Ever had a feeling of completeness and joy. Like for a moment nothing matters but that moment and the people around you. It's been a long time since I felt something like that, just happy well less sad. With aunty Hudaa she reminds me of home, a place where you are wanted and loved. The past week I managed to be at peace with everything that happened, yes hard to believe occurrences and difficult to live with. But it occurred to me If I spend my time dwelling on my shortcomings, not only am I restricting myself from inner peace but giving more to the people who hurt me. And that means they won. So I choose not to succumb. Instead I spend my hours in the hospital, when I am with my sister it's like I have taken leave of my past life and feel present. Looking after Anisa, while caring out the schedule aunty Hudaa created for my her - has made feel whole again. I talk to Anisa sometimes, trying to preserve her in my reality.

"Anisa. It's me Amal. I just want you to know that I love you sis. And believe me this is hard for me to say." I start sobbing, squeeze her hand for a moment and then held it. " Anisa if you need to go... you.. I understand. But if you aren't, please please continue to be brave." Unexpectedly loud and rapid beeps come from the machines, that's next to her - the heart monitor. The lines move at high-speed, ascending, moving up and down. I rush out and call out help.

"What happened?" The nursed briskly walked into the room.

"I don't know. I was just talking to her and the monitor started beeping loudly. Is she going to be okay? Is my sister going to be okay?" I spoke frantically.

"Call the Doctor!" She yelled, the second nurse ran out the room. I stood still in fear by the door, scared for my sister. I witness as her eyes rapidly move and her fingers twitch.

"Anisa!" I yell out her name. A minute later, the nurse and a doctor arrive and tell me to wait outside. The nurse escorts me out the room, and towards the waiting room. I called my aunt immediately, rambling, barely making any sense. She knew it was about Anisa, and said she'd come at the hospital as soon as possible. I couldn't sit and just wait, while my sister was... I don't what is happening to her which made it more difficult to wait around. How can I just sit here and not do anything? I started making dua for her, I prayed for her recovery. I couldn't sit, so I paced back and forth indulging my thoughts. Like lighting they hit my mind, not knowing which one to believe and which to ignore. I bit my lip nervously and fidget with my fingers. It made me restless, not knowing what's happening to my sister. I stop pacing, as suddenly someone obstructs the way. I avert my gaze and look at the person, it's Naveed. His eyes squinted, filled with concern  and lips slightly pressed.

"Mal what's wrong?" He finally asks, after observing me, in such a restless state.

"It's Anisa," I said, while wiping my tears away. "I don't know what is happening to her. They told me to leave the room."

"Amal," he called my name in a uncharacteristically manner, immediately seizing my attention. "When a doctor or a nurse tells you to leave the room it's for your own protection. Also the patient can then get immediate and efficient care without a loved in the room frantic and agitated." He said.

"I understand, but they wouldn't tell me what's wrong with her," I said.

"They probably were still figuring it out at the time. Let me go check on her status, I'll be right back." He walked away. I sat down on the seat and prayed more. It was the only thing I could do, and so I did it.

Naveed return soon after, as he walked towards me I stood up and walked towards him. "Is she okay?" I asked.

"Yes she's okay, stable for now." I watched him as he tried to hide his smile, his eyes gave it away.

"What is it Naveed?" I asked impatiently.

"Mal, Anisa is awake," He said. I ran past him, without even thing, ran towards her room. I wanted to see her, to see it with my own eyes. I got to the room, and stood by the door as the doctor talked to her. She was sitting upright, looking dazed and alive. I watched her as she spoke, and watched her blink. Thinking how I no longer have to keep her alive only through my memories because she's alive, and breathing. I entered the room cautiously, still taking it in, it was all so sudden. She turned her head to look at me. Anisa, started crying when she saw me. I walked to her side and hugged her. Felt her arms as she hugged me back. A familiar feeling, I had no idea I longed for or needed. But it was at this moment it felt like everything would be okay from today onwards.

I stop hugging her and kiss her on her forehead, and wiped her tears away. "I missed you so much Anisa." I told her.

"I heard you Mal. I heard you." She said, her voice low and raspy. Looking into her eyes and witnessing her talk, made it feel so surreal. "I am here now."

"Well your vitals are fine. I'll let you two catch up. I will be back to check up on you," The doctor said and left. I sat on the chair beside her bed, and held onto her hand.

"Where's mum? And dad? Are they okay?" She asked hastily, her tone desperate - needing some sort of assurance.

"What's the last thing you remember?" I asked her, not wanting to jump into it.

"We were in the car. Mum was talking about how she's excited for the family to be all together again, dad's phone started ringing and he looked to see who it was just glanced and than another vehicle collided with ours... that's the last thing I remember." I explained to her what had happened, looking into her eyes watching her heart break when she listened to me speak on the tragic and sad event that occurred. I didn't elaborate on what happened after, on what the accident did to our family.

Watching her cry, wailing and questioning why and how. Repeatedly, it was all overfamiliar. I tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't let me. She just cried and buried her face in her hands. "Anisa it's going to be okay," I told her, I doubt I sounded assuring.

"How do I stop this feeling Mal? This grief that recurrently shutters my heart."

"The pain you are feeling is a normal reaction. I don't know how it goes away, but I know you learn to live with it. With time there will be moments that will make you forget for a while and make you eventually hurt less. Anisa I promise you, we will overcome this together. It's going to be okay." She sobs, and I hug her, didn't let go until she did.