Growing up can be amazing,
But it can even break your heart
-Old Friends by Jasmine Thompson

*****

DELILAH

People weren't kidding when they said after having children there would be no sleep. I was exhausted, physically and mentally drained. Liam had managed to get a couple of weeks off of work, an advantage he had working at his dad's shop. But now that he'd gone back to work and I was left alone taking care of Adrian, I felt like I wasn't functioning correctly.

I always thought once the baby came I would feel better, that I'd be happy like every new mom should ne. Yet as I looked down at the little guy looking back at me I felt... nothing. I felt numb. In the month that Adrian had been in this world I felt like I had improved nothing. Mom and dad came over to help whenever they could, but it just wasn't the same.

How was it possible that only a few weeks into motherhood I felt so guilty and helpless? I was trying to do everything right, yet nothing seemed to work, nothing seemed to improve. And for God's sake, no matter how hard I tried to feel happy I couldn't. I just felt overwhelmed, like this whole situation was too much for me to handle.

Maybe it was.

It was apparent that Liam's family thought the same thing. Nothing I did ever lived up to their expectations. I 'lacked' what they wanted in the woman for their son. They didn't really ever say it directly to my face, but I could sense it. They would judge everything, from the way I dressed myself to the way I changed Adrian's diaper.

It had gotten to the point where they barely even spoke to Liam. He had been so close with them up until he started dating me, and when I got pregnant everything just blew over. They couldn't handle the fact that I had 'ruined' their son's life by getting pregnant, as if I'd done it on purpose.

Little Adrian started crying yet again, and I stood up, looking how he squirmed in his bassinet.

"I'm so sorry, kiddo. I know I'm not good at this," I whispered, picking him up and cradling him in my arms. I could never seem to soothe him, something that made me feel even worse. Liam was a natural though, never struggling with him.

When I saw Liam's car pull up, I felt both relieved and frustrated. Relieved because he would be able to help me a little, but frustrated because I would have to put my happy mask on.

What should have been one of the happiest stages of my life was the most stressful.

I was stuck.

*****

"How long do you think it'll be till dad wakes up?" Adrian asked, looking at Liam who was still sound asleep on the floor.

"Who knows, bud. Just know he'll be in a horrible mood when he does."

"That will be three days already."

I hugged Adrian. He kept wanting to talk to his dad like usual, except happy Liam was nowhere to be found. All I knew was that Liam would be waking up with a terrible hangover and all I could do was offer him coffee.

Assuming that he wouldn't wake up until two hours later, Adrian and I went out to the city to take a walk. He was bored and it wasn't fair that just because us grown ups were having a hard time he be the same. Even then, however, it was easy to tell that my little boy was concerned about his father.

Part of me was afraid that Liam would be upset that we left without him, that would be unreasonable of him. And perhaps it was cruel of me, but I couldn't wait to get the funeral done and over with. It hadn't done us any good to be in an environment in which we were surrounded by people that didn't care for us, that couldn't even stand us.

Liam's Aunt Soph was always the sweet one, though. I could see that hadn't changed. Even then, she still part of the blame to carry. She could have called at least once a year to see how her 'favorite nephew' was doing, yet never did. When he'd called, I remember the answers were brief and lacking.

It had been painful for Liam to stray away from his parents, but he did it without hesitation for the well-being of Adrian. He never wanted him surrounded by hate, by anything other than love.

He'd done good.

After getting ice cream and a walk around a nearby park, Adrian and I walked back to the hotel. Liam was still sleeping.

I sighed. I'd never seen Liam with a hangover, though of course, he might have had one during the time I was gone but I doubted it.

I knelt down next to him, running my fingers through his hair. His usually peaceful features were troubled now, even in his sleep. I didn't know how to help him, I just knew that I needed to be there. I couldn't let him fall into depression and relying on alcohol was not the way for him to deal with it.

Pressing a kiss on his lips, I laid down next to him. He groaned, annoyed but even in his drunken sleep tightened his arms around me. Soon Adrian was next to us on the floor, letting me know how weird he thought it was to sleep on the floor when there is a big bed in the room.

"Fucking light," Liam mumbled.

Adrian widened his eyes at his father's foul language. "Hey, Adrian is right here," I said quietly.

Liam groaned, covering his face with an arm and removing the other from my body.

I sat up, cupping his face in my hand which he removed.

"I'm showering," he muttered. He opened his eyes; lifeless and hopeless. I swallowed, my heart constricted at the lack of emotion they showed. He gave Adrian a small smile but barely acknowledged me.

And that's how it was until after the funeral. A funeral for his father in which none of his family offered him any condolences or even cared that he was there or what he felt.

It broke my heart to see such a lively person with so much anger and pain bottled up. I wanted to say so many things to his mother, let her know what a wonderful man Liam was despite the lack of support, that he didn't need her.

I knew they'd be lies. Liam wanted them around, always did. That had been his biggest wish, to have a united family. He never had a chance. His parents turned on him and I took off. Now his father was dead and there was absolutely no way to turn back time and fix what had been broken beyond repair.

Cordelia would never come around and admit her mistakes. Liam wouldn't hesitate to forgive her, I knew that. I wanted to talk to her, maybe say something that would help her realize the pain she had caused Liam. It wouldn't be worth it though. She didn't care for my opinion. But maybe Aunt Soph would.

I had only today to talk to her, we'd be leaving early the next morning.

The advantage of Liam being so frustrated with the world was that he really didn't give a damn about what I did.

So as the cab arrived to the luxurious neighborhood where Cordelia lived, I reminded myself that I was doing this for Liam, that whatever hell I went through right now would be worth it.

Lucky for me, everyone was gathered outside. Still, it felt as if walls were closing, when they glared at me. If looks could kill, I would have been dead within five milliseconds of stepping out of the cab.

Standing tall and without fear, I walked over to the group, holding eye contact with Aunt Soph who somehow knew that I was there to speak to her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Cordelia snarled. "You are not welcome here."

I ignored her comment. "Uh, may I have a word Au- Sophia?"

As Cordelia was going to open her mouth, Aunt Soph shut her up with a glare. She stood up, placing her hand on my shoulder. We walked in silence to the backyard to a bench that sat between a beautiful array of flowers.

"When are you leaving?" She asked, taking my hand in hers.

"Tomorrow."

"And Liam? Is he-"

"He's not. He's not okay at all," I said, before she had a chance to finish the question.

"My brother missed him dearly," she said with a sad smile.

"Why didn't he ever contact him?"

"He tried, several times actually. He sent letters too, but they somehow never reached him."

"Cordelia?" The woman gave me a nod. "It doesn't matter if she didn't like me, he's still her son. And you, you should've tried to stay in contact with him."

Aunt Soph studied me for a moment, trying to see what had changed in the years we hadn't seen each other.

"You've become fearless, I see it," she stated. "You stay close to Liam, make him happy like he always knew you would, okay?"

I looked at her straight in the eyes. "Liam will be going tonight to the funeral home, pay one last visit to his father. I know it would mean the world to him to have you there. He's not doing well," I said quietly, my voice breaking at the end. "He needs to know that someone cares."

"That's why you're here," she realized. "You want closure or him, don't you?"

"He needs it." 

He'd done so much for Adrian and I, maybe I could do this for him, get him at least one of his family members back. 

*****

A/N: So sorry for the short chapter!

I've been busy, like crazy. 

But we see how Delilah dealt with the birth of Adrian, not too well apparently. 

I'll try to post another later today, in which we see how Liam is dealing... or not dealing with his father's death.

Thank you for reading :)

-Luz