Jamie

The following week at college, and I have fully decided that I need to distance myself from Noah. That, and I really do need to sleep with someone. But, who?

On Monday morning, I arrived at English Lit class before Noah. I sat near the back of the lecture hall, and when Noah got in, he sat next to me. He was so different. He said hello to me. He asked me how my Sunday was. He told me he went for a run and hung out with his roommate most of the day. He told me he tried to read some more of the book, but gave up pretty quick. He said he's planning on watching the movie soon. He did most of the talking, and he smiled and laughed like a normal human boy. It was, different. I liked it. He's so much more comfortable with me now, which is strange. It's like fooling around with me then telling me about how he used to fool around with girls on a regular basis was what he needed to get to a place where he can actually be my friend. It just sucks, because I can't help the nagging voice in the back of my mind that keeps reminding me that I don't really want him to see me as a friend. I want him to push me down onto my guest bed and kiss me and take my clothes off and... well, you know. But, I don't just want that. I want more. I wanna talk to him, and laugh with him, and hang out with him. The only reasonable conclusion I can come up with: I fucking like him. 

There, I've admitted it to myself. But, I know I can fix this. I don't wanna like a boy who has no interest in dating or girlfriends. What a fucking waste of time that would be. I need to get over him. And I don't know how to do that, but I'm confident that I can. It's still early days, I still don't know him that well. I can do this, I can. 

The only problem I'm having: the more I talk to him and spend time with him, the more I like him. I keep hoping that he'll say or do something that will put me off of him. But so far, he hasn't. And unfortunately for me, I have seen a lot of him this week. And next week's gonna be the same, because I've started dedicating the majority of my free time to teaching John how to play I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith on guitar. 

I went over to John's dorm on Monday night, and we got started with our guitar lessons. After about a half hour, Zach showed up, but he wasn't alone. Noah was with him. Same thing happened on Tuesday night, so on Wednesday, I invited John over to my house after classes. That was much better, because the guys came over too, so Jay and Joel helped me teach John a little too. Patrick just sat around tapping his drums, making a lot of noise and disrupting the lesson. But, it was good. 

Thursday night was Open Mic night at the Grill, so we performed again (we were second last on the lineup again, maybe that will become our regular spot?) and so did Aubrey. It was a good night, but guess who was there? Fucking Noah. I have literally seen him more than I've seen Benji so far this week. Okay, no, that's a complete over-exaggeration, but I've seen him more than I would care to. Especially considering the annoying butterflies I seem to get every time I look at him (which are getting worse and worse by the way.) So yeah, I have an issue. 

And now its Friday, and I'm sitting in my stupid ass Social Studies class, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Will. I actually want him to sit next to me. He'll be a good distraction from my constant thoughts about Noah. Come on, Will. Give me a reason to shout at someone. Fuel my anger. Just distract me. 

But, Will doesn't show. Professor Orb (who made a point of actually coming along to take attendance this week, just to see who came and who didn't when we thought she wouldn't be there) makes a point of asking me how my talk with Will went last week, and I tell her it went fine. She asks if I have any idea where he is, and I say I don't. I wonder where he is, and why he's ditching. For about a minute, before my mind wonders off to imagines of Noah running his hands through his hair. Sigh. I might wonder out to the running track after this class, maybe Noah will be there practising with the Track team. That would be a nice sight...

But after class, when I walk by the track (even though I don't need to) there's no sign of him. But I do walk right past Zach. Right, I stormed past him round about this time last week, when I was trying to get away from Will. I was pretty rude to him then, I should make up for that now. 

"Hey, Jamie." Zach greets me with a friendly smile, and I stop to talk to him.

"Hi, Zach." I smile back at him. "Just finished class?"

"Yeah, I'm done for the day now. You?"

"Same."

"Symposium?" He asks.

"Ohmygod, you read my mind." I say, and he laughs. We start walking off Campus together.

"So, how are John's guitar lessons coming along?" Zach asks me as we walk. "He's pretty excited about it. He's been playing that acoustic guitar you loaned him constantly. I never thought I would hate that Aerosmith song, but I am getting seriously sick of it."

"Sorry about that." I say lightheartedly. "I thought it would be best for him to focus on the song he's gonna be performing at the Open Mic next week, you know, make sure he totally has it down."

"Oh yeah, I get that. And he is getting there, he's gonna be just fine next Thursday." Zach says. 

"I agree. He has an awesome teacher." I say, and Zach laughs. 

"What class do you have in the Sports building anyway? I saw you over here last week too." Zach asks casually. 

"Social Studies, it fucking sucks." I tell him. "And sorry about last week, by the way. I rushed right past you, I was trying to avoid someone." 

"Right..." Zach says quietly. He doesn't wanna pry into my business, so I move the conversation along. 

"So, do you have much plans for this weekend?" I ask. "Aubrey, Kim and Nikki are coming over to my friend Jay's house tomorrow night for some drinks, you're totally welcome to come too."

It's not weird that I'm inviting him to Jay's. I know Jay will be cool with it, and his parents are gone again now. Cancun, I think. Besides, the more people at Jay's house tomorrow night, the better. That way, it might be less awkward if Ronnie shows up. He hasn't seen her again since last Saturday, but you never know. It's a new weekend now. 

"Kim did mention that." Zach says, and his eyes light up when he says her name. Adorable. "She said Jay's house is like a mansion or something?"

"Yeah, pretty much." There's no point whatsoever denying that. If Zach comes tomorrow, he'll see for himself.

"Well, I am intrigued. Should I bring swimwear?" He's kidding, so I laugh.

"Nah, bring John if you want though. Aubrey will be there, so I'm sure he'd be more than happy to tag along too." I grin at Zach and he grins back at me. We both know John is head over heels for Aubrey. Hell, everyone knows it, even Aubrey. Good thing she's crazy about him, too.

"What about Noah?" Zach asks, and I immediately feel my heartbeat quicken. God damnit, be cool, Jame.

"Yeah, sure. Invite him too, whatever." I say, totally cool and aloof. I hope. The sideways smile I'm getting from Zach right now tells me that I wasn't as cool and aloof as I'd hoped. 

"I will. Or, you invite him yourself if you talk to him today. I'm sure you will." Zach coughs in an attempt to disguise his smile. He knows I've been texting Noah and talking to him quite a lot this week? Noah's been talking about me? Why is my fucking heart racing right now. 

"I know you guys have a lot to talk about, what with that English paper you're writing together." Zach goes on. "Although, he did tell me that he isn't even half way through the book yet. So, you guys haven't even started writing your paper yet."

"All true." I say, "I'm just waiting for him to give me the green light, then we can start properly working on it together."

"In that case, I'm surprised he hasn't finished the book already." Zach says with a sly grin. What exactly is he suggesting? That Noah wants to spend time with me outside of school and my guitar lessons with John? So, alone time? No, he's not interested in me like that. Fuck sake, Zach, stop giving me false hope.

"Right..." is all I say, and the rest of the way to Symposium, I fill him in on the grandeur of Jay Montgomery's house, and our plans for the following evening. There isn't much to it really (have some drinks at Jay's, play some music, hang out) but Symposium isn't far away. 

I grab a coffee with Zach, then we part ways. I head home. I need to walk Benji and grab some dinner before John comes over. I've invited Aubrey over too (don't worry, John knows, the guitar lesson won't be a lesson when Aubrey arrives, it'll be John and I jamming, he'll only be able to play one song, but hey, we'll work it out) and I'm sure I'll see Jay, Joel and Patrick too. I'm looking forward to a chilled night with some friends tonight, before the stress of potentially seeing Noah at Jay's tomorrow night can hit me. 

I should text him and invite him myself, before Zach gets the chance. Yeah, Noah should hear about this small get together from me. And god knows I need to tell Jay that Noah might be coming. He's promised to be nicer to him the next time he sees him, but I'm still kind of dreading that. It could be tomorrow night now. Jay needs to behave. And so do these damn butterflies in my stomach. My plan to hook up with someone other than Noah is still active, but no one's caught my eye yet. And no one will while I have Noah running around my mind all the time. Christ, this is such a catch 22. God help me.