|35| Love, But Not In Love

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Author's Note-

Please don't hate me for this.

• • • • • • • • • •

Brooke's POV

Mya 👯‍♀️
Are sleeping at the dorms
tonight?

Brooke
Why?
Miss me?

Mya 👯‍♀️
No. I was thinking of renting
out your bed.

Brooke
Yep.
Def. sounds like you miss me.

Mya 👯‍♀️
Okay. Okay.
Maybe a little.
👉🏻👈🏻
That much.

Brooke
Yeah. Sure. 😜
How bout I tell my two kids
that I'm spending the night with
you & we can have a best friend's
night?

Mya 👯‍♀️
Two kids?

Brooke
Cayden & Cayleigh

Mya 👯‍♀️
Lol 😂
Sounds like a plan

Brooke
K!
See you tonight.
✌🏽✌🏽

"Who you texting," Jake asked.

Jake and I were both on our way into the dinning hall. Him to eat lunch with the guys and me to, as of one second ago, tell Cayden my new plans for the night.

In the past month and a half that Cayden and I have been together, I've spent all of zero days in my dorm room. Which I'm not complaining about of course because at Cayden's house, the bed is a billion times softer, I can watch actual tv, and I get the pleasure of seeing two of my most favorite people in the world on a daily.

I still practically live out of my overnight bag, which Cayden always feels a need to make a comment on, but it's because I just don't want to make myself feel too welcomed. You know?

I mean, he's all lovey dovey now and doesn't even hint that he wants me to leave when the day ends. But honestly, I think we're both still in the honeymoon phase.

And what if one day he feels like he wants his own space? I don't want him to have to feel guilty about wanting me to get out of the house he pays for to live in. So I try to take up as little space as possible.

    "It's Mya, Mom," I teased.

    "Jesus! It was just a question," he responded and shoved me away.

    "Let me ask you just a question then." He wagged his eyebrows at me, telling me to go on. "When are you gonna drop the whole 'I hate Cayden's guts' act?"

    "It's not an act. I really do hate his guts right now," he deadpanned. "More so because you've asked me that question every five seconds for the past two weeks."

    "It's because I want you guys to make up. I honestly think you guys are fighting for a stupid reason. And I hate it even more that, once again, you two are fighting because of me."

    "Both of those fights were his fault, though. I have every right to be upset with him over what he said and, in this case, didn't say." He stopped walking and turned to face me. "And I don't think this one's for a stupid reason. He literally just let that asshole talk shit about you to his face."

    "And like I've told you before, he was going to say something to him, you just beat him to it."

    "I shouldn't have been able to 'beat him to it' in the first place, though," he semi-yelled. "And still, he could have said something immediately after I did."

    I threw my hands up in surrender. "Okay. Okay. You don't have to bite my head off. I get it."

    He let out a loud breath. "Sorry. I'm only acting this way because I love you. You're like the other sister I never wanted."

"Fuck you," I laughed. "You know you wouldn't be able to live without Iwa and I."

"Un-fucking-fortunately that's the truth."

I took a step towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He, in turn, wrapped his arms around my neck. "And I love you, too," I spoke into his chest. "Even if you can be an overprotective asshole brother sometimes."

I could feel someone's gaze burning into my back. I didn't have to turn around and scan the tables to realize who the stare belonged to. I already knew.

I broke the connection between Jake and I before the other overprotective asshole in my life came and did it for us. Just as I turned around, my guess to who was watching us was confirmed when I locked eyes with my very handsome, yet easily jealous boyfriend staring right at me with a disapproving look on his face.

He was sitting all the way on the other side of the room with Theo and his other teammates, deep in the corner where they usually sat. I made my way there as Jake left to stand in line to grab his food.

When I got to him, I immediately bent down and dropped a kiss on his lips before saying anything. No 'hi'. No 'how's your day so far'. Not even a 'your burger looks delicious'. The best way to turn Cayden's mood around is distracting him with kisses. Just ask Cayleigh. She does the same thing.

Although, I don't recommend anyone else besides his family members testing out my theory unless they want their lips slapped off of their faces.

    We broke apart when I heard a couple of the guys start whistling. "Hi," I smiled.

"Hi," he replied back. Bad mood miraculously gone, just like I said.

"Soooo," I dragged out, knowing that he was going to fight me on what I was going to say next. "I'm gonna stay at the dorms tonight."

"Why," he questioned in a slightly angry tone. His bad mood un-miraculously back.

"I'm gonna hang out with Mya. We haven't spent time with each other, just us two, in a while."

Through the corner of my eye, I saw Theo flinch a little at my words. Did Mya also have to this same little argument with him like how I'm having to do so with Cayden?

"Okay," he said, still with an attitude. "But I don't see why you have to sleep over? Why can't you guys hang out and I pick you up when you guys are done?"

"Well, most likely because I don't know when I'm going to be done. We could be done at 3:00 in the morning for all I know. I wouldn't want you to wake up Cayleigh by putting her in the car at that time."

"And what exactly do you think you're going to be doing at 2:59 in the morning that you're going to be done at 3:00? What are your guys plans anyways?"

"Well, right now it's exactly 12:03. And at 12:04, I was planning on telling you that I'm a big girl who pays her own bills so I can do whatever the hell I want and that you should really watch that attitude."

I rolled my eyes at him. I knew he wasn't going to be happy about me sleeping out. But I didn't know he was going to be a total fucking jackass.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you what my whereabouts were going to be for the night," I explained. "I gotta go. I'm going to be late for work." And I turned and walked away.

I made it as far as outside the door before one of my arms was caught and I was turned and pulled back into a familiar scented body. "I'm sorry, baby."

I ran my hands up and down his front under his shirt. "It's okay," I whispered looking up at him. "I wanna come back to your place tonight, too. I just don't want Cayleigh's sleep to be interrupted just so you can come and pick me up."

"How about you take the car with you, that way you have a ride back to the house?"

"No. What if you have an emergency? You'd be stuck without a car." I stopped running my hands on his skin and wrapped them around his hips. Leaning back, I gave him my best puppy dog look. "It's just for the night."

"Fine," he gave in. "But when you come back tomorrow, you're unpacking that bag of yours and putting all your things in our dresser."

I teasingly rolled my eyes at him. "I gueeesss! I didn't realize we were making deals here."

    "Well, now you know." He placed a quick kiss on my lips, then quickly turned me around and slapped my ass. "You better get going. You're gonna be late for work," he mimicked me in a girly voice.

    I turned around and flicked him off. Right when I was about to tell him to fuck off and that I don't sound like that, I saw Jake over his shoulder heading in his direction.

    "Jake, try not to be to hard on him. I kinda like having him around," I yelled around Cayden.

Cayden made a confused expression then turned around to see what I was talking about. When he saw Jake standing right behind him, his confused face turned into a nervous one. He looked like a little boy about to get busted by his teacher.

I laughed at the scene. "Bye, guys!"

• • • • • • • • • •

Cayden's POV

    "We needa talk," Jake told me as soon as Brooke walked away from us.

I'm not going to lie. I've been pretty much dreading this conversation with him.

Brooke's been telling me all week to talk to Jake about what happened at the party and honestly, I've been purposely ignoring her requests. I'd tell her that guys aren't like girls. We don't have to talk about our feelings to get over something. We just wake up one day and we do.

Now that may or may not be bullshit, depending on the individuals. But she hasn't called me out on it yet.

And it's not that I'm afraid of Jake or that I don't want to make up with him that I'm not putting in the effort to reach out to him. It's because I don't know how he's going to react. For some reason, he always gets so sensitive when it comes to Brooke. And I don't get why. The only conclusion I keep coming to is that he has feelings for her. And that I have a problem with.

BECAUSE SHE'S FUCKING MINE!

Brooke says they both don't see each other as more than just as siblings. Kind of like mine and Theo's friendship. But how can the two of them have the same type of friendship as both of us? The two of us has known each other practically our whole lives. Our brotherly bond grew over the 16 years that we've been friends.

    The two of them have been friends for what? All of three months? How could they possibly already see each other in that light?

    I confidently stared at him for a long second, showing him that his whole intimidation stance wasn't working on me. "Are you breaking up with me," I smirked at him.

    "Real funny," he responded expressionlessly. After a minute or two of us staring each other down, I decided to walk away from him and to an empty table under a tree.

    Shit. I wasn't about to have a standoff with him in the hot ass sun over my girl.

    I watched him from the table, watch me back. He began to shake his head at my actions. For a second, I thought he was going to turn around and walk back into the dinning hall. But he didn't. He just stood there, eying me down.

    Finally, he began to march towards me. He was clearly pissed off. I could even see the steam coming out of his ears.

    "Look," he angrily told me. "The only reason I'm talking to your ass right now is because of Brooke. Because it's hurting her knowing that the two of us are fighting over her."

    "Are we fighting over her, Jake? Because let me just be the first to say that she isn't yours to fight over?"

    "What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Are you trynna tell me that I ain't allowed to get into fights that involve Brooke. Especially if it's to defend her?"

    "No. That's not what I'm saying at all. If you're fighting for her, I'm fine with that. But if you're fighting over her, that I'm not okay with."

"Okay," he replied confusingly. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about or what you're trying to imply. But since you don't have the balls to say what the fuck you really want to, I'll show you how the fuck it's done." He sat down on the opposite side of me. "I didn't appreciate how you just let Aaron talk shit about Brooke. We both know that if the tables were turned, Brooke would've done something. Fuck, she probably would've slapped the shit outta the person who was talking about you."

    "And yeah," he continued, "she told me you were gonna say something to him. But did you. No. You didn't. Not even til this very fucking point. Am I right?" He was. "Don't answer that. Cuz I already know the answer. And another thing..."

    I began to tune him out. He was right. He was right about everything. Right about not standing up for Brooke in that moment. Right about Brooke doing something to defend me if she needed to, regardless of if someone beat her to the punch or not. Right about still not saying anything to Aaron. Right about it all.

    "Im sorry," I cut him off.

    "What?"

    "I'm sorry. You're right. I'm not being a very good boyfriend to her," I truthfully admitted. "But I promise you, I'm gonna try and do better from here on out." Fuck, I felt like I was talking to her dad.

    Jake's face began to relax. I must have said the exact thing that he's been waiting to hear from me these past couple of weeks, because as of late, every time I saw him, he always had a pissed off look on.

    "Good," he nodded his head. "That's all I needed to hear."

    He stood up from the table and was about to turn and walk back into the dinning hall. But at the last second, he stopped.

     "Brooke told me that you may think there's something going on between the two of us. And thanks to your little implication earlier, now I know it's true." I didn't respond to him. "Imma tell you straight up right now that there isn't. I do love her. That I'll admit to that. But I don't love her like that."

He sat back down on his seat. "You see in Hawai'i, we're all raised to be family oriented. That shit you see on social media, family over everything, ain't just a hashtag to us. It's our way of life. It's our meaning of life. Our family means fucking everything to us. So being away from them is so fucking hard. Coming to school here these past three years, has been the biggest struggle that I've ever had to endure. Do you know how many times I wanted to transfer back home? Too many to count. Do you know how hard it is for me to leave Hawai'i when it's time for me to fly back here? Too fucking hard. My sister and I, we're close as fuck. I can't even tell you how much I hated not being there for her throughout her pregnancy, not to mention being there for the birth of my Godson. It fucking sucks, bro. But DVU is where I have to be to better myself. And not to mention you guys are here. So that's why I stay."

He paused for a second, giving me a moment to grasp onto the knowledge of their culture before going on. "But this year, wasn't as hard for me as the last two were. And that's all because of Brooke. She gives me those same familiar feelings that I feel when I'm with my family back home. And I do the same for her. That's why we're so close. Because we both remind each other of the comfort that we get in Hawai'i."

I nodded my head at him. "I get it, bro," I answered. And I did. Now I see why and how those two became so close in such little amount of time. "I'm sorry for accusing you of something that wasn't even happening."

"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "But best believe, bro, just because I'm not your competition, doesn't mean there's not someone else out there who isn't. Brooke's a great person. There's no one out there who could even compare to her. So if I were you, I'd do more than just try better. I'd try my fucking hardest and best!"

I couldn't argue with him there.

"You love her, don't you," he asked out of nowhere.

Even though his question caught me off guard, I didn't have to even think about it. I already knew the answer. I've known it for a while now. The question was, how did he know? And if he knew, did Brooke?

God, I hope so!

"Yes," I humbly responded.

"Did you tell her yet?"

"Why? You don't think it's too early for that?"

He began to laugh. "Don't ask me. I'm the last person you should ask about relationships."

I began to look off into the scenery behind him. It's a good thing I didn't tell her yet, just in case it was too early. Maybe I should ask Theo. He seems to have the whole being in a relationship thing on lock.

"But what I can tell you is," he spoke, breaking me out of my daze. "I really think she loves you, too."

• • • • • • • • • •

Brooke's POV

    I didn't realize how much I needed this night out with Mya until it ended. It felt so good spending one on one time with her without any interruptions. And yes, if anyone was wondering, I am referring to our boyfriends as interruptions.

I did call Cayleigh right before bedtime to tell her good night. And I did share my location with Cayden the whole time we were out just so he didn't have to worry about where I was. But other than that, my night was solely dedicated to whatever Mya had planned for us.

Just like our last GNO, we opted for dinner and a movie. Nothing to crazy. We're simple girls! Instead this time, we killed two birds with one stone by eating dinner at the movie theaters.

Brooke's PSA of the Day: Regal Theater's chicken tenders are the best! Quote me on that.

Tonight, we watched Nobody's Fool. It was a good movie. I liked it. It was pretty sexual but also super hilarious. The main character was kind of irritating at times. But she had her reasons. I guess.

Mya and I just got back to the dorm room and were currently getting ready for bed.

"I swear, this is the last party I'm going to for the rest of the year," I told her. "Are you over going to those things, too?"

Even though the Championship Game was in the beginning of last month, Theo and Jake's frat was going to be hosting a huge party celebrating the team's big win. As much as I'm tired of attending these parties, I know this one is important to Cayden. That's why I didn't groan like I usually do when he told me about it.

"Oh, hell yeah," she exclaimed while putting on her pajamas.

"What are you planning on wearing to this shindig?"

"Umm," she said hesitantly. "I'm actually not really obligated to go to it."

"Really," I shouted. "What'd you do to convince Theo to agree to that?" She shrugged at me and let out a nervous laugh. "No. Really! What'd you do? I wanna try and see if it'll work on Cayden."

She stopped what she was doing and looked at me while biting her lip. "I, umm, I broke up with him."

"Yep. That'll definitely do the trick," I instantly replied without thinking.

Wtf? Why did I just say that?

    It probably was because break ups make me awkward as hell. Especially if it's a break up between a couple who I'm extremely close to. And unfortunately, Theo and Mya just happen to fall under that category.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I don't know why I just said that. Are you okay?"

She started to laugh. "You don't have to be sorry. And yes. I'm fine."

"What happened? Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

    Because I can't for the life of me come to the conclusion on why those two would ever break up. I've never even seen the two of them raise their voices at each other, let alone get into a full blown argument to the point of ending their relationship.

    "No. We didn't get into a fight. It's nothing like that. And it was a mutual decision." She sat on my bed and patted the spot next to her. At her request, I sat beside her. "If I tell you something, do you promise not to judge me on it?"

    "I'd never judge you

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