Lana

Her head was pounding even before she opened her eyes she groaned. She raised her lids enough to see it was morning and to realize where she was. Shutting her eyes she had flashes of memories - Erik, Ryan's chest. Oh God! What had she done? Her stomach felt like she had eaten a lead weight.

She recognized the feeling in her gut, she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet she heaved until her entire body shook and there was nothing left but bile.

What had she done? She had known since she was twenty that she couldn't drink tequila. She didn't even order margaritas. Damn Erik! This was all his fault - his and her mother's.

Getting to her feet she splashed water on her face and glancing at her reflection, she cringed. Maybe she could get out the door and across the street without being seen. She quietly opened the door and sighed as Ryan stood across from her. He looked like he had come back from his run.

He took a sip of his coffee. "How do you feel?" She groaned, and he looked serious. "If I knew what that bastard did to you, I would have kicked his ass." She couldn't avoid cracking a slight smile. "I got you a coffee, but I'm not sure your stomach can handle it."

"Did you hear?" She cocked her head toward the bathroom.

"Yeah, I figured it was just a matter of time. That's some nasty stuff. I'm sorry. I never should have brought the shit out. That's on me."

He was blaming himself. "I was sober when I took the first shot. That's on me."

"Yeah, well, I took out the second bottle, but listen Lana. The guy didn't deserve you. You are better than him. You will get what you want someday. You'll be a mother. You're still young..."

"I know, I know. I just had dreams. You know love sucks." She felt that sadness creeping in.

"Hey Lana, I'm glad you told me. This may sound crazy considering when we met I gave you every reason to hate me, but I consider you a friend... you and Will."

"You were a jerk, but you aren't so bad Ryan Harris. I need more friends so yeah, me too. Now I'm going home to climb in bed until Saturday morning. Oh no, I'm supposed to clean for you."

"Don't worry about it."

"No. I'll send Jessie if you promise not to make her cry."

"I promise. I had enough female tears last night to last me quite a while."

Lana knew he was teasing her, and she punched his arm, which probably hurt her hand more than it did him.

"Oh, if you're looking for Will, he's in there."

He really was a good man, not only did he care for her, but he took care of Will. She had been warming up to him for a while, now she was glad it was mutual.

When she arrived home, she immediately scooped up her phone she left on the counter. She had missed calls from her mother, father, and Adam.

There was a text from Erik, sorry I wish you didn't hate me.

Did she hate him? Most of the time she did - last night she did. This morning she felt too sick to feel anything but numb.

She should have ignored the text, but replied, why would you bring a kid?

That was what set her off not that he was parking or that he had a new whore. He was playing daddy to someone else's kid, and he ruined their marriage because he didn't want a kid who wasn't his.

Lan, you never understood. I never wanted you to carry some other guy's kid inside of you.

That was always his argument, but she had been willing to adopt, yet he still refused. She replied, well I never wanted you inside anyone but me.

How many times do I have to tell you I am sorry? I know I fucked up.

She didn't reply there was no reason to. When he was apologetic she saw a glimpse of the Erik, she fell in love with. She called Jessie and asked her to clean Ryan's cottage. Lana reassured her. "I spoke to him, he promised to be nice. Really, he isn't so bad. I'd do it, but I've got a bug or something."

Climbing into bed, she only wanted to sleep and forget. When she finally stirred her belly felt better - actually hungry. She stepped out of her room and her father was there with a sympathetic look.

"Dad!"

"I tried calling you. I had the day off, so I came to play with Todd. I think he hired Will so he can golf more. How are you, honey?"

"I'm fine." She didn't want to tell her father what happened, especially that she got drunk.

"Willie let me know what happened. I talked to your mother."

"You told her I was..."

He shook his head. "No sweetie, I told her you were upset. Funny she never liked him, but now she does. She claims she just thinks you should get along. I say good riddance. He lied to you from the very beginning about the effects of the chemo he had as a kid. I know you wouldn't listen to your mother when she warned you, but he deceived you into marrying him."

"Dad, we both know I was young and stupid, I would have married him, anyway."

"Well, I don't like my girl getting hurt. I hope this new guy treats you like you deserve. I don't like that he's so much older than you."

Will Drake had never mentioned her relationship with Adam before. She felt the need to defend it. "Only nine years, we're just dating. He's down there and I'm up here, so..."

"There really isn't anything keeping you here. Your business, but for the right reasons, I bet you would give it up."

Maybe, but not until she knew she was in love with a guy willing to give her a happily ever after. She didn't know if Adam was the guy yet. She needed to call him since she missed his call. The last thing she wanted to tell him was that she spent the night drunk on Ryan's sofa.

She texted Ryan, can this be our secret? I had a bug, please?

Okay, a bug. Are you feeling better? House is clean. I was nice.

A little. Thank you.

Next, she sent a text to Adam because he would be at work, sorry wasn't feeling well last night. Had a bug, but will be fine for Saturday.

Busy tonight. Can't talk. CU Saturday.

She wasn't tired but had a headache and a float in her tube was what she needed. She hoped the pool was empty if not she'd go walk on the beach.

She walked around the back of the cottage and it was quiet. She knew Will was at work. She sighed, her brother knew she was drunk. As grateful as she was to Ryan for taking care of her and Will, it mortified her.

She knew she couldn't avoid him. He was nice to her earlier even when she had fuzzy memories of touching him. How did he have such nice pecs? He works and runs. She had seen him shirtless but didn't realize he was so hard. Adam was softer, but still in shape. Erik was all around thinner with fewer muscles. He was a beanpole.

Her eyes were shut, but she heard him come out of the house and approach. "Hey, you want a coke? The sugar and caffeine might help."

She never drank soda anymore, but one sounded amazing. He waited for her to float over to the edge and he handed it to her.

"Thanks. You're not working?"

He pointed to his wireless headset. "You feeling all right?" She nodded.

He said, "You know..." at the same time she said, "Listen." They both laughed and he motioned for her to go first.

"I'm sorry. I know I acted... well not like I should have. Can you just forget it? It wasn't me."

"I know... forgotten. I will never serve you liquor, but other than that it's forgotten. We've all had those moments, believe me."

"You know all my secrets, I deserve to hear at least one of yours."

He smiled as if thinking of a way to avoid it. When he spoke he smiled and said, "I have a secret that involves you."

Her mind raced, and she felt sour creeping into her belly. What was his secret? Did she do something worse than she remembered? Did it involve Adam?

"The first time I saw you, we were in the coffee line. I heard you talking to Oliver. I didn't know either of you. He was begging you to work, and I thought he wanted... something else." The last two words were barely audible as he looked down ashamed.

Her eyes bugged out as she gasped. "What? You thought we were..."

"Hooking up and I couldn't understand why no one else noticed your inappropriate conversation."

She started laughing. "Like anyone would do that in front of Rick! I worked for him when I was high school. When I came to clean, and you insulted me, you thought I was a whore! Who set you straight?"

"Heidi."

That made sense, but Lana always suspected there was more to his stay than he let on. "That was a misunderstanding nothing like what I told you. How about telling me why you're here?"

He shook his head and she splashed water his way. "Come on. I won't tell anyone. You can trust me."

She could tell he was thinking, probably of a way to avoid her and as if on cue his phone rang.

"Hi Al, what's up? Great, put her through... Rita!... I'm well. I'm planning on it... No, not banished..."

Lana hollered as he walked away. "I knew it! You owe me!"