Jamie

He didn't show. Noah, I mean. Not that I expected him to, I mean, I didn't text him. But I had hoped he would show up at Jay's. And now? I am glad that he isn't here. The disappointment I felt when Zach, John, Kim and Aubrey walked in (and there was no sign of Noah) is fucking unacceptable. I hate how much it's bothering me that he didn't come. I even asked Zach if he invited Noah (he did, but Noah's going out with the Track Team tonight). What the hell is that about? Actively expressing an interest in whether or not Zach invited Noah over to Jay's is not cool. Patrick heard me asking about Noah, I caught him grinning at me. He thinks I wanna try and hook up with Noah though, that's all. But, Christ. Do I want more from Noah? No. No, I don't. I don't...

Although, it is bugging me how much I'm thinking about him. His dark hair and his dark eyes and his almost perfect body and his moody face. The way he kisses, the way he touched me, the way his lips felt on my thighs...

Jesus, I really do need to get laid. But that is most certainly not gonna happen tonight, whilst I'm having a chill night with my friends.

"How do you guys feel about having a girls night tomorrow night?" Aubrey smiles at me and Kim as she sips the cocktail Jay made her through a straw. Zach, John, Jay, Patrick and Joel are busy talking about cars at the other side of the den. A subject us girls are not particularly interested in. I'm a little surprised that John is into cars to be honest. It doesn't look like he's contributing much to their conversation though, but I guess he is good at pretending to be more knowledgeable about stuff than he actually is (cough, guitar).

"I would love that!" Kim exclaims. "I mean, this is fun and all, but we can't exactly talk about them when they're here, right?"

Aubrey laughs and nods her head in agreement. I laugh too.

"I have absolutely no problem talking about these guys while they're within earshot." I say, making no attempt to lower my voice. "But girls night tomorrow would be good, you guys could come over to my place."

"What are you saying about us?" Joel calls over curiously, and the rest of the guys turn their attention over to us girls. 

"Nothing, nothing at all!" Kim says quickly. Damn, I didn't mean to embarrass her and Aubrey in front of Zach and John. I can save this though.

"I was just telling Aubrey and Kim that I'm totally comfortable saying anything in front of you guys." I smile over at Joel, Jay and Patrick. "We were just playing a game of 'Fuck, Marry, Avoid' with you three as the subjects."

"What's that?" John looks confused. He's so innocent. Patrick, Zach and Jay laugh, Joel rolls his eyes. 

"You have to chose who you would Fuck, Marry and Avoid out of three people." Zach explains. 

"So what's the verdict?" Patrick asks, smirking at Aubrey and Kim. No, they aren't answering this, I am. 

"Easy." I say, before Aubrey or Kim have a chance to say anything. "I'd avoid Jay, for obvious reasons. I'd marry Joel, for obvious reasons. And I'd fuck you, for obvious reasons." 

I stick my tongue out at Patrick before taking a sip of my Jack and Coke, and everyone laughs. 

"Well, Jame. If we're both still single by the time we're forty, hit me up." Joel says with a laugh. 

"Uh, excuse me, I'm Jamie's back-up." Jay protests. 

"You can't be her back-up, you guys would be in a sexless marriage." Patrick points out. He is very correct. 

"Oh, like she'd have sex with Joel!" Jay comes back. 

"Good point." Joel says, wincing at the thought of fucking me. Awesome. The feeling is mutual, though. 

"Exactly." Patrick says, raising his eyebrows at them both. "I'm Jamie's back-up, because at least that way, we'd get to fuck."

Jay laughs, Joel frowns and I let out a sharp laugh like pah!

"What? She just said she'd fuck me out of the three of us. I'm the most sensible choice of a husband." He nods his head at the guys, like so there.

"Yeah, dude, but there is a very real chance that you will still be single by the time you're forty." Kim points out with a laugh. 

"Right, you and Jamie could actually end up getting married." Aubrey laughs too, and I roll my eyes.

"Well hopefully I won't still be single when I'm forty." I point out. And I just thought about Noah. Jesus. 

The night goes on, we all talk and laugh and I feel like I've made a good bond with Zach now. Of all the attendees, I knew him the least before tonight. He is really cool, and Kim's a lucky lady. He is obviously extremely taken with her, and the feeling is mutual. If only the feeling was mutual between Noah and me... 

***

Sunday night, and Aubrey, Kim and I are settling down in my living room with Benji for our girls night. We have the Ben and Jerry's in full flow (cookie dough is my ice-cream of choice, fucking love it), we have rose wine, we have popcorn, we have candy and we have my huge collection of chick-flicks to choose from. 

"Hmm, I don't know. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?" Aubrey suggests, flicking through the pile of DVDs.

"No, I've seen that movie like a million times!" Kim cries out, looking through the DVDs too. "How about Cruel Intentions?"

"No way! That one's too sad." Aubrey says.

"Only at the end, most of the movie is funny." Kim states.

"I don't like sad endings, though. I like happy endings." Aubrey pouts and Kim sighs.

"What do you think, Jame?" She just called me Jame, aww. "What's your favourite chick-flick?"

They both look at me, waiting for an answer, and I consider the question. I have a few. When Harry Met Sally, Dirty Dancing and A Cinderella Story are my favourites. I have a feeling they would respond best to the last one.

"A Cinderella Story?" I say tentatively. Aubrey looks happy, Kim looks unsure.

"I am genuinely surprised that you like that movie, it's a bit soppy." Kim says, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Well, I'm a bit soppy deep down." I tell her with a smile. "And I like the soundtrack. It has one of my favourite songs in it, too. Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World. 

"Aww, yeah! The song at the end when Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray finally kiss on the football field! I love that part." Aubrey looks delighted.

"How about a classic?" Kim clearly isn't convinced. "Like Dirty Dancing or Pretty Woman or something?"

Bingo.

"I do enjoy Dirty Dancing." I say, looking at Aubrey for approval. She smiles and nods her head enthusiastically, settled. 

I grab Dirty Dancing from the pile of DVDs and go to put it on. Aubrey and Kim settle themselves down on the biggest sofa with their wine and some blankets. 

"So, what are Zach and John up to tonight, anyway?" I ask them as I get the DVD set up. 

"They're going over to the Grill, I think." Aubrey says. "John wasn't too sure, though. He mentioned something about homework."

I smile to myself, that does sound like John.

"Zach wanted to hang out with Noah." Act normal, Jame. Don't react. "So he'll probably end up going out with him tonight."

"What about the guys?" Aubrey asks, before I have a chance to make further enquiries about Zach's plans with Noah. Damn. 

"Jay and Patrick are going out tonight, and Joel left for Philadelphia this morning." I tell them, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to Aubrey. 

"What's in Philadelphia?" Kim asks, as I pick up the remote to press play on the movie. We're gonna talk through it, that's a given. 

"His older brother, Jordan and his niece, Melody." I inform them.

"Why Philadelphia, though?" Aubrey asks, "Isn't Joel from North Bridge?"

"Yeah, he is. Jordan is 7 years older than Joel, though. It's kind of a long story, actually." I press play on the movie. "Melody is 8 years old now, so, Jordan was only 18 when she was born. He met Melody's mom at NBU, she's from Philadelphia. So they moved there after she got pregnant, and Jordan's sort of just settled down in Philly. They visit when they can, and Joel likes to drive up to Philly to visit them, too."

I'm sure Joel wouldn't mind me telling the girls more about his family life, but, I don't know. I don't really think it's my story to tell. 

Joel's parents weren't exactly happy when his brother Jordan told them that his girlfriend Michelle was pregnant at 18, but they adjusted, and when Melody came along they were thrilled with their new granddaughter, even though she came into their life much sooner than they'd expected. And Joel is completely wrapped around Melody's finger. He's an awesome uncle, and he loves her more than anything. 

Anyway, Michelle dropped out of college when she learned she was pregnant, and she moved back home to Philadelphia with her parents before the baby came. Jordan travelled between North Bridge and Philly during the pregnancy, he wanted to stay in school, but after Melody was born it was too hard and Jordan ended up dropping out of NBU too and moving to Philly to start a life properly with Michelle and Melody. He got a job, they got a house (with a little help from their parents) and they're still a happy family to this day.

Joel's parents were absolutely besotted with Melody, and although they were disappointed that Jordan never got to finish college, they couldn't have been happier with the life he made for himself, Michelle and Melody. I'm talking in the past tense here, because Joel's parents died about 3 years ago in a car crash. Jordan was 23 years old when it happened, Joel was 16 and Melody was only 5. It was an incredibly shit time. I mean, I lost my mom when I was younger, I know how it feels to lose a parent. But I don't know how it feels to lose them both. On the same fucking day. And my mom had cancer, we had some time with her to say all the things we wanted to say, and my mom made sure she had no regrets and no unfinished business before she passed. Joel's parents never got the chance. It was an extremely difficult time. I'll never forget the funeral. And of course, Joel won't either. It's only been three years, he's learned to adjust, but things will never be the same. I know he thinks about them every day.

After their parents died, Jordan stayed in North Bridge with Joel until he graduated High School (there was a lot of driving back and forth to Philadelphia then, but we got to see Jordan and Melody a lot more than we used to at least) and after High School, Joel got his apartment in town with Patrick. It was a really big decision for him, and he and Jordan talked it over for weeks before they finally decided to sell their parents house (their home that they grew up in). Joel thought it made sense; Jordan needed to get back to Philly for work and his family, and there was absolutely no point in Joel staying in that big house by himself. Patrick, Jay and I all offered to move in to the house with him, but to be honest, I think he thought a fresh start would do him some good. And it did. My dad started working abroad not long after, so I was left the responsibility of my house and Benji. Jay considered moving in with Patrick and Joel, but his parents told him he'd need to get a job to pay his share of the rent himself (they may be filthy rich, but they totally appreciate the value of money, and they wanna make sure Jay doesn't take things for granted) and Jay didn't wanna get a part-time job then, well, because the band is our part-time job. It doesn't pay, but we're all hoping it will some day. 

So anyway, I don't go into all those details with Aubrey and Kim. It's Joel's business, not mine. He doesn't talk about his parents to people outside of The Middle much, so I don't either.  

"I've been to Philly once, it's nice." Aubrey says, sipping her wine and watching as Dirty Dancing begins. 

"I haven't. Maybe I'll get to pass through if Zach ever takes me to New York." she says dreamily, and Aubrey and I laugh.

"Okay, so." Aubrey sits up and faces Kim. "What exactly is the status of 'Kim and Zach'? Tell us everything!"

And that pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the evening. Aubrey talks about John, Kim talks about Zach, and I try to keep my thoughts off of Noah. Unsuccessfully, but hey, I'm trying here...