I could cry. It's been a month since I last spoke to Alex. Of course, I still see him. He openly stares at me now. He looks confused every time he sees me. I look away and avoid his eyes.

He didn't reject me. I rejected him. But I feel like I'm the one who was rejected. He probably only touched me because he's an eighteen year old horn dog. He'll probably do it with any girl who lets him.

I wondered why I care. I don't know him. He doesn't know me. I don't have plans to be in a relationship anytime soon so it's not like I have a romantic interest in him. It was just sexual attraction. We're not even friends.

I liked the way he touched me. Maybe it doesn't matter if he's using me. Maybe it doesn't matter if I'm just a body to him. I could do the same to him. He's hot and he's willing to do sexual stuff with me. This could be the wildest thing that will ever happen to my life.

I know what my future will look like. When I'm older, my parents would choose a man for me and I'll marry him and be stuck with him for the rest of my life. Divorce isn't an option. I will live a boring life raising children and taking care of my parents. There's nothing wrong with that, but there's nothing exciting about it either.

But have some dignity, Kelsey! You're not a sex toy! I yearned for his touch and I mentally slap myself for it. I'm lost in my thoughts and come back to reality when I heard someone call my name. I turned around and of course it was Alex.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the staircase. Why did we keep doing this? Is it our tradition now? There's more than one way to get someone to come with you. I didn't protest and just followed him. In a hallway crowded with students, I don't think anyone even spared us a glance.

He took off his backpack and pulled mine from my shoulder. He set both of them down on the stairs. I just looked at him expressionless. He backed me up against the wall and trapped me in between his arms. I know what he's thinking. There was no point. I don't plan on fighting or getting out.

"What the fuck is going on?"

I didn't say anything. I just looked down at my feet.

"Look at me. I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what's wrong." I was rattled by the authority in his voice. I've never seen him like this before. He was always joking around and being funny. This is a different side of him. Instead of being scared, I liked it. I got the feeling. Oh my god, how did this make me horny?!

Finally, I met his eyes. The green in his eyes were almost black as his pupils dilated. I liked being this close to him. I liked how his arms flexed as he held me between them. I liked how his jaw tightened in anger. I looked away again.

"Tell me what's going on, Kelsey. You haven't talked to me in a month and you could barely look at me." His eyes were searching my face but I remained expressionless.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I cross a line last time?" His voice was softer now, apologetic. I felt guilty.

"No, it's not you." That's a lie. "I just don't know if what we're doing is a good idea." That's true.

He breathes out in relief. "I know what you mean. I've never done this with anyone before." I looked at him in surprise. I had him pegged for a fuck boy. He's too hot not to have girls throwing themselves at him.

He saw the look on my face and laughed. "I'm serious. I'm not exactly a virgin but I've never acted like this. I don't know why I'm so attracted to you. I don't know why I want you."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah right. What a line. He saw me and scoffed at my expression. "I'm not lying. I don't know what you're thinking about me right now but unless you believe me, you're wrong." He sighed and turned to pick up his backpack. "I have class. I'll see you in physics."

This time he's the one who wouldn't look at me. For some reason, that hurt. He was just doing what I've been doing to him. I wondered if this is how he felt this whole time. This sucked.

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I ran from the class as soon as the professor said that it was over. I didn't even bother putting my laptop backpack into my bag. I know Alex sat in the back so it will take him a few minutes longer to get out of the room.

I ran to the dorm as fast as I could. I was panting and sweaty by the time I reached the lobby. The air conditioner was a relief on my heated skin. The elevator was taking longer than expected. I was getting frustrated and I looked around in boredom. From the large windows, I could clearly see a tiny version of a familiar figure. I know it's him. I kept pressing on the button knowing that it wasn't going to help. As he got closer, I ran to the fire exit stairs.

It was a long climb. I was at the 16th floor. I was already exhausted from running earlier and now I have to climb Mount Everest. As I reached my floor and limped towards my dorm room, I couldn't help but think that I'm pathetic.

As I turned a corner, I palmed my face when I saw the worst possible thing that could have happened to me that day. Alex was standing there, knocking on my door.

I contemplated running again but my body was about give out in exhaustion. I collapsed onto the floor and plopped my butt down the hallway's carpet. Alex turned to see where the noise came from and his eyes widened when he saw me.

"What happened?" I wanted to disappear right there. I wished I had the power of invisibility. No amount of praying would get me out of this situation.

I closed my eyes. That was the only thing I could do. Alex grabbed my arm and my waist and pulled me up. I knew I was gross but I didn't care. This might be a good thing. Maybe after seeing this he will leave me alone. It will confirm that he never actually wanted me.

"Key?" I pulled it out of my pocket and he took it from me to open the door.

"Let go. I'm okay. I just went for a run."

"It's interesting that you didn't come from the direction of the elevators."

"Yeah no. I decided to take the stairs as extra exercise." It wasn't a complete lie.

"I think sixteen sets of stairs might be too much for you." There was a hint of humor in his voice.

He took my backpack off me and set me on the couch. He looked around to find me a glass of water with ice. He handed it to me and I drank it eagerly.

"Thank you for your help. I can take it from here."

"I don't think I can leave you like this. You'll get sick."

"I'm fine."

"I promise I'll leave when I'm done."

I closed my eyes. I could hear the fans roar louder and a cold breeze coming from the air conditioning. I sighed. I don't even care what Alex is doing. I'm too tired.

I can hear his footsteps but I didn't bother to watch whatever he's doing. I can hear water running. "Kelsey." I could barely open my eyes. I just wanted to sleep. He pulled me off the couch and slowly walked me to the bathroom like a baby.

I was dizzy and my legs were wobbly. I could smell eucalyptus bath salts. It's supposed to be for muscle relaxing. It's my favorite bath stuff. It smells really good.

"Can I take this off?" I frowned. He lifted my shirt and I just nodded. He pulled at the band of my shorts and I squealed.

"I'm sorry. Would it make you feel comfortable if I took off your clothes when you're in the bath?" I nodded. He helped me into the tub. I hissed at the freezing water. This is ridiculous how would the bath salts melt? When I laid in the tub I realized that I didn't feel any clumpy salts. He must have used the foaming bath liquid.

I sighed in relief. The water was freezing but it felt relaxing. My muscles were sore. I felt a warm hand touch my forehead. I almost forgot Alex was here. "You're still really hot." I didn't bother opening my eyes. The bath was slowly easing my muscles and relaxing me. I let out a long sigh/ moan in relief.

Alex coughed. "Can I take off your clothes now?" My eyes shot open. Then I realized why. I closed my eyes again. I nodded and I began removing them myself. I was struggling to move my muscles. Did I pull something? Did I have a charley horse? Something's wrong. He pushed my hands aside and reached deep in the water. He carefully searched in the water for my clothes. He pulled me forward so he could unclasp my bra. Taking off the bra was a relief, too. I let out another sigh. He gently set me back down. I whimpered in pain. My back hurt. My backpack was full of thick textbooks and I ran with them on my back.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'm going to take your shorts off now, okay?" My eyes were completely open and my mind was alert. I blushed so hard I could feel the blood hot from my face down my chest.

"I-I... I can do it," I whimpered again at the effort of arching my back to pull down my bottoms. Alex looked at me slightly amused. "I'll do it. I swear I won't touch anything."

He pulled my shorts along with my underwear. I managed to pull them down enough so he didn't have to lift my butt up to get them off. He kept his promise. He didn't touch. I was slightly disappointed.

"I'll get you another glass of water." I closed my eyes again. I just wanted to sleep.