❀ chapter forty-nine | forget me not ❀

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A/N: If you read the previous chapter, ❀ chapter forty-eight | counting down ❀, more than 3 days ago please be sure to check it out again! I recently added an extra scene to the end of that chapter. 

On the plane back to Seattle, we descended into an ocean of clouds instead of salt. Endless, foggy grays and whites shrouded the sky. I'd miss the sun.

Once we landed, I remembered what Jack said, pulled up his text, and found the translation.

Ich liebe dich, Blume girl.

I love you, flower girl.

Even in English, the words looked foreign. My chest grew heavy. The only thing I wanted to do was fall back asleep against the stiff airplane seat and forget about it.

Because I loved him, too. And just like that, he'd be gone.

For the next month, as the days grew short in the dreary winter, I focused on the flower shop. With Grace gone to Las Vegas, Greta, Talia, and I went back to our old rhythm. At school, I was also back to old rhythms with Eli, Seth, and even Megan the pageant queen. But in some ways, we were different than before. Closer, somehow. More open and mature.

Jack switched over to online classes in preparation for his move, which already gave me a sense of his absence. No more Jack sleeping during English, head laying against crossed arms over his desk.

But then he did something I might've secretly hoped for but didn't expect: he asked to work at the flower shop again. After another awkward dinner with his family, Greta decided to hire him for the month.

Funny—he was only a half-decent employee when he was about to leave.

I finally taught him Flower Arranging 101, but his bouquets looked atrocious despite multiple lessons. Yeah... we were definitely better off leaving him to mop the floors and dust shelves. He updated our website again, though, and he even joined me and my dad on a flower delivery run.

During his shifts at Greta's Flores, we didn't do a lot of talking, but maybe we didn't need to. We were always aware of each other, cracking jokes with nothing but eye-rolls and scowls, communicating with gestures and stares.

I never believed in telepathy or souls, but I couldn't deny there was something linking mine and Jack's energy. But when we got too close, I felt him distance himself from me. Maybe, like me, he knew there was still a lot we hadn't discovered about this weird connection. But maybe, unlike me, it scared him.

Anyway, on to a more pressing matter: Anika still didn't have a solid place to live. Seth ended up offering for her to stay with him for a while. Eli used his family connections to help her get a job at a local grocery store. For two weeks, I didn't hear from her as she was busy working and studying for her GED. Once she passed the test, Seth offered to throw her a huge party at Eli's place to celebrate.

"You and Jack won't graduate with us, bro, we need to party now," he reasoned. And for whatever reason, she—and Jack—agreed. She didn't drink, smoke, dance, or engage in any of the usual teenage shenanigans, but she watched the commotion with curiosity. You'd think she'd feel out of place being fresh out of juvie, but she came into every new situation with a calm confidence. Maybe it was all that meditation she did.

Jack didn't seem too keen on alcohol this time either, and, unlike Anika, I could tell he was nervous being around so many people. We ended up sitting together on Eli's dock, laughing as I recounted the time we drifted away on that boat—a night Jack didn't remember well since he was so wasted.

And Penelope, from what I knew, was still in juvenile jail.

"I really think she should be charged for attempted murder," I told Anika one day after her shift. "But Jack didn't tell the detectives she pushed him off that ledge. And now what? She'll get maybe a few months in prison for car theft? What if she comes after us?"

"Perhaps the universe has willed it to be that way," Anika said.

"What?"

"Perhaps it's meant to be," she clarified. "For Penelope to serve a shorter sentence. For her to have the chance at freedom."

"Am I supposed to believe that's a good thing?"

"It'll give her a chance to repent."

"Repent?" I scoffed. "What makes you think she won't try to kill you? She's unhinged."

Anika was quick to say, "It's an act. Most things are with her. Her trial won't occur until she's eighteen. They may try her as an adult. You said she broke into your flower shop. And she stole your sister's car. That should be two years minimum. Possibly up to five."

"You're not scared?" I asked.

"Nothing scares me much anymore," Anika said, her tone wistful and nostalgic. "Every negative entity is an extension of our subconscious. We have to accept them instead of fear." She paused. Her gold eyeshadow glistened in the streetlight. "And if Penelope comes for us, it's simple. We're two against one. We kill her."

I tilted my head. "Excuse me?"

"There are many ways to commit murder without getting caught."

"Says the girl who tried to murder her uncle and ended up in juvie..."

"I was an amateur then."

"So now you're this upscale assassin?"

"No. I've just done my research."

"I'm not interested in screwing up my life. And I won't let you do the same with yours, either. Come on, you're just getting started."

Her lips curled in a teasing smile, and she laughed at the expression on my face. "I was joking, Romy."

I let out a sigh of relief. "You and that dry sarcasm, I swear. It gets to me sometimes."

Two to five years. That still didn't seem like enough for the likes of Penelope Dupont. Was I really supposed to trust the "universe" to take care of it? 

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In less than a week, Jack would be in Germany.

I felt his gradual distance from me like a heaviness in my chest. But I knew why he wasn't laughing as much with me. Saying as much. Letting go slowly was sometimes easier than doing it all at once, and I couldn't stop him. Several times while at the flower shop I'd look over at him and he'd be lost in thought, his brows furrowed. All the layers he'd shedded in the process of becoming my friend glued back onto his skin, preventing me from getting any closer. 



Today marked his last shift. He frowned as he attempted to put together a bouquet. It fell apart, the stems broken and flopping over in a colorful mess.

I thought of the shop empty with only me and Talia here. No more loud music coming from his AirPods. No more him sitting behind the counter during his breaks and writing in his journal—which he obviously never let me read. No more Jack.

I picked up a clump of broken flowers from his failed bouquet. "Is it just a coincidence you used Forget Me Nots? Are you trying to tell me something?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I... didn't know that's what they were called."

"Maybe take a few and press them into your journal. So you don't forget about me. And your atrocity of a bouquet."

"I'll never forget about you," he said quietly. The sound of his voice sent a hit of adrenaline straight into my veins just like in the beginning. "I wouldn't have started talking to anyone if it hadn't been for you."

To think I could be that important to someone else. I'd never get used to that bizarre idea. My heart beat faster, and the feeling rose and rose until it resulted in me blurting out, "I don't want you to go." 

His expression immediately shifted. "You'll be fine without me."

"I know," I murmured. I knew better than to depend on him to fill my emptiness. But he'd helped me, too. As totally dramatic as it sounded, he'd helped me see how not-empty life could actually be. 

"And I'll be fine without you, too," he said.

But the way he said it made it seem more like a hope instead of a fact. And that was when I realized... us parting ways would be harder for him than for me.

I talked about this with Psychologist #5 a.k.a. Srinidhi the other day. Maybe I no longer qualified as a "sociopath", but it wasn't like I'd go to the opposite end of the spectrum, either. Srinidhi said people experienced attachment and loss in different ways. I was a live-in-the-moment girl who'd rather enjoy things while they lasted. And I had a feeling... Jack was the complete opposite of that. Letting him go would mess me up for a while, but it would be doable. Manageable. As with everything, I'd figure it out.

The memory of our last kiss flooded my brain. And something in me decided it would be a good idea to lean in and try it again.

"Wait," he said. "What if a customer comes in?"

"Does it matter?" 

"Romy."

"Jack."

He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me away from him a little. "It'll only make it harder."

"Make what harder?"

"I don't want to hurt you when I leave."

I laughed. "Too late for that. I don't care if it hurts."

"I care... I care a lot if it hurts you."

I took a step back and crossed my arms over my chest. "So this is you essentially dumping me, huh?"

"No," he said. "I'm holding myself back."

"Why?"

"I don't want to make you feel used."

"Do you really mean that, or do you just not want to feel used?"

He shrugged and flicked one of the broken flowers.

We didn't know what we were. We hadn't even hooked up or anything—though I did notice him checking me out back at the beach in Hawai'i. Which didn't automatically mean he wanted to... you know... but still. Either way, Jack seemed like the type to take things slow. And with him, everything was so weird and new and absolutely overwhelming that I found myself not wanting to move too fast, either.

Now we'd run out of time. Now I was the quiet one, lost in my own thoughts as I stared out the glass windows into the street.

"Do you remember that place we went to?" Jack asked. "The trail under the bridge?"

I nodded.

He plucked a petal from one of the flowers. "Would you like to go there again? With me? On Saturday? Before I... before I leave."

"Sure." I grabbed his bouquet again. "This thing is bothering me. Let's fix it." But then I got distracted by our close proximity, and I stared at him instead. I let the bouquet drop, scattering blue Forget Me Nots over the counter. I forced my thoughts to pause so I could memorize every detail of this moment. Every detail of Jack. His freckles, his bushy eyebrows, his eyes that couldn't decide between brown or green. Even the mole on his chin.

I reached up and touched his hair, moving away the strands from his forehead to reveal his pink birthmark.

"It's lovely," I said.

He stared at me with an intense confusion that made me even dizzier than before. Impulsively, I reached up and kissed his birthmark.

"Why'd you do that?" he whispered.

"Sorry, too much?"

His cheeks flushed. "No... but... why?"

"You," I said.

"What about me?"

"Just you."

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A/N: Damn, what a cheesy chapter. Hope you liked it, though! I planned to add more stuff about Seth and Eli, but only writing in Romy's POV kind of limits me. So what do you think is going on between them

The next chapter of this book will be its last. 

Anyway, vote if you liked this (and vote on the other chapters if you haven't yet, that would be great!!), comment what you think, etc. 

Any silent readers... now's your time to shine! Tell me what you're feeling about this story coming to a close...

Also, what ships do you guys ship? Only Jomy? Jomy and Seli? Jack and Seth? Jack and Eli?? Romy and Eli?? Any others I'm not aware of? And who else ships the ULTIMATE ship, the ship that encompasses all other ships, Joleth, which is pretty much an epic polyamorous thing between Jack, Romy, Seth, and Eli :o 

Thanks for reading ^-^

(dedicated to checkshirts for making the lovely cover ^-^)



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