Livy sailed into the house and up the stairs to her room, closing the door behind her. Raoul had greeted them when they returned to find out how it had gone, he had obviously known their reason for going before she did, and it was just one more thing to add to the list as far as she was concerned.

She forcefully kicked her shoes off and they landed across the room with a satisfying thump. She wished they had hit Declan's head.

"Feel better now?" Declan asked as he entered her room closing the door silently behind him.

"No, I wish it was your head they hit and not the wall," she said as she threw herself down on the bed and started to remove her stockings with jerky movements.

"I really don't get what you're so upset about."

Livy looked at him in stunned silence.

"I've had relationships in the past, you knew this."

"Yes, I did. And if I recall, I asked you to inform me of a few of them so this exact thing wouldn't happen. Do you know how humiliating it was to have that woman stand in front of me and try to tell me all about your sex life together?"

Declan grimaced. "I am not pleased about that."

"Oh, which part? The part where she said that you keep getting older and your girlfriends younger, or the part where she claimed that you wouldn't keep me long because she could please you better than I could?" Declan opened his mouth to interrupt her but she wasn't finished. "Perhaps it was the part where she said that you were cold but you knew what you were about, but the best part was when I tried to stop her, then she said that you weren't into PDA and you weren't very gentle but you had a way... that was where I cut her off."

"You really are overreacting, I hardly remember her or the brief affair we had over five years ago."

"And that makes it better, the fact that you cared so little that you don't remember?" Livy tossed her stockings on the bed behind her with a look of disgust and a shake of her head. "What made you choose a woman like that anyway?" She crossed the room towards the dresser but before she could get there he stopped her and pulled her close but she quickly yanked her arm free.

"What would you do if a guy came up to you at a party and started to tell you all about me in the same manner. How would that make you feel?"

"You win." He crossed his arms making his stance wide. "Where would you like me to begin? I'll tell you everything. Will that make you happy?"

"No!"

"Then what would?"

"Perhaps a warning when we walk into a party, a sign or something. That way I'm aware that I'm talking to one of your past girlfriends."

"A sign?" he sounded condescending. "Fine, and what about you? Will you give me a sign?"

Livy swallowed hard. "Sure," she agreed, knowing that she would never have to because she had never had an affair with a man."

"You don't sound very sure about it Livy."

"It's not likely to happen." She took off her earrings.

"It's not," he said with even more condescension.

It made her angry all over again. He was in the wrong not her, but she felt as if he was trying to twist it so that she was.

"Why is it not likely to happen?"

Livy didn't answer, she didn't want to tell the truth but she didn't want to lie either.

"I'm tired Declan, I want to go to bed."

He walked over to her spun her around. "Then answer the question, you're the one who started this."

"No, you are. You're the one who followed me up here and insisted I was overreacting."

"You were, we both have pasts and we can't erase them," he hissed as he shook her a little.

"That's just it. I don't have a past! You keep insisting that I do, but I don't." She wrenched herself away from him turning her back to him.

She waited for him to respond but all she got in return for her great admission was his silence. She wasn't sure what she had expected, more condescension or maybe even disbelief. All she wanted was for him to leave.

When she felt his hands on her shoulders she jumped. He rested his forehead against the back of her head. "Livy," he said softly.

"It matters Declan, it upsets me that these women approach me and rub it in that they know you intimately."

"Women? How many times as it happened?"

"A few times, at different parties."

"I'm sorry, Livy. I just didn't think it was that big of a deal. I thought that we both had pasts, so it didn't really matter."

"Well we don't, and it does, at least to me."

"I understand Livy, I suddenly understand a lot."

He turned her around and lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. He let his eyes wander over her face with a look of tenderness.

"I can't even tease you about the going to bed comment now. My conscience won't let me."

Livy nodded, looking away from him, trying not to fall for his charm.

"Does it really bother you that I've had other lovers?"

She could feel his eyes on her. "It's not that, not really."

"Will you tell me what it is then?"

She decided that it was time to address one of the things that had been bugging her the most since they had married. There had to be honesty even if there wasn't love. "You said that you wanted our marriage to be a real one, only it hasn't been, has it?" She rushed on before he could say anything, wanting to get it all out while she could, while she was brave enough. "Are you not interested in me? Is it like Darla said, that someone like her would know how to please you and I wouldn't?"

"Oh, sweet Livy, you have no idea." Her traced her lips. "Do you remember what I said about self-control?"

Livy nodded, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Why do you think I've been traveling so much?" He kissed her softly. "Keeping my hands off of you has taken every ounce of self-control I have. And as for pleasing me, just the nearness of you and a simple kiss has pleased me more than any other woman ever has. I can't imagine how wonderful it would be to finally hold you in my arms."

"Then, why haven't you?"

"I didn't think you were interested, at times I had hoped..."

"I'm interested Declan. I have been for a very long time now."

He exhaled and a shudder moved though his body, but when he opened his eyes he still looked so unsure about the decision. It was something that she never thought she would see, Declan being unsure. Even with the children he was sure of himself.

"Will you stay?" she asked softly as she started to undo his tie.

"You're sure?"

"Very sure."

"There really haven't been that many-"

"Shut-up Declan, you're ruining the moment."

"No, I don't think anything could ruin this moment, at least not for me."

"Aunt Livy! Aunt Livy!" Maria's little voice called from the other side of the door.

Declan groaned as he lowered his head to her shoulder.

"You we're saying?"

"Soon?"

"Soon," Livy agreed because knowing that he wanted her made it easier to wait. She gave him a kiss feeling more in control and more like a woman than she had in a very long time.

****Hey all, I'll be offline for a bit. Irma's heading right for us so we have to make our get away.  I'll be back as soon as things settle down again.****