It was the strangest of feelings Roka experienced when she came back into the console room. The Doctor had removed all remnants from the tinkering and now stood there, observing the terminal and humming a melody-less tune.

With a tug at his sleeve she interrupted the Doctor's humming. He turned around, wearing the familiar look of surprise and sudden recognition she was so familiar with. And now it was mixed with wariness.

She stepped back a bit and lowered her head. "I... I just wanted to say sorry. So much has happened and it was all so fast and..."

The Doctor smiled and took on his glasses. "I couldn't take a proper look at you before," he said. "You changed quite a bit. Especially your eyes... and your posture."

"Uh..." She wasn't quite sure what to answer. "It's... been quite a while, I guess."

"Mhm..." He made his funny thinking face, head slightly tilted. "If I convert it to earthen time it's been... something around seven or eight months."

Had it really been that long? It hadn't felt like it. Something inside her wanted to say that she had missed him, but the truth was, she hadn't lost too much thoughts about him during that time. A painful sting of guilty conscience went through her.

With the need to regain his attention every few minutes she started to tell what had happened. Not in much details and she left out everything they had done during their travels. She also left out that the Master owned her life, that he had dug out all her memories and cut her chest open. And of course she didn't mention everything that had happen afterwards. That really wasn't any of his busyness.

"My, my, that's a story!" the Doctor let out. "Seems like you two really have become... friends," he stated in a tone that was somewhere in between worried, happy and surprised, and smiled. "That's an accomplishment."

"Yah, it... is." She smiled, then asked hopefully, "Can you really not let him go?"

"That... I can't do that. I know what he will do otherwise and I won't even ask what he made you do in the past months." A bit uncomfortably looking he rubbed his neck and took a breath. "You... might want to consider the possibility that he is using you for something. Don't get mad yet!" He held up his hands in a conciliating manner. "I've seen him doing exactly that way too often. Please... at least keep it in mind."

Roka swallowed her anger and nodded. "Okay. I will. But only if you consider that he might not."

"I... alright." The Doctor took his hands down.

"Could you at least take off those handcuffs that can liquify his organs? They scare me."

A strange look appeared on his face. Was that a hunch of fear? It was gone too fast to really tell. Then he shook his head and a smile came to his eyes.

"Not yet at least. And... ah, maybe it's better he doesn't wander around too much. Last time he managed to hack the doors so every single one was leading into the lava core." Roka didn't even ask why there was something like that inside here. "And then flooded my room with jelly. Not to mention he reprogrammed my radio to play the same two jazz songs over and over."

Roka snorted. That sounded a lot like him. Somehow she didn't even wonder that the Master wasn't imprisoned here for the first time. Although she wondered how he had escaped back then.

"The handcuffs are completely harmless! Yeah sure, he shouldn't attempt teleportation, but other than that... I also changed the core to craforin metal, so he can't get too close to me."

Check! She had never heard of that metal, but that shouldn't be a problem.

"Mhm... fine." She sighed and pondered how to inconspicuous ask about the laser. "Seems I need to find something to do again. Have you... by any chance... taken this screwdriver thing he had? I really would love to take that thing apart." She put on a wide grin. "Haven't seen something like that before."

"Oh, the laser screwdriver..." He shook his head. "No, better not. It's rather deadly. Don't want any accidents to happen."

"Fine." She sighed again, already thinking about where he might store something like that. "I guess I neglected the maintenance work in here for a while anyway. I'll busy myself with that instead."

The Doctor laughed happily. "What would I do without my janitor."

Her conscience stung her again. Was she betraying his trust? Was she doing the right thing?

----------------------------------------------------

"Why, you took quite a while..." the Master complained when Roka came back to the library. Without another word he snatched the cookies out of her hands and bit into one, before bringing his attention back to the comic he was reading.

"There is a Star Trek machine in here. I wouldn't even have to bring you something." She sighed and decided to ignore his manners while slumping down on some reading pillows on the ground next to him.

"A what?"

"An... atom fuser. They have something like that in Star Trek... You should watch it. "

When he didn't answer she continued to tell him what she had found out so far, although it didn't look like he was even listening. Was he mad at her because she could move around freely? But this really wasn't the right time for that.

"Well... I guess we have to find out how to destroy that metal then." She shrugged and was about to raise.

"Not important," he mumbled, biting into another cookie, not taking his eyes from the pages. "It's just amplifying the electro shocks."

"So, how do we get rid of it then?"

Finally he looked up, but it was impossible to tell what was on his mind. "No idea. Overloading won't work cause of the changed core. Maybe flirt a little bit more with the Doctor." He spat out the name. "Maybe he'll give you the keys."

Roka blinked perplex at him. "Flirt...? What the...? I'm not Jack." She laughed.

"Who?" But a moment later remembrance showed on his face, followed by an annoyed look. "Well, isn't that what his pets do?" He waved the words away.

Roka let out a laugh and poked the Master. "Really now? That's what's bothering you?" So he really was jealous! Somehow the thought amused her immensely. "If you have to know... I have no idea why they always do that." She shook her head. "He's more like this weird... grandfather that always has a new story and some candy in his pockets when you visit. Certainly no one to flirt with..."

It still was impossible to tell what he was thinking and he simply put his eyes back to the comic.

Roka sighed. "Do I have to do the research on my own then?"

"It's boring," was all he said.

"Sounds like you want to stay," she teased, but got no reaction. It began to annoy her. "You're the prisoner... I can just walk out of here. And I really start to get a good mind to do so."

He looked up and at her, but after a moment she realized that he wasn't really seeing her. Now that she paid attention to it though... there was a very subtle twitch in his eyes, as if it was hard to keep their movement under control. And... he had never turned the page he had been staring at.

"We are hovering inside the Vortex, right?" he said toneless, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

"No idea. Why? Do..." That would make sense. "... the drums get worse when you're in there for too long?"

A slight nod from him confirmed it.

"I see..." Roka pondered. And being bored surely didn't help with it. Reading also wasn't exactly the proper distraction to drown out noises.

"Nothing do you see," he grumbled irritated. "You have no idea."

"That's not my fault," she protested slightly. "I mean, I heard them that once, but that's not..."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. "That was nothing." His eyes were weird all of a sudden and a manic grin split his face. "Want to listen properly? Would that be fun?"

"What would it help?!" Roka exclaimed. "Let's just..."

"Oh nothing... but it would amuse me." The grin got wider. "Seeing you struggle with it. I bet you couldn't bare it for even a minute before begging me to remove them again."

His hands wandered to her head, thumps pressing painfully against her temples. Struggle was no use and still she tried, lashing out and twisting, but there it was already, the faint rhythm of four beats in the back of her head, steadily getting louder. And louder.

And still louder.

So much more than it had been back then. Like stepping out into a sudden rain storm. The noise hammering down on her, drowning out everything else around in an instant, pulsating violently through every fibre of her existence. It hurt. Almost physically. Making it impossible to grasp a single clear thought, to even think at all. The mere implication of thought became too much to bare and all she wanted was to get rid of it, to scream, to flail. Did she? Everything felt frozen, or did it feel at all? There was only the pain of the noise, never stopping, not even resting, pausing, gasping for a single second. Never allowing her to breath, mercilessly hammering on and on.

Finally there was another noise. A chuckle close to her ear. Sounding weird, it's volume not affected by the hammering drums. How was that possible? There were words following, but they didn't make any sense. Words... what even were they? Thoughts... words.

It tickled her mind, easing the everlasting torment, making her clasp it like a straw. Words... thoughts... she could think... think words... thinking them over and over again, countering the noise. But it roared out, drowned her once more. Over and over and over, until she finally understood. Realized it without the ability to clad it into thoughts or meaning.

Focusing. On the drumming, the rhythm, thinking it, being it. If it became part of her, would it stop?

Agonizingly slow other things came back to her. Memories. One by one. A name. Her name. Another straw to cling to, to fill her mind, push away the noise, bit by bit. Getting accustomed to it, until she could feel... limbs, a heartbeat? Her own body. She had one, she remembered. But someone clutched it around arms and chest, making it impossible to move.

There was another chuckle and Roka managed to look up into a face she knew she should recognize, but it had no name yet.

Eventually though it all came swapping back at once, like a shockwave that hit her. In the same moment the Master let go of her and Roka crawled backwards and away from him, seeing his manic grin resting on her.

"And that were only ten seconds. Just beg a little and I'll remove them," he said and it was written all over his face that he enjoyed seeing someone else being tormented by his drums for once.

Roka wasn't able to feel anger. Partially because the sound still overwhelmed her mind, but also because she began to understand, somewhere at the edges of her being, how much willpower he must be raising each second of his life to stay sane. Maybe it had become easier with time, but that didn't make it any better.

She shook her head, squinted, crawled away from him. Drowned. Curled up and whimpered. Where was she? Why didn't it stop? Why did it still get louder? Those four beats over and over. Like waves crushing over her, getting louder and sometimes quieter. Calming down like after a storm, just to scream at her again with all its power.

An eternity went by in darkness and pain.

"Mhm... not bad. A whole minute."

The voice tore her out of the abyss again, giving her the strength to push away the sound once more and even push herself onto her feet. Shaking, faltering.

Then she turned around and ran. Ran out of the library, down the corridors and stumbled into her own room to hide in there. To sit there in the darkness under a pile of blankets, listening.

Just listening.

She was in a corridor. How did she get there? Sitting on the floor, her back leaned against a closed door. In her hand was a small circuit board.

She was in her room, under the blankets, shivering and whimpering, not able to remember her name. She had to have one... or did she? Was she?

A hot shower, somehow. The noise of the water drowning the drums for a while. She couldn't stay there forever, but an idea formed in her head, pushing itself forward in this small moment of almost-clarity. Or... go back. Go and beg him to get rid of them. She shook her dripping head and wrapped herself into a towel, letting the water run loudly behind her, while she bandaged her chest.

He was doing it again. Hurting her. But it was also her fault, because she had run away. It could be long gone already if she had stayed. It was so hard to think. She clenched her teeth and slipped into fresh clothes. It didn't matter. Now she could find out more about the drums, as much of a stupid attempt as it might be. Maybe she could see something he had overlooked. Maybe...

"Am I a good man?" A voice with a Scottish accent asked.

Roka looked up and into a purple orb the size of her head. A loud humming was filling the air, letting her think for a moment. Where was she? This looked like somewhere in the depths of the TARDIS. But it felt... wrong. The sphere floated around an invisible orbit in the center of the room. When it passed her again, she saw the face of an older man and young woman next to him.

The hum got louder and some invisible force nudged her, urging her to leave. Was that the TARDIS? She had never been especially friendly nor hostile towards Roka, but now she tried to force her out of this room. When she looked at her hands there was a bunch of small components in her hands... right... she needed them.

She jerked awake from a nameless nightmare. The drums didn't follow her into the realm of sleep, but sent such horrible dreams that it was impossible to enjoy this downtime. Had the Master to deal with those too? Did Time Lords even dream?

The console room was silent. The Doctor sat in his seat and read some book. Right now there was a weird moment of clarity in Roka's head. The noise only faint, gently stroking her consciousness, and at the same time still loud enough to drown out most thoughts. His pockets. Search his pockets. The coat just hung there. Her hands reached inside, but found nothing. How did he access them? Or were they just normal pockets for once?

Should she try and ask him about the drums? But he would see immediately that something was wrong with her. And with that she would no longer be able to go through with her idea. Maybe if it worked... then she could come back and ask...

Hours went by... days? Roka sat on her table, the room only faintly illuminated by her desk lamp. She wore headphones, blasting some heavy metal through them. It helped... a tiny little bit, although the rhythm distorted those from the songs. And still, sounds came through with their normal clarity, as if the drums weren't a real noise. It weren't her ears that heard them, but the same principle that worked for sound might be also working for her mind. And for his.

Coffee. Way too much of it. Making her head hurt. But sleep only brought nightmares and she wanted this to be done. Her hands clasped a screwdriver, tried to hold still and not shake. It didn't work.

Nightmares, unspoken terrors tearing at her sanity, gone and forgotten the very moment she awoke from them, drowned out by the drums. Hot water, fresh bandages... no wait... it didn't look that bad. A big patch might be enough. Coffee. Back to work.

And finally it was done. A small device resting in her hand. Carefully she took down the headphones and hooked the device behind her ear. With trembling fingers she flicked a small switch and...

It didn't vanish.

But all of a sudden it was so, so much quieter than before. Roka gasped in surprise and it took a while to adjust to it. Her thoughts came rushing back, hammering violently into her head, as did the drums before.

Why had he done this? Why had she run? Would it work? It worked! It was quieter after all! A few adjustments here and there and it might block out the drums completely!

Roka leaped to her feet and almost fell down again. She was so tired, exhausted. But also filled with a sudden excitement.

The library! Now!

No... not yet. There was... the feeling was so strangely familiar it made her laugh. She was hungry. Simply hungry. How long hadn't she eaten anything? It could have been hours or even days. So her steps first went to the kitchen, getting something to fill her growling stomach.

Then to the library!

But as she entered her steps got slower. The whole ordeal must have lasted a few days. A time span she had only been able to endure because there had been enough things to distract her. What about the Master? He had been in her all alone, surrounded only by silence. It wasn't only that she had run, she had also left him here. With the drums. Would he hate her now? It still made not much sense anyway that he liked her at all. Distraction... of course. But was that all? Was she anything else than that? And should it even bother her? Roka knew perfectly well who he was and the Doctor's words came back to her. Yes, she should at least consider that he was only using her. How long would it have taken him to get bored of her? To throw her away without any second thought, without qualms, without...

Maybe... Roka studied her shoes, her mind still not perfectly clear, having no idea where exactly her steps lead her. Maybe it would be better to turn around and leave. As long as she was still able to. Something had changed. She had. The way she felt... towards... No... don't think about it. Turn around. Leave. Maybe...

Roka bumped painfully against something and stumbled back a few steps, shaking her head and finally looked up. Right into the perplex face of the Master.

Seconds passed. An eternity. Both only staring at each other.

The book fell from his hands, landed with a loud thud on the carpet below. The Master was at her faster than she could react and suddenly clutched her so tightly she gasped. Then there were fingers at her temples and slowly the noise vanished, the last drumbeats fainting into nothingness. Now, only silence pressed against her ears, unnatural and unpleasantly. But the Master held her tight the whole time she needed to adjust to it, while the sound of his heartbeats supplanted the drumming.

"I... I'm sorry," he muttered eventually.

Only that. Only those, impossible, words.

A lump sat in her throat all of a sudden and she clutched his shirt tightly, wanted him to just hold her like that for the rest of time. But he already shoved her away to observe her closely, making sure she was alright. Their eyes met and his were filled with worry and warmth alone. Roka stared at him, confused and surprised to see something like that. And it washed away all the doubts she might have had before.

"I thought..." he swallowed and ran a hand over his face. "I mean, I had no idea if you could even... you might be dead, or insane, that's even worse. I didn't know... and the Doctor hasn't seen you either and if he would have forgotten and..."

"Hey, slow down." She raised her hands and stared perplex at him. Gone was the usual cockiness, the