Rosè sighed as she walked out to her car, stopping only to pull her heels from her aching feet before continuing the short distance to her car. The day had been hell; all day, people had been giving her the sideeye and because of her current upcoming lawsuit that they were trying to make disappear, Rosè could barely see any clients. She had been having fantasies about fighting Royale all over again all day.

She couldn't possibly blame Royale for her own mistake. She drove to her house, she broke her windows, and she put the smack down on her like WWE. If she had just let it go like she swore she'd do maybe her job wouldn't be in jeopardy.

Rosè tried to make the thought disappear as she slid into her car and started it up. All she wanted to do was go home to Kaivar and get the best head ever.

The Line by dvsn played through her radio from a CD Remy had burned for her and gave to Zaida to give to her at work today labeled "Feel Better Mix". That was exactly what she was hoping to achieve by listening. She knew stress was bad for the baby and she tried so hard to not let it get to her but stress didn't just disappear upon demand like she wanted it to.

Suddenly, her phone dinged— snapping her out of her thoughts.

Unrecognizing the number, Rosè decided to ignore it. One thing she learned from all the movies she sat up watching hours at a time was that you can't trust people you don't know. Another thing she learned from real life was that you can't even trust people you do know. So, instead of replying to the text, she turned the music up and sang to the lyrics of the few songs she knew before she found herself pulling up on Kai's house.

She turned the car off and sighed with relief before getting out of the car barefoot, walking to the door.

"Ouch!" She hissed as she jumped up from where she had just stepped on some glass. She picked the glass from her foot and looked around for anymore, tiptoeing the rest of the way to the door. She knocked lightly, pulling out her iPhone before turning the flashlight on and looking around on the ground.

The door opened, catching Rosè's attention. "What you looking for?" Kai asked, squinting down at her.

She turned the flashlight off quickly. "I stepped on some glass." She informed him.

"Why are you walking barefoot?" He asked, shaking his head as he moved to the side. "Get in here, girl."

Rosè walked inside and sat her purse down on his nightstand by the door. "I am so tired..." She groaned, looking around the neatly decorated home. When she didn't get a response like she expected, she turned around and looked at Kai. He gave her a serious look. "What?"

"What you mean what, man?" Kai asked, walking up to her. "What's this Royale shit about?"

Rosè rolled her eyes. "No. We're not about to get in an argument about that, Kaivar." She said, looking up at him.

"It's nothing to argue about. I just want an explanation as to why you felt like it was okay to go over there knowing you're pregnant.. then she talking about pressing charges—"

"I have dealt with this enough." Rosè said sternly. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore like deadass. I'm already on the brink of losing my job, maybe going to jail for smashing this bitch car and head with a damn rock, Jewelle is mad because she wanted to jump her, you're mad, my mom is mad— even though I could care less, my boss is mad. Like, okay, I get it. I fucked up."

"No, you don't get it. You could've effected the baby somehow." Kai lectured.

Rosè turned away from him. "Kai... at that point, the baby was the last thing on my mind, okay? You think I wanna hurt the baby? No. I know what I did was wrong–"

"So, why?" Kaivar asked. "Because you were mad? This isn't you, Rosè. I know you."

"No, you don't!" Rosè snapped, pushing away from him. "You don't know me. I've been alive for twenty- five years and you haven't even known me for one so don't sit here and act like you know me."

Kai looked at her, confused. "What's wrong with you?"

Rosè sighed, shaking her head. "Nothing."

"Don't tell me nothing, Rosè." Kai said, grabbing her chin and making him look at her. "What's wrong?"

"This. Last night. You told me you loved me and I don't know if you realized it..." Rosè explained.

"I wasn't drunk." Kai told her, chuckling a little. "I'm well aware of what I said to you."

"I'm just... I'm not ready for that. It's been three months and I just don't know if I feel that for you." She said, pulling away from him.

That hit Kai hard, a sharp sting hitting him in his chest as he looked at her. On the outside, you couldn't tell that the words hurt him because he chuckled, shaking his head. "Rosè, you're doing too much. You could've just said that... I didn't mean it like I love you," He lied effortlessly. "I was just saying like you're cool as hell and I love being around you. I was wrapped up in sex on top of that so.."

Rosè watched him shrug it off as if this was some petty female emotions she were having. "I'm sorry.. maybe it's just the baby... I don't know. I don't know."

Kai shrugged. "Yeah, you good." He said dryly.

Rosè could practically feel him distancing himself from her, drifting back into intimidating, mysterious, "what-is-he-thinking" Kai. She reached for him but he pulled away, still a smile plastered on his face. "I'm gonna go to the doctors tomorrow to check on the baby." Rosè said, looking down at her stomach.

Kai nodded. "Yeah, I can pick you up if you need me to."

"So I'm not spending a night?" Rosè asked, squinting at him. "Look, when I said that I wasn't saying—"

"You good, I understand." Kai cut her off. "And you can spend a night if you want, I don't really care, I'm just saying because I didn't see you bring any clothes."

Rosè was quiet for a while. If he's drawing back then I am too. She thought to herself before smiling. "You're right. I'm gonna head home and I'll call you to let you know what's going on when I leave the doctors."

"Cool." He said, looking away.

Rosè's smile turned into a frown after she turned away from him, walking towards the door.

This was society's problem. It was flaw to tell how you really feel; to appear weak or vulnerable when it really came down to it. Making that extra effort was mediocre and pointless whereas even when you don't, you got nowhere. Maybe if people said what they meant, they'd get what they want. Maybe not.

Rosè walked into her room, sitting her keys down on her dresser before closing the door and looking around. Her room seemed kind of foreign considering she hadn't been there in a while. She slumped down on her bed and sighed loudly.

She pulled her phone out of her purse and looked at the time: 11:35PM.

She could practically feel the insomnia slipping into her veins as if she had got a needle and inserted it herself. She threw her phone back in her purse and dropped it onto the floor beside her bed, her eyes lingering on the bottom drawer of the nightstand it landed next to. She opened it slowly, seeing her familiar fluffy pink notebook.

Pulling it out, with the pen besides it, she started to flip through the pages. Majority of the book was filled with her poetry and thoughts, others a few funny doodles she did at night when she couldn't sleep and was bored. She chuckled a little as she noticed a familiar poem.

At night, my dreams call
I don't answer.
In the morning, my ex calls.
And I feel the pressure.
But I can't help but be on some new shit.
With no discretion.

Rosè flipped two pages away until she reached a blank one, turning back on her stomach. She sat the pen in the middle then went to open her laptop and turn on Spotify. Say It Again began to spill from the speakers and Rosè started writing.

Can you focus on me?
Like we're destiny
At least that's what I believed
The way you looked at me
You gave me dragonflies;
quick and ugly—
at least that's what I believed
The way you touch me
You give me wet nightmares
They stick with me, I feel you
I feel like I know you
At least that's what I believed
It's like we'd never last
That's what I dreamed
But I still want this
Because that's what I believe