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[Chapter Ten]

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Oneirophobia – Fear of dreams

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Random murmurs broke through the strange dream I was having. However strange it was though, the noises didn't fit in. I let myself slowly wake up, but didn't open my eyes or move a muscle, trying to assess the situation without any rash movements.

"You can't just keep acting this way." I heard one voice whisper harshly. My ears felt like they were submerged in mud, because the voices were all muddled and gloopy sounding.

"I don't know what you are talking about," another voice responded harshly. I tried in vain to recognize either voice, but both were eluding my memory.

"You know exactly what I'm referring to. Why do you keep treating her this way? She confessed her love for you and you crack a joke?"

The other person made a noise of frustration, but lowered their voice even more. "She doesn't actually love me."

"So what? That's not the point. She likes you and you like her. Why are you being so difficult about all of this?" There was a noise of frustration and what sounded like someone pacing frantically. "Is it because of her sister?" the same voice said softly. "Jay, she's not Lisa. In fact, you of all people should know how she's feeling right now."

I was so confused. I couldn't figure out why the names sounded familiar and I couldn't figure out who was talking. It was like a wall in my mind blocked the memory. I knew the knowledge was there, I just had no idea how to get to it.

"That's not the problem, Day," the male voice said harshly.

"Then what is?" a British voice cut in. "'Cuz we aren't seeing it, love."

The other female voice cut back in before the male, Jay, I assumed, could form a reply. "Jaz is right. Why are you so afraid to show emotions? Ainsley isn't going to hurt you; she needs you as much as you need her."

At the mention of my name, the floodgates were open and all the information came to me at once. I remembered where I was and why, and I remembered who the voices were. Clearly Dayna and Jaz were having a talk with Jay. I didn't necessarily approve of what they were telling him though.

Just because I said I loved him when I was in a pain induced state did not make the statement completely true. I would have loved anyone getting me out of there. However, they did have a point when they said that we needed each other. No one else would ever understand what we'd been through at the hands of Lisa. Still, that didn't mean we needed to be lovely dovey and bond over the dramatic shit. I needed him, but not to lean on. I needed him because he suffered just like I did. I didn't want to be the only one out there in pain; it was nice, and selfish, to have someone else with me.

Did I care that Jay was nice to look at? No. Not really. Maybe. That wasn't the point. I didn't trust people, I couldn't trust people. The fact that Jay was nice to me didn't make it okay to trust him. People turn around and stab friends in the back all the time. I had just learned to trust in myself and no one else. But maybe, just maybe, I could help Jay out a bit. Maybe I was the only one who could draw him out of his protective shell.

Jay's angry growl broke through my musings. "I don't need anyone! I wish people would stop watching me, afraid that I'm a bomb waiting to explode. Yes, I'm messed up, but the pitying looks and whispers behind my back don't help. So thanks, but no thanks."

Before Jay could storm out of the room, I moaned lightly and moved, pretending to wake up. Clearly drawing Jay out of his shell was going to be a lot harder than I thought. Especially with him assuming people always pitied him.

"Great, you woke her up, idiot," Jaz whispered.

Jay started to argue back with her, but I said in a broken voice, "Where am I?" I blinked my eyes open slowly, letting them adjust to the bright lights.

"You don't remember?" Jay asked me worriedly. "You seemed lucid enough last time we talked."

Pretending to take a moment to think about it, I looked around the room and then quickly back to Jay, letting the pain of the memories surface in my eyes. Man I should win an Oscar for the performance I was giving right now. Although, it wasn't too hard to dredge up tears at the memory of my latest torture. "I remember," I whispered.

His eyes tightened briefly and I knew he was kicking himself on the inside for what had happened to me. It wasn't his fault though; not that he would ever believe me. I opened my mouth to tell him just that, but he held up a hand.

"Don't. It was my fault. I knew better than to make it so easy for Lisa. I'll never be able to make it up to you, but I am sorry." I opened my mouth in shock. How the heck did he know what I was thinking? He rolled his eyes and a corner of his mouth lifted up, "It was written all over your face."

I shot him a scowl, muttering ungrateful words under my breath. He thinks he can read my mind. I scoffed and looked over at Jaz and Dayna. "What's up?" I asked them.

Jaz grinned at me and jerked her thumb at Jay. "Nothing much, just having a conversation with this here fella'. How're you feeling?"

Yawning, I stretched and let a small smile lift my lips. "Much better. I don't hurt as much. Hopefully Mr. Doctor Man will let me out soon."

"It might be the drugs making you feel better," Jay commented. He held up his hands when the three of us glared at him. "What? It's true."

"That doesn't mean you need to be all negative and bring it up," Dayna scolded him. "Geez, Jay. You have the emotional capacity of a cactus sometimes." He turned to glare at her, but my sudden fit of coughing redirected all the attention to me.

"Are you okay?" Jay said worriedly, taking a step closer to. I blushed when I realized he held my hand in his. Darn hormones.

"Yes," I said hoarsely—from the coughing of course. "I'm fine."

He started to say something but was cut off by his phone ringing. Sighing in resignation, he let go of my hand and pulled out his phone. "Storm speaking." His face tightened as he clutched the phone tightly. "Yes, sir. Yes, I understand. I'll be there shortly. Understood, sir." Jay hung up the phone and looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry, I have to go meet with Faux. I wish I could stay, but..."

"It's fine," I said reassuringly. "Business is business. Besides, it's not like I can go anywhere. I'll probably still be here when you're done."

His smile was bitter as he regretfully said, "True." Glancing down at his phone he said, "Well I guess I'll be going," he looked up at me and smiled, "Don't let those two irritate you to death. I like you much better when you're alive."

"Well," I said, hiding a blush, "that might be the most romantic thing you've said to me, Mr. Storm." His neck turned a dull red color as he hastily turned to leave. He did an awkward wave before shutting the door behind him.

I turned to look at Jaz and Dayna and burst out laughing. They too were trying to hold back the laughter, but let it out when I started.

"Did you see the look on his face!" Jaz laughed. "He was the color of a tomato!"

Dayna laughed and joined in, "Yah. Haha, he's probably embarrassed for life."

I clutched my sides and gasped out, "No more! It hurts too much to laugh." Their expressions immediately sobered up, but I stuck my tongue out at them to let them know it wasn't their fault.

"So..." Dayna said awkwardly.

I grinned at her and said casually. "I appreciate your efforts to get Jay and me all chummy, but really, I don't need to be set up with him. Sure we need each other, but the whole emotional thing," I waved my hands, "yah, no."

The expression on their faces was priceless. "You overheard what we said to Jay?" Dayna finally managed to say. I beamed at her.

"You sneaky little bugger!" Jaz laughed, plopping down on the bed. "I can't believe you eavesdropped on us!" She shook her head in disbelief. "If you weren't injured I'd smack you upside the head."

Giggling wickedly, I waited for them to start their explanation. I knew it was coming soon. They wouldn't be able to let the situation pass.

"Well since you already heard everything we've said, I guess we don't need to repeat it to you," Dayna said slyly. "However, I do think it's important to point out that what Jaz and I were saying to Jay is true."

Inclining my head slightly, I smirked at them. "I agree that some of what you said is true. Look, I agree that Jay needs to be more open about his emotions, and I'm going to try to work on that with him. However, I don't think you two need to play matchmaker with us."

"Dude, why not?" Jaz asked. "You love him, he likes you; it's perfect."

"I don't—" I broke off with a frustrated groan and glared at them. "I didn't mean to say that, okay? I was in a lot of pain and just really grateful someone was there to save me."

Their expressions grew sympathetic and I could tell they were going to start asking me about the torture. No way in hell was I touching that with a ten-foot pole. That was my business and no one else's.

I shook my hands and said quickly. "That's not what is important. Yes, Jay and I need each other, but as friends only. Okay?"

"You're like the female version of Jay," Dayna said wryly. "What are you so afraid of? It's not a bad thing to like the guy. He's an awesome person and worthy of you."

But I'm not worthy of him. I smiled weakly. "That doesn't matter. I'm not going to pressure him into liking me—"

"You mean, you aren't going to bother with the emotional stuff because you don't want to be hurt either," Jaz said, clearly getting frustrated. "Man, I'd love to lock you two in a small room for days. Maybe then something productive would happen." When I started to protest she held up a hand and raised an eyebrow. "Do you, or do you not like the delectable and sexy Jay?"

A flare of jealousy rose in my chest, and I had to resist the urge to not rub my palm over my sternum. "Yes," I muttered grumpily.

"Well then what's the matter?"

They just weren't getting it at all! "It's not that simple guys! Just because I like him doesn't suddenly mean everything else is okay. We both have a lot of baggage and trust issues. In fact, we're probably the worst two people to stick together. I appreciate your efforts, but enough. It's not going to happen."

Holding their hands up, Jaz and Dayna backed away from me, exchanging a knowing look. "Fine," Dayna said. "We won't bother you with nonsense talk again."

"Unless you ask us to," Jaz added with a grin.

"I won't," I muttered, wondering what they were up to. Sure they had promised to drop it, but the look they exchange meant that they had a backup plan. Before I could close up any loopholes, the doctor walked into my room with a warm smile.

"Hello Miss Hartford. How are you feeling today?"

"A lot better than last time. My ribs still hurt a bit, but everything else feels better."

He made a noise of agreement and felt the area around my ribs. After scribbling something down on his clipboard he finished checking over my injuries. "You seem to be healing quicker than we thought, which is a good sign. Your ribs are still healing though, so you need to be careful and restrict your movement. If you keep healing at this pace, I'd say you'll be out of here by the end of the week."

I smiled at the good news and thanked the doctor. Only a few more days stuck in the hospital and then I would be...stuck at NANO. Ah hell it was better than the boring, white hospital of doom and gloom.

A nurse came in and helped me maneuver my way to the bathroom to relieve myself. Talk about embarrassing situations...I felt like I was being potty trained all over again. When that mess was over, I was helped back into bed where the doctor was waiting.

"Okay Miss Hartford, I'm going to inject some pain meds into your system. They should help with the healing process." I waved goodbye to Jaz and Dayna as the doctor injected the meds through the tubes attached to my body. My eyes grew heavy as the drugs took their toll. Maybe next time I woke up I'd be able to walk myself to the bathroom...

..."Hey little sister, did you think I forgot all about you? It's been a long time since I've seen your pretty face, dear," Lisa said to me. "It's a shame I can't see your eyes though. Oopsies!" she giggled prettily and I heard her walk slow circles around me before her footsteps grew quieter. I struggled to keep my heart rate calm even though the blindfold I was wearing was causing a cold sweat to course down my body. I hated not being able to see where she was and where I was. There was no telling what she would do.

Her voice was further away when she spoke again. "Did you remember what today is? Today is the day mum was murdered." Her breathing grew harsher, but her voice remained calm. "I thought that we should spend the day together, to...remember her."

"Please take off my blindfold, Lisa," I said calmly, hoping she wouldn't hear the quiver of fear in my voice.

She laughed and clicked her tongue. "Now where's the fun in that? You don't like the blindfold do you? Well...I'm just going to be a good sister and help you overcome that fear!"

I felt the blood drain out of my face at her words. Nothing she ever did was helpful for me. Her idea of helping me was torturing me until I begged for mercy. I clenched my fists, which were tied behind my back, and waited for her instructions.

"We're going to play a little trusting game," she taunted. "I want you to walk towards my voice, okay?" When I didn't move fast enough, one of her henchmen pushed me from behind, sending me stumbling forwards. I caught myself though and, with as much dignity as I could muster, started inching towards the devil herself.

"Come on little sister, you're getting closer!" I heard her call out, sounding further away than before. I pushed down my anger and fear and concentrated at the task before me. If I did as she asked for a long enough period of time she would get bored and give up.

My shins suddenly knocked into something, sending me tumbling to the ground. Since my arms were tied behind my back, I couldn't catch myself and fell roughly onto my right shoulder. I muffled a whimper, hoping the feeling would come back into my shoulder soon.

"Oh sorry!" Lisa cooed. "I forgot to tell you the chair was in the way. Silly me! Get up and try again, I promise I won't let you fall again." Again, I didn't move fast enough for Lisa because someone grabbed me from behind and yanked me to my feet.

Lisa continued to taunt me as I warily moved forward, sweeping a foot out in front of me to prevent me from falling over other obstacles. What I wasn't prepared for was the lash of a whip across my back. I cried out in pain and stumbled, but kept on my feet.

"The faster you get to me the faster the pain ends!" Lisa cried out, sounding even farther away. Biting the inside of my lip I sped up my process, wincing every time the whip hit my back, my legs and my arms. I was growing tired, but Lisa wouldn't relent. I walked with the bite of the whip for ages until she suddenly yelled out shrilly, "STOP!"

Fear bunched in the pit of my stomach as I waited for the next level of torture. "Very carefully, take one step forward. Make sure to place your foot in front of the other," Lisa instructed slowly.

Shaking like a leaf I did as she said, taking one step at a time as she instructed. My palms grew sweaty as I felt a soft breeze caress across my face and over my open wounds. "Stop," Lisa's voice whispered directly behind me. She reached up and untied my blindfold, instructing me to keep my eyes closed. "You can open them now," she grinned.

I did, slowly, and nearly threw up the small amount of food I had eaten that day. I was standing on a small metal beam, perched precariously over a warehouse floor. There were no supports on either side of me; one wrong move and I would fall to my death below. There was already a broken body below to show me just how far of a fall it would be.

"See," Lisa cackled, "you can trust me. I didn't let you end up like Ben down there, did I?"...

...I was curled up on the cool dirt floor, hoping my face would stop swelling so that I could at least see out of my eyes. Lisa had instructed her newest henchman to welcome me to her new location. "Happy Sweet Sixteen, little sister!" Lisa said when I was brought in. "Seth here is going to give you the best birthday welcome ever!" He had only touched my face and stomach, but I still hurt like hell after that severe beating.

"Howdy little princess," a voice cooed, making me feel gross all over. "I saw what Seth did to you," the man continued, another one of Lisa's henchman. He didn't seem to care that I was unresponsive and I heard him approach me. "You know," he whispered in my ear, making my stomach roll, "I was jealous that he was the one who got to touch you."

The man fisted his hand in my hair and jerked me up to face him. Too bad I couldn't see a thing. "Ah, your body is still beautiful even if your face is messed up. Yanking again, he forced me to my stomach and ran his hands down my sides. I tried to buck him off of me, but he laughed, delighted that I was finally fighting back. "I do like 'em feisty," he mused happily.

I let out a bloodcurdling scream, but he whacked the side of my head and forced me further into the dirt, making it nearly impossible for me to breathe. I felt hot and cold all over as he fumbled with my pants, trying to tug them off of me and restrain me at the same time. He continued to chuckle as I struggled against him, trying to dislodge his hands. One grabbed my breast painfully and I fought back the tears.

Suddenly a large crack echoed throughout the room and the man's grip on me loosened before I heard him fall sideways. He landed in the dirt next to me with a thud. "You bitch," Lisa growled, kicking me in the side. "It's your fault Mason died. Stop seducing my men because next time I won't be so forgiving. Maybe I should just let one of them have their way with you. That ought to teach you a lesson, don't you think?"...

...Lisa chuckled softly and starting playing with a metal clothes hanger by the fire. I watched as she straightened out the hanger and let part of it sit in the fire. "He killed her, but killing him wasn't good enough. There are other people out there who killed her too. We need to ruin their lives, finish