Chapter 31

Thane was dead.

I screamed.

~~~

"Wake up Emery! Wake up!" I heard someone yell and pulled me from my sleep.

I peeled my eyes opened and realized I was screaming like a banshee. I stopped my wailing as I realized it was just a nightmare and Thane was right before my eyes.

He was sitting right next to me with a concerned expression. I threw my arms around him as the tears spilled out my eyes and I buried my face into his neck.

I felt him tense under my arms and was slapped with reality.

He pulled me away from him and got off the bed.

Wait, the bed? I realized that I was sitting on the bed when I clearly remember falling asleep on the sofa in the room.

"It was just a nightmare." He mumbled gruffly, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay."

"What did you dream about? That human's dead body?" He said with disgust.

I looked at him with absolute shock that he would throw that in my face, "How could you even ask me that?"

"Because there's clearly nothing else that matters to you except the humans." He shrugged in indifference.

"Well to fact check you, it was actually your body. Lying in my arms as I watched you die." I croaked out as the pain in my chest blossomed.

"Eme-" His expression softened as he tried to reach out to me.

I cut him off, "No! I don't want to hear it. You know, I actually thought that you knew me better than anyone else but you don't! You act like you have me all figured out with being the bad guy but I'm not! I love you and you stand there and accuse me!"

"I-"

"No!" I yelled at him, "Get out."

"I shouldn't have said that." He stepped closer to the bed but I recoiled.

"I said get the hell out!" I shouted at him as fresh tears started to stream down my face.

I watched as his face contorted into guilt but he walked out anyways and slammed the door behind him.

I clutched my chest as the pain in my heart returned with a vengeance. My pain and Thane's pain was all mixed into one through our mate bond and it was consuming me.

I felt my breathing getting labored but it wasn't another panic attack. This time it was the symptom of a heart break.

Something made a loud crash outside as if glass was being broken and it frightened the living daylights out off me.

I sprang out of bed and pulled open the door. It was dark but the kitchen light was on, so I walked over, only to see Thane surrounded by broken glass.

His eyes were bloodshot and I could practically see his body shaking with anger and sadness. His entire demeanor was detached and cold, unlike the warmth that I've grown so accustomed to.

He stood across from me with rage, resentment, guilt and sadness. But I knew I held the same expression for him.

And we just stood there, staring at each other as the minutes ticked by.

He remained silent and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Yesterday," I croaked out because my throat felt constricted, "you said that you would never intentionally hurt me. You said that I was your equal and you'd always protect me. But most importantly, you said you love me."

His eyes burned with emotion but he remained silent so I went on.

"I don't know what those words meant to you, but for me it meant the world. It was a sacred promise. A promise that I reciprocated." I swallowed the lump in my throat before I continued, "When I told you that I love you, I meant it. When I said that I would stand by your side and protect the pack, I meant it. I swore to the Moon Goddess then and I swear to her now that I meant every word I said....but since my words mean nothing to you, then there's nothing I could say to fix this." Tears fell from my eyes as I looked at my wedding ring.

My fingers fiddled with the piece of jewelry before sliding it off of my finger. I looked up at Thane and saw his eyes widen in horror.

"Until you put some truth behind your promises and realize that I never meant to hurt anyone," my voice caught in my throat at what I was about to do, "I don't want this. I can't do this if you have no trust in me."

I placed the ring on the counter top among some shattered glass that represented my heart. I looked back up at Thane whose face was set in one of anguish and anger. Tears were at the brim of his eyes and I could tell he was trying to hold it back but I couldn't look at him anymore.

I turned around as a somber growl escaped him and I could feel it rake through my body but I didn't dare turn back.

With every step I took towards the bedroom, I prayed that he'd call me back and apologize and hear me out...but he didn't.

I hated leaving him standing thinking god knows what, with my ring on the counter, but he had to know that what he did wasn't easily forgivable.

I made it to the room, shut the door and went straight to the sofa where I buried my face in the pillow and let my emotions wash over me.

~~~

I didn't know what time it was that I woke up but there was shouting outside the bedroom door. It sounded like Thane and his father but I had a massive headache that disrupted me from hearing what they were saying.

I got off the sofa and walked towards the door to hear what they saying.

"I can't believe you killed that human boy in front of your mate! Have I taught you nothing?!" Carson roared.

"Dad-"

"No! The pack isn't just yours, it's your mate's and your's together. But from what I heard, you just tossed her aside without hearing what she planned on doing!"

"You think I haven't thought about that!" Thane raised his voice, "I can't get the image of her face out of my head when she saw what I did to that boy!"

"So fix it!"

"I can't dad!" Thane shouted before he got quiet and I could barely hear what he said next, "She hates me..."

I backed away from the door as their voices died down and I couldn't hear any more. Whatever Thane thought I felt was incorrect but I wasn't about to tell him that.

I just padded my way to the shower and washed my tear stained cheeks from last night and had an incredibly long shower.

By the time I was finished, I felt numb. Physically and mentally.

The first thing I found in the closet was a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt so I pulled both on before going back to the room. A fresh bunch of flowers caught my eyes.

On the bedside table laid wildflowers and it looks like Thane could at least keep one promise. As I gingerly picked it up, I felt my throat constrict but I refused to cry again.

I placed them in the vase of water with the bunch from yesterday and then finally walked out the bedroom door.

Surprise washed over me as I saw Carson sitting alone at the dinning table and Thane was leaning against the counter in the kitchen with his arms folded and he was staring intently at the ground.

"Emery." Carson greeted me.

"Good morning Carson." I tried to smile at him but I'm sure it came out more like a grimace.

He gave me a warm smile and nervously looked between Thane and myself before his eyes settled on my empty ring finger.

And even though the ring was only on my finger for a day, I felt empty without it. It was like a physical piece of Thane's affection and I gave it back.

Carson's eyes flashed back to mine with sorrow as he cleared his throat, "Thane and I was talking and we think it's best if you come stay with Anne, the boys and I for a couple of days until..." He trailed off as his eyes moved back to look at his son.

My eyes shifted to Thane as well but his gaze was still fixated on the floor. I gave Carson an apprehensive look.

"You don't have to if you don't want." He quickly inserted.

I reached into my mind for Thane and his presence was faint, but he was there.

'Do you want me to leave?' I asked him through mind link and his eyes quickly flashed up to my own.

His face was expressionless and I couldn't understand what he was thinking.

'It's for the best.' Was his only response.

'That's not what I asked.' I stated.

'It doesn't matter what I want, you should just leave.' He growled through the mind link before cutting himself off from me and walking out the door that lead outside from the kitchen.

I felt tears prickle my ears as I turned back to Carson and gave him nod, "I'll pack a bag."

He nodded, "I'll meet you outside."

My feet felt like anchors weighing me down as I moved through our bedroom like a ghost. I found a duffel bag in the closet and threw comfortable clothing into it. Wasn't like I needed to impress anyone.

My eyes wandered over to Thane's side of the closet and before I could think twice and change my mind, I walked over to his t-shirts and packed a few that had his scent on it.

After gathering a few toiletries, I was all set.

I was physically leaving but my heart was staying back in this house with Thane.

I took one last look around the house and I prayed that whatever was happening between Thane and I would soon be resolved because my heart couldn't handle being away from him for this long.

The sky outside was gloomy as I walked towards Carson's car. Thane was leaning against a tree to my right and he kept his eyes on me as I opened the car door.

I turned back and look at him hoping one last time that he'd say something. Come after me. Tell me not to go.

But he didn't.

He fixed his gaze back to the ground as I sat in the car and closed the door on my life.

"Ready kiddo?" Carson asked me with a grave tone and I could only manage to nod my head in fear that my sobs would escape me.

As the car drove away from the house, I looked at the rear view mirror to see Thane on his knees and his hands covering his face as his body shook.

It was the first time I saw Thane broke down and I wasn't even there to comfort him.

With that last image forever painted in my mind, I turned back to look out the front.

"He'll come around, don't worry." Carson mumbled.

"I'm not sure you're right..." I trailed off as the rain began to pour.

~~~

"Emery darling." Anne pulled me into her arms as soon as we arrived at her and Carson's house.

Tate already left with Aiden after the wedding, so it was just her, Teddy, Thomas and Carson. My family for the time being since my husband basically told me to get out.

"Hey Anne." I basked in the warmth of her arms after the atmosphere took a chilly turn. The rain was pouring buckets outside and it didn't seem as if it would ease up anytime soon.

She pulled back and looked at me with guilt and I knew she was filled in on my situation with Thane.

"You look like you could do with something to eat."

I was about to protest but she took my hand in hers and walked us over to the kitchen, down a hallway and through the last door to the right.

Her kitchen was magnificent with a large window behind her sink and a glass door leading out to the backyard.

"I just made lasagna." She said as she grabbed a plate and cut a piece for me.

"I'm really not that hungry." I informed her.

"Oh nonsense," She protested. "I know Thane would want you well fed while you're here."

Just hearing his name along sent a sharp pain through my chest and Anne gave me a worried look, "I'm okay."

She nodded but looked unconvinced as she passed me the plate.

My stomach was in knots and the last thing I wanted to do was eat but I didn't really have a choice as Anne remain in front of me with a determined expression on her face.

By some miracle I got through half of it down without wanting to spill my guts out but I couldn't eat anymore and luckily Anne understood as she set the plate aside and took me to the living room.

As we sat down she pulled a throw over my shivering form and uttered, "I never expected my son to act this way."

"Me and you both." I grumbled.

"I can't speak for why he did what he did but what I can say is that he loves you." I looked at her surprised but she went on, "I'm not defending what he did to that boy or acting the way he is but from the moment I saw you two together, well I knew that my baby boy fell in love. He never takes his eyes off of you, you know? Anytime I talk to him, he always goes on and on about you and how he can't wait till you two get married."

Her words resonated within me but it didn't change what happened.

"At your wedding...you both looked so content. So in love. It was as if you both took the word 'love' itself straight from a book and portrayed it right before everyone's eyes. It's was magical." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, "After I met Carson twenty years ago, it was difficult to adjust, as you know. But there is a moment that I'll never forget."

I looked at her curiously, "What is it?"

She gave me sad smile, "I was already pregnant with Thane at the time and I always liked to take walks in the forest behind the pack house. It brought a sense of tranquility to me. At that point, I've never seen a rogue or been exposed to a wolf fight. But that day, two rogues showed up. They managed to slip past our patrol and sneaked into the territory."

I gasped at what she said, "What happened?"

"I was no match for two fully grown wolves nor was I accustomed to using my powers or else I would I have slapped them with a branch but they knew I was the Luna. One of them pounced on me, I fell and cracked a rib. The other one bit my leg and there was blood everywhere." My heart was pounding rapidly as she recalled her encounter with some rogues, "I was sure I would've lost Thane that day. But I didn't obviously. Carson came to find me in no time and teared the two rogues apart in front of my eyes. You know why?"

"Because he was protecting you." I answered.

She smiled, "That's right. He killed them because he almost lost his mate and child at their hands. At first I was angry at him and repulsed that he could do such a thing but then I thought about. He's a werewolf, it's his instinct to kill anything that threatens the livelihood of his pack. I must admit it took awhile for me to get accustom to the idea that he was killing others just so that I could survive but I knew in the long run that the pack needed me and my kids needed me. The rogues would just kill us anyways if we don't do something. However that revelation didn't come easy to me. Carson and I fought about it. He was angry at me for going into the woods alone that day and I was angry at him for what he did. We were both stubborn and wouldn't hear the other one out."

"So how did you resolve it?" I queried.

"By talking." She grinned, "It took us a while but we were madly in love just like Thane and you. We couldn't go a day without talking so we fought again and then we worked it out."

"But it isn't that simple for us. It's different than a few rogues. The guy was my friend."

"I know sweetheart," The endearment instantly reminded me of Thane and the fact that since he found out about Jake he's only called me 'Emery', "I'm not saying that what he did is the same or that it's okay and I know it's going to take some time for things to heal between you two. But what he did was to protect you. He shouldn't have killed the boy but these Alpha men in our lives think it's their duty to protect us when it's really the other way around. He couldn't admit to himself that it was you protecting him but he'll come around. He knows the truth but it will take him a while to admit it and until then you make him work for you."

I couldn't help but giggle at what she said.

"He didn't listen to you and it's himself he has to blame for that not you. I don't know why he asked us if you could stay here, but he's in pain just as much as you. And after what he did, I know it may seem to you that he doesn't feel that way, but he does. I don't want this hiccup to break you two apart when you've only just started your lives together. But when everything with that human boy settles and Thane comes grovelling, I hope you give him a chance to listen to you." She pleaded.

"Maybe but I don't want to see him anytime soon, I hope you can understand that." I whispered out.

"I do. As I said before, you're my daughter now and I stand behind you and your decisions. Make him grovel and earn back your trust before you decide to take things further. But just don't break both of your own hearts anymore."" She wrapped both her arms around me.

"Thank you Anne, for everything."

"Anytime dear."

~~~

By the time night came around, I had started feeling a bit better health wise as I hadn't thrown up again but every time I zoned out, Ian and Thane would pop into my mind.

Anne surprisingly set me up in Thane's old bedroom and I wanted to protest but after walking into his space, I felt an odd sense of calmness wash over me.

She left me for the night as I unpacked my bag and looked around Thane's room. Across from his bed was a floor to ceiling window which displayed the backyard, the shinning moon in the sky and of course the unstoppable rain that pitter patter on the glass.

He had a wall filled with books. Everything from classic novels to business 101. The wall above his bed were even covered in old band posters and nerdy stuff. His desk was covered in papers and text books from when he attended the pack's high school.

One of the wall contained a few pictures of him and his family when he was a child and I couldn't help but smile at the little innocent boy in the photographs. There were pictures of him in his diapers rolling around in some mud, an eleven year old him sitting a newborn Teddy in arms and Anne helping Tate hold Thomas and there was a picture that looked when Thane graduated high school with Beau and Lucas at his side.

I turned back to his bookshelf and to my surprise, it held a picture of the both of us. It was taken the day when he introduced me to the pack. We had a similar one in the pack house and I planned to line our walls with family photos in our house but this one was different.

The one back in the pack house showed us both smiling at the camera but this one was of Thane smiling down at me while I was laughing at the camera. The way his eyes sparkled with his pure focus on me took me aback. I didn't know why he had this hidden this gem in his parent's house but I was glad that I saw it.

I placed it back down before I walked into the bathroom for a shower. Being surrounded by Thane's space, I couldn't help but miss him as I slipped on one of his t-shirts to bed.

I turned off the lights and snuggled into his bed as my eyes focused on the rain outside. It represented my mood. Heartbroken and cold.

Hours passed until I finally fell asleep.

~~~

"Darling wake up." Anne called to me as my eyes snapped open.

I looked around confused as to where I was and realized I was still in Thane's old bedroom. I sat up and remembered what happened. I had that dream again, where Jake shot Thane.

My eyes snapped to the large window when I heard a loud ear piercing howl. The sound was haunting and almost as if the wolf was in pain. Somehow I knew it was Thane.

"Are you alright?" Anne's question snapped my attention back to her.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, it was just a bad dream."

"You were screaming pretty loudly, do you want to talk about it?" She questioned