I felt awkward around Alex still. I was grateful for him taking care of me. We talk to each other a little bit when we run into each other in school. When physics was over, he hurried to catch up with me. We made small talk on the way back to the dorm. He seemed comfortable. I just smiled and swallowed my awkwardness down. We parted ways when we reached our floor, saying a small goodbye.

I collapsed on my bed as soon as I got in. I don't know how to be around him anymore. My back was still sore. I pushed the thought of him away and did some school work.

By bedtime I thought about Alex again. He said he wanted me. I don't know if I can believe him. There's no reason. It makes zero sense. I wish I could tell him why I'm afraid.

I wrestled with the idea all night. I planned out different versions of how I would tell him. I couldn't decide which one I liked the best. I decided I need liquid courage. I'll know it when I see him.

I looked through the fridge and found alcoholic orange juice. I don't know whose it was but I swore I'll replace it tomorrow. I took a small sip. It tasted just like orange juice but with some kind of bite. I downed half of it in one go. I finished it as quickly as I could.

I was careful to be quiet. It's only 11 pm but I wanted to be polite. I grabbed my slippers and left.

There were still a few people hanging around the common room. I quietly walked across the room and opened the door to the left wing.

I don't know what I was expecting but it was just the same as the right wing. I walked down the corridor, looking at the doors for names. Alex. Alex. Alex. I chanted. Alexis Brown? Alexander Farrow? Alexander Roman? I walked up and down trying to decide. One of the girls from the spin the bottle game gave me a small smile as she walked into the corridor. She went past me and knocked at a door around the corner. "Hey," a boyish voice greeted her. She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. When she pulled away I realized that it was him. It was Alex.

I tip toed out of there as fast as I could. My heart was pounding so hard I felt dizzy. He was in a two bedroom. Alexander Roman and Theodore Salazar. The girl was there for Alex. I saw her. She was the same girl he was talking to the night of the game when everyone was already leaving.

I was right. He didn't want me. How could he want me when that girl was so beautiful I looked like a ghost in comparison? She had a healthy tan and golden hair. I'm practically gray. I'm done. I was right. There was no reason for tears. I fell asleep with my heart hurting and eyes weeping.

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The next day, Alex ran up to me with a big smile on his face. I turned away and walked quickly to the other direction. He got lost in the crowd and I was grateful that I didn't have to deal with him. I knew I couldn't avoid him. We had two classes together. By the time history was about to start, my heart clenched at the thought of seeing him. At the thought of being in the same room as him. I texted my friends in the group chat for history class. I told them I was sick and that I'd appreciate it if they could send me their notes. They wished me well and promised that they will.

I couldn't stay in my dorm. I know Alex will go there to talk to me. I went to the library to study and do some schoolwork. I might as well. I found a quiet corner and stayed there for as long as my laptop's battery lasted. 

I was tired by the time I got to my dorm. I was walking to my room when I saw him. Alex turned and our eyes met. I ran towards the elevators. He yelled my name and followed after me. He was faster and grabbed me. He pulled me to him tightly as I trashed, demanding that he let go of me. He half carried me to one of the study rooms nearby. He closed the door and locked it.

"I'm sorry that I did that but I need you to talk to me. Stop avoiding me. I thought we were finally good and then you do this shit again!"

This time he didn't have to tell me to look at him. I stared at him with intensity. I was angry. I know I don't have a right to be angry but I am. He frowned at me, unsure about my reaction.

"What the fuck is wrong?" His nostrils were flaring and fire blazed in his eyes.

"There's nothing wrong!" I raised to my full height, not caring about the fact that he towered over me.

"Then why are you avoiding me?" He leaned down as I looked up at him. Neither of us were willing to break eye contact.

"You lied to me!" I pushed a finger to his chest and pushed him backwards.

"What are you talking about? I have never lied to you." He walked towards me, making me stumble backwards. He caught me before I could fall. This didn't break the intensity between us.

"You told me you wanted me but you never did." My voice was low and was filled with venom. His hands around my waist tightened.

"I didn't fucking lie!"

"Oh yeah? I saw you with her!" The hurt was obvious in my voice. I hated that. I hated the crack in my voice. I hated the weakness and vulnerability I let out just now.

"With who?" His voice was lower but he was obviously still angry.

"That girl. I saw her come into your dorm room. She hugged and kissed you." He looked bewildered. "You can't lie to me. I saw you with her."

"She wasn't there to see me. She's my roommate's girlfriend."

I rolled my eyes. "Then why did she hug you and kiss you?"

"I don't know. She's really friendly. She does that to everyone she meets."

I wasn't convinced. I was still seething.

His expression changed. "What were you doing in the boys' wing?"

"What?"

"You saw her with me... in my dorm. So what were you doing?" He walked forward until my back was pressed against the wall.

I couldn't help but feel guilty. He studied my face and I could see him reek of jealousy. "You were there to see someone. Who was it? You were angry at me because you saw me with a girl when you were there to see someone!"

I stuttered. The longer I took to answer, the angrier he got. "Kelsey, answer me."

"I was there to see you, you idiot," I said in the smallest voice I could muster.

"What?"

I can't say it again. It's too embarrassing.

"You were there to see me? Why?"

A part of me was relieved but another part was mortified. I can't believe he heard me.

"I wanted to talk to you," I whispered, "about us."

"What were you going to say?" His voice was gentle and so was his expression.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you why I ran away from you. I wanted to tell you how I felt." My voice was barely audible but I knew he could hear me.

He leaned lower and closer to me. My heart was beating so fast. No longer because I was angry but because I was vulnerable. Because he was so close to me.

"What were you going to tell me?" His breath was warm but smelled of minty toothpaste.

"I was scared because I wanted you. I couldn't believe that you would want me. It doesn't make sense."

His lips were inches from my mine. "How could it not make sense? You're enchanting."

I snorted. I'm as pale as a ghost and had zero curves. My hair and eyes were pale. That's why everyone sees through me. I might as well have come from a family of vampires.

"It's true. You drive my senses crazy. You're beautiful whether you believe it or not." His lips brushed mine and my heart beat slow yet hard.

He drove me crazy, too. He kissed me gently and slowly. For some reason, it felt more intense than it seemed. His hands were in my hair and he tugged lightly as the kiss deepened. I let out a soft moan.

He smiled against my lips and trailed a hand down my neck to my chest. He squeezed my breast over my shirt then slid his hand under my shirt and my bra. He cupped my breast and squeezed my nipple. I squealed in pleasure. He laughed and took my shirt and bra off.

He sat me on a table and kissed all over my body. From my lips, down my neck, all over my breasts, squeezing and nibbling on my nipples, down my stomach and stopped at the edge of my shorts. My body shivered with every touch.

His hands started massaging my thighs and he looked me in the eyes. I was confused. I could see his eyes drowning in lust, but why he was touching my thighs was a mystery to me.

"Can I take them off?" I could see how much he wanted this. I had no idea what he wanted to do, but I trusted him. I bit my lip and nodded. He captured my lips and kissed me hungrily. Grabbing my hips, he pushed me forward towards the edge of the table. He lifted my hips as he pulled my shorts and my underwear off together. Suddenly I was very aware of how I looked like down there. I kept clean and trimmed my pubic hair but I definitely wasn't hairless. I blushed red and he simply smiled at me. "Don't be embarrassed. You have nothing to worry about."

He began to push my knees apart and I yelped. I squeezed my thighs together. He looked at me wondering what was wrong. "I'm not supposed to open my legs," I said in a small voice.

"Why?" His eyebrows knit together

"My whole life everyone told me to keep my legs closed," I said as quietly as I could.

I could see his mind working behind his green eyes. Something clicked and he gave me a mischievous smirk. He grabbed my shirt and tied my ankles together. "Now you don't have to break the rule. You can keep your legs closed."

My face felt hot. I couldn't believe it. He found a loophole. I know what they meant but they never said the words exactly. I smiled back at him.

He pushed my legs onto the table and off to the side. He was satisfied with himself and couldn't stop grinning. He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me hard. He squeezed my breasts hard and bit my nipples causing me to yelp in pain and pleasure.

He rubbed my thighs up towards my core. He maintained eye contact with me and then touched me down there. I shivered. He rubbed up and down my lips and focused on a certain spot. I closed my eyes and moaned.

"Look at me." He captured my lips once more and then lowered himself. He knelt in front of me, his face close to my core. I can't believe this. My body was heated all over. I wanted to cover my face with my hands. But before I could he grabbed my hand. "Look at me," he said again.

He started kissing my thighs and my hip until he got closer and closer to my core. I felt liquid slowly drip out of me. My breathing was uneven from anticipation and his eyes sparkled with lust and amusement. Then he licked me. I was confused. It felt good. It's unhygienic. It's dirty. But it felt so good.

He didn't stop there. He kissed my lips down there just like he kissed my mouth.  His tongue was soft and wet and his strokes were slow and gentle. He licked up and down my slit then sucked at the spot above. A moan caught in my throat. I could feel him smile as he sucked a lip. He licked my slit again then pushed his tongue inside me. My legs shivered and he held my hips down. He repeated the same motion, causing the same reaction.

He changed things up, surprising me every time. My moans grew loader and more consistent as his intensity grew. My legs started shaking. The feeling deep within me began climbing higher and higher. His breath was warm and his tongue stroked deeper and deeper inside me. A scream was bubbling on my throat and I tried to withhold it. It came out as a thin squeal which got louder and higher.

Alex grabbed the hair at the back of my neck adding to the pleasure. He pushed me forward and said "look at me." I opened my eyes and saw his beautiful face, his lust filled green eyes and his tongue. His tongue was moving quickly along my slit and pushing inside me. It was crazy how hot he looked. I could feel myself climbing higher and my eyes could barely focus. He pulled on my hair and I opened my eyes to meet his. My whole body was starting to shake and I screamed when he sucked the spot above my slit.