Cold fear

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Roka sat on top of the wall and let her gaze wander over the countless containers. Large, metal crates in different colors, filled with who knows what. But she wasn't after the containments of those. There was only one she was interested in and, if she had heard and remembered it correctly, she knew which of them.

For a while she let her feet dangle, contemplating if she should wait for the night to settle. But the planet's days were nearly twice as long as earth's, so she would have to wait at least another one or two hours. The glimmering orange and faint purple of dusk must be dramatic enough she decided and hopped down to the other side.

In here she had to be more careful though. Outside the crowd and the glitch had protected her, but here she scurried from shadow to shadow, along the rows of metal, careful not to make too much noise.

The container was almost in sight when she heard steps heading into the same direction. Hastily she ran into the deep shadow of an especially large container stack, pressing her back against it. The steps stopped. Had she been heard? In this shadow she should be almost invisible, combined with the glitch it shouldn't be a problem.

But no matter how long she waited the steps didn't continue. That was odd. Had she imagined them? Or had the guard started to sneak? It was no use. She had to move if she ever wanted to reach her target. So she trod carefully and slow, peaking around every corner and waiting inside the shadows longer than maybe necessary. The twilight was as much of a help as a hindrance, making her as blind as everyone else.

She hurried along another row of containers, past its deep shadows, when suddenly hands came out of the dark, grabbing her. One hand was over her mouth, the other around her torso, making it impossible to move. But then she heard a surprised noise and when she looked up, her eyes widened and the man let go of her.

"What the heck are you doing here?" she hissed.

"Could ask you the same," the Master retorted and looked slightly uncomfortable. "You should be long gone."

A roguish grin sprang to her face. "Couldn't resist. I heard there is supposed to be fireworks later on. And they have a whole container full of it."

"And you thought it would be funny to blow it up?" He raised an eyebrow, then grinned back. "You've been around me for too long."

"You're here too... that can only mean you had the same idea." She chuckled and nodded towards the container.

Both moved the rest of the way in silence, but no one else was there to stop them.

"What have you gotten?" Roka hushed.

"Timed detonator. You?"

"Remote inflammable Havkarin fire."

"How in the universe did you get that?"

"Invisibility." She smiled widely.

The Master rolled his eyes and hissed, "Cheater." Then he snatched it out of her hands and threw it into the container, before nodding towards the exit.

They took another way back and snuck out of a hole in a fence, before melting with the crowd. The Master nodded when they were far enough away and Roka pressed the button inside her pocket.

Instantly all heads went up to the sky, where suddenly countless explosions melted with the colors of the sunset, chaotically spreading their noises and lights. Some of the fireworks flew dangerously close, others exploded right above the container deposit. Then there was an ear piercing explosion as probably too many fireworks in a too tiny space went off. A fire got visible at the containers, spreading fast and towards the crowd.

"Oh shit." Roka gaped at the flames and hoped they could be extinguished before they could cause too much damage.

The crowd started to get twitchy and here and there a slight panic spread. The Master grabbed Roka and tore her out of the crowd, before he let go again. They hurried towards the remains of an old stone building near the trees, finally far enough away from any danger.

Then they both burst out into laughter, watching the spreading flames from afar.

"Oh damn, I didn't think it would be that bad." Roka panted, barely stifling another giggle. She had to lean against the wall and looked up to the Master, who was equally amused.

But slowly, as the excitement of the situation settled, she got serious again. Still having her back leaned against the stone she stared up to the stars that begun to appear. Ending this day laughing wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. She closed her eyes and waited.

"Can I still run?" she asked eventually, a small smile playing on her lips. She heard him move and come closer, standing in front of her now.

"Sure," he said calmly. "Although I'd rather you stay."

Roka refused to open her eyes. She didn't want to look at him, didn't want him to read from her face how lost she felt. Not for a second had she planned to really run away. It was no use. Time had no meaning. An eternity passed, none of them moved. And eventually she did open her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked and tried to sound sarcastic. "Want to wait until midnight for the dramatic effect?"

The Master looked down to her, then moved to the side and too leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"It's so obvious," he murmured and shook his head. "How could we both miss it?"

"What... do you mean?"

"Your time line... It will vanish completely if I end your life now."

"I know." Roka looked up at him. "What's new about that?"

"It was right there, the whole time. Right in front of my nose and I couldn't see it." A sudden smile wandered onto his face, before he looked at her. "Tell me... how could you have ever died if you never existed?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again as the meaning of his words sunk into her. Instead she simply blinked a few times, perplex and still not sure she got it right.

"Everything will happen as expected. Reality ripping open, ripples through time and space..." He waved a hand through the air. "You lived too long, so it will be like an explosion, unstoppable. But sooner or later it will go back, simply revert, until everything is undone."

"I... think I understand," Roka mumbled. "But... what about my...?"

"Nothing. It overrides itself. The moment of your death, the moment you haven't existed, like antimatter. You'll just drop dead like everyone else. I can still sense your time stream. There isn't a perceivable moment where it's gone." He pushed himself away from the wall and stood in front of her again, a smile on his face. "You won't vanish. Which also means I don't have to take your life."

She had to close her eyes again. It was too much information at once, too many thoughts racing through her mind. He was right. How could they have missed something so obvious? But if they hadn't... they would have never travelled together. She would have never... abandoned the Doctor.

Her eyes sprang open, snapping upwards to meet the Master's. She gulped and felt guilt and anger and sadness and a whole bunch of other things wash over her in one single moment. This truly changed everything. And in a way it also meant that nothing had changed since the day they had begun this silly game of life and death. This meant...

"You... don't look happy about that. It's a good thing!" He grinned widely at her.

"It means..." Roka mumbled, staring at him. "...we basically never stopped being enemies."

Had it ever stopped though? To her it had definitely felt that way and the Master's dropping face indicated the same. He understood immediately and anger crossed his eyes when he ran a hand over his face with a sigh.

"Forget that idiot," he simply said.

She shook her head. "I can't," she whispered desperately. "He's my friend. I can't just abandon him."

For the span of some heartbeats he simply stared at her. "What else could it be..." he took a step back and stared up to the sky. "Stupid of me to think anything else."

"I... I just want..." Roka tried to find words, but her mind was empty.

The Master didn't move a muscle, didn't say anything else. He glared at her begging eyes, his own slowly filling with anger. For a second he looked at the sky as if it would hold any answers, while the air around them seemed to grow almost tangibly colder. When he looked back at her his eyes were incredibly dark and like ice, drilling into her very soul and making her shiver.

It was the same thing she had felt around him when they had first met. Like a thick aura of darkness, completely engulfing him­. There was not the slightest hint of any expression on his face anymore, not even a spark in his cold, ancient eyes.

As he wordlessly moved back in front of her this feeling grew so thick, it took her breath away for a moment. Maybe it was only a psychic effect, but it didn't seem to be conscious. And suddenly she realized that all this time he had been only playing with her. If, at any moment, he really had intended to scare her, it would have needed nothing more than this.

It was like glaring into a storm tossed ocean, old and powerful, dark and incredibly cold. She pressed her back against the wall as if that thing could give her any kind of protection. Maybe she should run, get out of his reach, but her body was frozen all of a sudden, her heart racing uncontrollably, her eyes widened. It felt like a part of his thoughts were seeping into her mind.

And the only thing left inside her was fear. Not for her life, not for anything she could even name. It was only a primal, completely irrational fear that utterly overwhelmed her.

When he bent down to her his voice was bare of any emotion, foreign. It made her shiver.

"You're awfully stupid to remind your enemy of your intentions," the Master stated, staring her down. "It's your own fault. You chose. Now you won't be of help to anyone."

His hand wandered into his jacket and a moment later held the laser screwdriver. Finally Roka found her voice again, cursing herself for not being able to stabilize it. "Just... let him go," she pleaded, her voice faint and shaking. It was the only thing standing between them. If only he would listen.

But nothing indicated that her words had even reached him. She stared into his frozen eyes, her heartbeat out of control. Her mind was racing, rushing through every possible thing she could say to snap him out of this. Of course, he hated the Doctor. But was it really that bad? Was that even the reason for this, or was there more? If only she could think properly.

Instead her eyes only filled with tears when she watched the Master point the laser at her chest. She didn't want to die. No... she didn't want to leave him. Was this how he was, when no one else was around? Almost like back on that turtle, only that he now was willingly letting go of control over his sanity, was using his own madness to drive him to action.

The thought was unbearable. Her lips moved on their own, muttering her last words. "Don't be so lonely," she pleaded.

His thumb rested on the button, twitched.

Hesitated.

The Master blinked a few times and a slight confusion appeared in his gaze.

"What?"

Roka let out a shaky breath and even managed to get something vaguely resembling a smile onto her lips. "I still have a list wish, don't I? This is it."

Slowly the hand with the laser in it sank down. "That's... nothing I have control over," he said toneless, but the threatening aura faded a little. He leaned closer to tower above her. "But I also don't need someone around me that could stab me in the back at every moment."

"Then just let him..."

"No! He is exactly where I need him! Far away, unable to sabotage my life with his stupid heroism. And you!" he snapped. "Don't be such an idiot."

"What do you expect?" she asked shakily. "I'm not someone who leaves people behind. I don't betray the ones I call my friends."

"That makes you a rare kind." A moment passed before he put the laser screwdriver back into his jacket. But before Roka could breathe a sigh of relieve she saw that he had gotten out a thin, long knife instead. "You know what... you were a fine distraction. You deserve better treatment. A better death." He stepped closer and pressed her against the wall behind with one hand, before he grabbed the zipper of her jacket and opened it halfway. She froze completely. "Always liked that one." He spoke slow, savoring the sound of his own words. "You can't know it... but a heart is very sturdy. If you stab it... but not completely through, just scratch the surface so to speak..." Now he opened the first few buttons of her blouse. "...your heart will continue for a long while. Pumping out your blood until you run dry. Beat... by... beat." A sickening smile appeared on his face. "Fascinating, isn't it?"

Roka couldn't respond. He wasn't really doing that, right? After all their time together... after he had been so relieved about not having to kill her... But no, his eyes told a different story. He would enjoy this, would laugh when she would cry out in pain, watch silently as the last bits of life dripped out of her veins.

The cold edge lowered onto her skin, making her wince. It sat right above her heart, in a perfect angle to slide through the gaps of her ribs. How often had he done this already, she wondered. When she stared up to him there was still nothing, even the smile from before had vanished again.

He stretched out two fingers and slid them over her eyelids, closing them.

"What a pity that you chose the wrong side," he almost whispered. "But you were expecting death anyway."

Roka didn't try to steady her heartbeat. It would only slow down the process. She couldn't move, partially because she was frozen and also because he pressed her too tight against the wall to struggle.

And a moment later she sucked in a sharp breath as the edge cut deep into her skin, drawing a small circle. Without thinking her hands grabbed the arm that was pinning her to the wall. The knife reappeared again, almost at the same spot, leaving another burning hot circle, so deep she felt it scratching her bone, making her whimper. He was playing with her. And never before in her life had she felt such a pain. It made her numb, dizzy, and she could no longer tell what he was doing.

It even took her some moments to realize the knife to be gone eventually. Only when there was a tug at her blouse did she open her eyes, seeing him buttoning it up again.

Confused she lifted her head to see a nasty grin on his face as he straightened and dramatically licked some of her blood from the blade, before he carelessly dropped it to the ground.

Her hand wandered to her chest, feeling blood leaking through the cloth. Everything was so incredibly foggy, her head so dizzy. Instinctively she reached out and clutched the Master's jacket, holding onto it, while desperately trying to stay conscious.

"How can you chase after danger, when you can't even stand such a small injury?" he asked, his voice oozing with sarcasm. "Not being used to that, hm? And I didn't even cut that deep. Barely scratched your bones."

"What did you..." Roka tried to ask, but suddenly felt sick.

He put a hand under her chin to make her look at his grin. "I still own your life, remember? That means I can play with it all the way I want. And also take it whenever I desire."

She didn't understand.

"Let's play a little game together... just you and I." The grin got malevolent and his voice was cold.

Roka looked down at her bloody shirt. The stains formed a bunch of lines and circles. A Gallifreyan symbol. Even more confused she looked back up.

"It's my name," the Master said calmly. "You asked for it, so I marked you. As my prey. As my... possession."

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