Dammit. I didn't count on Luke thinking this would be a mistake. But he had the beauty of knowing how to relax. He would let it go and act like nothing had happened. I knew him well enough to know that.

I followed behind him, staring at the back of his head in silence. We walked along the ledge and up into the canyon. We passed the same two guys coming back down before we reached the notch at the end, opening up into a magnificent view of the Badlands. Luke sat on the edge, letting his feet dangle.

I sat beside him and looked out. "This place is incredible."

"I know," Luke said. He didn't look at me, but his large hand moved over my thigh, almost covering it completely. His fingertips pressed into my skin. A gesture to say we were good; that I could relax. "It's better than the pictures. I feel like I'm on the Oregon Trail."

"It didn't go through South Dakota," I laughed. "And to think you went to Harvard."

"And to think you aren't hard to please."

I opened my mouth and snapped it shut. I finally looked at Luke. He didn't look at me, but he smiled like he'd won, so I kicked his shin playfully.

We sat on the ledge together looking over the vast land stretched in every direction. I could make out the visitor's center and a campground past the tree line. I watched the human specks moving below. I felt like I was on top of the world looking down in a weird bird's eye view where I felt disassociated from life—like it was just me and no one else. No one was looking for me or thinking about me. I was alone; isolated. That was how I had always liked it.

Sometimes I actually wished I was more isolated. That's kind of depressing, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to live on an island among nature with no technology, no burden of world problems or political unrest, no bi-weekly paycheck or daily grind. I wanted to function independently and voluntarily, unbothered by the fast-paced and materialistic society we'd become. I liked being alone, and I could take it to the extreme. I thought of it as something beautiful, when in reality it would probably be terrifying, but it was nice to daydream about a life on a deserted island.

Luke and I had formed our own little island. We made contact with the outside world occasionally, but we were secluded and relying on each other as we experienced new things together across the country. And in the end, when we were back to the outside world—letting our real lives back in—it would be poisoned.

I just wanted to continue living in my bubble.

I tilted my head and rested my temple against Luke's shoulder. "I read that the Lakota people called this mako sica, which translates to bad lands, because it was difficult to travel through."

"Mako sica," Luke repeated.

We sat for another five minutes looking out at the horizon before either of us spoke again.

"Did you google how to say good lands?" Luke asked me.

I smiled. "No, but now I wish I would have."

"You ready?"

I nodded and took one last look out before rising to my feet. Luke led our trek back down. We went back the same way we'd come in: dangerously close to the cliff, down the ladder, which Luke seemed to fly down, and slowly out the rocks that spread apart like it was spitting us out.

We took two more short hikes which started in the same parking lot as the Notch Trail. We did the Door Trail first which started as a boardwalk before getting up close to the rocks and fossil beds and ending with a wide view of the tops of the never ending chalky rock hills. We circled back and took the Window Trail next which ended with a view below of a deep rock canyon.

We ate sandwiches on the hood of the car before we drove to a new parking lot and ventured back out on the Castle Trail, the longest of the hikes we'd planned. It was grassier than the others which turned out to be awesome when we stopped to admire three bighorn sheep and horrifying when I almost stepped on a rattlesnake. We went in about two miles before turning around and retracing the trail back out.

To end the day, we took a short fifteen-minute educational walk to learn about the fossils even though I protested because Luke said he had to learn something new on every trip he took.

Afterward, we found the much-needed pay showers to clean the dust and sweat off our glistening skin.

I slipped behind the curtain in the shower next to Luke, trying to get out of view of his shirtless torso, before I took my clothes off. I had overlooked this crucial detail. I hadn't realized how hard it would be knowing now what it was like to kiss him and having him think it was a mistake. I wasn't going to get it again.

I peeled off my tank top and leggings and stepped  under the water, washing the dirt off of me. I leaned against the side of the shower, thinking about his lips against mine and how they looked when he'd pulled away—perfect; full with a soft red and a rough look like he'd been making out with me all day. I was turning myself on. I wondered if he was thinking the same things. We were mere feet from each other. Naked. He had to be, right? That kiss was way hotter than I thought it was going to be. Luke was uninhibited; I could feel it. And I was almost positive now that he wasn't bad in bed. He was most likely the complete opposite. I wanted it. All of him. I wanted to experience that side of him—regardless of my fucked up feelings toward him.

"Are you done with the soap?" Luke asked me, interrupting my daydream. His arm snaked its way into my shower, and he wiggled his fingers, asking for it.

God, did he know he was torturing me and getting a kick out of it or was he just being himself and not thinking twice?

I wondered what he'd do if I pulled him into my shower by his arm or if I slipped into his or if I placed his hand on my body. I looked it up and down, all his tight muscles collecting around his elbow, his tendons flexing as he wiggled his fingers.

I slapped the soap into his hand. I needed him away from me before I did something stupid.

I was in my head now, and I didn't think it would go away until I got it all.

—

I hadn't walked that much in a day in my life.

"How many steps do you think we took today?" I asked Luke as we started our drive to Buffalo Gap. "I think that was a record for me."

"The Reese Adler Marathon." Luke picked up his phone, pressed a few buttons, and swung it out to me between his fingers. "Seven point two one miles."

"Fifteen thousand steps!" I said, taking the phone from his hand.

"More for you and your little legs."

"Look at how good cardio is as a work out," I joked, reading how many calories we'd burned. "Who knew?"

"Next week we can run some new trails."

"Funny."

Luke's phone dinged in my hand.

"Who's that?" he asked as I unintentionally read the name.

"Avery." His phone dinged three more times like we'd just driven into an area with cell phone coverage.

Also known as: the real world.

"What'd she say?" Luke said casually.

"What? No," I scoffed. "I'm not reading texts from your ex."

"Considering we've talked one other time in years, I'm sure it's about the reunion. Tell her I'm dragging in a plus one."

"Avery," I started to mutter as I fake typed. "I miss you."

"What'd she actually say?"

I let out a low gasp. "I accidentally hit send."

"Funny," Luke mimicked me.

"Oh my God, she's typing." I craned my neck to look at him with huge eyes. He gave me an expressionless stare. I let out a sigh of relief when I looked back at the phone. "She misses you too. Aw."

"Okay, okay. My heart rate is up."

I shook my thoughts out of my head as I remembered his heart pulsing beneath his chest. I read the real texts out loud flatly. "Please tell me you're still coming. This airline thing is crazy. It's been too long. I'd love to catch up. What day are you getting in? She definitely misses you," I added.

"You think?" Luke breathed out in fake hope.

"What did you see in her?" I blurted out harshly.

"Maybe whatever you saw in her at one point."

"Touché."

High school had changed Avery. I had still seen some of the old her occasionally—when she'd wave at me if we were alone in the hallway, when she'd bring me missed assignments when I was sick—but it was few and far between. She mostly just judged everyone; laughing behind their back, too busy looking beautiful and stuck up to care if she hurt anyone's feelings. But maybe Luke saw the vulnerable person I knew she could be underneath.

"No," Luke laughed. "That's a lie. What else can I say besides I was a freshman in high school and the popular girl liked me. It felt good. I was never popular back in Portland."

"I'm not sure I believe that last sentence. Literally everyone likes you."

"Literally everyone?"

I winced but ignored him. "Why were you not popular?"

"Before my accident, I preferred playing video games over socializing. After, I was the short, awkward kid who drowned. Then when I moved that summer, I got my braces off and grew more than half a foot."

"Luke was one of us," I joked. "Do you have an old picture of you in this phone?"

"Probably," he laughed. "And it wasn't about Avery. She could have been anyone. It was about how I felt about myself. I know she's a lot, but she's one of us too. We're all the same insecure high schooler."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I would have done the same thing if she'd been the one who couldn't hang out anymore."

Luke slid his eyes over to me and laughed. "Ditched her and dated me?"

"Not what I meant."

"Why didn't you date anyone in high school?"

"I don't know," I lied. I could hear the falter in my voice.

"Is there a reason?" Luke questioned me. He caught it, and he was studying me like he was anxious to hear my response.

I stared out the windshield. "Not one that I want to talk about."

Luke hesitated. He wanted to pry further. I could feel it in the air, but he conceded. "Fair enough."

He turned onto a dirt road and stopped in front of a barbed wire fence.

"We can drive through this?" I asked Luke.

Luke nodded. "It's to keep the free range cattle in. Put your stick shift skills to good use, and don't run me over." He exited as I groaned.

"Luke, I'm not ready!"

He slammed the door, looked back at me, and pointed at the driver's seat.

I hoisted myself over the console and adjusted the seat. I sat for a second watching Luke unlatch the gate, and I took a deep breath when he swung it open.

Clutch. First gear. Don't stall the car.

I crossed the threshold and came to a stop. So far, so good.

Luke closed the gate and made his way to the passenger door.

"I got it as long as we don't go into second gear."

He turned his head to the right and left to the vast stretches of grass. "There is literally nothing you can hit out here."

"Except that cliff," I pointed out.

Luke looked at the map on his phone. "We're camping on that cliff. About ten minutes down the road. Hopefully, no one's in the spot."

"What's this called again?"

"Dispersed camping."

"Get your head out of your phone." I stopped the car short on purpose, scaring Luke. "I'm officially obsessed with dispersed camping. Look at that!"

To my left was the biggest buffalo I'd ever seen. Well, the only buffalo I'd ever seen.

"Do you think it will charge at us like you at the airport?" He made his way for the door handle.

I grabbed at Luke's arm. "I'm sure there is some statistic of people being hurt by bison each year in the U.S., and it's probably higher than you think."

"I want a picture," Luke said, skirting out from underneath my grip. "And it's way more than twenty-five yards away."

"You know what the safe distance is to keep away from a buffalo?"

"Yeah, from Yellowstone."

"You are so weird."

Luke stepped around the car and shot some pictures of the bison before he turned around and took a few pictures of me in the car.

After Luke got back in, we continued down the bumpy road until he said, "There."

Up ahead to the right was the perfect little peninsula of land coming up from the grass before dropping off into a cliff. I pulled up near the edge and shut off the car. We both got out of the car without saying anything because we were both focused on the sun setting over the prairie.

"It's silent," I commented after we sat on the edge of the jutted land. "Like deafening in your ears silent."

"I can't wait for it to get dark. Like pitch black in your eyes dark."

"Luke," I said. "Thanks for inviting me on this trip. I needed this."

"You needed what?"

"A vacation," I smirked. "I guess."

A vacation from life is what I realized I meant—an escape from reality. And I got excited realizing I was planning on doing it over and over this summer.

His eyes traced my lips. "I'm going to go set up the car." He rose and opened the back hatch. I tried not to watch him as he put our luggage in the front and put the back seat down.

I turned my waist to watch a couple far off in the distance pitching a tent until Luke came back with our dinner of more sandwiches and chips since fires weren't allowed. The wind started picking up as the sun dipped behind the horizon, and we kept having to catch our trash, so we moved inside the car.

Neither of us had thought this through enough. As soon as we were inside, it was overwhelmingly evident how close we were going to have to sleep next to each other on the make-shift bed Luke had set up. I wasn't complaining, but Luke would skirt around me every time my arm or leg came close.

"I can see why you like this so much," I told him as I lay back. "It's peaceful."

Luke stuffed our trash into a plastic bag, hesitating like he didn't know what to do. "You want me to take the top off for a while so we can look at the stars?"

"I'll help," I said, sitting up. I followed Luke out of the back and when my feet hit the ground, I shrieked and jumped into Luke. His arm snaked around my waist, holding me against him off the ground.

"That's a root," he chuckled.

"I thought it was a rattlesnake." I looked up into his face.

He looked away. "I figured."

We were tap dancing around each other. Luke likely full of regret and me with lust.

We unsnapped the top on each side and climbed back in the car to roll it up to expose our sleeping area to the sky. We both removed our shoes and socks and lined them up together on the ground outside the car.

Both of us slowly lay back down. Both of us unsure of our movements. When I moved near him, Luke moved away. When our eyes would catch, Luke would look back up at the star studded sky and put his forearm on his forehead.

Whatever was going on wasn't easy to ignore anymore when we were alone, lying next to each other, with nothing to do. Each second seemed to tick for an eternity. I had the most beautiful night sky laid out in front of me, and I couldn't think about anything else but Luke's lips.

Eventually, Luke spoke to break the ever mounting tension that both of us felt, trying to clear the air. "I clearly didn't account for the fact that we were going to kiss."

I laughed under my breath and rolled onto my side. The acknowledgement did help to defuse the pressure. I adjusted my face against the pillow we were sharing.

"Relax, Luke," I whispered.

He rolled toward me. His hand slowly came toward my face, retreated an inch, then continued on its path to brush the hair away from my forehead.

His eyes were brighter than I'd ever seen. Something twirled in my lower stomach as he looked at me and held my gaze, keeping me stuck.