Jamie

Saturday night. Saturday night of Freshman week, to be exact. And I'm sitting in my back yard wearing sweats, a t-shirt, Patrick's old hoodie, and a pair of fluffy socks (with a fetching cupcake pattern on them) messing around with one of my acoustic guitars while Benji sniffs around the garden. Rock and fucking roll, huh?

Aubrey and Kim tried to convince me to go out with them and Nikki again tonight, but I declined. Aubrey accused me of wanting to stay in because I'm nervous about seeing Noah again, but I told her she was totally wrong. I wanted to stay in to write some music, before things get hectic with school next week. That's the reason. It has nothing to do with what happened between me and Noah last night. Nothing at all...

Okay, so it kinda does. I put on such a cool exterior when I talked to him this morning, I was so proud of myself. Im pretty confident that he left here thinking 'wow, she was so cool about this. Yeah, she's not crazy. Were gonna get along just fine. Pride and prejudice, come at me!' when in reality, I was fucking freaking out about what happened between us. It was intense, and so so good. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't totally fucking crushed when he left me hanging last night... I was so close to climax, and then he just stopped! I could have kicked him in the fucking face. But, I don't wanna act like a psycho. So, I didn't. I told him everything was fine, and we can just forget about and move on and get our assignment done together. But, fuck me. I won't be forgetting about it anytime soon.

So, yeah. I guess I didn't wanna go out again tonight incase I saw him again. I can't trust myself around him, I'm so drawn to him. And when I have alcohol in my system, forget about it. I need to keep a safe distance from that boy from now on. Besides when we meet up to work on this essay. Christ, I am not looking forward to that. Mainly because I really am looking forward to spending time alone with him.

Jay, Patrick and Joel are going out again tonight. They tried to convince me to come too, but when I assured them that I'm happy enough staying in tonight, they were fine about it. My guys are cool, they never try to push me on anything, which I appreciate. They're having a few beers at the palace (Jays place) then heading out from there.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I see the three of them walking through the gate at the bottom of my back yard, talking to each other and laughing happily.

"Uh, what are you guys doing here?" I set my guitar down on the picnic bench next to where I'm sitting.

"We had to leave the palace unexpectedly." Patrick tells me, crouching down to pet Benji. "Ronnie showed up."

"What?!" I am actually shocked. 

"Yeah." Jay's scratching the back of his neck nervously. This thing with Ronnie really is bugging him, and I don't blame him. "We were sitting out back, by the pool, and she just walked in like it was totally normal. I lost it, a little." 

"You did?" I laugh at this. Jay is the most laid back person I know, I can't picture what losing it would look like with him. 

"Well, I asked her what she was doing. She said she thought we could hang. I told her that was weird, she said she would have called first if I'd given her my number this morning, which I said only backed up my argument for how weird she was being." He sighs, "she seemed a little hurt, but I mean, that is fucking weird, right?"

"Yes, yes, yes." I nod my head enthusiastically, "it is beyond weird. I'm glad you told her so. You don't want a stalker."

Joel sits down beside me and rubs his forehead with both hands, his elbows resting on his thighs. I remember he's extremely hungover today. "Joel, why are you even going out again tonight? You aren't coping with life today." 

"I'm never gonna fall in love if I don't put myself out there, J2." He says into his hands. "Although I'm becoming more and more convinced that the girl of my dreams isn't in North Bridge."

"I think you should have given Ronnie your number. The two of you would make such a cute couple" Patrick laughs at him.

"Shut up, I'm the one she wants!" Jay actually sounds hurt by Patrick's stupid comment.

"Jay, she's a total nut job, and Patrick was only kidding." I say. "So why did you guys leave? Couldn't you get rid of her?"

 "Oh, she was totally ready to leave. After Jay told her she was being weird, she was pissed. But, Mrs Montgomery made a rare appearance..." Patrick grins at Jay, and Jay rolls his eyes. 

"Your parents are home? I thought they were in Malaysia?" I ask Jay. It's hard to keep up with their getaways, but I'm sure he said they were in the Middle East last week...

"They came back early. My dad has a meeting on Monday." Jay says sharply. "My mom heard Ronnie talking and thought it was you, so she came out to see you, but she took one look at Ronnie and thought..." Jay trails off quietly and looks down at his feet. 

"She thought Ronnie was E-R-I-N." Patrick spells it out, like Jay might not know who we're talking about. Great. 

"It was the red hair, I guess." Jay tries to shrug this off, "no more red heads for me. Between Erin and Ronnie, they're gonna fucking kill me." He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and shoves one between his lips.

"No, that shit's gonna kill you." Patrick points out, smiling sweetly at Jay. Jay flips him off with one hand and sparks up his cigarette from a lighter in his other hand. 

"So, your mom talked to Ronnie?" I ask, wanting to get to the bottom of this. Joel is still rubbing his forehead next to me, I think I need to get him some water, fast. 

"Yeah, so my mom thinks I'm dating Ronnie now." Jay exhales smoke and shakes his head. "Which Ronnie was all too happy about. That girl is fucking crazy. Next time I see her, I'm setting her straight. And if she comes around my house again, I'm calling the police."

"Why didn't you tell your mom the truth?!" I ask him in disbelief. 

"Because, she told my mom that she spent the night last night... I didn't want my mom knowing I was just trying to get laid. Fuck." He shakes his head again as he smokes. I am finding this situation hilarious, but it's clearly stressing him out, so I won't laugh.

"We got the fuck out of there while my mom went to make some fucking tea for Ronnie." Jay tells me. 

"You left her alone at your house with your mom?!" This is too good.

"Don't worry, Jeeves will take care of her if she gets weird with his mom." Patrick says jokingly. Jay's parents do have a Butler (he's excused when they aren't at home, at Jay's request), his name isn't Jeeves though.

"Don't call him Jeeves!" Jay spits at Patrick. "Henry heard you saying that one time, and he hates you for it to this day." 

"Whatever, tell Jeeves to chill out about it." Patrick says like he's bored. "You got beer, Jame?"

Patrick heads inside without waiting for me to answer him. Joel sits back and groans at the mention of beer. Jay continues smoking his cigarette. 

"I can't believe you just left Ronnie at your house with your mom." I finally laugh. Jay's mom is awesome, and she'll soon see that Ronnie is crazy. But, she's so eager for Jay to get a girlfriend, I am a little worried that she may make allowances for Ronnie's crazy side...

"Yeah, I'll probably pay for that one later." Jay rolls his eyes. "Dude, you wanna just stay here tonight? You really don't look good."

I turn to face Joel, who has now gone a worrying shade of white. I think he's about to throw up. He nods his head slowly at Jay. 

"Your love story can wait another day, dude." I tell him with a friendly smile. "You wanna write about it?"

"No, I can't play right now." Joel says. "I just wanna go back to bed." 

"We'll drop you off at the apartment when we head to the Grill." Patrick says, as he walks back outside, carrying three beers. "I got one for Joel - you want it, Jame?"

"No, I'm good." I tell him. I didn't plan on drinking tonight, so I won't. "It's getting cold though, I was about to head inside with Benji."

"How can you be cold in that hoodie?" Patrick asks, sipping his beer. "I remember how cosy it used to keep me in the winter, you know, before you stole it." He raises an eyebrow at me, I know he's kidding. 

"Shut up, P." Joel gets to his feet slowly, and Patrick rolls his eyes. We all head inside. 

The guys sit down at the kitchen table, I get a bottle of water for Joel before heading up to my room to check my phone. I don't expect any messages, it's Saturday night, and the only people I would have expected to hear from are sitting in my kitchen right now, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see I have a missed Facetime call from Erin. So, I call her back. 

"Well hey there, California." I greet her when she answers the call. 

"What's up North Bridge?" She grins back at me. 

This is the first time we've Facetimed (so, it's the first time I've seen her) since she moved away last week. I feel a tug in my chest, and I realise that I miss her. Aubrey and Kim are awesome, Nikki too. But, they aren't Erin Larson. Erin moved to North Bridge with her parents just in time for starting the 9th grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 14, and the guys were my best friends. I didn't really have any girlfriends, until Erin came steamrolling into my life...

It was my first English class of High School, and I sat at the back of the class. English isn't my strong point, so I wanted to try and fade away into the background at the back of the room. But when the teacher came in with this new girl, with long, straight, strawberry blonde hair, a denim dungaree-dress and doc martins, I don't know. I was drawn to her. She looked so different from all the other girls in our grade (just like me) and I was interested in her for sure.

"Okay class, we have a new student joining us today, all the way from California. This is Erin Larson." the teacher said, and Erin waved at the class and smiled.

"Erin, why don't you go take a seat. You've transferred at the perfect time, right at the start of the school year." the teacher said, while Erin scanned all of the empty desks, deciding which one she wanted to sit at.

And she chose the desk next to mine.

"Hey." she dumped her school bag under her desk as she sat down next to me.

"Hey." was all I said back, unsure how this sunny girl from California was gonna be.

"So, what's the deal in this place? Does it matter where I sit in the lunch room, or what I wear, or how into make-up I am? Cause, honestly, I don't have time for that shit." she asked me, pulling out her notepad and some pens casually.

I was immediately impressed with her.

"If you could point me in the direction of the people who don't give a shit about what other people think of them, that would be super helpful. I've had enough of mean girls and cliques and all that crap, I just don't wanna be subject to it at all at this school. New school, new start." she flashed me her perfect smile, and there was no doubt in my mind that she was being 100% serious.

I pushed my chair back from my desk a little and gestured at myself. I was wearing a Paramore t-shirt that day, I think, jeans and converse. The usual. I wasn't into make-up at all, unlike most of the other girls my age, and, I didn't give a shit.

"Paramore? Is that a band? I've never heard of them." she said.

"Yeah, they're awesome. You should check them out." I said.

"Cool. So, musics your thing?" she asked with genuine interest.

"Absolutely. I play guitar, and I'm in a band with my friends." I told her, she looked very impressed with this.

"Really cool! Sort of like Wilson Phillips?" she asked, and as impressed as I was that she had heard of Wilson Phillips, I couldn't supress a laugh.

"Um, no, not exactly." I said, "we play instruments, the girls in Wilson Phillips don't. And my friends are boys, I'm the only girl."

"Okay, that is so cool." she was shaking her head in amazement. "You need to introduce me to your friends! And I wanna hear you guys play, since you're so much better than Wilson Phillips."

She grinned at me and I laughed again. "I never said we were better than Wilson Phillips! Just that we're different."

"Okay, so prove it. I wanna hear your band. When are you perform next?" she asked.

"Well, we don't exactly perform for anyone. We play in my garage mostly, and now that I'm in High School too we'll probably play in the music room at lunch."

"So, your friends are older?"

"Yeah, they've just started the 10th grade." I informed her.

"Are you guys playing in the music room today?"

"I guess, I don't know where it is yet, though. I'm meeting the guys at lunch, we'll probably eat together then they'll show me the music room."

"Great." she smiled at me, satisfied with everything I'd told her. "you won't mind if I tag along, then?"

"Um, I don't see why not." I said, not entirely sure how the guys would feel about that, but hey, none of us are shy.

"Perfect!" she looked very pleased with this plan. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Jamie Hawkins."

"Well, Jamie, I'll see you at lunch."

We smiled at each other, then turned our attention back to the English teacher.

***

At lunch, I wasn't sure if I should wait for Erin outside the lunch hall or not. I wasn't even sure if she'd stick to our plan. She was so confident and sure of herself, I figured she'd probably befriended some other girls in her other class that morning and forgotten about me. But she didn't. When I walked into the lunch hall, I spotted her waving at me in line. I didn't wanna skip the line, so I waved back and smiled at her. After she got her food, she waited for me. I noticed some other girls talking to her as they passed her, and she was friendly towards them, but she waited for me. I knew then that we were gonna be good friends. She was my type of person, and I knew that straight off the bat.

"The food here looks amazing!" she said excitedly when I joined her. "Burgers, fries, pizza? Clearly the war against childhood obesity hasn't hit North Bridge yet."

I laughed and started walking towards the back of the hall. I'd already spotted Joel and Patrick sitting across from each other at a table.

"The food in Middle School was okay, hopefully it's good here too." I said to Erin as she followed me.

"So, your friends, they're all boys?" she asked me.

"Yeah." I answered her question.

"Anyone special?" she asked, and I laughed.

"Not at all." I informed her. "Jay's been my best friend forever, and Joel and Patrick are my best friends too now. It's not like that with any of them."

"Cool, thought I better ask." she said casually, shrugging it off. I loved how she didn't make a big deal of the fact that my best friends weren't girls. She's so cool that way.

As we approached Joel and Patrick, I remember thinking oh, crap. What if she ends up crushing on one of them? And this thought was exclusively in reference to Patrick and Joel. I never even considered the possibility that she would like Jay, I guess because it's so ludicrous for me to imagine anyone seeing Jay that way, since I see him as a brother. Boy, was I wrong?

"Hey, guys. This is Erin, she just moved here from California." I introduced Erin, while sitting down next to Patrick.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Joel." He smiled at her, and he looked really good that day. His parents had taken him, Jordan and Melody to the Bahamas over summer vacation. He was tanned, his hair was freshly cut, and his eyes seemed more blue than usual against his tanned skin and his white shirt. I watched as Erin smiled back at him before sitting down next to him at the table, across from me. I studied her closely to see if Joel had caused any kind of lovesick schoolgirl reaction, but I was satisfied that he hadn't.

"Patrick." Patrick mumbled, barely looking up at her as he shovelled fries into his mouth. And even so, he still looked amazing. Better than Joel, in fact. But I've always preferred Patrick's looks. He looks like trouble, and Joel looks like a nice boy. I know which one I prefer. I watched Erin as she greeted Patrick, wondering if she prefers the dark, brooding type of boy too. But again, there was nothing to suggest that she was interested in Patrick.

I smiled to myself, satisfied that Erin was gonna make a good addition to our friendship group. She wasn't gonna get all boy-crazy about the guys, like most other girls our age, and she seemed cool. I was feeling very optimistic about her.

"Joel and Patrick, so your friend Jay is yet to arrive?" Erin asked me, picking up her slice of pizza and taking a bite.

"He'll be around," Joel told her, "he had Music before lunch, so he's probably got caught up talking to Mr Hutcheon."

"Is he asking if we can use the Music room?" I asked Joel.

"Probably, I'm sure it'll be fine." Joel said with a smile. "So, Erin, what's your thoughts on North Bridge so far?"

"It's colder than California at this time of year, but I'm good with that, I like seasonal weather. The school seems okay, and Jamie here seems cool. Everyone I've talked to so far has been super nice, actually. I think I'm gonna like it." Erin told us.

"Yeah, most kids are pretty cool around here. There aren't really any cliques or anything like that. Everyone just does their own thing, you know?" I told her.

"Love it." she said.

"And the music scene is the best." Patrick informed her. "You've heard of NBU, right?"

"Yeah, I definitely wanna check out the campus soon. It looks nice. I've always had my heart set on going to NYU personally, and I'm no musician, but NBU does look cool." she told us.

"You're not into music?" Joel asked.

"Sure I am, I just can't play any instrument." Erin replied.

"She likes Wilson Phillips." I said, smiling at her, and she laughed back at me, just as Jay arrived at our table looking a little confused.

"Um, hello?" he said to Erin, like it was a question.

"Hi - Jay, I assume?" Erin said, looking up at him with a smile.

"Yeah..." he said slowly, sitting down next to me, staring at Erin with interest.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Erin. I just moved here, Jamie and I are in the same English class."

"Oh, okay." he said, still staring at Erin.

I frowned at Jay, wondering why he was being so rude. Patrick started choking on his fries after trying to supress a laugh, and Joel kicked him unsubtly underneath the table. I was confused, but I soon figured out what was going on.

I looked at Jay again, and he was still openly staring at Erin. I couldn't understand why he was being so rude, and I assumed it was because he was pissed that I'd asked this random girl to join us for lunch. I waved a hand in front of his face, causing him to snap his attention around to me.

"What?" he said quickly.

"Don't