• Nineteen •

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We'd been on the couch for a full ten minutes—Luke's face buried in a textbook, my feet nuzzled against his thigh for warmth as I lay beside him watching She's the Man.

I'd just needed a minute of not jumping right into bed with him because I was still trying to wrap my mind around what we were doing. It was more than hooking up for sure, but were we all of a sudden a couple? And it wasn't something I wanted to have a conversation about at the present moment—because I wasn't sure how I'd react if he wanted to consider me his girlfriend. I'd never been a girlfriend a before, and I wasn't sure I liked the idea. That was a little too much responsibility for me.

I caught him trying to hide a laugh at the movie, so I dug my toes into his thigh. "I think you secretly watch rom-coms by yourself and delete them from your 'watched' list."

"Totally something I'd do," Luke agreed. "But I'll gladly watch rom-coms with you."

He stretched out his arm and rubbed my thigh for a few minutes.

"Did you buy your entire apartment out of a Pottery Barn catalogue?" I asked him when I found myself distracted by a modern lamp in the corner.

"No," Luke laughed. "My mom's an interior decorator. She redecorated it last year in one of her guilt phases after not spending Christmas with me."

"I think you'd hate my apartment."

"I won't hate your apartment."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and he squeezed my thigh, I watched him read for a few minutes, flipping a few pages.

"Does someone clean your apartment, or are you just this OCD?"

He squeezed again. "Both. Does that bother you?"

I wasn't sure which one he was referring to, but I guessed neither one did. "No, I don't think so."

"If it makes you feel better, I made my bed because I hoped you would come."

"You thought I might not show up?"

"I thought it was a possibility."

"Totally something I'd do," I laughed.

Luke smiled at me and ran his hand down to my calf, switching to rubbing it with his thumb. I smiled to myself when he turned back to his book.

I really didn't want to be anywhere else. And that scared me a little. A lot.

"Luke, is that my mom's hummingbird feeder?"

He turned his head slowly, catching my eyes briefly, before he looked out the window next to us. "It is," he smiled.

"How?"

"I told you I was going to steal one. And I'm great at shoplifting." He flicked my butt.

"I don't think you've ever stolen anything in your life."

Narrowing an eye in thought, Luke said, "I think you're right. What did you steal in your wild days?"

"I stole some lip gloss once on accident when I was nine. I put it in my pocket to bring to my mom, but I distracted myself so much along the way I forgot it was there by the time I reached her. I only realized when we got into the car, and I burst into tears."

"Did your mom make you bring it back?"

"No! She laughed and told me to enjoy my new lip gloss because she wasn't going back to deal with it."

Luke laughed. "Smart woman. I'm honored to have her feeder. Your dad gave it to me when I went by your house. After I asked very politely."

"Oh." I smiled. That had been there for months hanging from Luke's porch. Luke looked at it every day. A piece of my mom that I didn't even know he had. I had to force myself to stop smiling. "I saw one this morning at my apartment—a hummingbird."

"Me too! Maybe it was the same one."

"Maybe."

Stop smiling, Reese. Thankfully, his eyes were still skimming his book.

"Will you come with me to get a hummingbird tattoo?" I asked him.

"You already know the answer." Luke grabbed my foot by his thigh and thumbed over the inside arch like he knew exactly where I was going to get it.

Another few minutes passed of me pretending to watch a movie while he studied.

"Did you qualify for the Boston Marathon?"

"Yep," he side smiled. "You better come cheer me on. Then we can at least get you in a 5K."

I laughed under my breath at how much I wanted to—not the 5K—be there for him; to watch someone I cared about accomplish something, and that was not a feeling I was accustomed to.

Luke's chest rose and fell steadily as I studied his profile. The same view I'd had for hours upon hours in his car with him.

His dark hair was a little shorter, but other than that he looked like my Luke.

My Luke? I thought. What is wrong with me?

I kept trying to focus my attention back on the movie, but every time Luke flipped a page, the sound made me avert my eyes, and I'd go back to staring at his handsome face and his incredibly gorgeous lips. And eventually, I just couldn't take it anymore. There was something I'd wanted to do for so long—that I hadn't gotten a chance to do the first time.

I turned off the TV, and Luke looked at me puzzled. I sat up and crawled the two feet between us. "Just keep studying," I whispered.

"What're you doing?" he asked me softly when I started to slide off the couch. But when I stayed on my knees, realization clicked in his eyes, and I nudged myself between his knees.

"Study," I said, pushing his book back up toward his face so he couldn't see me.

I could already see that he was happy about it. I ran my hand over his sweatpants, and kissed him along where I could see the outline of his shaft, making him harder.

He made a sound in the back of his throat as I rubbed my palm over his erection.

I found his hand at his side and pulled it underneath the book. "I miss your cock too." I wrapped my lips around two of his fingers and sucked.

He groaned in anticipation.

"You want my mouth?" I asked him, releasing his fingers.

"Fuck, Reese, so badly." His fingers found my braids as I pulled him out from beneath the waistband of his pants and ran my hand up and down him softly.

"How badly?"

"Ever since I first saw your lips, it's all I could picture." He found my lips with his thumb and traced them. I licked his fingerprint. "And I've never wanted something so badly in my life."

He tried to move the book, but I shoved it back up, blocking his view, and he let out an annoyed breath. Then I licked him from bottom to top, circling at the end and received a deep groan back that made me pulse between my legs.

I gripped him with my lips and slid him fully into my mouth, and he moaned my name under his breath.

"Let me see you with my dick in your mouth," he pleaded.

I slid him out slowly and shook my lips against him. "No," I breathed out. I wanted to be in control for now.

I went back to running a slick hand over him and massaging his balls. Another, "Fuck," escaped his lips.

I wondered how long it would take for him to say or do something, how long he could take not being in control. I wanted to test how badly he needed to be the dominant one—because I loved it. It just did something to me, more than any other dominant guy I'd been with. Maybe because he was so damn nice outside of sex. I ran my tongue over the end of him again, taking him into my mouth just an inch. His hips came up off the couch a little when I pulled back.

"Reese." His voice was a little stronger, catching on that I was teasing him. I wasn't sure I wanted to count that.

"What?" I said innocently before repeating my torture. He was too distracted to catch my playful tone.

"You're killing me," he said gruffly. I guess I'd count that because Luke was trying hard to be polite when I could tell he wanted to be anything but.

I placed my lips at the tip. "I'm not going to keep going unless you make me."

I could hear the sharp breath he took in, surprised by my words, and his hand wrapped around the back of my head, holding it steady, while he pushed himself deep in my mouth and let out a satisfied groan.

He threw his book to the side, realizing he was in control now, and let out a third, "Fuck," when our eyes connected.

I moaned for him, and he forced my head down, hitting the back of my throat.

"Look at you. Such a good girl," Luke praised me so affectionately my underwear dampened. Just what I wanted to hear—I was his good girl. I took him as deep as I could and gripped him hard with my lips. "Those lips." He watched them sliding along himself as I watched the pleasure on his face through my eyelashes. "I could watch you forever. You feel amazing."

He released his grip, letting me lick him along the bottom. "Luke," I let out breathily against him. "I love having you in my mouth."

"That dirty mouth is mine now, Reese." He placed both of his hands on the side of my head, his fingers intertwined with my braids, and thrust back into me, controlling the speed by my hair, as he watched. "Look at me."

I raised my eyes to his and hummed in pleasure.

"You look so fucking hot." His eyes rolled up in ecstasy until he moaned loudly, and I knew he was close. "I'm going to come." He let off the pressure, giving me the opportunity to pull back if I wanted. When I didn't, he whispered, "God, you're perfect," before he shuddered and grunted, and I felt the warmth hit the back of my throat.

I opened my mouth for him when he stilled, and he pushed two fingers deep inside before I swallowed around them.

I smiled when he slid them out, and Luke wrapped his fingers around my chin.

"I mean it, Reese. You've ruined me."

When he finally finished the chapters he needed to read, Luke ordered us a margherita pizza as a late lunch. I pushed myself up onto his kitchen island and he placed the box beside me after it was delivered.

I pulled him between my legs with my feet and ran the tip of my nose over his neck. "You smell so good."

"It's just soap," he chuckled, placing his hands on my thighs. "Cologne makes me sneeze."

"Is May 26 your birthday?" I asked.

He pulled his shoulders back to look at my face and smiled. "No, it's the date of my death."

"Luke!" I exclaimed and wrapped my hands around his neck. "That's so morbid."

"No, it's not," he said, kissing the tip of my nose. "I'm not dead."

"I'm glad you're not dead."

He frowned and placed his palm on my forehead. "You feeling okay?"

I scrunched up my nose. He picked up a piece of pizza and held it out to me. I shook my head, lost in thought. Luke took a bite before he realized I was carefully eyeing him and put it down.

"What?" he questioned me.

I stared back, not wanting to reveal my thoughts.

His hands came up my sides, thumbs circling against my skin. "Reese, you can relax with me."

"I know."

"I can hear your thoughts churning." He tilted his head, looking at me with such a loving expression, my first instinct was to puke. "I want to live in this moment with you, okay? We don't have to label it if you don't want to."

"You're okay with that?"

"Of course." He kissed me lightly. "When you want to be here with me, then come over. When you want to be alone in your own apartment, then do that. If you want to hear my voice, then call me. Text me to say hi, to say anything, and I will be so happy. If you want to come over and just hang out with Lemon when I'm not here, which he'd absolutely love, I'd love it too. And if you don't want to hang out when I ask you to, then I'm okay with it. Just know that whenever you want to talk or be with me, I want that too. You don't have to give up your independence for me."

"Lemon's my new best friend. Don't tell Paige."

"I would never reveal your secrets. Mainly because I don't want to have a second date of death."

I bit his collarbone. "And what about... other people?"

Luke furrowed his brow. "I'm not going to be seeing anyone else, Reese. But if you don't want to give me that..." he trailed off.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to wait to hear him finish. Would he accept it if I couldn't give him exclusivity?

But if I was honest with myself...

I shook my head sharply, embarrassed. "I don't want to hang out with anyone else. But I've never been someone's girlfriend before. I do want to try maybe, but I don't think I'm ready. I'm not sure I'll be any good at it, and I don't know what to do."

Luke wrapped a hand around the back of my neck. "No labels. However long it takes for you to be ready. And I don't have any girlfriend expectations. I already know you won't need any help figuring it out." He pressed his lips against my forehead. "How about whenever you're ready, whenever it feels natural, you can just call me your boyfriend? I'm not going anywhere. I want to be here for you. I want you to feel safe with me. I promise I'll protect you and your heart. However long it takes, I want you to feel like you can be vulnerable with me. You don't have to be alone."

I nodded, happy with that idea. Luke knew every worry I had and could somehow soothe me with his words. And his presence.

"When's your birthday?"

"November twelfth," he smiled. "Yours?"

"April first."

Luke chuckled. "April Fools' Day? I'm going to have way too much fun with that." He ran his palms down my arms and his thumbs back up the inside of my thighs. "What's your middle name?"

"Collins. My mother's maiden name."

"I love that. We can name our child Collins after her," Luke smirked before laughing when I punched his side. He bit my shoulder playfully. "Hopefully our son is stronger than you."

I switched to pinching him over his tattoo, and he squirmed for real, making me laugh. "Somebody doesn't like that," I pouted and pinched him again.

"Okay, okay," he relented, squeezing the top of my butt. "I'll stop talking about our hypothetical child Collins." He paused and winked at me. "We can name him Graham instead."

"Lucas Graham Finn," I said. "That has a better ring to it than Lucas Fucking Finn."

Luke shook his head. His arms snaked around my waist, and he dipped his head to my chest, running his tongue down into my deep cleavage, thanks to my sports bra that was hugging me tightly. He made a yum noise in the back of his throat, and his voice was so low and raspy, it jolted me below my belly button. "I like it when you're feisty. It turns me on."

I tightened my legs around him, desperate for the pressure of his erection against me. I hadn't touched another man since him. "Will you go to the Red Sox game with me tomorrow?" I said to the ceiling. "Not as a date though."

"I'd love to go on a non-date with you," he responded, appeasing me and grinding his hips against me with force. "Now eat your pizza," he instructed me roughly as his tongue trailed up my neck, and he sucked my skin right below my ear. He pushed my upper body back, forcing me to lie down on the cold granite. He kissed me between my legs before peeling off my leggings and spreading my legs wide apart. "I'm not letting you out of my apartment until tomorrow morning, and you're going to need your strength."


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