• Three •

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"Do you already have things planned out?" I asked as we pulled out of the gas station.

"Somewhat. I've thought about this for a long time," Luke replied. "I've got our first stop planned already. I called ahead at the diner."

"Surprise me."

I rolled my window down a little at a time with the crank. It was harder than Luke made it look so I had to try to keep up the momentum. I stuck my arm straight out the window and flexed my hand and fingers out. I let the wind push it up and down as I tilted it like a car spoiler.

I smiled at Luke. I couldn't hear the sound of what I thought was a laugh over the rushing wind, but it made me happy for some godforsaken reason. I decided in that moment I was going to try to siphon whatever I could from Luke's untroubled spirit. There was no reason I couldn't.

"Where's your brother going to college?" Luke asked me when I rolled the window back up. "What's his name again?"

"Colin. He's going to Washington State."

"That sucks he'll still be so far away. I assume you two are close?"

"Yeah... we are," I started but paused. "Or we were. I haven't gotten to see him as much as I've wanted the past five years, but we still talk a lot. Sometimes I think I never should have left."

"Really?" Luke furrowed his eyebrows. "I always thought Harvard was your dream."

"My mom went there." It came out of my mouth without me thinking.

"Did it make you feel closer to her?"

Luke had this way to get anyone to speak what they normally wouldn't say. His interest when he asked questions always seemed so genuine and sincere.

I nodded my head slowly. "It did."

"Then you shouldn't feel bad for that. You wouldn't have gotten to experience it otherwise."

"I guess you're right."

"How did she die?"

"A car accident," I responded. "I was in the back seat."

It was a horrible memory of loud crunching noises, a scream that I wasn't sure came from my lungs or my mom's, and a jostling of my body that was so terrifying it still woke me up at night sometimes.

"God, I'm so sorry, Reese," Luke said as he exited the interstate. "I didn't know that."

I studied him. Was he regretting being a closet asshole? Was this what this trip was about—redeeming himself?

It was almost another three minutes before I caught myself admiring his strong profile and buff shoulders.

His voice whipped my head around as he suddenly pulled off on the side of the road and stopped. His tires made a crunching noise on the gravel. "First stop! The World's Tiniest Chapel."

My eyes focused out the window where they landed first on a large white sign looming over a wooden bench that read World's Tiniest Chapel. Out behind the sign, in the middle of an algae-laden pond, sat a tiny white church with a brown roof and white steeple.

"Oh my God," I said under my breath. "How cool!"

I couldn't take my eyes off of it as I exited the car. I wasn't registering what Luke was doing behind me. I walked to the bench and took a seat.

I don't know how long it was before he sat beside me, and we existed in silence for a few minutes before Luke spoke.

"Ready to go inside?"

His words were unexpected. I looked at him with a grin, hope filling my voice. "We get to go inside?"

He pointed at the boat a few feet in front of us. "That's what that's for. I told you I called ahead. I want to meditate inside of it."

"Meditate?" I asked with skepticism. "That's the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth."

He stood with a smile and held his hand out to me. I followed his lead and wrapped my fingers around his as I stepped into the small wooden boat and took a seat on the far side. Luke unwrapped the rope holding us against the shore before stepping inside and rocking the boat as he shifted his weight. He picked up the oars, one in each hand, and pulled us away from the dock.

"Do you meditate a lot?" I asked when we were halfway there. I was trying to bring my eyes up off of his biceps flexing with each paddle stroke.

He squinted at me or maybe the sun and nodded. "It relaxes me."

"Ah, is that your trick?"

"Trick to relaxing? Maybe." He shrugged. "Maybe not."

I pinched my eyebrows together, but he didn't elaborate.

He brought the boat up next to the dock slowly. "Grab the dock for me."

I held it tight with my hands as he climbed out and anchored the boat. Again, he extended his arm out to help me climb out.

Is it weird that I actually desired that he would just hate me back? I wished he would be as mean to me as I was to him. Trying to keep up my side of the dynamic was exhausting.

We turned together to face the door which was essentially the entire front of the church. We both looked up at the steeple at the same time. A little silver cross on top shined in the sun.

I didn't know what I was expecting when we finally stepped inside. It couldn't have been more than four feet by six feet. The walls were horizontal wooden shiplap. On the left wall there was a small stained glass window edged in red with a white lamb inside a blue circle. It reflected the sun onto the opposite wall, blending the colors together.

Luke walked the perimeter slowly before sitting against the wall across from me and closing his eyes.

I was like a statue, unsure of what to do next. He spoke as I started to turn to leave him to his solitude.

"Do you want to meditate with me?" he asked, opening one eye.

Instead of responding, I sat across from him. He resisted a smile, but I caught it. I rested my hands on my knees and tried to relax with my eyes closed. I focused on my breathing because I didn't know what else to do. We were both silent, but surprisingly I felt a wave of calm.

I think it had been at least a very fast ten minutes before Luke's voice came out softly. "Do you believe in God?"

I fluttered my eyes open, but Luke's eyes were still shut. Was this appropriate to be talking about inside a church? Or maybe this was the most appropriate place to be discussing it? He was sitting so close to me I could have leaned forward and touched his face.

I squeezed my eyelids closed and found myself responding despite the intimacy of the question and then surprising myself that I wasn't taken aback by it. "I'd like to think so. Otherwise, my mom is... just nothing." I resisted the urge to open my eyes and look at him. "Do you?"

Maybe it was easier to talk freely without having to look at each other. I focused on the red-tinged darkness of my inner eyelids.

"Yes and no," he said. "I'm agnostic."

Silence lingered between us for another minute.

"How can we possibly know?" he added. "But I do believe that whatever the reality is, it's way more complicated than we could ever imagine."

"One day we'll know..." I said. "Or we won't because it is nothing."

I heard Luke chuckle softly. "Are you scared to die?"

"I try not to think about it."

"Kind of hard not to at the moment."

"True," I laughed and opened one eye, unable to resist any longer. "I think... the unknown is scary."

Luke nodded, eyes still closed, but didn't respond. I watched his chest rise and fall. His hands clasped together in his lap.

"Are you?" I asked when he placed his hands flat on the floor. I closed my eyes again.

"No," he said matter-of-factly. "So you could have actually killed me in high school like you wanted to."

I felt the heat high on my cheekbones. Hopefully, he wasn't looking at me. Obviously, he knew I hated him in high school. I'd always assumed he knew that I knew about the game. After a minute of silence again, I realized he hadn't apologized, and the red instantly vanished.

It must not have been redemption he was seeking.

I sprang my eyes open to see him intensely staring at me. Our faces couldn't have been more than three feet apart. His pupils looked almost non-existent because the sun was hitting his brow from the stained glass window, and I saw a ring of yellow in his irises I'd never noticed before it spread out into the vivid blue.

"Do you still want to?" he asked me. I couldn't read his smile.

"I think I would go to Hell if I murdered you inside a church, so you're safe for now."

His smile turned into a smirk as he rose to stand. "One more stop today if you're okay with that, and we can spend the night there."

I nodded as I uncrossed my legs and pushed myself up onto my feet.

"Did you pack tennis shoes?" he asked, looking at my sandals.

"I'm not a heathen."

"Oh," he said, furrowing his brow, "you always have fire in your eyes. Did I mistake it? It's hatred, isn't it?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. He held the door open for me before he lowered his voice seductively. "Or is it something else?"

Focus. Focus on anything but him. I didn't know where to look. "No mistake," I replied casually.

When we were back in the boat and close to shore, I said, "Maybe I should drown you and drive myself home."

Luke's laugh took me by surprise. It was deep and real from the throat. "I thought you didn't know how to drive a stick shift."

"Dammit, I don't."

"You'll have to wait until we make it to Seattle then."

While Luke tied the boat back to the wooden stake, I took a picture on my phone of the church.

"You want me to take one of you?" Luke asked.

"I don't want an awkward picture by myself."

Luke grabbed my phone from my hand and put his arm around me. His warmth spread into my skin, and I caught his scent again. He was like a human pinecone; a cozy fire. "You're not here by yourself." He smiled wide and snapped a selfie of us.

Back in the car, Luke turned on more music I'd never heard but liked, and we rode for the next three hours in silence. I'd open my mouth to speak every ten minutes or so, but I didn't know what to say.

When we pulled into the parking lot of a hotel, I had my first worry.

I unlocked my phone and opened my bank app. I didn't quite think about how much two weeks of hotel rooms would cost. I needed to pace myself because three months is a long time to spoil yourself.

"Luke," I started, "do you mind if we share hotel rooms for the trip?" Then I quickly added, "Two bed ones."

He glanced down at my phone and looked up at me with smoldering eyes. "Of course, but we both know the real reason, Reese."

"So I can smother you in your sleep?"

"Exactly."

The thirtysomething woman at the front desk gave us a bright smile when we walked through the sliding glass doors. She briefly paused whatever she was doing when she caught sight of Luke like she'd skipped a beat. "Good afternoon. How may I help you?" she asked as we approached the desk.

Her eyes glossed over Luke's face before making their way down his tall, lean body.

Yeah, lady, we all wish we could have him. My mind snapped back to reality. Why the hell was that my first thought when watching someone check him out?

"We need a room with two queen beds for one night, please," Luke told her.

The pitch of her voice did an uptick. "Of course. Your name?"

"Lucas Finn," he said, sliding his credit card across the desk to her. "F. I. N. N."

"That will be one twenty-nine for the night."

Luke nodded at her before turning his head and smiling at me. It reached the corners of his eyes, and they creased. I was standing there like a motionless idiot.

She typed for a few seconds before picking up the card and swiping it through her card reader, glancing at Luke every other second. She picked up two keys and activated them before she slipped them into a sleeve with Luke's credit card.

"Here you are, Mr. Finn. Room 328." She pointed to our right after Luke took the keys from her hand. "Take the elevators here to the third floor then turn left."

"Thank you, Anne," Luke said, reading her name tag.

Her face reminded me of a child opening birthday presents. How many times was I going to be subjected to this for two weeks?

The room was a typical plain hotel room with two white beds and a gray carpet. Luke wheeled our suitcases to the corner. He tipped them to the side and lined them up perfectly.

"I'm going to get a quick workout in before we hike. You want to come?"

"Hike?" I sat on the bed.

"Don't sound so thrilled." Luke opened his suitcase and pulled out gym clothes.

"How hard of a hike are we talking?"

"I think it's only like fifteen minutes, maybe twenty, but I don't know how strenuous."

"And you're going to workout before that?"

Luke tilted his head at me before swiping his hand through his hair. "Yes. Besides, we're going to hike when the sun goes down."

"You want me to hike in the dark?" I called to him as he went in the bathroom. "You don't know me at all."

I heard him laugh through the door and mutter something I couldn't make out. When he emerged in gym shorts and a cut off shirt, I had to hold back a gasp and quickly look away. Of course, after I scanned the veins cascading down his arms. He looked better than he did in high school. Much better. His body had filled out, his shoulders were broader, and he definitely didn't give off the fake confidence of a sixteen-year-old anymore. It was real confidence.

"So that's a no to the gym?" he said as he walked to the corner and stuffed the clothes he'd just taken off into a zipper of his suitcase.

"No," I replied. "Or yes, that's a no. I think I'll go sit by the pool for a bit while you do that." I lay back with my phone.

"So, is your number still the same, and you were just ignoring me earlier? I want to have it in case."

Busted. I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Thought so," Luke laughed.

When Luke left, I clicked on Colin's name in my message list and opened my camera roll. The first picture was of my and Luke's tiny faces. I clicked on it to enlarge it. Luke really was just... pretty. His features all flowing together angular and smooth at the same time with the contrast of his eyes against the rest of his coloring. Dark hair and blue eyes—there was something so compelling about it, it was almost soul-bearing.

I pinched the picture with my thumb and index finger and spread them, zooming in on Luke's eyes. I was surprised I'd never noticed the yellow ring around his pupil because there it was again, shining in the sun. I moved the picture over to my own face, but decided against judging my looks. I swiped to the picture of the church by itself.

I attached it to the text and sent it to Colin.

I meditated in the world's tiniest church today.

Whoa, he replied. That's cool. Since when do you meditate?

Well, Luke is a free spirit.

Sorry I didn't answer earlier. Are you having fun?

Surprisingly, I was.

Yeah actually! I'm glad I came. I can't wait to see you.

Me too. Keep sending pictures.

I didn't feel like trudging down to the pool anymore, so I found Paige's name in recent calls and clicked on it.

"How's Los Angeles?" I asked when she answered.

"Boring. Tell me about Luke. Does he listen to terrible music, fart in his sleep, hate pets? I need flaws."

"Your biggest flaw is being nosy."

"Obviously. I'm nothing if not self-aware," Paige countered.

"True. Then: no, I don't know yet, and no one hates pets."

"There must be some hidden flaws somewhere," she grumbled.

"I will find out and report back to you," I replied.

"Good. And I want to hear about how he ravished you in every hotel room you sleep in. Maybe his flaw is he's bad in bed."

I ignored her. "What're you doing this weekend?"

She sighed dramatically. "I've met the most handsome and perfectly hipster boy who has swept me off my feet and will never compare to any other boy—all lanky six foot two of him—and he's taking me to a party."

"What're his flaws though?"

"He buys way too many video games, he ruffles my hair, he scares me when he sneezes, but dammit, I love it."

I laughed. Paige fell hard for every man in the most lovable way ever. "I miss you."

"Likewise. Let me know what weekend you're planning to come to L.A. this summer. I want to plan everything perfectly, so I need at least, like, three weeks in advance."

"I'm thinking July, but I'll let you know. I want at least four whole days with you."

"I need at least five. And I need you to help me pick an outfit for tonight."

She started FaceTime and positioned her phone so she could put on a fashion show. Her purple hair only made me miss her more.

When she hung up, I dug my hairbrush and a change of clothes out of my suitcase. I put on my leggings and T-shirt and went into the bathroom to fix the mop on my head. I brushed out all the knots in my long hair and parted it down the middle. As I was doing the second side of my French braids, I heard Luke come in. I was wrapping a hair tie around the end when he pushed the slightly ajar door open, and I gasped out loud that time when I saw what he was wearing.

Our eyes connected in the mirror, and he jumped at the sight of me. His shirtless shoulders, above his six (maybe eight) pack, were above only his tight black boxer briefs. His smile turned into a smirk when he noticed my eyes traveling down his body. He ran his hand across the back of his head. I wished he would quit doing things that made his muscles move under his taut tan skin. My god, I couldn't stop staring.

Luke spoke first. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were in the room." He stepped to his side against the doorframe to let me silently slide by him. His skin was glistening with sweat, and he was giving off a musky manly smell. Why did he smell so good after working out? It was so obvious I was gawking it was embarrassing. Two dots of his tattoo were visible from where his arm was resting by his side and his pectorals were in my face. I didn't know where to land my eyes.

Make a joke, Reese.

"Do you only workout on days that end in Y?"

Jesus. What?

I backed away into the semi-hallway.

"I'm training to run a marathon this summer, so yes?"

"Oh. Impressive." I ran my eyes across his abs before I shut them hard and turned around. Did I mean his body or the fact that he was going to run a marathon? Both. Definitely both.

"I like your braids," Luke said to my back.

I instinctually picked one braid up in my hand and looked at my dirty-blonde split ends. "Thanks," I muttered as I heard the door close.

He was going to have to come back out, and he didn't have clothes in his hand. I was going to live through another moment of that. God, I could feel myself wanting to live through another moment of that. I heard the shower start to run.

I started rationalizing as I lay on the bed. Paige had planted the seed, and it was trying to take root. Maybe she was right—hate sex is hot.

I slept with this guy in one of my classes senior year of college. I hated him when he opened his mouth, but he was sexy. And once I got him to keep his mouth shut, it was really one of hottest flings I'd had.

Besides, isn't being a teenager all about making stupid decisions regarding boys? Learning what not to do? Like how I shouldn't want to hook up with Lucas Finn because he's a prick behind your back, but he's so attractive that I make the wrong choice even when I know what the right one is. Teenagers love the popular and horrible (but hot) guys.

And I was supposed to be time traveling. Right?

No.

The shower shut off before Luke cracked the door

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