Chapter 60

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Jamie

I take a deep breath, leaning against the wall of the hallway, the second the front door is shut.

What the hell is this fucking boy doing to me? Showing up here to apologise for nothing, again? It just doesn't make any sense. He doesn't wanna date me, and he knows I like him, so he should be staying away from me. Right?

I straighten up and dust myself off, preparing to go deal with the other tall, dark, gorgeous boy in my life at the moment. Well, at least Shaun isn't completely fucking with my head like Noah is. I know what Shaun wants from me. He only wants one thing, and I appreciate his honesty. He hasn't even brought it up that much since we started drinking Jack in my back yard earlier.

I head out back and find Shaun where I left him, sitting at the picnic table with his drink. He's on his phone, but he looks up as he hears my patio doors sliding open.

"Friend of yours?" He asks with a casual smile.

"Noah." I respond as I sit down opposite him. He raises his eyebrows in interest.

"The famous Noah, huh? What did he want?"

"Nothing." I say dismissively. I've told Shaun all about Noah tonight, because I'm such a fucking motor mouth and I've been drinking. But for some reason, I don't wanna talk about him anymore.

"He came over at this time of night for nothing?" Shaun asks skeptically.

"He wanted to apologise for our last conversation." I say, shrugging my shoulders. "Can we talk about Travis Barker again?'

We had been talking about the Blink 182 drummer before I noticed Benji barking at the sound of the doorbell ringing. I'd rather talk about music again than Noah, but Shaun's not having it. He's shaking his head at me.

"You've done a lot of venting about this Noah guy tonight. You told me you like him, and he doesn't like you. Yet, he shows up here late at night, when he knows you were at a party drinking..." Shaun smirks at me. "Sounds like a booty call to me."

"Probably." The word escapes my lips automatically, because deep down I think Shaun's right. It was my first thought as soon as I saw Noah standing on my front porch. "He does want me that way... Just not the way I want him."

I expect a cheeky come back from Shaun, but he surprises me for the hundredth time tonight. I look up at him, and there's something like sympathy in his eyes. Wow. Who knew he was capable?

"What?" I demand, and he blinks at me a couple of times before speaking.

"Nothing, it's just..." He looks uncomfortable. "I feel kinda bad now."

"Why?" I ask. "You haven't done anything wrong. This mess with Noah has nothing to do with you."

"I know that, but... I've been pretty clear about what I want from you..."

I roll my eyes. "Understatement of the century."

"Right, well... I don't wanna make you feel like you're just a piece of meat. I mean, if this Noah guy just wants sex from you too..."

"Shaun, it's fine." I give him a small laugh. "I don't like you, and I appreciate that you've been up front with me. I'm still not gonna sleep with you though." He laughs at this. "But you've been fun tonight. We could probably be friends."

"Not a chance." He says quickly. "Don't call me your friend."

"Why not?"

"You don't sleep with your friends. You are not friend zoning me." He stands up, picking up his empty glass. I follow his lead.

"Well, I'm not gonna sleep with you, so we could be friends..."

"Shut up, Superstar." He says with a wicked grin as we head across the grass towards the patio doors. "Maybe it's not happening tonight, but it is gonna happen. I can tell."

I stop in my tracks, mouth open, frowning at him. Just when we'd been getting along okay, he has to go and ruin it with his over confidence.

"Excuse me?" I begin. I have a whole big speech prepared about how he barely knows me and he can't presume to know who I would or wouldn't sleep with and bla bla bla. But I don't get it out, because he surprises me yet again by taking my whiskey glass out of my hand gently, and setting it down on the porch along with his own glass.

He straightens up and smiles down at me, taking both of my hands into his and pulling me in close to him. Real close. His dark eyelashes have such a nice curl on the ends.

"It's never gonna be off the table with us. I told you that before." He whispers, his lips barely inches away from mine.

My breathing hitches in my throat as I see his eyes drop down to my lips. He lets go of my hands and instinctively I bring them up and lay them flat on his chest as he gently grabs my waist. His chest is hard, and I can't help but wonder how it would look if he were to lose the shirt... He's still looking at my lips, which makes me feel so aware of myself, and a little nervous. I bite down on my bottom lip instinctively and he smiles.

"You see what I mean?" His voice is barely above a whisper. "We drive each other crazy..."

And just like that, I'm kissing Shaun Campbell again. Fuck, he is a really good kisser. We both taste like Jack too, which is only a plus. And this time, we aren't miles away from civilization in some dark cave down the beach. We're in my garden. Only yards away from the privacy of my home. And I'm home alone. And I have a perfectly good bed upstairs. And I haven't had sex in quite a while...

Shaun spins me around gently so that I'm backed up against the patio door. He breaks away from our kiss, only to start kissing my neck rather than my lips. I'm not at all surprised to learn that he knows where the sweet spots are. I know this is nothing new to him. And I have a feeling he would be really good in bed. I have a decision to make here, a big one.

I could sleep with Shaun tonight. Why the hell not? I'm single, he's single. He's super good looking, and he is very much turning me on right now. We both know what's up; sex only, no strings. This could be good. It could be so much more than good. It could be exactly what I need. I can do this if I want to.

So, what's with the small part of my brain that's telling me not to do this? Why is there a little piece of me that's screaming at me to push him off of me, say good night, and close the door on this? I can't think of any reason I shouldn't sleep with Shaun. I've had one night stands before, no one died. This would be fine. So why do I feel like it's the wrong thing to do?

I don't know, but I know that I need to trust that screaming voice in my head that's telling me not to go through with this. I believe in going with my gut instincts, so that's what I'm gonna do.

"Shaun..." I say, trying to ignore how good his lips feel on my collarbone. "Shaun!"

"Mmm?" He groans into my neck, moving his hands from my hips around to grip my butt, pulling me in closer to his arousal. Fuck. No, I need to stop this.

"Shaun, we can't." I say, gently pushing him back from me.

His breathing is rapid as he looks down at me dusting myself off. I feel a little embarrassed, and a lot turned on. It doesn't matter though, I'm strong. I can show him the front door, no problem.

"Why not?" He says, his voice strained. "You cannot deny the pull between us."

He's right, I can't. But, it's purely sexual, and it can be ignored.

"It's not happening." I clarify, once and for all, as I step into the kitchen. "Thanks again for the ride, and I meant what I said. We can be friends."

I turn to see him closing the patio door behind him. He doesn't look pissed, in fact, he's smiling. This boy really is full of surprises.

"Whatever, Superstar." He smirks at me. "Friends don't kiss each other like that."

He walks past me towards the hallway and I take a deep breath. He's not wrong...

"I'll see you around." He says casually as he opens the front door. He turns to give me one last flawless smile. "And remember, it's never off the table. You ever wake up and realise you want me? I'm all yours."

And with that, he's gone.

I decide I need to take a cold shower before heading to bed, and that's exactly what I do.

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