Chapter 36

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 Take a look in the mirror, and what do you see?

Do you see it clearer or are you deceived, in what you believe?

-Human by Rag'n'Bone Man

DELILAH

I always wanted to visit Seattle, Washington. Of course, a big part of it was because it was the setting of Grey's Anatomy but another was because I just wanted to travel.

However, visiting due to the death of Marcus Anderson was never in my plans. I never thought I'd see Liam's family again, not after the fall out between them when they knew I was pregnant. I understood that they didn't like me, but the fact that they turned their back on Liam, their only son. always bothered me. 

We got into the car we'd rented still in silence, Liam barely speaking since the night before. I knew this was hard for him. There was no way this was easy to process, especially considering that he would never have the opportunity to mend the relationship with his dad. They had been close, at least until I came along. Guilt wanted to make its ugly appearance, saying that it was my fault. I reminded myself it wasn't true; I never did anything to them.

Part of me wished that the drive to his mother's house would have been longer. I was nervous to see her and for her to meet Adrian... And I couldn't really worry about myself, not when Liam wasn't okay. 

We had agreed on staying at a hotel no matter if his family offered a place for us to stay. We didn't want any uncomfortable situations in front of Adrian. 

I squeezed Liam's hand as we pulled up to the large house, very different from Liam's simpler, less ostentatious tastes. I heard him curse under his breath, obviously not looking forward to seeing them once again. 

There was several cars parked in front of the residence, barely allowing for any room. 

"You stay with us at all times, Adrian. Do you understand?" Liam asked, looking through the rear view mirror.

"I understand, dad." 

This had all been particularly hard on Adrian who wasn't used to seeing Liam under these conditions; so serious and heartbroken. He was a man that always was in control, that always could keep his emotions in check. At the moment though, it seemed like anger was the only thing that reigned. That, and pain. 

I gave Liam a small smile as we walked up to the house, dreading every step but standing firmly by his side. Adrian was mesmerized by the size of the house, the pure white and intricate detail proved astounding to our seven year old.

He knocked on the door and it opened almost immediately, revealing a short woman with long brown hair. "Liam," she breathed. "Oh dear God, how you've changed."

"Aunt Soph," he greeted her forcing a smile. "Well, I haven't seen you in years so I suppose I have changed."

The woman's gaze softened on Liam, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's good to see you, son."

"I'm sure it is."

It shouldn't have surprised me to see Liam this angry with his family, but it still did. He usually avoided arguments and now he was barely keeping it together.

"Can we come in or do we wait out here for mom to ask me to leave?" 

His aunt stepped aside, letting us walk in. I mumbled a thank you and she nodded in acknowledgement. I would have taken time to admire the house had it not been for the glare that met us as soon as I walked in.

Cordelia Anderson, Liam's mother, as always wearing her designer clothes and shoes glared at me in disbelief before turning to Liam, and finally, settling on the grandson she didn't know. 

"You should stop that, mom." Liam's voice was stern, almost threatening. Cordelia raised an eyebrow, everyone's attention turning towards the tense interaction between mother and son.

"I didn't expect you to show. And I sure didn't expect you to bring... her," she muttered.

"I'm surprised you even had the decency to call," Liam countered. "And you know her name is Delilah, I'd appreciate if you call her that."

Her scrutinizing gaze once again fell on me, settling on the necklace I wore, the one I didn't take off since Liam gave it to me, then lowering, analyzing me as if I was some piece of work. She made me sick... literally.

"Well... When did she return? Excuse me, let me correct myself, when did she decide that the family she didn't love was worth it?"

Gasps filled the house as they heard the words that left Cordelia's mouth, and Adrian's confused, shocked face met mine. I placed my hand on his shoulder, reassuring him, though I knew he'd have questions later on. 

"If we're going to do this it won't be in front of any of this so called family," Liam said.

"We won't be doing this at all. Just go to the funeral... if you want."

"You're kidding me," Liam said. He was barely holding it together. "You call me to say that my father is dead, don't even tell me what happened, I show up and you can't even put sh... the past behind us, just for once?" 

I touched Liam's arm, trying to help him control himself, but that was long gone. His hands were in fists by his sides, his eyes fuming with anger, an intense scowl etched on his face. 

"You. Chose. Her. And then she left you two," his mother said, eyes landing on Adrian, my innocent Adrian. 

"We're going to step out," I whispered to Liam. 

"Damn right you are," Cordelia said as I turned around. "You know you were never welcome in my home. Showing up like you actually ever gave a damn... Some nerve you have. And that boy-"

"Some nerve you have," I hissed. "Your son just lost his father after years of not seeing him for some tantrum you threw just because you didn't like me. And he's here now and instead of offering any type of consolation you're still belittling me. I should be the least of your concerns at the moment."

"Oh, don't act like you care now."

"Goddammit!" Liam roared, slamming his hand on a nearby table, it shook with his force. "Give me the fucking address to the funeral home and I'll stay the hell out of your life."

Adrian looked confused and hugged me, clearly not recognizing this side of his father. Cordelia didn't recognize him either. The teenager she'd turned her back on years ago that had, at some point, asked for her help, was gone. 

Aunt Soph gave Liam a piece of paper, "Go, Liam."

Without further word, he snatched the piece of paper from her hands and we left that cold house. The drive to the hotel was tense and quiet. I would have to talk to Adrian, explain things in a way that he'd understand. And Liam, I didn't know how to help him. He was hurt, furious, and he didn't know how to deal with it. 

Even in our hotel room the environment was not friendly. Adrian and I laid on the bed pretending to watch a movie though our attention was on Liam who kept tapping his foot on the floor. 

"Do you need something?" I asked, sitting next to him. 

Hateful eyes met mine, and I had to remind myself that it wasn't directed towards me, that it was only the intense emotions he felt due to the loss of his father. At least I hoped it was. 

"I'll be back later," he said standing up. "Don't wait up for me."

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving Adrian and I lost in the silence. I excused myself, went to the restroom and as soon as I closed the door behind me, gave my brain a few seconds to process everything going on. The man I loved was devastated, his mother was still a bitch and my son was about to ask life changing questions.

Breathe through it, Delilah. Get it together. You have to talk to Adrian.

I gathered myself, splashed cold water over my face before gaining enough courage to talk to Adrian. 

For the first time since I came back he was quiet, sad. Not even when he disappear did he ever look this confused. I laid down next to him and turned off the TV, taking his hand in mine. I wished that Liam could be here to have this conversation with our son, but he was in no condition to talk. So I prayed for wisdom, for the correct words to say to this little boy whom I loved so very much.

"Ask," I said with a small smile. "Ask me anything you want."

I saw him swallow, the nerves becoming apparent in his usually calm expression. "You didn't love us?"

Wisdom, wisdom, please.

"When you were born I didn't know what I wanted," I began, holding his hand in mine, not breaking eye contact. He needed to know how serious I was about everything I was about to say. "I was scared, bud. I was young, I didn't know how to do things correctly."

"But did you love me?"

I thought back to the conversation I'd had with my dad. How did I answer something like that?

"I did, buddy. I just didn't know it yet."

"Is that why you left? Not because you were working or going to school?"

I gave him a small nod, watching his little face fall in disappointment. I tilted his chin up, taking his face in my hands. I needed to repair the damage, nor cause more. "But I'm here now, Adrian. I'm never, ever leaving again. I'm a better person now, I'm a better mom than I ever would have been back then, and I love you. Do you believe me when I say that?"

Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his mind probably replaying all the moments we'd spent together. "I do believe you, mom."

I smiled, squeezing his hands. "Good, because it's the truth. I love you and would do everything and anything for you, do you understand?"

"I do... Are you always going to tell me the truth?"

"I am," I replied.

"Is my dad going to be okay?"

"I hope so," I answered.

"His mom... My grandma? I don't think she likes us very much."

"Don't let it bother you," I said running my hand through his hair.

"It doesn't. She's kind of scary."

I let out a breath, agreeing.

I kept asking the same question; was Liam going to be okay? And I kept wondering for the next few hours, especially when the sun set and Liam still hadn't come back. I ordered room service for dinner, and soon after Adrian fell asleep but there was no sign of Liam. I called him and there was no answer. 

He was a smart man. Distraught as he was though, I didn't trust him to make sound decisions. Sure enough, when he stumbled into the hotel room with a bottle of whiskey in hand. 

"Oh God," I sighed, rushing to him before he fell. "What the hell were you thinking, Liam?" 

He mumbled incoherently, putting all his weight on me. I took breathed through the nausea that the intense smell of alcohol was caused me, trying to get Liam to move.

"Come on, lets get you to the sofa," I said. 

"Everyone... dies." 

"Yes, babe... That's a fact," I replied, doing my best to drag him. "Cooperate Liam, you're too strong and I'm too weak to carry you."

He groaned, removing the arm that was over my shoulders and stumbling onto the floor. "Just let me sleep. I don't need you."

I took a step back, the words hurting as if I'd been slapped. Reminding myself that he was drunk and he didn't mean what he said, I covered him up with one of the bed sheets and took off his shoes. 

"It'll be okay," I whispered. "I love you."

I brushed my teeth and changed into my sweatpants before sitting on the sofa that rested next to the window. The lights of the city sparkled, a beautiful distraction after the hectic day we'd had. I was sure Liam would come back from this, I just didn't know what to do for him. 

It was hard to see him so torn apart when he was usually the one holding it together. 

The funeral would be soon and I wasn't sure what would happen there or how we would even face his mother. My mom was also a bit difficult but, as crazy as it was, I knew that it would be much easier for my mom to come around than his. I gave my mother reasons to not trust me, I hurt her. 

His parents just didn't agree with his choice of girlfriend so they left him behind.

They'd hurt him, so much.

I had to help him.

*****

A/N: Drunk men. Ugh.
& Liam is a mess. Can't imagine what it's like losing a parent without being able to mend the relationship with them... Must be hard.

As always, thanks for reading!

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-Luz❤

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