I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away

But baby, I just need one good one to stay

-A Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

DELILAH

I looked at Liam; his skin was sweaty and he looked like hell. He'd been running a fever the whole night and even then, he was ready to go to work. I watched him as he struggled to even get dressed. Not only that, but Adrian was also sick, both of them had come down with a severe cold and fever.

"Babe, stay home," I asked him again as I ran my fingers through Adrian's hair. He was sleeping on our bed since midnight after he waking up with a headache.

"Gotta work, Lilah," he said.

"Chris can handle it, Liam. Besides, you'll only get him sick. You need to rest in order to get better."

Liam gave me a small glare, one that he immediately changed when he started coughing again. He always did get so stubborn when he got sick. When he didn't stop coughing I stood up, took his hands in mine, and dragged him over to the sofa. Liam groaned as protest but was too tired to do much else.

"You are going to lay down and rest," I said with a raised eyebrow. "No arguments."

"I have to work," he mumbled.

"Nope."

"Delilah I-"

"I'll text Chris. Now go to sleep."

His eyes were closed before I even left the bedroom.

I had let Jo know that Adrian was sick and she was very understanding in letting me stay home to nurse him back to health. I would be caring for the both of them while they were sick, though I knew Liam would be a challenge. 

He never liked anyone taking care of him but I wanted to do just that. Once again I found myself in the kitchen, putting my best efforts into a homemade chicken soup.

When we were younger and I'd get sick, Liam used to move mountains just to get me to feel better. During my early pregnancy, morning sickness had me lying in bed all day and Liam would do his best to cook whatever I could tolerate. It wasn't until after the sixteenth week that I could finally eat.

Liam eventually appeared, looking crappy as hell and still, I pressed a kiss on his cheek. He gave me a small smile. "How are you feeling?" I asked him, running my fingers through his hair.

"Not good. Adrian is still sleeping. Need help?"

I shook my head no. "Go rest," I said.

He listened and went back to the bedroom. As I was finishing up, a knock on the door interrupted me. I frowned; we weren't expecting anyone, and the person I saw behind the door wasn't one I would ever be happy to see.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Carissa.

She shrugged, walking past me even while I stood by the door.

"I went to the shop and Chris told me that Liam and Adrian were sick. Drove by to help out with what I could."

I gaped at her. Who the hell did she think she was?

"I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone asked for your help."

"Have you made Adrian his green tea? He loves it when he's sick."

First shot fired. 

"No, I haven't. He's been sleeping all day."

She smirked and there was nothing nice about it. Like it was her house, she started digging through the pantry, looking for the tea. She found it and boiled water, merely glancing at the chicken soup that I had made. I was too surprised to react.

"You know that Liam doesn't really like chicken soup, right?"

Second shot, straight to the chest.

I ignored her remark. I was not going to break down in front of her. She was trying to humiliate me, trying to make me feel less than I was. Carissa was acting like a total bitch, taking the opportunity to rub in my face the things that I had yet to learn. I wouldn't allow it.

"I think you should go," I said in an even tone.

"Let me help you out, Delilah. You look like you need it."

"I don't."

"Oh really?" Carissa raised an eyebrow, taunting me. "Do you even know what medicine Liam takes when he's like this? Hell, do you even realize that he likes to be left alone when he's sick?" I opened my mouth to reply but wasn't able to before the next hurtful words left hers. "You don't, because you haven't been around. You know nothing about them and then come here and try to push me away. I won't have that. We were like a family before you came back, Delilah. It's been months and you still haven't learned these basic things about them and I'm pretty sure you never will."

Carissa poured tea in two cups and began walking towards the bedroom. "No matter what you do, you're just not cut out for this, Delilah. You just need to admit it."

I didn't want her words to get to me, but a tear escaped. Her words cut deep, the last part the final shot to my gut left me feeling like I was suffocating. I heard the door close behind her as she entered Liam's bedroom, the bedroom we were now sharing, as if it was her own. As soon as I knew it was safe, I turned off the stove and went into the laundry room, sitting on the floor.

I could have followed behind her and stopped her if I wanted to, but instead I found myself thinking over everything she'd said.

"She's not right," I told myself.

All the effort I'd put into getting my family back couldn't have been for nothing, not when I was putting my heart into every single thing that I did. Still, it felt like she was right. I barged into their lives ruining hers in the process. It hadn't been my intention, but it was too late to change that now.

Maybe about fifteen minutes passed when I heard footsteps once again, and Adrian's laugh from the other side of the house. My heart shattered. . I didn't let myself cry, holding my emotions in. I felt like I was drowning in them. I was angry, sad... so damn frustrated at the thought that I would never be good enough.

Liam's voice was loud for a moment though I couldn't really catch what he said. 

Not even five minutes later I heard the front door open and close. I stood up, held myself together before going back into the kitchen and taking a drink of water.

Liam and Adrian were sick and I didn't want either of them worrying about me.

I walked to the bedroom quietly, opening the door with caution. Liam was sitting on the bed with his arm around Adrian, who held the tea cup that Carissa had given him. Liam's sat on the nightstand next to him. He probably had finished it as soon as it was in his hands.

"How are you feeling?" I asked them, sitting on the bed.

Liam narrowed his eyes on me. His hand cupped my cheek, stroking it softly as I let out a shaky breath. "What's wrong?" He asked me, his voice sounding concerned despite his illness.

I was tempted to tell him, but stopped myself.

"Nothing," I replied with a small smile. I looked down, unable to meet his gaze for fear that my facade would fall apart. "Looks like Carissa's visit helped you two," I said.

"Maybe it helped Adrian," Liam said. 

I nodded, not wanting to say that it probably helped him as well. He could see right through me though, my acting meaningless as he looked into my eyes. 

"I, uh... You probably don't want some, but I've put together chicken soup for you two," I said, annoyed at how shy I sounded. 

"Of course, Lilah," he said with another smile. 

"Really?" I asked, my voice breaking at the end. 

"Yeah, mom. I'm getting a little bit hungry," Adrian said taking a sip of the tea.

I stood up, taking the cup that rested on the night stand. To my surprise, it was full.

"You didn't drink it?" I asked Liam. He shook his head.

"Why would I? You've been working on the soup since morning."

His words soothed me. I leaned down, kissing his cheek before heating the soup back up. 

Both Liam and Adrian ate while I could barely manage a spoonful or two down. I was sad and disappointed at what happened, my mind now questioning everything. Maybe she did know them better. I had no doubt that I wanted to be with them, but Carissa's words had been hurtful. It was obvious to me that she waited for Liam not to be around for her to take out her gloves, hit me where it hurt the most. As much as I wanted to tell Liam, I was afraid he wouldn't believe me. He had this image of Carissa, one that I didn't know would ever change.

They went to bed early and I did the dishes, before sitting on the sofa, feeling the need to clear my mind for a bit. I picked up my phone, scrolling through the contacts, unsure what to do.

I was never good at asking for help when I felt overwhelmed; that had been my mistake before. Now that I desperately needed it, it was much too hard to ask for it.

I was thankful to Jo from the minute she gave me the job, but at that precise moment, when my phone began to ring and her name lit up the screen, I was thankful for her.

"Hey, girl. Ugh, are you coming back tomorrow? I can't without you... You keep the place sane. How are those boys of yours? Still sick?"

"A little," I replied.

Jo stayed quiet for a moment and I heard her shuffling papers in the background. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Carissa showed up."

"Why?"

"Chris told her Liam was sick."

"Bastard."

"It wasn't his fault," I said quietly. I sounded defeated... pathetic. 

"What did she say?" Jo asked me. 

I went on to tell her everything, by the end I was sniffling, reliving her words. I couldn't understand why her words hurt so much. Maybe a part of me believed her and I still doubted my ability to be a mother and the woman that Liam loved. 

Jo stayed on the line even during my silence, not once asking to hang up or trying to hurry me. It had been so long since I had a friend like her to listen, it felt good.

"Why are you crying?" 

I wiped away my tears, turning to see Liam who stood against the wall, even in his sickness looking like he owned the place. He crossed his arms over his chest and I was caught like a deer in the headlights. I said goodbye to Jo and hung up, not missing Liam's expectant gaze.

"What's going on?" He asked once again.

When I didn't reply, Liam shortened the distance between us, wiping away my tears. "You've been acting weird all day. What happened?"

"Did you like the chicken soup?" 

Liam's forehead creased in confusion, not understanding where the random question was coming from. Trying to avert my gaze, I looked over past his shoulder to the wall. He didn't let me. "What's going on, baby?"

I reached up, touching his forehead with the back of my head. He didn't seem to have a fever anymore and his skin wasn't clammy. Liam didn't look happy with my avoidance of the question and took my hands in his, placing them over his chest. He kept waiting...

"Am I doing okay?" I asked. "Am I getting better at being a mom? Am I... Have I improved?"

"Where is this coming from?" 

I shrugged. "I'm just wondering where I need to improve. I think I don't know you or Adrian well enough. I just... I don't want to mess up."

His gaze softened and pulled me into his arms, cradling my head with his hand while the other arm wrapped around my waist. "I'm still learning, too babe. We never stop learning when we're parents or a couple. But yes, you're doing perfect."

I thanked him with a whisper, letting the words settle deep in my chest, warming the coldness that Carissa had left behind. 

Liam didn't let me go as we walked to our bedroom and soon, I settled in his arms, feeling safe... even though the hint of guilt didn't go away.

*****

A/N: Carissa in a bit of a bitchy move there. She seems pretty pissed still, doesn't she?

& apparently, her words made Delilah feel insecure. 

Next chapter... A lot of Jo & Liam. 

Thanks for reading:)