Today is the day Mickey is coming into town, and my mom has decided she needs to make an appearance. She drove into town and guilt-tripped me into seeing her and the new husband. They had a destination wedding in Hawaii last month, but never technically invited me or even offered to help me pay for a ticket to be there. Not that I wanted to go anyway. 

Now that their extended honeymoon was over, she wanted a chance to relive it by telling me all about it. I didn't care. I wanted Mickey, and I wanted to be alone with him as soon as possible. But she wouldn't be my mom if she wasn't always trying to ruin something.

Mickey told me not to worry about picking him up because he planned to rent a car while he was in town. I told him he could borrow mine, but he declined. Probably because it's a piece of shit and he would be embarrassed to be seen in it again. I really don't blame him, I'm just tired of waiting.

I'm attempting to preoccupy myself with cleaning my kitchen when mom calls. "Hi, mom."

"Hello, my pretty Penny. We're heading your way now."

"Great. Oh, uh..." I need to tell her, but I haven't even told him yet. "My... my boyfriend is going to be here." I brace for the series of questions she will undoubtedly throw my way.

"You have a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Recently, mom. He doesn't live here, he lives in California."

"And he's your boyfriend?"

"Yes, mom. It's a long-distance ... situation." I'm getting more frustrated, but I know she'll get mad if I show it, and my mother is a tyrant when she is mad.

"Is he nice?"

"Yes, he's very nice." I would say that she would like him, but she doesn't like anyone if they're a legitimately good person. Either that or she will find a way to make him hate me. That thought makes me nervous. Another call beeps in. "Mom, I have to go. He's calling."

"Okay, sweetie. We will see you in ten."

I switch to Mickey, my smile returning. "Hi! Did you make it?"

"Yes, just landed. I'm going to go pick up the car then GPS says I should be there in 35 minutes."

"Okay, good. I can't wait to see you!"

"I can't either," I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey, um ..." I don't want to tell him. "My mom called and invited herself over last minute."

"Mother dearest? Okay," he says laughingly.

"She does this," I sigh. "She'll be here soon, so she'll probably be sick of me by the time you arrive."

"Oh, stop. It'll be fine. I'm excited to meet her."

"Yeah? We'll see about that."

♡♡♡

I sit on one of my two chairs while mom and the step-dad take up the couch. Mom blabs on and on about the new business they're planning. It's an app for managing multiple somethings for some reason. Apparently, the new step-dad is a tech guru that has done fairly well for himself -- hence mom's attraction -- but I don't care about any of it. I try to pay attention, but keep catching myself looking towards the door every few seconds, hoping to see Mickey's shadow.

"It doesn't feel like work for us." I snap back into the conversation just in time to see mom lace her fingers together with the step-dad's. Ew. "It's fun." I don't know what they're talking about, but I'm sure it's as gross as I imagine.

"It's more of a coding exercise than anything. That's what I really enjoy doing, you know?" step-dad says like a frat boy. I cannot get over how young he is -- he's almost the same age as Mickey. I am so not looking forward to them meeting.

I jump when I hear a knock on the door. I spring up and run over to open it and there he is. "Mickey," I say quietly. I nearly jump into his arms as I hug him. I feel him against me for the first time in months. "Hi!"

"Hi." He stands up his roller case to wrap both arms around me. I revel in his strong embrace and drink in his intoxicating scent. I've missed him so much.

We give each other as quick and chaste a kiss as we can manage. I look him in the eyes and silently communicate what I wish I could do to him instead. He grins knowingly. I invite him inside, and he wheels his suitcase over the threshold. "Mom, this is Michael," I hesitantly present him to her.

"Hi. It's very nice to meet you," he gives her his mega-watt smile and holds out his hand to shake.

"Nice to meet you too," she says, taking his hand. "He's handsome," she mouths to me with a surprised expression, and I smile proudly.

The step-dad looks at him suspiciously as he shakes his hand. "You look familiar," he says. I feel a twinge of dread. Surely he wouldn't be able to recognize him. My step-dad is a sleaze, but I don't know how much of an avid porn watcher he is.

"I get that a lot. I think I have one of those faces," Mickey covers with a casual smile.

We sit down in the chairs while mom and the step-dad sit back on the couch. "So how long have you two been together?" my mom asks.

Mickey chuckles. "Well, I think it's been nearly four months, but Penny would say closer to two." I smile at him laughingly.

"How did you meet?"

"At the hotel," I answer.

"We ran into each other and ... kind of hit it off," Mickey says just vaguely enough. He smiles over at me. "Then I wouldn't stop calling and texting her until she gave in."

"And what do you do?" mom asks. We both hesitate.

"I'm a model and film producer," he answers truthfully.

"How California of you," she says condescendingly. It pisses me off. "Have you done any films I would have seen?" I fight my desire to laugh nervously.

"Probably not," he answers with a smile.

"You have to have been in something, I know I've seen you somewhere before," the step-dad says, and I feel my heart begin to beat nervously.

"No, I doubt it. I do smaller, independent films. Nothing that would reach this far."

"Well, you must do well for yourself, living out in LA," mom asks accusingly.

He smiles. "I do alright." Lustrous was in Forbes last year. He does more than alright.

"I know who you are!" the step-dad shouts suddenly. We both tense, hoping he is just full of shit. "You're Mickey Vale!"

My heart drops and I feel sick. Fuck.

Mickey glances at me hesitantly, but neither of us says anything.

"I knew it! That's Mickey Vale. He's a fucking porn star!"

My mom's eyes widen. She turns to me, looking furious. Shit. Here we go. "He's a porn star?" she says with added disgust in her voice. "You are dating someone who has sex with people on camera?"

"This guy is really famous," the step-dad explains excitedly. "You should see the size of him, too. I'm fucking envious, man."

Seriously? I shake my head at him in disgust. "Mom, it isn't like how you're picturing it."

"So he doesn't have sex with hundreds of women and calls it a job?"

"It's much more sterile than that. He--" she cuts in before I can finish.

"You think dating a man with hundreds of sexual partners is a good idea?"

"That's not a great way to look at it," Mickey tries and fails to defend himself.

"So this is just for fun, right?" mom asks me. "You're just trying to have a great lay so you can get it out of your system and find a real man to settle down with. Right?"

"No, mom. He's an amazing person and he makes me happy."

"There is no possible way that can work."

"Why not?"

"How are you supposed to have any trust and security with someone who is always cheating on you?"

"It isn't cheating," I say weakly.

"Having sex with other people isn't cheating? Then what is?" she asks angrily, before turning her wrath on Mickey. "This isn't something you can just do for a few years and move on. You're ruining yourself by wasting your youth being a sleaze. How do you even plan on making money after you are washed up and old?"

"I'm a producer too. I do much more than--" she cuts him off too.

"Penny is going to be a doctor. How do you explain your career to people? How is she supposed to defend being married to a porn star? And what if you have kids? Oh, god forbid. What will you tell them you do? How will you explain to them why what you do is okay, recording yourself being intimate with countless women other than your wife and mother of your children?"

She had a point. Mickey stammers, trying to find something to say back.

"I can't believe this. Out of all the stupid things you could do. Did everything you went through for Emilio teach you nothing?"

I tense at his name, and my entire world shakes. "Mom, please," I nearly beg her. I don't want Mickey to find out like this. I want to be the one to tell him. "Please ... don't."

"He doesn't even know about Emilio? What do you think that say about your relationship?" Immense guilt floods over me, and my brow tenses with the tears I've cried too many times. She shakes her head at us both. "I can't sit in a room with someone as despicable and disgusting as you," she says to Mickey. "We're leaving."

"Mom, don't go," I say weakly.

She turns back to me, glaring a hole straight through the core of my being. "After everything you've done to make your life better, you decided to find the one person just as despicable as you used to be? Grow up, Penny!"

She grabs step-dad by the hand and storms out. "Mom, please!" I nearly cry, but she is already out the door.

I close the door behind them then run my fingers into my hair and take in a shaking breath. I knew it was going to be bad, but I did not expect that. My body shakes with a mix of anger and angst. I turn back to find Mickey looking pretty pissed off.

"Thanks for defending me," Mickey says petulantly.

I glare at him. "She has a point, Mickey."

"Oh, does she?"

"We've never talked about any of this. People in relationships tend to discuss their plans for the future," I say. "What does it even mean for me to be your girlfriend? I can't ask you not to sleep with other people because that's your job, but in any other relationship, it would be a complete deal breaker."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not saying anything. I'm asking. Where is this going? Where can this possibly go?" He stares at me and crosses his arms. "If this is serious, I need to have some kind of idea about our future. I graduate in a few months. Where will we live? What am I supposed to do for work? Sit there and watch you fuck whoever they pay you to?"

"You have never had a problem with what I do before now. You're just letting your mom get into your head."

"Yeah, because she's right!"

"How is she right, Penny? She knows nothing about us!" I huff angrily. "You're letting a teen mom with three failed marriages tell you our relationship isn't good enough! Do you know how stupid that sounds?"

That hurts me more than he knows. "That's really fucking judgmental."

"And who the fuck is Emilio?" I stare at him, biting down on my lip painfully. "I'd really like to know how you expect me to pay for his fucking mistakes too."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" I shout defensively.

"I don't? Because how I see it, if you listen to your mom, you're pushing me away," he says dejectedly.

I feel sick with anger. "My life never needed to include you. I have no problem cutting you out of it."

"Penny, don't do this."

"I have to do this. I have a plan for my life, and I am working towards something better. I cannot be with someone who doesn't even have goals for his own future. You have to have some sort of ambition to eventually get out of porn and into something more ..." I trail off, beginning to regret my words.

"More what? Normal? Acceptable? This is what I do." I shake my head exasperatedly. "This is the reality, and it isn't going to change. You knew this going in. If you don't like it, I'm fucking leaving!"

I motion towards the door. "Go ahead!"

He walks over and grabs his bag. I open the door for him, refusing to look his way. "I can't believe you right now."

"Just get the fuck out," I seethe. He walks out with his suitcase and I slam the door after him.

I fume, pacing my front room before finally sitting down on my couch, replaying the whole conversation in my mind.

He was wrong. This is never what I wanted. The fighting, the drama. They were horrible distractions and the exact reason I never wanted a relationship in the first place. But he forced me into it. He convinced me we should do this. If he really wanted a future with me, he would have considered what that looked like. He hadn't, obviously, so he was wrong.

He was wrong.

Wasn't he? 

_____

A/N: I know. I'm sorry. Please leave your angry comments for Penny here.

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