2.3: New World, New Blood, New... Me?

I always likened certain people's faces with animals. Ryder was a cat. He was cute. He was cuddly, even though he wouldn't ever say it out loud. He pretended that he hated to be chased around, but the moment I stop, he'd be pissed that I didn't continue chasing him. He would growl at me, and then be affectionate to me. And even though sometimes his romantic gestures didn't add up to the 'Males in Media''s romantic gestures, I knew that he loved me maybe even more than I loved him.

When I saw Trisha, I saw an otter. Eager to please and fond of holding hands with others. Mindy, a blind mole. Lauren, another from the feline family, but this one a tiger instead of a cat.

And then there's Alex the Fox.

His smile hid something. He might say one thing, but his body language say another. When he looks at people, it wasn't for the sake of looking. It was observational. Needless to say he freaked me out.

Especially with him sitting right across me, charming the unicorns out of the three girls, Trisha, Mindy and Lauren.

Ryder ate his grilled pork like he was devouring a boar he hunted hunted himself. He looked menacing, and as he chewed down the meat, he occasionally stole a glance towards Alex, who feigned indifference.

"-And of course I'd say 'fuck it, let's get hammered' and then of.course they'd all say yes," Alex continued his story, waving his hands around the moony eyed Trisha. "And that's why last week happened."

"Can't believe how easy it is for you to throw money around, Alex," Lauren laughed. "And it's your own money. What the hell."

I had only come to know Lauren for a few hours, but she never looked like she wasn't trying to kill you. Except with Alex. Then again, the FoxGuy was smart and smooth. According to Dr. Lecter, the more emotional intelligence you have, the easier it is for you to make people like you. I think Alex was winning in that area.

"Hey I'm not throwing any money. I just gathered a few friends and organised who brought what. It's easy and quite cheap," Alex said.

But his smile said, "Yeah, no. I do have lots of money."

And then Alex turned towards Ryder, "I sent you an invitation last week, remember?"

"Yeah, about Ryder," Trisha said, "So you guys really know each other? Ryder's girlfriend's staying with us, so we should hang out."

"He's an old friend," Alex flashed a foxy smile towards Ryder.

I half expected Ryder to go all predatory like it was usually the case with Alex and started using his fist instead of his mouth to communicate with him. But he actually smiled back. "Yeah, we go way back. So, which one of these three ladies you're trying to score?"

The really aggressive way Ryder asked him didn't daunt Alex even a little bit. In fact, with the subtle change in his facial expression, I'd say that Alex responded in glee. "Trisha, of course."

Lauren and Mindy made a squealing sound in unison, as if to make up for Trisha's complete and utter silence.

Alex then put a hand on Trisha's shoulder. "But you're into me, right?"

Trisha answered not with sound but with rigorous nodding. "I-I guess."

"That's really sweet, now since you guys have laid your cards in the table, can we leave now?" Lauren said icily while dragging Mindy along. She didn't wait for any of us to answer before sauntering off the diner.

The table was now occupied by the four of us, who started eating in silence. Ryder still seething with anger (I believe he's just one trigger away from releasing fume from his ears), Alex and Trisha stealing glances towards each other and then smiling not-so-discreetly.

"So is this a double date now?" I asked.

"We're not-" Ryder began in an angry tone and then stopped himself. Then he shoot dagger glares towards Alex. "You're planning this, right?"

"What?"

"You know that little miss Sunshine there is going to live with April, so you get close to her so that you can fuck with our lives."

Alex snorted a laugh. "Easy there, Ryder."

Trisha's eyesbrows pulled together. "You're saying that he can't be liking me and leave it at that?"

"That's not what I meant," Ryder gritted his teeth. "I'm just saying that-"

"I don't know what your problem is, Rudy," Trisha interrupted, "but you two have just gotten here and then acting really weird." Then she turned to me. "You can't even pretend that you like your room!" then back to Ryder, "And you just met me today and already you judged that a guy can't be into me without any ulterior motive involving your girlfriend. I mean what's up with that?"

I was seeing these and then the imaginations started to go wild. College. Experiences. All gone.

I had just met my housemates and by wonderful turn of events and me being myself, I had made them hate me.

"Hey, don't twist my words," Ryder said. "I'm just saying that Alex's a shady guy, and he tends to stab you in the back if you put your guard down."

"Wow, dude. At least be a bro and don't put me down in front of the girl I like."

Whatever Alex was doing, it was working, because Ryder, as normal as he was usually, became less than himself and more like... me. This was the guy who would be giving me cues on how to act on social setting, and he became a blubbering mess in front of Alex.

I felt bad for my Precious Person, but I felt some sort of awe to Alex the Fox.

Alex and Trisha came home not long after that, but Alex made sure to turn around to us to give us a wink. "Thanks, buddy, now you just made her want me even more." He whispered to Ryder.

After he was gone, I waited five minutes and then asked Ryder about it.

"What was he thanking you about?"

"He makes me sound judgemental and crazy so that he'll look better in that girl's eyes," Ryder smacked the table, which shocked me. "I hate him so fucking much."

"And I like you so much," I said to him. "He fails to make you look bad in front of me."

"Yet he's right," Ryder shook his head. "He's a second year college kid backed by a rich family. I'm just a judgemental jackass working in a tireshop. Did you see that look the girl give to me?" he waited for my reply, but when it was obvious that I wasn't giving the expression that he wanted, he sighed. "It said 'you're a loser'. I'm a loser with no future."

"But you have your tireshop job and your grandmother's tupperware business," I tried my best helping him.

"Do you hear yourself when you talk? Tireshop job and tupperware. I'm no longer a guy you're proud to be with." He shook his head again. "Everybody's going to college and chasing dreams and some shit. Here I am trying to make both ends meet."

That information was news to me. I mean I knew that since Mr. Black was gone, Ryder's family financial condition hadn't been tip top like before. There were some money problems, and the hospital bills, and then the sudden move to greenville, and Mrs. Black hadn't been a working mom either. But I never knew that it was this bad.

"So why don't you go to college? I hear the Greenville's University of Arts is pretty good. You were a great student, too, and-"

Ryder was giving me that look like I was talking about the robots in Star Wars, which means that what I was saying was pure nonsense.

Remember what Dr. Lecter said about pissing people off, April!

"I'm... sorry," I stammered. "Sorry."

"It's ok, I'm just having a long day," Ryder sighed. "But now you're here, right? I should be thankful of that instead of getting into yet another fight."

"Yeah," I said, but then my mind started to wander to 80s teen movies, where the main guy character was cool and popular although a little bit rough on the edges. These people, my gym teacher said, would be the kind of people who had their best years on their high school.

Then the years after that never lit up for them again.

——

It was a little before 10 when Ryder dropped me off the townhouse. I had wanted to see his grandmother's house, but he was against it. "We got plenty of time for that. Now's the time for you to suck up to those girls and befriend them," had been his reasoning.

Rationally, I had to agree with him. Friendship came into fruition if we spent a lot of time together, and I was planning to not let my college years darkened by having an isolated life. Besides, according to the movies and tv-series that I watched, college people were so much open-minded and diverse. Whereas before I was a social leper in high school, right now I had the chance to start over, have a clean slate, and maybe find myself Marcy and Corrine version 2 (both of them went into Ivy schools).

The house was eerily quiet when I got there, and I was relieved. I wasn't in the state where I'd be prepared to deal with pseudo-strangers.

But as I walked to my room, I felt a foreboding feeling closing in. You know the feeling when you're a deer and then you feel like there are humans following you? You're a deer, and then there are humans, and you don't know whether these humans are photographers or hunters, so you keep alert and you step lightly in case the need to flee present itself.

It was exactly the same with my new room. I knew that there's gotta be someone inside my room. I could tell with the slight smell wafting around my door and the heavy breathing on the other side. My first instinct told me that it was the Trio, but then there was always an off-chance that it was a mask-wearing murderer.

I opened the door violently and then screamed, before even my brain had the chance to register of what was going on in front of me.

I was still screaming when I saw Trisha, Lauren, Mindy, and Alex's face, and then they screamed back at me.

The screaming match lasted about ten seconds before Alex stopped all of us with a wave of his hand. "Why are you screaming?" he half-shouted.

"Because I'm a deer and you're all either hunters or photographers!" I half-shouted just to match his volume.

Five seconds later, and I was kicking myself mentally because what had come out must sound really weird and weird was not how I wanted to be known on my first day out of my house. But then the Trio's eyebrows started to shoot up to their foreheads, and then the 'Awwws' start to begin.

Okay. So I knew that in my moments of weirdolapses, people would react accordingly. (Weirdolapses: relapses in which I lost control of what to let out and then start sounding like a total weirdo)

The most that I'd gotten were the 'what the poo are you talking about' look: huge eyes, mouth slightly pulled into either side of the face, crunched nose.

And then came the 'ignorance is bliss' look: flat face, as if I hadn't said anything remotely annoying.

And my personal favourite, 'Ryder's Face' look: a slow, emerging smile and a face that said 'You just can't help it, do you, but I adore it, you little Kitten'.

The Trio was doing 'Ryder Face' look.

Me? Oh, don't mind me. I'm just standing here with my ol 'You Know Nothing Jon Snow' *1 look.

Alex was the first to bring me any kind of explanation I needed. "See, I told you."

"You are... precious!" Trisha's smile was so big I was afraid that it would give her permanent wrinkles. "You're so precious! A deer, hunters, and photographers. Who would have thought of that?!"

"I mean, it's still weird af," Lauren said, her small eyes squinting even more as if to observe me. "But at least now we know why."

"Really? You know why I'm weird?" I asked before I could stop myself. "Sometimes even my mom thinks that she misplaced her baby with me, but then I won her heart over despite my weirdness and she started to-"

I had to stop talking as another wave of four 'Ryder Face' ensued. And now they were gushing and cooing around me. "Why didn't you tell us before? We could have been nicer to you," Trisha said as she came over to hug me. Of course I backed away because I didn't want her gems to copulate with my gems via skin-touch.

"Don't touch her without permission," Alex said. "She hates that."

"Of course she does, idiot," Lauren smacked Trisha on the head.

Thorough the whole ordeal, Mindy said almost nothing, but then she looked at me and nodded and nodded and nodded, as if she was saying something to me via telepathy and she inferred that I understood everything that she was saying. I simply nodded back because it was polite.

"So tell me, how long have you known that you have Asperger's?" Trisha's questions brought me back to reality.

What in the actual Valhalla?

"Huh?" was all I could manage. "But how did you know?"

Alex pointed a finger towards himself. "Figured I should tell them. The dinner with your boyfriend went pretty bad, and being such girly girls," he winked towards Trisha, who playfully pounded on his arm. "They started badmouthing both of you to me the moment we got home. I had to tell the truth about your condition, April. I just want you to fit in."

I just want you to fit in.

It was something that my mother, my father, Quentin, and even Ryder would have said.

Something that people who care about me would have said.

I just wasn't sure if Alex was someone who was capable of feeling a modicum of care towards me.

"Oh my God, April," Trisha still couldn't stop gushing and gushing. "Oh my God, April. I didn't know."

"Does the boyfriend have a condition, too?" Lauren asked.

"He's just got a serious case of asshole-ism," Alex tipped her off. "He's okay when we were in high school, but now he's been a little out of it. April here, however, might need a bit of 'help' from you guys, if you don't mind."

"And of course we won't mind!" Trisha said. "I mean, I've never had a friend who has autism before. I mean, I read all about it, and I watched all kinds of movies about it, but wow. You're the real deal."

For some reason, I felt like an animal you see in the zoo. A sloth, maybe. Everybody knew about sloths, but they never saw one.

"We have discussed and agreed that we're gonna protect you," Lauren said. "So no worries, April. Everything's gonna be fine."

I had decided to not tell them about the different way my brain was wired because I thought that they'd be disapproving (and because Ryder told me so). But then this was the exact opposite of what I expected. They were... supportive. They were smiling. They liked me even more when they knew that I had something.

But why?

"Um, it's okay. It's not like I'm a special case or something, my brain is just different but it still works the same." I tried speaking out, but then my voice came out weak. "I'm just here to try to live as normally as possible."

"And you would! With our helps. Oh my God, aren't you just adorable? Other people would be too insecure to say something like that. Isn't she precious?" Trisha couldn't stop talking, and then she gave me a small teddy bear. It didn't look new, and I suspected that it had been hers before she gave it to me.

"Alex mentioned that you're collecting Teddy Bear, so as a welcome gift to our new housemate, we decided to surprise you with Mrs. Lotus."

And then they were gone, still giggling and still chatty, leaving me dumbfounded with what could have been the most bizarre confession in my life. Alex was still on my doorstep, however, and he waited until they were all gone before he started talking to me.

"So do I get a 'thank you'?"

"For letting them know that I have Asperger's?"

"Believe me. In this kind of environment, it makes everything much easier," he leaned on my door. I felt guilty just having him so close to my Private Place, because it was something that would make Ryder go all crazy.

"But I don't understand. Where I come from... it's not something a lot of people want to hear or know about."

"But this is not your home, Sweetie," Alex said. "This is Greenville's University of Arts. People love to be the artist here. People love underdogs. People love an anomaly. You've got a headstart and you should, you know, use it to your advantage. Live a livelier live than your precious life."

Four of my fingers shot up. "That's a lot of 'live' in one sentence."

"Now, see?" Alex tapped the bridge of my nose, and it brought my whole body shivers that I had to jump away from him. "That's the kind of observations that these artists would love to hear. Instead of being a freak, you're a quirky girl. You know, like Zoe Deschanel. Jennifer Lawrence. The kind of girls who'd say the wrong things and trip over something and still maintain to be cute. It helps a lot that you're skinny and pretty, too."

What... in the stars... is happening...?!

"But... I.... But... understand... not..." I tried to form words and failed. Even my mind stopped working indefinitely. "What?"

Alex smiled again and this time, his green eyes glinted mischievously. "Sleep tight, April. The girls are planning to introduce you around tomorrow."

"But.. I... people... no...." At this point, I should have just stop trying, honestly. "What?"

Alex then violated the first rule of being friends with me and then leaned close to my ear. "Just be your wonderful, socially-challenged self, and they'll love you."

Honestly, ten minutes after he was gone, and I was still hyperventilating and trying to calm myself down. The university was daunting, but with the Trio's reactions, and Alex's promise (promise?), the university morphed into something daunting and weird.

Maybe even weirder than I am.

-

That night, I dreamed a wonderful dream. You know the people who were late-bloomers in high school? The people you wouldn't even look at because they were wallflowers who didn't matter and who didn't shine bright enough during their puberty? They all grew up just fine, got great jobs, and found communities that don't slight them like their mean high-school friends did.

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AN:

 I feel like my writing's rusty, but I hope that you start to get what kind of plot this story is. Ryder's falling behind and April's getting her time to shine. Whoo. This will bring new, interesting dynamics to them.