someone behind to clean up any evidence. They set us up to find the rebels, and for the two Gifteds to get the footage. They sent three of us in.

And only wanted two walking out.

The tears that threatened to drown me moments ago come flowing out, staining my face in the sorrowful road down the curves of my skull. My face stretches itself into a mask of grief, and the sight makes Jax cringe. His hateful expression melts into one of concern, and he comes rushing to my side. He sets Jax swiftly on the floor and invades my space, a soft breeze created by his hurry brushing my face. His rough hands gently cup my face, trying to turn my head to face him. When I force my head to the side to hide my expression, he hooks an arm around the small of my back till our bodies are so close I can feel his natural body heat envelop me in its soft embrace. The feel of him so close after all the things he said and all the broken memories we share is both beautiful and painful, and my heart physically hurts.

"Leah, I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry." He whispers trying to pull me into a hug. As much as I want to allow myself to fall apart, I know that now is not the time and not the place. I wrench myself from his grasp, stumbling over rubble until my knees hit the floor. I gasp for breath, and even though I know I'm not, I feel myself being dragged into a deep ocean of truth. The truth hurts my mind whispers.

"I know why I'm here." I sniffle once, then swallow the pain. "I'm here to be your guard. I'm the agent that is supposed to die today."

I hear Jax inhale, feel his body get closer as he reaches for me. Then suddenly, he stops. I don't hear his feet shuffle anymore, and my curiosity gets the better of me. I turn my head over my shoulder and the sight before me leaves me breathless.

Jax is no longer standing alone, but a dark figure clasps a gloved hand around his throat. I turned around just in time to see the horror on Jax's face go slack as his eyes turn terribly and earth-shatteringly black. The darkness seems to swim for a single moment before his eyes clear and roll back into his head. Jax slumps to the floor, the legendary agent nothing more than a rag doll in the hands of the black-clad man.

I feel myself shatter for a moment, unable to think or move as I watch Jax hit the ground. When my head clears I pull out my gun and level it right where I thought the man was or would be, only to find him gone. A black boot swings from my right, knocking my arm to the ground while a second lodges a well-aimed kick to my gut. My gun slides too far for me to reach. The assailant dives and I reach into my boot, clumsily pulling out my spare knife. I move to prepare myself to throw it when a cold metal barrel touches my forehead.

"I would drop that if I were you, princess."

I studied my firearm for years in my instructors class. I know every little nook and cranny, know every gear and all the curves. That's why I immediately recognize my own gun pressed against my forehead, held in the hands of a man with black eyes.


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(A/N) Hey guys! I know this was a long one, but I was just so excited to write this one for obvious reasons. Hope ya'all enjoyed, leave some comments please! I would love to know what ya'all think, good or bad :)

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