The Raven Girl - chapter 50

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The wooden cabin was used by rangers on the moor during the summer seasons, but was left abandon during the winter months. Morgan and I often use to break in these modest cabins when we caught out by a winter storm or shower. I had taken Dante to the cabin so we could for one night be real lovers. I put Edvard out of my mind and allowed myself one last night as Dante wife. We made love while a winter storm raged across the moors. The rain and wind buffeted the wooden walls drowning out the moans and cries. I had never slept with a guy before- I guess it had something to do with the crazy voice in my head that popped up when I stuck that ring on my finger. But I was glad that I had waited for Dante and hadn’t given myself up to somebody who didn’t really care about me. In a way it made the experience a treasured memory, one that would bring me a lot of comfort in the years of loneliness to come. Dante’s lovemaking had been a brief anaesthetic. Now as I lay on the floor of the wooden cabin in his arms listening to the soothing sound of rain tinkling against the roof, I was starting to feel uneasy. Even Dante’s kissing couldn’t keep the matter of Edvard from my mind.  Nuzzled against Dante’s chest, I savoured the warmth his bare skin against my own.

‘I wonder if Edvard’s skin will feel the same?’ A sick little voice inside my head asked.

Nausea swelled up inside me and I sat bolt upright. My skin began to crawl and once again the horrifying prospect of my future came back to haunt me. I rolled off Dante, who was sound asleep, I threw on my dress and opened the cabin door. There was a small veranda outside with several steps leading down to a path. The wind had died down and the rain lightened to that funny mizzle that seemed to get everything wet. I sat on the step letting the cool air sober me up. With clarity came fear and what ifs. What happened tonight was exquisite bliss, but what would happen when Edvard got hold of me. What if Edvard’s touch would be the only touch I ever felt after tomorrow? I shuddered quietly to myself. Deep inside I knew I would fight off Edward’s advances with every fibre of my being, but the realist in my recognised the lengths Edvard would go to get his way. Blackmail and threats would become the loveless foundation of our future relationship.

Breath condensed in the cold air creating beautiful white wisps of vapour that dissolved into nothingness. That’s what would become of me. I would slip into nothingness. Raking my hands through my hair I suppressed the urge to scream. Instead I muffled a sob into my hand and shook violently.

A warm hand rested against my shoulder, “Ebony,”. I jumped off the step almost screaming. Dante stood on the veranda, his eye brows knitted together in concern. “What is the matter?” He asked perplexed.

He knew nothing. He had to know nothing. The pain was tearing me up inside. I doubled up hugging myself around the waist. I couldn’t stop crying. Dante tried to reach out but I pushed him away. This had to stop. No more. We had our fun but now we had to separate ourselves, if we didn’t Morgan would die. Perhaps I could have waited till morning light, but the numbness was eating me up inside. I couldn’t lie in Dante arms counting the minutes and seconds until the sun rose.

“What the hell is your problem!” Dante lashed out as I staggered back.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. Dante-” I cried.

Dante helplessly watched me fall apart right in front of his eyes. Pain that mirrored my own flickered across his eyes and in a strained voice he whispered.

“Ebony I love you.”

At that moment I couldn’t breathe. The tears were falling from my face

“Dante, what happened back there was a mistake,” I said, “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“No, you are lying.” Dante shook his head.

 “There are some things in life I cannot change, Dante. I wish I could, you have no idea how much I wish I could stay with you but I can’t. This has to stop.”

“That was not a mistake!”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered backing away.

Dante eyes focused on something behind me. Before I could turn cold hands clamped on my shoulders.

“My sister asked me to take her back home to the forest.” Edvard said.

Dante shook his head, “No, she is staying here.”

“You said that last time.” Edvard sighed.

There was a clicking noise then a loud bang. Dante doubled over and fell to the ground. Edvard dropped the gun to the floor. I screamed and tried to run to Dante but Edvard dragged me backwards.

“Darling, he would have never let us be together.” Edvard moaned against my neck.

I jabbed my elbow sharply into his gut, Edvard staggered backwards but quickly rebounded. As I ran to Dante, Edvard landed a heavy blow to the back of my head. Blackness engulfed me and I fell to the floor.

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