is anyone reading/has read the maze cutter? i'm desperate to talk about it with someone.

- - -

At breakfast the next day, Y/n felt sore and tired and didn't feel like running, but she knew she couldn't slack off. She did, however, notice Ben's ragged breathing.

''Hey, Ben?'' asked Y/n as she was sitting across from him. ''Are you okay?''

Ben looked up - he had dark circles around his eyes and his skin looked pale. ''I'm fine. Had a nightmare.''

Y/n pursed her lips. ''Maybe you should take the day off?'' she suggested.

''I said I'm fine,'' Ben snapped at her, causing the rest of the table to look at him. He looked around, noticing all the confused - and angry - stares being sent his way. ''Sorry. I'll go wash my face real quick.''

Y/n followed Ben with her eyes for a moment before turning back to her food. Minho, noticing her look, put a hand on her thigh. ''He'll be fine,'' he reassured, though he himself found Ben's behavior quite odd.

As Y/n and Minho ran the Maze, there was still worry on the back of her head. Her eyes remained unfocused for the most part, relying on Minho's leading to get around. The sun reflected off one of the silver WICKED plaques, causing her to look at it.

Her eyes focused again, reading what the acronym stood for. Suddenly, there was a piercing pain in her head. She put her hand on her forehead, closing her eyes as she let out a silent groan. Minho heard her and stopped, noticing her state. ''Y/n?''

''You can't go in there, it's dangerous.''

''I don't care. I can't handle this anymore.''

''Would he want you to go in there?''

''He doesn't even remember me.''

Y/n gasped as her eyes flew open. Minho's arms held her up and she gripped his shoulder as she properly regained consciousness. ''Easy there. What happened?''

''Just got another flashback,'' Y/n said as she took a step back from him, still holding on her pounding head. ''I'm okay, just give me a second.''

Minho watched her as she leaned on the wall for support. He's never mentioned that to her before, but she had a lot of flashbacks like that - almost too many. As far as he knew, some people who's been here for three years, much like himself, have only experienced that three or four times. She, however, has gotten a lot more in a year and a half, but never questioned it, so Minho never brought it up. It was curious enough that she was the only girl in the Glade, so he stopped applying logic when it came to phenomenons like that.

''You okay to go on?'' Minho asked after about five minutes.

Y/n took a deep breath and nodded, pushing herself off the wall. ''Yeah, let's go.''

The rest of the run went by without accident - and two make out breaks - and just like that, the day had passed and they were back in the Glade.

It was different today. Gloomy. As they entered through the doors, she could see some people throwing her and Minho looks. Y/n hurried to run by his side. ''Did something happen?''

Minho was also looking around in confusion. ''No idea.''

''Minho, Y/n.''

The two stopped running and turned around to be greeted with Newt jogging over. ''Newt, what's going on?'' asked Minho, holding onto the traps of his backpack.

Y/n watched Newt's adam's apple bop as he gulped. Then he spoke. ''Ben attacked Thomas earlier.''

Both Minho and Y/n's eyes widened. ''What?''

Newt nodded. ''And he was stung.''

Y/n's hand flew over her mouth as she gasped. Minho clenched his jaw. ''So that's why he was so off in the morning,'' Minho thought out loud.

''He's out of his mind, blaming Thomas about everything,'' Newt explained, causing Y/n to furrow her eyebrows. ''He's in the slammer right now, but he's getting banished by dawn.''

Y/n's words caught in her throat. ''What?''

Newt looked at her. ''He attacked another Glader. He broke the rules. Besides, he's stung. We have no cure for that.''

Despite knowing he was right, Y/n couldn't wrap her head around the thought of Ben being banished. Everything moved too quick after that. Without even realizing, she was standing in the back with Chuck, who had a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to console her. Since Minho was his Keeper and one of the strongest in the Glade, he was tasked with bringing Ben from the slammer.

As they passed by, Ben caught sight of Y/n and lunged in her direction. ''Y/n! Y/n, help me, Y/n! Don't let them do this to me! Don't let them banish me, Y/n!''

Y/n dug her short nails in her palms, trying her best to stay in one place as Minho pulled Ben harshly from her direction and towards the half-circle the Gladers had formed around the doors.

''Listen to me, Minho! Just listen to me,'' Ben pleaded, his voice deep and raspy. ''Alby!''

Minho threw Ben in the middle, cutting off the rope that was bonding his arms and ignoring his pleading. Ben fell on the ground and Thomas ran over to Chuck and Y/n, watching from the side. As the doors moaned, indicating they were about to close, Minho threw a bag in the Maze then stepped away and moved out of the circle.

''Push!'' Alby ordered and the Gladers started moving in on Ben, pushing him towards the closing doors as he pleaded for mercy. Y/n felt Chuck's hand leave her shoulder as he walked away, unable to bear the sight. Yet, Y/n's eyes were locked on her friend, unable to look away.

Thomas started moving closer to the Gladers to take a look. Y/n extended her arm out in his direction, trying to stop him but ending up following him.

Y/n watched through the small gab, seeing Ben one last time before his last scream was heard. And then the doors closed, sealing Ben's fate.

Everyone was silent. Alby looked around everyone's sorrowful faces. ''He belongs to the Maze now.''

The boys let their poles lean on the wall and Y/n looked at the ground, praying to whatever higher powers may or may not be up there for Ben to have a quick and painless dead. Slowly, everyone started walking away.

It finally downed on her that Ben was no more. No more joking about Minho and the other Runners, no more playing cards and loosing half her dinner to him. She was regretting listening to Minho and not playing with him the night before.

A hand was placed on her shoulder and she looked up, seeing Minho standing in front of her. ''Let's go,'' he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and turning her away from the Maze. She took one last look at Thomas, who was the last one still standing in front of the doors, and then looked at her feet. She brought a hand up, squeezing Minho's hand as the two walked soundlessly back to the Homestead.

As they walked, Y/n stole a glance of Minho - his eyes were cast on the ground and he looked emotionless. He wasn't one to share his troubles easily, but Y/n knew it must've hit him harder than her, considering he's been friends with Ben for much longer. Still, she didn't know what to say, so she opted to stay silent.

For the first time, Y/n didn't feel hungry.