CJ POV

" you know that it's nothing to be embarrassed about, everyone has anxiety. it's just a matter of how we deal with it" Kayla comforted me as we where sitting on her front steps.

you see we where all just hanging out, and i don't know what came over me i just got a wave of anxiety and couldn't control it. and it happened in front of so many people that it just made it so much worse. i just wanted to be normal.

"it's not okay, Sam and Hunter didn't know. now when they see me they will treat me different. once people find out they treat me different. i don't want people to treat me different" i ranted and ran my hands through my hair.

Kayla sighed and grabbed my hands out of my hair. "look at me" she demanded.

i sighed and slowly turned to look at her.

"i understand that this is hard for you, i won't doubt that. but Hunter and Kayla aren't like that, sure it might take a little bit of time. but they will get over it. because it's not going to go away, and this is nothing that you should be ashamed of. because having anxiety dosnt define you as a person. it's just a part of what makes you you. and if they or any one else cant deal with it. then they will have to go through me, and your whole family. because we all love you, and care about you." all of what she said was true, it was just hard to believe it.

"why me? what did i do to deserve this. my parents thought if it would happen to anyone of us it would be Cruz. but no it had to happen to me." i slumped my shoulders.

"well life happens and guess what it happened to you. but you can't let it control you. because you have so much in life that you will accomplish. and know that you will be amazing at what you do. and for as long as you want i will be with you buy your side helping you face it" she placed her hand on top of mine.

i sighed she was right sometimes it just get so worked up.

"i know your right, it's just so hard. because i really don't want to see there looks of pitty at lunch tomorrow." i leaned my head on her shoulder.

"well i will be there to knock them into place if they do" she smiled.

which brought a smile to my face. "i am sure you will."

"i will trust me they say anything that upsets you i am going to pounce" she grinned.

"i love you, you know that right" i really truly did.

"i know you do. and i love you so it makes it even" she smiled.

i couldn't help it, i leaned in and kissed her. it was nothing serious since we where in front of her house, and i wouldn't want to do that in front of her parents. i have some decency.

"you want to stay for diner?" she asked after she pulled away.

"i can't mom is expecting me home" i tell her.

"okay text me when you get home okay" she was always considering others.

"promise" i said have her another quick kiss and stood up.

it's funny looking back three years ago, i was so afraid that she just wanted to be friends. but after my sixteenth birthday it just changed. she asked me out, and i was so shocked i bearly got out a yes. but now it's been the best two years of my life, beside my mom she is one of the only other person who can talk me out of a anxiety attack.

she's been so patient and kind with me. i remember thinking that she would break up with me once she found out i had anxiety. but it was the opposite, she actually took the time to ask question and get to know the whole thing better. she even asked if she could come to a therapy session with me so she could ask her what kinds of things help me. and just wanted to know more about it.

and it just makes me in awe that she actually cared enough to do that. My mom loves her and dad, which makes it all the better. so dose Rosie, but she loves all our girlfriends because they play with her. so i guess that doesn't count but still. i am so glad that she gets in with my family because that's really important.

i pulled into the lane way and saw Cruz getting out of his car to.

"hey" he offered me a slight smile.

"hi" i knew he wanted to talk about it.

"you okay?" i knew this was coming.

"okay as can be i guess" which wasn't a lie.

he nodded and slung his arm over my shoulder. "i love you"

"your so sappy" i joked and shrugged his arm off me.

he laughed and walked into the house.

"mom where home, well minus Canyon" Cruz called out.

"i have arrived" he came up behind Cruz and i.

"good living room" She called out.

i don't know what she wanted to talk about but i guess we would find out.

———————-

"hey you" i smiled as i came up behind Kayla and wrapped my arms around her waist as she was at her locker.

"hi" she turned around to face me. "how you feeling this morning?" she questioned.

"i am good, so apparently mom just wanted us all to have a family diner. since we haven't had one in a while. she even made us play a bunch of games. it was cheesy but kinda nice to be honest is that lame of me to admit?" i explained it to her.

"no it's not lame, that's actually really awesome. i wish my family did that. but mom is so busy with work. and Harley is so far away, that we don't see him unless it's holidays" she had a sad look on her face.

"how is Harley? he's still liking his classes?" i asked her.

Harley is twenty three, and in medical school. so he's been crazy busy.

"ya but he sometimes wishes there wasn't so much home work." i mean i would agree.

"i can only image, i hate the amount of homework i have in high-school." i spoke the truth.

"speaking of home work, did you finish your english essay" Kayla questioned as we started to make our way to our first class.

"yes i did as much as i didn't want to i did" i informed her.

she smiled and grabbed my hand and we where almost in the classroom when Colton stopped me by grabbing my arm.

"what are you doing? class is about to start" i didn't want to walk in after the bell.

"i know meet me in the bathroom in an hour. we have to talk, it's important." he has a urgent look on his face.

"okay, text me when you are there so i can leave" i tell him.

he nodded then rush down the hallway as he only had a couple seconds to spare before the bell.

"what was that about?" Kayla questioned.

"i have no idea, but i will find out soon" i mean what could be so important it couldn't wait till lunch.

forty five minutes later here i am standing in the bathroom with Colton.

"what was so important that you couldn't wait till lunch." i wasn't impressed.

"Cruz and Canyon are fighting." he started.

"okay we all fight all the time so what's the big deal." i mean i sure it was over something stupid anyway.

"ya but the thing is when Canyon tried to apologize. Cruz just brushed it off, and didn't say anything. he's never done that before. and when i tried to ask him about it. he got all defensive, something big is going to happen i can feel it. and i just don't want them to say things that might wreck our relationship. and make us feel like we have to pick sides. especially you, that would be terrible." Colton explained.

"okay so then when we get home i will see what i can do. i am not about to start this at school. for the whole school to make a big scene." i tell him i wanted this to be delt with in private.

"that seems like the best option." he agreed.

"alright see you at home, thanks for the warning" i said then walked out of the bathroom back to class. having no idea what the heck to do.