Jamie

"Fuck!" Noah breathes into my neck, as I try to keep my own moans under control.

Like I keep saying, it has been a while since I last had sex. Over 7 months, to be exact. And that was with Will. He had a big dick, so you'd think I'd be prepared for Noah. I'm not. Not at all. I don't know if it's just because it's been so long that I've forgotten what this feels like, or because it's him... But, fuck me. Literally.

He's fully inside me now, and I can barely breathe. I'm gasping and moaning and I can't cope. He's bottomed out, but he's not withdrawing. He's not moving. What the hell is he trying to do to me right now?

"Are you okay?" He whispers against my cheek.

"Yeah!" I gasp. What the fuck is he asking me that for? "Why wouldn't I be?"

He hesitates, before saying, "you're...so tight."

I move my hips upwards on reflex at his words. If he's trying to imply that I'm a virgin, he is very much mistaken. He knows I'm not. So why the hell would he stop to make sure I'm okay? Because he cares about me, maybe? Because he likes me? Fuck if I know, but it's really just made me want him so desperately now.

He responds to my sudden movement by pulling out, before burying himself back into me over and over again. He's taking it slow, which I appreciate, because I honestly don't think I'd be able to handle him driving himself into me at full force. I feel so fucking full of him as it is. I close my eyes, tighten my grip on his shoulders, tighten my legs around his waist, and try my best to match his thrusts with my own. But I don't think I'm doing a very good job. I'm far too caught up in him to think about what I'm doing. The way he's making me feel is so intense, and it's like nothing I've ever felt before.

I eventually manage to open my eyes as I continuously moan and gasp beneath him. His face has been buried into my neck, but as if he can sense that I've opened my eyes now, he pulls away from my neck so that he's facing me, and our eyes lock. I can't stop myself from moaning, right into his mouth, as he continues slowly fucking me, because it feels so damn good and I can't help but moan. The eye contact just makes it all the more intense. I bite down on my bottom lip, and his gaze quickly darts down to my mouth. He's never said it before, but I think it drives him crazy when I bite my lip, just like he drives me crazy when he runs his hands through his hair.

Immediately, he lets out a low grunt before dropping his face down into my neck again and picking up the pace. I mean, really picking up the pace. His hands are running down my sweaty body, until he's gripping my butt and lifting me up off of the bed slightly, like I'm not already close enough to him as it is. The angle feels amazing, and I cry out as he really starts fucking me now.

I've lost control of my own actions, and I find myself cursing and calling out his name and begging him to fuck me harder. I can barely even hear my own words. My voice sounds like I'm speaking under water or something, because my senses aren't working properly. I can't hear, I can only feel. Every single sensation igniting my body right now. I'm alive, and I'm on fire, in a way I've never been set alight by a boy before.

My head is spinning, my heart is pounding, I'm sweating and I know the fucking make-up I just had to put on earlier is probably running down my face right now. But I don't care. All I care about is Noah fucking me. Crude, I know. But I can't refer to this as making love or anything else, because this is fucking. Hot, fast, hard fucking. And it's amazing.

I've never came during sex before. Sure, I can bring myself over the edge easily, and I've climaxed when guys have gone down on me. But never from sex alone. When Noah went down on me in my guest bedroom all those weeks ago, I was fucking moments away from coming when he decided he needed to stop. I know he would have gotten me off if he'd kept going. And I have a feeling he may be the first boy to make me cum during intercourse. This is hands down the best sex I've ever had in my life, and I'm hoping it will result in a mutually satisfying ending.

I know he's almost there too, because he's grunting and pulling me into him by my ass harder and harder with every thrust. I'm gasping for breath now too, because he's built me up to the point of no return. I can feel it. I'm so close. My legs start to tremble, my fingernails dig into his shoulders, my moans have practically turned into screams... And I'm shattering into a million pieces beneath him. As it happens, I know he's coming too. And I know he can feel me coming with him inside of me, wave after wave coursing through me rapidly, until it slows and I manage to regulate my breathing and start to relax a little.

I feel his weight on top of me getting heavier as he relaxes too, and suddenly, now that my senses are returning, I'm embarrassingly aware that my nails have totally broken the skin on his shoulders. Fuck. I'll apologise. Just as soon as I feel like I can string a coherent sentence together. I'm still riding this out. And he is too.

We're both soaked in a mixture of each others sweat, I feel like I'm burning up because I'm so hot, and my mouth is as dry as the Sahara. But I'm not moving. Not until he does. His face is still buried into my neck, and his breathing is still shallow and rapid.

A few minutes later, and he wordlessly moves off of me and off of the bed. He walks out of the room, fucking balls naked, and I notice that his bedroom door is still wide open. I really hope Will didn't come home. We were loud. So, so loud. Okay, I was loud. This could be extremely embarrassing for me. I mean, let's face it, whoever lives in the suite next to Noah's and Will's definitely heard us having sex just now. Oh well.

I pull Noah's blankets up over my body quickly, because I'm worried I won't have time to get dressed before he returns. I assume he's gone out to dispose of the condom we just used. He'll be back any second.

His room is dark, because it's pitch black outside now, and we didn't turn the light on when we came crashing in here earlier. It wasn't that dark when we came in his room before though, I remember because I remember looking at his body as he took his clothes off in front of me. God. How long were we going at it? I wanna check the time, but my phone is in my jeans pocket, and like I said, I don't wanna get up and risk Noah seeing me naked. Even though he already has. What is that about? I guess I feel a little bashful now.

He re-enters the room, and closes the door behind him this time, filling his room with darkness without the light from the hallway. There's a little moonlight streaming in through his bedroom window, but not much. I can't make out his features, just his outline.

I freeze as he approaches the bed, because I suddenly feel incredibly awkward and aware of myself. What if he freaks out? What if he regrets what we just did? What if he compares me to all the other girls he's slept with, and I don't meet the standard? I didn't exactly do much. Shit. This was a mistake.

But, no. That couldn't have been nothing to him, because it meant so much to me. It can't have been one sided. Best sex I've ever had, must have been at least okay from his point of view.

Why am I even worrying about this? He told me he liked me, for god sake. This is fine.

Yeah, he told me he liked me, right before reminding me that he doesn't wanna be my boyfriend. What was it he said again? He cant be my boyfriend. Jesus Christ. What have I done? This was a mistake.

I feel the bed dip as he gets in next to me, and I feel him wrap an arm around me. My throat still feels dry, and I'm too scared to say anything. He knows how I feel about him, and he knows what I want. He needs to be the first one to talk. He holds me for a few minutes, and neither one of us says a word. He's awkward. I knew he would be. Shit, this is a disaster.

"You're staying, right?" He finally whispers. His face is right in front of mine on the pillow, and his voice is low. His arm is still wrapped around me. And...he wants me to stay?

"Um, I wasn't going to." I choke out. I sound like I've suddenly been struck down with the flu, my voice is so croaky and broken. Probably from all the moaning and yelling I was doing not so long ago...

"I want you to." He says, before lightly kissing me on the forehead. What? I'm so confused.

He doesn't wanna be my boyfriend, but he likes me, and he wants me to spend the night? He didn't wanna fuck me around by doing anything sexual like this with me before, but tonight, suddenly, he decides it's okay for us to sleep together. I mean, I decided I wanted it too, of course, but I have my own reasons. I couldn't resist him. And he told me he liked me! Fuck, I can't process this. I need to get away from him.

"Benji." Is all I say, before moving to sit up, and getting out of the bed.

I collect my discarded clothes from his bedroom floor, and get dressed quickly. He doesn't say anything, but he sits up on the bed to watch what I'm doing. It's dark enough that he can't really see me. I hope. I can only really make out his outline, anyway.

Once dressed, I walk over to the bedroom door and open it. I just wanna leave. I don't wanna talk about what just happened, and I don't wanna have to look at him again. I just... I need to get out of here so that I can go home and process what just happened. But I hear him get off the bed. He pulls on his boxers and follows me out into the kitchen. The lights on, which isn't helpful, because his hair is a post-sex mess, and he's only wearing his boxers, and he looks amazing. I cannot believe I just had sex with this guy. I really can't.

My hand is on the door handle, and I know I can't just fuck off without another word, so I turn my head quickly to the side and say "bye then" before pulling the door open.

He catches my free hand, and I pause before turning back to face him. He looks confused, and...hurt? I'm not sure. He doesn't look too happy, anyway. But hey, that's just his face most of the time.

"Are you okay?" He asks, searching my eyes for a hint of whatever he thinks is wrong with me.

"Yes, I'm totally fine." I say quickly, hoping to avoid an intense talk. I really just wanna get away from him and be alone with my thoughts now. "That was awesome, thank you. I'll see you around, yeah?"

Did I seriously just thank him? Fuck my life.

"Um, okay." He says. He's not buying my overly positive presentation. "Do you really have to go, though? Benji would be fine until morning, right?"

I would never leave Benji alone over night, but he's probably right, he would be fine. And I could text Jay, Patrick or Joel and ask them to go crash at my house if I really did wanna stay here with Noah. But, I don't. And Benji is my best excuse.

"I can't leave him all night, Noah." I insist. "And besides, I don't really do "sleepovers" I make the universal airquotes hand gesture as I say the word 'sleepovers'. Lame. So lame. But it's the truth, I've never spent the entire night with a guy.

"All right then." He says quietly. I think I've pissed him off. I don't really know, though. His demeanor is back on 'moody Noah' mode, so even if I wanted to stay, I probably wouldn't.

"Cool, so, yeah. Bye." I say, before quickly pulling the door open and getting the hell out of his dorm.

I practically run down the stair well, burst through the main door and run over to my car. As soon as I'm inside the car, I take a few deep breaths before starting up the engine and making my way home.

I just had sex. For the first time in fucking ages. With Noah. And he made me cum. For the first time ever during intercourse. And it was amazing.

But... What the fuck does it mean?