Chapter 31

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Living with Shane's family was interesting. Technically, we hadn't seen his parents since the night we showed up with bags in tow. His mother wrapped her arms around us in turn and rambled about how everything we need is at our disposal. Food in the fridge. Shampoo for showers. She listed it all out for us, even though we were frequent guests. His father gave Lucas a firm handshake and nodded at me. He was always unsure of how to handle a girl, and like always I nodded back at him.

Lucas used his hand at the small of my back to guide me once again. This time we went to the stairs and down the hall. The pressure at my back grew as my pace slowed. The room I stayed in since I was seven made my stomach turn. My brother must have sensed my hesitation. Before I could reach the closed door, he nudged me toward the door across the way; his room.

The shakey smile was tight as I nodded again in appreciation. He kissed the top of my head and whispered what should have been words of encouragement. I would find someone better. He wasn't worth the heartache. No need to stress about anything tonight. All would be better in the morning.

It was at that point that I pulled away from him and entered the room. Unlike the modern, white furniture in my usual room, this one had truly been decorated for a man. Dark wood outlined the bed with matching nightstands. A built in bookcase at the far end with leather bound books and knick-knacks to encourage a studious feel. I pulled on the metal chain of one of the laps and welcomed the warm glow that barely lit the room.

The alarm clock was the type that you had to wind and didn't have a snooze function. The tiny arms pointed in two different directions and made me sigh. It was only a quarter to seven. Too early by a teen's standard to sleep. As I heaved my bags onto the bed, the weight hadn't disappeared. The knots between my shoulders and in my neck grew tighter.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I tried to focus on the decision of changing now or later. If I could focus on one thing at a time, maybe I could forget about today. Reasoning with myself as to why it was damn important, the scars began to tear. My mother had decided to make an appearance after she left with only a note and photos to remind us she did in fact exist. Then I fought with Finn, pulled a Lucas and hit him. Now, my brother and I were hiding out at the Russel's house.

Finn.

My sight blurred as our fight echoed in my currently clear head. He had accused me of so much. I'm the reason he had restricted practices this week. He wasn't allowed to play in the game on Friday. I can handle the blame for that. The accusation that mattered to me most, the one that cut me deepest, was the comparison to my mother. My betrayal was for his safety, because I cared. My mother didn't care about anyone, but herself.

As my thoughts drifted to the stranger disguised as my mother, I began to wonder what she could possibly be doing right now. It's not like she didn't know where everything was. She and Dad had bought the house a year after they married. The mismatched dishes they used for the first few years were replaced with a set she picked out. The furniture she had spent years making sure fit their respective rooms perfectly.

She wouldn't dare sleep in what had become Dad's room, would she? Maybe since we were gone, she'd stay in my room. If she truly meant well, she would sleep on the couch.

My hand smacked at the mattress as I growled in frustration. This year is turning out to be nothing like I had planned. I wanted simple and quiet. Heather pushed me to venture outside of that perfect, predictable bubble. Now, I'm heart broken and preparing to step into the spotlight this Friday. My mother had made a miraculous return without any warning. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, is going right.

Shane bumped his shoulder pad against mine and held a ball up to my face. Being dressed and on the sidelines was such an odd sensation. I was proud to finally be wearing a jersey that wasn't borrowed from one of the guys. It was all mine to claim. My very own polyester material with big thirteen on the front and back.

The teammates who were still learning to get used to my presence had mocked me for picking an unlucky number. It didn't bother me though. I had always felt on the unlucky side to begin with. If the last week proved anything, it was that my luck could in fact get worse.

As I nodded to him, and took a few steps back, Shane lobbed the ball in my direction. He wanted me to loosen up and focus on something other than the crowd. We were only a half hour into the game and there were already rude comments being thrown in the referee and coaches direction. There was a lot of pressure to go out in front of a crowd this amped up.

The old timers were going to have plenty of comments about me being on the field in a few short downs. If we happened to win, it would be thanks to everyone who touched the ball; everyone except for me. If we lose, I'd likely be run out of town before the buzzer could mark the end of the game.

With a half ass throw to Shane, I was reprimanded with a slow shake of his head. He had talked to me when the team gathered after changing. He didn't want me to hold back, even during warm ups, and knew that's exactly what I was doing. The return pass drilled against my pads and arm. I got the message loud and clear. Taking a step back, I brought the ball over my shoulder and used all my power to launch the ball back at him.

The proud, enthusiastic bobbling of his head was interrupted by the shrill cry of a whistle. He smacked my helmet as I trotted past him. Coach muttered a generic let's-see-what-you-got when I slowed to see if he had a plan he wanted me to relay to the other offensive players. Going in blinde wasn't my idea of a good way to make my debut. It was still early in the first quarter. Maybe he figured he would let me make my own choice then pull me when things took a turn for the worst.

Joseph was to my right as we huddled up. The guys all looked for direction. I called for a passing play and they all shared a look with the receivers. Both were back ups and had just started physically learning their routes this past week. Greg had a few more weeks under his belt since the incident with Noah, but he was still uncertain. Jeremy was focused on the grass at the center of our huddle. I smacked his helmet, leaving my hand there to get his attention.

"It's going to Allen, so stop sweating so much," I teased with a serious tone. With a shaky nod from him, my eyes drifted over my linemen then to Greg. He nodded his head as I told him to have his hands ready. One more glance at the intimidating giants and I clapped my hands.

The thunderous roar of the crowd I was used to hearing swarming me was now soft mutters as the guys lined up. I called out the play as I looked up and down my line. One of the corner back to my left beamed like a fool as he realized I was in fact a chick. My eyes locked on Jeremy and he nodded, finally catching on to what I was doing. The back field shifted before the ball was snapped to double team the nervous wide receiver.

The familiar grooves settled perfectly into my hand and I took a few steps back to ready the pass. As I had hoped, the extra coverage on Jeremy had left Greg with one man. He was about three yards behind my target and giving up as I angled toward the obviously worse choice. The defensive linemen were pounding on the only protection I had. Gloved fingers reached from between the wall to try and grab me.

The crowd came back to life as they hollered at me to get rid of the ball. Greg was now ten yards ahead of his opponent. That was what I was waiting for. Switching my stance, and ball to my other hand, my whole body was now prepared to throw with my left hand. The ball rolled off my fingers and slow motion consumed my vision as it spun through the air.

Our sideline had fallen to gasps as they watched everything from a better angle. The player who had given up on the chase was now trying to double his efforts to reach Greg, but there was too much ground to cover as the ball began to descend. With his hands out, my target snatched the ball with a slight hop. The instant his feet touched the grass, he was gone. Sprinting like a mad man down the vacant field ahead of him. I held my breath as he reached the five yard line as the guy trailing after him passed the seven.

His shadow was fast as they neared the end zone. An arm reached out to grab for the ball cradled in the crook of Greg's arm. He twisted away from the player, held the ball close to his chest and dove head first over the line. The siren over the scoreboard wailed as I blinked back to life. Joseph smacked my helmet and sang my praises before he ran toward the fifteen yard line. Keegan reached for a low-five as we passed each other.

Being humble about what had just happened was impossible while Greg was adding to the fire. I continued to point out he was the one who had actually scored. He countered with it being a fifty yard pass. The guilty look that cut across the wild smile proved he had been on the non-believing side when it came to my place on the field. Shane smiled at me from his place behind the coaches and tilted his head in appreciation.

When my eyes swept across the faces again, I caught sight of Finn leaning against the end of one of the benches. He had been wearing a scowl since the afternoon I slapped him. Most days he wouldn't even look at me. Right now, the heartbreaking expression made my stomach roil. The mixture of shame, pride and disappointment was hard to place. Were they all because of me? Were they his own feelings?

Shaking my head, I turned back to the teammates on the field and watched as Keegan sent the ball clear through the posts. If the first score determined the outcome of a game, like my father had preached all those years, then we were right on track to another victory. This time, I was the one helping to make that happen. Maybe this whole quarterback thing wouldn't be so bad.

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