R Y D E R

How in the name of Satan did this happen?

Was it the works of some magic or something?

It still felt so surreal to him.

Why did he open his big mouth and then just say those words without thinking?

Although, now that he thought about it, he was glad that he was stupid enough to say those words.

He had asked not one, but TWO girls to live with him.

None of the request were sexual in nature, although he knew that some people might object vehemently to that statement.

(Bella didn't like wearing a bra inside the apartment. And the voice that she made when one of her married men came for a 'Cooking Lesson' would have put a lot of porn stars to shame.)

That wasn't even the worse part.

He didn't mind taking the couch. He didn't mind finding hair on the bathroom, or accidentally step onto some hair pins. Hell, he didn't even mind having to hear April have occasional phone-call with that bastard Alex.

But...

(April Hale in pajamas.

April Hale in pajamas, slapping jam into her bread.

April Hale in an oversized t-shirt.

April Hale, once, in his oversized t-shirt. Slapping jam into her bread. While humming the Star Wars theme.)

God. It's like she was determined to show him what he had been missing all these four years.

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24. is all tension supposed to be this... tense?

So.

Living with Bella had been... a different experience. She had a different sleeping schedule than me. Scratch that, she had a different sleeping schedule than most people. She went to bed when birds started chirping and only woke up when she couldn't stand how her breath smelled against her pillow.

It was not an entirely bad experience, though. Because turned out that Bella had another schedule that I could relate to. Tuesday, she would hang out with a man who had a strapping figure and blonde hair. Thursday, it would be a bearded man with a lumberjack attire. She said she lost her Wednesday man, but she was working on a cute Barista with major hipster vibe.

"That's really cool," I said, nodding as I poured granola towards my Pesto spaghetti. "At Thursdays, I only eat wheat-based food."

"I know, right? Routine is good for mental health. Ugh, you should see that Barista guy! He's so cute! He has this anchor tattoo on his forearm and he listens to Sex Pistol and pose as a nude-model for an art class on Saturdays. He ticks the all the box on 'The Ultimate Hipster Pack'."

The pesto granola tasted weirdly amazing. "I'm glad that you're fine. Although I'll be much better if we're having this conversation in a more forgiving hour. Like, maybe at 5PM instead of 2AM?"

"Aw, sorry. But Mike just got home at 1AM, so I can only come out now."

"Oh, is Mike the-"

"The blonde businessman who would bring me schoolgirl costumes, yes." She nodded. "He said he has a thing for Asians. I bet he treats me better than his wife."

"That's a really bad thing to say, Bella," I said, but then who was I to judge if I thoroughly enjoyed pineapple on my pizzas? Some people might say I was the bigger offender, here.

"I'm actually more surprised at how well you took... you know, this situation," Bella's voice took a careful note that she often used whenever she was about to break up with one of her boyfriends. "This situation with Ry-"

My face contorted into something quite resembling Nosferatu.

"Penguin," Bella was quick to fix her wording. "I mean, you can't even bear to say his name, and yet you're living with him. It's quite amazing."

"It helps that he's never really around, though."

That was actually one of the biggest mystery surrounding Him. Turned out, He had already gone back to the city for a few months already, and then rented this huge place. I didn't understand why He never attempted any contact with me. Was He scared of me? I did go full Rambo towards him the first time I saw Him with the cups, but regarding our sizes, I wouldn't have done Him irreversible damage.

"Okay, you know what? I'm going to come clean, because I'm slightly drunk and I can't stand looking at you all wide-eyed, sad and weird. I'd really rather you being wide-eyed, happy and weird." Bella took a spoonful of my Spanola and then retched immediately to the trash-bin. "Oh my God, now you're sad, weird, and lost all sense in your tongue."

"I can stomach this," I said as I chewed on my Spanola. "This is quite nice if you want to eat dinner and dessert at the same time but don't have the time or commitment to eat both."

Bella spent the rest of 59 seconds saying 'Ew' to me.

"Now that I've established how disgusted I am in your choice of food," she struck both of her palms on the marble kitchen countertop and then shuffled closer towards me. "Actually, I've known that Penguin had moved here a few months ago."

As I chewed and registered her words, I had just realized how truly filthy Spanola was. All the taste had just exploded inside my mouth and I followed Bella's step as I retched on the same trash-bin.

I guess being in denial made everything felt easier, after all. And tastier, with the case of my Spanola.

"He's here for a..." there was a considerable pause as Bella grounded her teeth. "...Job. I mean, I don't have the complete information, but I know enough that it's not the kind of job that's super safe. I guess that's why he's not contacting you."

I only stared at her, the awful aftertaste of my genius concoction still lingering inside my mouth. For once, I was annoyed that Bella was born with impeccable genetics. It would have been much easier to lash out and get mad at her if she had a less-pleasing look. Also, I didn't want to go all Rambo towards her and ruin her smooth skin with red plastic cups. How would she find married men to entertain her otherwise?

"So, all these years?" my voice came in a choke. I coughed as I tried to make myself sound steadier. "You've always known?"

She shrugged. "I'm sorry. I don't know everything. But once in a while, he will check in, yeah."

I never expected this. I never expected to be intensely angry at two persons at the same time. It was such an ugly feeling, and it was very draining, too. I was already breathless as I was thinking about it.

"You know I'm so ready to hit you with a barrage of cups right now."

"I know. I think Audra just posted 'Crazy Chick Outrage!' on youtube on her second account. Crazy views. You should start thinking on sponsorship. BUT!" she ran towards my room and then got me one of my Teddy Bear, and then shoved it towards me. "I'm well prepared."

The Teddy Bear #21 was notoriously good at making me feel better more than anything else. But at this point, even having the Queen of England coming onto me and personally reprimand me wouldn't hinder me from doing this:

Shoving a spoonful of Spanola right into Bella's mouth.

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In the end, I only managed to really calm down after Bella finished my bowl of failed experiment of food. She was in the middle of brushing her teeth when I heard the door rattled.

I had already well-hidden inside the curtains when I saw That Guy shuffled into the living room. He was wearing black leather jacket and black pants, and his hair was all over the place. Not the usual 'I-Styled-This-To-Look-Messy' messy, just regularly messy. I immediately smelled the reek of cigarette as he flopped onto the sofa and then took a long sigh.

There was something about him. Something different. I always knew that He wasn't exactly a sunny guy, but right now He was being particularly dire. As if He had aged twice his years, as if He hadn't achieved everything He had wanted to achieve. I mean, according to Alex and Bella, He had found success in His passion, and if this apartment was any indication, then I guessed He had made a lot of money, too. Maybe even more than Audra.

And not to mention He had gotten even hotter than I remembered.

But now He just looked sad.

Hotter. But sadder.

"I can see your foot from under the curtains, April," His voice surprised me.

I stepped out and then sat on the chair the furthest away from him, careful to not let my eyes wander to him.

"Not asleep yet?" He asked.

I shook my head, but then I realized that at this angle, He wouldn't have been able to look at my nonverbal answer, so I spoke up. "No."

"You should fix your sleeping schedule. It's almost 3."

"You should fix your sleeping schedule. It's almost 3," I said back to Him.

From where I sat, I couldn't have a good look at His face. In fact, the only indication that told me that He was smiling was because He would tilt his head a little bit to the left.

"Are you saying that you still care about me?"

"Who-M-Me?" I stammered, because when faced with a straight question like that, I scrambled for the right answer.

"I know I fucked up, April," the voice was soft, and He still hadn't turned his face towards me. His ran His hand over His dark hair, and when he spoke again, his voice took a remorseful tone. "I wish things were better back then."

I looked around his apartment, around his furnishing, around the gray walls and expensive marbles and the wood decorations, and all I could hear was 'I did the right thing by leaving you.' He really had outdone Himself. I had just lost my job and most probably lost my place to life, but then He had made major turn-about in His life in just four years.

"I think you're doing great. You have all these expensive stuffs."

"My mother hates me."

"You have half a million fans from all over the world."

"I only sleep three hours everyday."

I gulped, half from being scared on being involved in an actual debate by THE penguin, half from being angry because he still stirred all sort of negative emotions all inside my head.

"You've gained everything you left me for," I said, and at that moment, all the moments I thought that I was okay were shattered. Because I knew that I wasn't. I had never been okay. The tiny turmoil that was vibrating inside me was just my attempt at covering the actual tsunami that had been happening in my chest every single time I thought about him. And just like natural disaster, there was nothing I could do except receive the waves when they hit me.

The back of His just stayed still as he replied to me: "The only woman I ever loved can't even say my name."

And then he turned around, and when I saw his face, the natural disaster inside my chest started to flare up again. Only this time, it was ready to swallow me whole.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

Surprise flickered in his eyes. "Whoa, I don't even need to explain word by word."

I smiled, because if there was one thing that I was proud about, it was my vast improvement at being observant. "This is April new and improved."

"Prettier, too."

As soon as he said those words, I looked up. He looked back at me with widened eyes, as though he hadn't expected himself to say those out loud. "Well, did me saying how pretty you are constitutes as 'trying something'?"

I thought about it. "No. I mean, I have oily cheeks at high school but somehow all the oil production had subsided as I went through college. I guess this contributed to my face looking slightly better."

One of His eyebrows was pulled so hard that His expression was almost comical. "That's... not actually where I was going..."

"You still have really good eyebrows," I commented. "I tried to do all the eyebrow thing, but I guess having power-brows didn't really suit my face. On me, it's more like Sin-Chan and less like Cara."

He laughed His dazzling laugh, and I had to mentally block his voice so that my heart wasn't somersaulting.

"So what were you doing at the middle of the night?" He asked.

"I made a really disgusting concoction of granola and spaghetti."

"Why on earth do you even think it's going to be a good idea? I have a stomachache just thinking about it."

"Both of them are my favorite dinner and my favorite dessert. It seemed like they would fit each other well."

He laughed again, but this time I had to put a stop at all of this madness. "Please don't... please don't laugh too much."

"Huh?"

"I just..." I mustered all of my energy to gather all of my thoughts and fight the impending Yoda-speech. "I just find it hard to... not go all kaboom," I motioned the explosion within my chest, "... when you're laughing like that. You're making me have a really hard time."

When His laugh truly stopped, I almost regretted my decision to talk so honestly about it, because I found that I'd really rather see him smile than having a poker face. He licked his lower lip, his hand on the back of his head as he spoke, "Do you know that you're wearing one of my t-shirt?"

I looked down at the Storm Trooper t-shirt. Now that I thought about it, I actually didn't remember when I ever bought this t-shirt, I just assumed that this was mine because... it had Star Wars on it?

And because it wasn't form-fitting like any of Bella's clothes.

Come to think about it, the t-shirt was really big. The hem of it reached my thighs and I had to roll the sleeves. Since I was the one who stayed in His previous room and not on the spare guest room, then it was highly possible for His clothes to mix up with mine.

"Uhm," I pointed at the t-shirt.

"Uh-huh," He nodded, and then pointed at himself. "Mine."

He took one step towards me, I took one step back.

"April," He began. "You're also making me have a really hard time."

"This is going to be the last time I wear your clothes! I swear! Don't kick me out of here because I haven't gotten any good lead on a room-for-rent yet and a lot of the roomate listings on Craiglist sound like a ploy for organ-harvesting!"

"I'm not going to kick you out."

But then, he took another step towards me, and right behind me was already the window wall. His lopsided smirk gave me all kinds of a familiar sensation of flesh-eating monster that I hated. When he put one of his hand on the wall behind me, his face was already so close that we shared the same breathing space.

"I-I'm not a scaredy-cat anymore," I said in my toughest voice. "I assaulted you with cups, remember? You can't freak me out with your tactics anymore."

He completely ignored me and reached out towards me with His other hand. I closed my eyes. I didn't even know why I needed to close my eyes. His apartment was on the highest level, and so everything was just quiet up here. It only heightened my senses and I could hear everytime He drew a breath.

But then He didn't even touch me, because He only touched the t-shirt I was wearing. He pulled it slightly towards His, the smile never faltering the whole time He was doing it.

I could feel my body getting pulled in towards him, too, and by the time my forehead reached his lips, my breathing had became so raggedy I felt like I had just done extreme HIIT exercises.

"You can keep the t-shirt," He whispered. "Looks good on you."

"You..."

"If you'll say my name, I'll give you anything in the world."

It would have been so easy.

All of my pain, all of my suffering. It could all have been gone.

"Just say my name, April."

R

Y

I looked up, and then I faced the sea of chocolate that was His eyes. I smiled weakly, because that was the only way I could smile right now, and I shook my head slowly.

"No. Not now."

As I went back to my room (His previous room), I immediately took off the t-shirt and changed into something that definitely wouldn't have been His. I decided on a My Little Pony pajamas and I had to hug a lot of Teddy Bear to slow down the beating that was my heart.

But then, every single time I closed my eyes, I still could feel the shape of his lips on my forehead...

...and an acute feeling of wanting to have his lips on mine.

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"APRIL...! THAT GUY WHO WON'T BE NAMED...!! ARE YOU TWO DONE? CAN I SIT ON THE SOFA AND WATCH SOME TV NOW?" Bella's voice rang from her room.

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author's note

Thaanks so much for reading! I personally like this chapter, I love writing about Bella and April, it's about time she has a female friend, even though the friend is kind of flawed. Now, I usually update every wednesday, but the next update will have to come a little late. Chapter 25 is going to come out in 2 WEEKS, Wednesday, 11 July 2017. The reason is because I'm writing a couple of new stories, and I need to focus on them, too. I'm also starting up April Hale webtoon again, and I need to find an illustrator for that. In the mean time, I hope that you'll patiently wait for the next update :) Radish updates is also halted a bit, sorry! Vote, comment, follow, those make me happy :)