♛| xlii : why me? |

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|the naive rebel|
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xlii | why me?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

word count- 1846



First of all, who said that anything is happening to Garima? I don't remember saying anything about her. 😂😂
Almost every alternate messages were about saving Garima?

QUESTION:

Who's your least favourite character in the book?

Confession: This is probably the most clichè, and most melodramatic chapter I have written in this book. I realised it before I started typing it, but I had built up to this storyline so I couldn't change it. Please bear with this chapter. I didn't change the plot- cause I couldn't. Now, it's a part of the story.
As I said, bear with me and the chapter.

*NOT PROOFREAD*

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Third Person

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Inaayat rushes towards the hostel gate, her heart palpating and thrashing and pummelling. The beads of perspiration adorning her creased forehead.

Ishaan follows behind, numerous thoughts and ideas were striking their mind. Inaayat hadn't spoken even a word during their way back to the hostel. Inaayat is gripped in her share of worries and stress. Her feet were shaking and her hands shivering. Her face had heated up, thinking about the news she was delivered.

Inaayat spots Nikhil standing outside the girl's hostel. He is seen walking from one corner to the other, probably waiting for Inaayat and Ishaan. Nikhil had asked Inaayat to pick even Shaan on her way. He needed support himself.

Inaayat dashes towards him, "Where's Garima?" She questions him about her, first. Nikhil's face morphs into a look of anger before it dulls out and settles. He tells her that Sameer had just taken her to the hospital. Inaayat nods at him, but before Nikhil can describe his share of opinions and questions, Inaayat swiftly turns towards Ishaan.

"Go to the hospital. Sameer won't be able to handle it alone. Please." Inaayat requests. Ishaan nods and leaves soon, not questioning her decision. He knows she is right, Sameer can be stupid sometimes and handling a delicate matter like that, means asking a lot out of him.

"Aayat, I don't know. I can't even describe the look on her face. She looked so broken, so hurt." Nikhil searches for words. His sentence breaking and pausing and halting midway. His face is so distressed and soft in worry and angst. Inaayat looks at him, trying to steady herself.

Getting her mind prepared to face her, "I'll go upstairs, if they come-give me a call?" She leaves Nikhil behind, who takes a seat on the narrow cement bench. Waiting for the others to come back, safely.

Inaayat climbs the stairs quickly, skipping steps in between, jumping and gushing towards her room. Her mind is unsettled, her legs quivering and her body trembling. The saga that had taken place, had shocked her mind. The tale she had only seen limited to a melodramatic television series, had come to live.

The passage is fading in eerie silence, it is empty and plain and bare. There is no one outside, everyone presumably in a deep slumber.

She stops in front of her room and raises her palm to knock at the door, her knuckles brushing the wooden humid surface. She pauses and thinks again. Taking a deep breath, she finally knocks. Hitting the door, the sound reverberating in the empty corridor.

She hears some shuffling and shambling, the door creaks as it opens and before she can comprehend the look on her room mate's face, she is pulled in an affable hug. The door is kicked closed, as the sounds of stubby and incessant wailing and cries fill the room. The room that had witnessed their first meet, their blooming friendship, their laughter and also strengthening of their bond is now seeing the phase of their sadness and dejection and cryings.

Running her soothing hand on Mishti's back, she tries calming her down. Mishti tightens the embrace, while she weeps and sobs. Shedding streams of her tears, which manage to tear Inaayat apart. Her soul shudders and quavers, soft words leaving her mouth.

Her heartaches and she tries gulping back the lump blocking and choking her throat.

"Mishti.." Inaayat whispers into thin air, her words combust as soon as they leave her mouth. The air around them carries a weight of unremitting dejecting and miseries.

"Why?" Mishti's voice is thick and hazy, drowning in the shoal of her tears, inundating around her throaty and gravelly wheezes and rasps. Inaayat breaks the hug, probably the worst decision she had recently taken. The dried and fresh tear marks on her face, her eyes red and watery and throbbing. Her lips red and parted, cracked and chapped.

Her face displaying painful melancholy. Inaayat feels something shattering within herself as she helps Mishti sit on her bed. She takes a seat on the floor, kneeling as she pats Mishti's knees.

Inaayat opens her mouth trying to frame and form words but nothing leaves, just the boring expired air. Her eyes soften at Mishti's state. She tries contemplating and understanding her situation but her mind is too foggy and hazy.

"Mishti, please." Inaayat wipes off the damped stream of tears formed on Mishti's face. Her eyes close but her tears don't stop. The fact that the matter had pierced and torn Mishti apart, shredded her heart and minced and mangled her soul.

Like the sudden unexpected gush of a typhoon which easily bolsters and sustains the power to damage and vandalise the entire property and place, a task as easy as breaking a small piece of twig. Her heart is injured and bruised, the certain new development is like that sudden unpredicted gush of the typhoon, that has managed to shatter her sanity.

Inaayat hadn't even thought about the possibility of this situation, the news of Garima being pregnant and Krish, who was Mishti's fiancé, being her unborn child's father had twisted their entire lives.

The realisation strikes, the stranger, who had asked about Garima was none other than Krish, who had come there to pester Garima in telling the truth about her condition.

"I didn't love him," Mishti tells her, informs her. Her voice so coarse, her throat so itchy.

"Mishti." Inaayat's voice is a mere whisper, a low murmur nothing compared to the octane of her room mate's voice.

"I didn't love him, I am not sad that this happened. But..I...I trusted him. This relationship was forced on us, I never expected him to fall in love with me. But when this relationship was formed, we both were tied together. We both were meant to respect the equation. My heart isn't broken..my trust is." She gulps.

"If they had something between them, they could have told me." Her voice is desperate. "Told me that they love each other, I would have honestly been happy for them. I wasn't attached to him, but I had grown myself to be attached to this bond, the bond that asked me to trust, to respect it. But,"

Her eyes close but Inaayat doesn't close her eyes, she sees everything, every emotion, every crease of her pain reflecting so clearly on Mishti's face.

"He cheated. I would have been the happiest to be freed out of this bond," She raises her left hand, pointing at the ring finger, now lying empty.

"I am twenty. I never wanted to marry at this age, I want to make my career, to grow independent and to love. But, my parents didn't allow me. Instead, they simply pushed me into something they wanted from me. They have been doing this their entire life, every time. If they want it, they'll want me to fulfil it. I didn't want to be an engineer, but because they are engineers and my cousin was pursuing it, they pushed me into it. I followed. They wanted to get me engaged, I followed. And what am I getting in return? Every time I sacrifice something, I lose a part of myself. But, I tell myself that 'No, Mishti, they are probably right' I reshape my hopes and my desires." There is a heavy pause.

"Am I that bad? Am I that hapless? That somebody had to choose someone else in my place? Is this the reason why my parents are never satisfied or happy with whatever I do? Why am I so bad, Aayu. Why." Mishti's words dissolve into her whimpering. Her tears trace a path down her cheek, her face bends and her hands clenched in a fist.

Inaayat finds herself helpless, completely alone and trapped. She wants to help her, to comfort her but she doesn't know-how. How can she make her believe in herself when she is so much in pain? How can she join her, when she is so broken. Any comforting words, sympathising statements would seem wrong and pathetic because she isn't just hurt,
Mishti is vanquished.

Her life is the opposite of hers, an antonym. While Inaayat skipped every expectation her parents had from her, as she chose her path by her happiness, Mishti had surrendered long back. She is living a life, her parents had wished for her.

She had sacrificed every wish of hers to make them happy, but how will she find happiness when she isn't even living for herself anymore?

"Why am I so atrocious," Mishti repeats.

Inaayat can see the pent up pain, Mishti has been hiding within her. The jovial, always-happy Mishti was so subdued. A poor facade to hide the affliction beneath.

"No, you are not. Stop saying that, please." Inaayat blinks her eyes, trying to mollify the tears threatening to spill from her orbs. Mishti shakes her head, sobbing and blaming herself, her life.

The swamp of insecurity, self-doubt and diffidence had surrounded her, pulling and tugging her, tearing and ripping and riving her. Suffocating and strangling her, punching and cuffing her. Mishti was drowning, and nothing could have saved her.

The pain of thinking herself to be so low, so bad, so rotten that she had to be cheated upon, had affected her. There wasn't a one-sided love that was maiming her, it is the broken trust that is mutilating her heart.

The tears flowing from her eyes aren't because she lost someone she had loved, the tears are the scorched dwindled remains of her poor self, whom she had lost in her battle with insecurity. She has lost the confidence that was already supported by the thin strands of her hope.

Inaayat stands up, not saying even a word, she lets her best friend wound her arms around her stomach, and cry her heart out. Her sobs echoing in the and annihilating, both hers and Inaayat's soul.



Confession 2: Garima is my least favourite character in the book. Has always been, maybe because I always knew what is going to happen.

Nonetheless, here's the chapter.

I had always wanted to show the common problems, there are people like inaayat and there are people like mishti who do exist.

next update will be probably on 12th.

Until the next chapter,
keep dodging the bullets,
.


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