After I closed the blinds on my window, I let out a scream and hurled my crutch at my desk. Pens and a small tower of books crashed to the floor, and the hard rubber on the bottom of the crutch hit the wall hard with enough to create a small dent in it. The music was loud enough that I couldn't hear what I had just done.

My body was shaking, and I couldn't get the thought of Jasper kissing me out of my head. What was he thinking? We have always been enemies to one another. Ever since he moved in, it was non-stop torment from him. Was this a new way of torturing me? If so, it has gone to far.

The thought of Evan appeared in my mind. He was the only boy I have ever kissed. And that was just last night. I know Evan and I aren't together, but how would he react? He probably be pissed and decide I'm not worth the trouble. That would suck, but I know the feeling so I'd probably get over it faster. For all I know, Jasper could have already told him. He probably even had a camera set up as proof.

I somehow managed to hobble over to my bed without falling. Just after I plopped down on my stomach, I broke down in tears. I felt so violated. The thought of him kissing me felt like I got punched in the gut.

I don't know how long I laid there, but at least twenty five songs have played. My room was pitch black. The blinds blocked out all the light from the nearby street lamps and the moon. The only small source of light came from my phone that was a couple of inches from face. Every now and then I would get a text, but I felt completely drained. My pillow was soaked with my tears, and my eyes felt like they were on fire.

I couldn't move. My entire body felt like It was made out of lead. The loud music was causing my head to ache. I wanted to turn the music off. I was all cried out, so I didn't need the music to mask my sobs.

It took all my strength to lift of my arm to grab my phone and disconnect it from my Bluetooth speakers. When the music was off, an eerie silence filled the room.

On the screen of my phone, I could see that I had a couple of text messages as well as a few missed calls. They were from Emily, probably wondering where I was. What was I supposed to tell her? I left because her asshole of a son took it upon himself to assault me? Yeah, not happening. It sounds hella awkward.

Most of the texts were from Evan. There were four, and they were spread about an hour apart.

Evan: Hope everything thing is going well. I haven't seen you on the news yet for murdering King yet.

Evan: Are you still there?

Evan: Is everything alright?

Evan: Did something happen?

My face was expressionless as I read those texts. He was worried about me. It felt as if someone had a death grip on my heart, and every second they would squeeze harder.

I don't think Jasper had told him yet, but do I want him to hear it from me? That sounds like a reasonable option, but I didn't know how to go about it. I'm not good with emotions, and I'm not sure how either one of us will react. I could just push it off. At least, until tomorrow.

Hattie: Sorry I just got home. We got into an intense game of Monopoly .

I sigh as I close my eyes. Lying to Evan wasn't something that I wanted to do, but I didn't have a choice. The phone buzzed in my hand, and I peeked one eye open to read the message.

Evan: Ah ok. I miss you.

I smiled at my phone, opening both eyes before I began to type.

Hattie: I miss you too

Suddenly, my phone rang in my hand. At first, I thought it was Emily calling, but when I glanced at the caller ID I saw that it was Evan.

I wasn't sure if I should answer. Text and talking were two completely separate things. If I were to slip up talking, I don't know how I would play it off.

The phone was still ringing, and I knew I had to make a choice. I quickly hit the answer button and placed the phone next to my ear.

"Hey," I say as I try to keep my emotions in check.

"Hey," Evan said excitingly. For my end of the phone, I could hear the smile on his face. "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

"Oh, it was on the other side of the room," I say as I squeeze my eyes shut.

"That makes sense," he said with a chuckle. "How was dinner?"

"It was fine," I say to him as the memory of eating came to mind, but I needed to divert this conversation away from me. "How's your night going?"

"My dad suckered me info working a few extra hours," he told me with a slight chuckle. "You would not believe who I just delivered three pieces of cheesecake to."

"Who?" I asked with a smile. I reached down to grab the top of my blanket and started to pull it over me.

"Mr. Thomas," he told me. My eyes widened as shock, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"The gym teacher?" I say as I regain my composure. "Looks like he finally got that stick out of his ass and let loose."

"You should have seen the look on his face when he opened the door," he told me. "Maybe I can use that as blackmail to get out of running the mile."

"I'd do it," I tell him as I pull the blanket up to my chin. "Feel free to toss my name in there too since know I also know his dirty little secret."

"No problem," he said with a chuckle. "Hey, there was something that I wanted to talk to you about."

My eyes widened in fear. Did he know about Jasper kissing me? 

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked him with a shaky voice.

Evan was silent for a moment, and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. "Never mind. I'd rather talk to you about it in the morning."

I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief, at least, until I realized that he would be outside my door in about eleven hours. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he told me. "I want this to be face to face for this conversation."

"Okay," I say softly. "Are you home now?"

"Yeah, I'm just sitting in my room debating if I want to get a shower tonight or tomorrow."

"That does sound like a struggle," I say to him. "Whenever I have to get a shower, I have to wrap my leg up like leftover Christmas ham."

Evan let out a loud laugh. "But I like leftover Christmas ham."

"Everyone likes leftover ham from any occasion," I told him. "Great, now I really want ham now."

"Well, we can pick you up some tomorrow," he told me from the other end of the phone.

"I'll hold you to that," I say with a chuckle.

"So, what are you going to going to do tonight?" 

I look up at the digital clock next to my bed to see it was almost twelve. "I kind of want to go to bed, but I also want a snack."

"Snacks sound like a good plan," he said to me. "I'll let you go then. You kind of need both hands to move around."

"Actually, I'm able to move now on one, but I'm not trying that on the stairs. I already fell down them once."

"What?" Evan asked loudly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it was the other day. I'm fine."

Evan let out a sigh of relief. "That's good. You had me worried there for a second."

I smile. I couldn't help but feel pleased about him being worried about me. I've never had that before. 

"Well, I'm sorry," I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes.

"You should be," he said with a laugh. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. I thought you were sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs with your other leg broken."

I bit my bottom lip to hold back my laugh. "I try."

"Go get you snack," he told me. "We got a busy day tomorrow."

"So bossy," I say as I push back my covers. "No snacks for you."

"Awe, you're breaking my heart," Evan said sarcastically.

My smile faltered, and the kiss with Jasper popped back into my mind. "I wouldn't do that."

"I know," he told me. "Go get some food, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

"I will," I tell him. "Goodnight, Evan."

"Goodnight, Hattie," Evan said, and then he hung up.

I let out a sigh as I push myself up from my bed. My chest was starting to hurt again, and the hunger I once felt disappeared. It sucked though. I was really in the mood for a peanut butter sandwich.

I reached over and turned on my bedside lamp. The light burned my eyes, but that feeling passed after a few seconds. Crumpled up in the corner of my bed was a hoodie, and I quickly pulled that over my head before standing up.

As I got to my feet and retrieved the crutch that I had thrown at the wall as well as the other, I looked over at the window and sighed. What was I thinking of when I handed all those notes over to Jasper? Why did I even keep them in the first place? Those notes caused me so much anxiety during school. I always hated going to my locker because every time I'd go there, there would be a new threat that was somehow worst than the last.

I shoved my phone into the front pocket of the hoodie and began to make my way towards the stairs. The rubber bottoms of the crutches echoed throughout the empty house, but I was starting to get used to it. For all I knew, this is how it will be for as long as I live here. 

The pain in my leg was starting to come back, but I really didn't care anymore. At least I was feeling something. Every step I took sent waves of pain throughout my body, and I was starting to get used to it.

Going down the stairs was getting easier, but I still used the method of sitting down and scooting onto each step. I was too tired to actually walk down them, and since Evan mentioned it earlier, the thought of falling down the stairs kept running through my mind.

By the time I've reached the downstairs and got to the kitchen, all I wanted was a drink of water. Apparently, that was too much to ask for. Just as I was about to pull a cup from the drying rack, the phone in my pocket began to ring. At first, I thought it might have been Evan calling, but we just hung up moments again. Then I thought it might have been Emily, but it was late and there was no way she would still be up at this hour.

I reached into my pocket, and all the blood drained from my face. My mother was calling, and considering how we left things earlier, this might not end up good. With a sigh, I swiped my phone and held it up to my ear.

"My baby, you answered," she gushed into the phone before I could even even answer. "I didn't think that you'd pick up."

I narrow my eyes in confusion as I listen to her talk. There was something off. "Are you drunk?"

"Yes," she flatly said as she started to slur her words. "The wine here is amazing. Not like the cheap crap we got at home."

I close my eyes and sigh. It was late, and I really didn't want to hear my mother who was clearly intoxicated tell me about her new boy again. "Go sleep it off."

"Shhh," she hissed into the phone. "It's the weekend. Weekend is for fun."

I shake my head. "Look mom, I'm tired. I need to take my pill and go to bed."

My mother let out a loud gasp. "You found my stash? I thought I hid it pretty well."

My jaw drops. "Your stash? Seriously mom, there fucking drugs in this house?"

"Language," she shouted into the phone, but then she started giggling. "Don't take the red ones or you'll regret it."

"Oh my god mom," I say as I lean against the counter for support. "I don't know where your stash is, but I'm going to find it and flush all of your pills."

"You will do no such thing."

I thought for a moment. "You're right. I think I'll just take them down to the police station. They'll take them."

"If you do that you will be grounded," she threatened, but I just laughed. 

"You won't remember this conversation, anyway," I tell here.

"Like hell I won't," she told me,  but she was an awful drunk and I've known it for years. This is how I always got things off of her that she would never agree to.

"Keep telling yourself that," I say as I hung up the phone.

Unlike my mother, I wished I could forget that conversation.