LOGAN

Logan went into the kitchen late at night to make himself something sweet before going to bed. He was craving chocolate, and Blake had by now finished all the chocolates that had been here the last time he was home.

He found some chocolate chips and began mixing them in a cup with the ingredients for a mug cookie, one of the only things he had learned to make even after two and a half years of living away for college. He was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, waiting for his mug cookie to finish cooking in the microwave when Olivia turned the corner to the kitchen.

He hated the way she couldn't hide the instant terror on her face as she saw him standing there. Her eyes widened like a deer in headlights. She stiffened and took an almost imperceptible step to go back down the hallway. He hated the way people ran from him like he was going to explode, even though he knew they had good reason to.

Her hair was just as wild and curly as it had been when she was five, when Logan would gently tug on her hair and make him face her so he could kiss her chubby cheek and make her squeal at him to stop in her babyish voice. Her cheeks weren't chubby anymore, her voice was practically nonexistent in front of him, and she didn't smile. Something in Logan's chest ached for what had been, for what could have been if her mom hadn't taken her away.

It took him a minute to realize she was staring at his arms. The thin white lines criss crossing and running parallel and even in some places cut in haphazard zigzags had stopped bothering him long ago. It had taken him a long time to start wearing short sleeves again, but once he started, he never looked back, never gave it a second thought. Some days, he hardly remembered that the scars were still on display.

But the fact that the sister he hadn't seen in nine years was staring at the evidence of the awful, dark things he had felt so many years ago suddenly made him feel uncomfortable in his skin.

Logan knew it was completely irrational because he didn't have to answer to anyone but himself, especially not this girl he barely knew. Nevertheless, for some reason, all the shame and humiliation and the itch of living in a body he had scarred, all those feelings he had resolved never to feel again crept into his chest.

"It's rude to stare," he snapped at her, angry that she was so blatantly questioning his choices, but when her face went blank, he wanted nothing more than for the tiles to swallow him up.

"I- I'm sorry," she murmured, and went to the cabinet to take out a glass. She went to the sink and began filling it with water.

The microwave beeped and he took his mug out of the microwave. The smell wafted into the room.

Fix it, he demanded of himself.

"It's fine," he made himself say. "It was a long time ago."

She turned off the tap and turned around. They stared anywhere but at each other for a few moments before Logan said, "I'm sorry I scared you last night."

He knew that what he should actually be apologizing for was yelling obscenities about her this morning for the whole house to hear, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He hoped it would go away, like a bad dream, that he could forget about it if he didn't say it out loud. He had never said anything so cruel to anyone, and he didn't want to think about it.

All he could do was hope she understood he was apologizing for both things.

Olivia shrugged like it didn't bother her. "It's okay. You didn't know I was sleeping there."

"You scared the hell out of me with your scream too," he admitted.

"I thought you were going to kill me."

"I thought you were too." Logan took another spoon out of the drawer and held out his mug to Olivia. "You want to try some?"

She shook her head, but he insisted, and she finally took the mug in her hands and took a bite. "Tastes like a brownie," she said.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "It's not supposed to."

"I like it anyways." She held it out for him to take back, but he waved his hand.

"Keep it if you like it."

The uncomfortable itching under his skin was getting worse the longer they stood there and talked to each other. Logan was worried that if he stayed any longer, he would either say something really mushy or really mean to her, so he told her good night as fast as he could, and left the kitchen before she could say another word.

He shut the door behind him as he got back to Blake's room, where his brother was dead asleep on the bed, and slid down against the wood until he was sitting on the floor, his forehead against his knees.

He had thought back then that he was doing the right thing, that she needed their family, because who couldn't need their family? Who didn't need people who didn't keep you just because it was their job, but because they wanted to? He had thought that it wouldn't matter she was coming home because he wouldn't be at home and even if he did come in, he wouldn't have to get involved with all the feelings that rushed in when you saw your little sister after years apart.

But that was impossible. Impossible because he could remember how much he had loved her nine years ago, and impossible because sometimes, he saw something of himself in her.

He knew what happened when you came to care for someone. Sooner or later, all your black secrets and unmentionable thoughts, no matter how long ago, started to come out. Sooner or later, you were forced to relive all those things you never wanted to think about again.

He couldn't stand the thought of having to try all over again. After trying so hard to put himself back together again, after years of keeping people out just so he could try to keep in whatever was left of himself in his heart, living with Olivia was going to force him to try to open it to her at the risk of opening one too many doors to things he had worked so hard to put behind himself.

And he wasn't going to go down that same dark path again.

So he did what he always did when his feelings started to get the best of him, when he could feel a little bit of the darkness creeping back in.

He packed up his things and he left.

I feel like there's a lot of Logans in the world. And I feel like maybe there's a little bit of Logan in everyone, so just be kind to everyone you meet, everyone you talk to, and everyone you think you know. Give people second chances because we're human, after all, and we're not perfect. 

For next time: double update, so it doesn't matter, but Cody stirs up some trouble...