I stretched slowly, wondering what had woken me, a little early morning light was coming in between the curtains and I felt my tiredness trying to take my body back to sleep.  It had been very late last night when I got back from my impromptu get away with Jazz and everyone except Dad had already been in bed.

As my sleepy gaze went round the room, I jumped as I saw the shadowy outline of Beau watching me from the armchair.  I sat up, watching him warily, what did he want?  "Beau?"

"I've missed you" he grated, "Where have you been?"
I shivered, reaching for the bedside light so I could see him better, but he stopped me. "No! Leave it off" he ordered sharply, and I withdrew my hand, nervously pulling the covers up tighter around me.

"Beau?" I questioned again, wondering what was wrong with him.
"Where did you go Indi and why did you run?" he bit out and I could feel his frustration reaching across the room at me.
"I... I stayed with Jazz, we had a girls weekend"
"You.  Ran.  Away" he punched out each word on a hiss. "Tell me the truth!"
"I." I took a deep breath "Yes, I needed some space" I answered softly, truthfully.

The release of tension in the room was almost audible, as he groaned and dragged his hands through his hair. "Because they kissed you" he growled out.
"Yes" I whispered.
"Did they force you?  Hurt you?" he snapped and I quickly shook my head and answered.
"No!  No, it was just a shock and it scared me.  I didn't realise they liked me, not like that" I told him honestly.

"They were supposed to wait" he tells me his voice even, bland, hiding his emotions, and I lean forward trying to see him more clearly.
"Wait for what?" I ask carefully, wondering how much he will share with me.
"Till after your birthday, then we were going to chase you, date you, to see who you would choose"

"Why?" I asked.
"Because we like you and want more, because you fill my thoughts, I worry when I don't know where you are, when I can't see or hear you" he leant forward and although it was dark I knew his gaze was pinned on me.

"Not so long ago you wanted me to leave, you hated me... all of you" I croaked out. "You can't like me, not like that!"
Beau barked out a dark laugh "We all changed our minds, we were wrong about you, you were so beautiful, petite, delicate but we thought you had hurt John, and were playing him, we wanted to chase you away because even when we hated you, we knew you drew us to you and Indi, we all want you. You have to choose one of us!"

I stared in horror at his words.
"I can't do that" I whisper back, cutting into his words. "Don't make me"
"There's someone else?" he asks after a pause, his voice cracking, sounding pained.
"No!" I reached out and flicked on the light, concerned about his response. My gaze finding his, before I noticed the black eye and bruising on his face.

I slid out of bed and was at his side before I realised what I was doing, my hand coming up to lift his face up to me, so I could see the damage. "What happened to you. Beau?" I asked worried.
"Its nothing", he tries to turn his head, his hand coming up to push mine away and I take a step back, my eyes on him.

"What happened?" I questioned, hating the gut feeling that he was hurt because of me. "Please tell me?"
"Mav and I got in a fight, its nothing" he snapped.
"Because of me?" I asked into the silence.  "Beau, damn it answer!" I held the in the sob that was building in me.
"Yes"

"Why? Why would you fight your brother?" I whispered out emotionally.
"Because they chased you away.  They scared you and now you won't want to choose, damn it they were supposed to wait" he ran his hands through his hair and gripped it,

I thought back over what Jazz had said to me, we had spent a lot of time talking about feelings and how I felt about my brothers, and my experience or nearly complete lack of it.  I may not be a virgin technically but in everything else I was, I had never dated, never kissed a boy I liked till them, I didn't know what I was doing and I hated that I was tearing them apart.

"I can't do this to you or your brothers, I can't tear you all apart" I cry out softly and I see him tense at my words, his body freezing.
"I see" he murmurs "You don't like us enough to choose" he finished before he turns his back on me.
"No" I whisper, "that's not what I meant"
"I'll leave you alone" he tells me coldly, he's buried all his emotion now, as he leaves me stood in the middle of my room, the door shutting softly behind him as he leaves.

I shake as I think about what just happened, he doesn't understand and I fall into the seat he has just left "No Beau, its because I like all of you" I cry softly.