Chapter 30.

*****

I let my head fall back against the wall as I watched Jordan dance with a girl. It was amusing; he was very drunk, as was she. They were grinding on each other like they were alone, touching like they were about to take their clothes off and I could bet that neither of them even knew each other's names. Add that to occasional stumbling and I would say it was about time he got home. Shiloh or Claire would have to drive him because he was probably too wasted to find his car's ignition. Good thing they all came in one car: Jordan's.

Scratch that, Shiloh's wasted too. It's all on Claire. What was it with end of semester parties and college students? I was clueless and I was one of them.

I had sold all the drugs Sergio had given me and now I was just stalling calling them to pick me up. There wasn't much to do here, but it was better than being there. I had danced a little and hung out with some people I knew from my classes for a while, but watching Jordan and Shiloh had proven quite entertaining.

"Alex!" I hugged Claire as she threw her arms around my shoulders and squeezed me tightly. She groaned as she leaned on the wall next to me and rested her head against my shoulder, "Stupid me. I was hoping we could get some midnight pizza somewhere but look at them." She motioned to Shiloh who was pretty much asleep on a couch not far from us in the corner of the room, cuddling a cushion as he held his beer.

"I think you should take them home." I said, "But I need pictures first." I pulled my phone out. She shoved me laughing as I snapped a few pictures of Shiloh that would later be used as blackmail reference. "Ah – J." I laughed as Jordan licked the girl's hair and I caught the moment in a picture. "That is... disgusting..." I mumbled looking at the picture I had just taken. He had no idea where she had been and for all she knows, she could just have let someone with herpes lick her.

"Yes. I should take them home before he licks anything worse." She grabbed my hand but stopped. "Oh crap..." he mumbled surprised.

"Hey, Alex. Claire." I turned to see the reason for Claire's reaction.

"James." I replied. "You'll have to excuse us, we have some people to attend to." I added pulling Claire towards her boyfriend. She tried to wake him but he didn't move except for groaning and swatting her hand away. I shook my head laughing and grabbed his arm to pull it over my shoulder before I lifted him out of his seat.

"Need help?"

"We're fine." I said stumbling under Shiloh's weight before I got used to it just in time to see Jordan collapse onto a couch and begin lazily making out with the girl he was dancing with. Damn it.

"There's no way you can carry both Jordan and Shiloh." Claire said.

"I'll get him." James laughed as he walked over to Jordan. I left Claire and James to get Jordan as I made my way outside with Shiloh.

I frowned as Shiloh as I dragged him outside wondering just how much he had had to drink because he did not get drunk easily. I shoved him against Claire's car and his eyes opened a little. He grinned at me and I covered his mouth. I really was not interested in what drunken Shiloh had to say at the moment. He blinked before he licked my hand.

"Ugh, Shiloh –!" I grimaced pulling my hand back and wiping it on my shirt.

"I love you, Alex." he grinned before shutting his eyes again. I was going to smack him but Claire grabbed my wrist and gave me an apologetic smile.

I rolled my eyes as Claire unlocked her car and I shoved her boyfriend into the backseat before I helped take Jordan from James and shoved him in beside Shiloh.

"I'll drive you home." Claire said to me.

"Yeah – thanks for the help." I wasn't going to let her drop me off, I just needed to get away from James and I would have to help her drop Shiloh and Jordan off. I would take a walk back to the house or call Clyde from her house.

"Wait." James said. Claire and I waited for him to speak but he just looked at her. She rolled her eyes before frowning at him, shooting me a look and getting into her car. James smiled at me. "How have you been?" he asked.

"Great." I replied with a smile.

"Oh, because –"

"Yeah, I'm in a hurry." I cut him off. He sighed.

"Alright, I'll get to the point: I... I missed you... Go out with me, Alex?" He said.

I raised my brows and heard Claire give a laugh of disbelief.

"James. It's been four years. We're different people now." I said.

"I've tried to move on, but I can't. You were ever –"

"You didn't have a problem moving on when you were with him." Claire rolled her window down.

"What she said. Thanks for the help, goodbye James." He grabbed my hand when I tried to leave.

"I made a mistake. Okay, mistakes! Like you said, we're different people now. I just... I'm asking for another chance. Let me apologise, let me fix it. What we had is –" He was saying.

"You already apologised, and I accepted it. Trust me, it's fixed. I've moved on." I patted his shoulder.

"Yes, he has a boyfriend." Claire inserted. I wanted to laugh at how she kept trying to help me here.

"A boyfriend?" James asked, his jaw dropped. "Sergio?" he hissed.

"No. I have to get home." I climbed into Claire's car. We didn't glance at James as she began driving.

"Who's Sergio?"

"Some guy I was talking to in the library when I ran into him the other day."

"Why have I not heard of him?" She frowned.

I chuckled. "Claire. It's James. I'm not with every person I talk to. I was helping the kid, first year." I shrugged.

She laughed. "So? How's Diego? Shiloh says he thinks you're into him."

"Ha..." My voice came out as a very feminine squeak and I cleared it, "I... I guess..." I mumbled.

"Oh my gosh! Since when do you tell Shiloh about things like this before you tell me?! He's so cute, and he seems really nice! Oh, you two would be so great together. I mean, you would probably have to Google tips on how to date someone because it's been so long, but I'm so happy for you –"

"Whoa, calm down, Claire. I like him; I'm not going to do anything about it."

"Why not?" she shot me a glare.

"Well... for one, he's not nice. Not at all. And second... He doesn't like me." I shrugged.

"Doesn't like you?" She frowned, "Please, Alex. What's not to like? Even I would be with you and not Shiloh if you would be with anything without a dick." We laughed, "Of course I would eventually end up with him because of you have the emotional intelligence of a rock – not the point. You're awesome, he has to like you. So what if he's a bit of a jerk?" I frowned at her before I shook my head.

"No, Claire. You don't understand, he's a bad person. He's terrible. He's so much more than a jerk..."

"He might be, but you wouldn't like him if that was all he was, would you Alex?" she smiled at me as she stopped in front of Jordan and my apartment.

I smiled at her.

"Everyone's a little bit of a jerk sometimes... If you like him it's because you know there's more to him than that, and that's enough to make me say you should tell him how you feel." She said.

No, it's not enough. She didn't understand, of course she couldn't... Shiloh might since he knew about everything.

I got out of the car and grabbed Jordan from the backseat before I took him into the house and locked up with my key. We drove to Sergio's apartment and I dropped him in his room before I locked his door and slid the key under it.

"So, where am I taking you?" Claire asked.

"I'm getting a taxi." I said, she frowned at me. "Come on, I have to make sure you're home safe." I smiled.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm in a car."

"You'll get hijacked." I said.

She rolled her eyes and I chuckled. We settled into a random conversation as she drove and my eyes moved to a car that was trailing behind us. Clyde?

"You can drop me off at the store, I need something to eat." I said.

"When don't you need something to eat?"

I shoved her gently as we laughed while she stopped in front of the store.

"Be careful, Alex." She said as she hugged me.

"Uh-huh. You too. See you later." I got out of her car and shut the door. She drove off when I turned around and waved and I watched her car disappear around the corner before Clyde's car came to a stop in front of me. The window rolled down and Clyde glared at me from the driver's seat.

"You were supposed to call us when you were at the party." He said.

"I had things to do." I replied getting into the passenger seat and dropping the bag that had carried the drugs on the back seat. We were alone. I assumed Sergio was with his family.

"You're so damn stubborn..." he muttered to himself as he began driving. I shrugged before I bit my lip and looked at him. His mood hadn't changed from earlier, he still looked relaxed. He was absolutely fine.

"What's it like for you?" I asked. He glanced at me raising his eyebrows in question. "How... You killed Kyle... and then you all acted like it was nothing, like it didn't even happen... how can you do that? How can you feel nothing?"

I watched him sigh. "It's not that we feel nothing, it's just that... well. The thing is, it's like I said; I take care of the people I care about, the people my family care about. I hate taking someone's life, Alex, but I don't regret it. Like Sergio said to you earlier it was him or it was you." He said.

I stared at him.

"You were eavesdropping?" I frowned. "A few weeks ago YOU wanted to kill me..." I drifted.

He smirked at me once he had driven the car into the house's garage.

"Now you know how would have acted if I had." I frowned at him and he chuckled, "You grew on me." He said, "I have no idea why, because you're an idiot." I broke a smile as he shook his head getting out of his car. I followed his lead and gave him a smile as I shut his car door.

"You grew on me too, Clyde." I said. He chuckled before his smile fell.

"While we're saying shit," I laughed, "I'm sorry." He said.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry I dragged you into this and used your friends to threaten you. Sorry I told Sergio you could sell at school."

"It was this or death." I shrugged, "Besides, I..." I drifted. "My friends are okay, so it's cool." I grinned.

I walked into the house before Clyde could question my odd behaviour.

I ran my hand through my hair as I walked past a dining room full of Sergio's men and made my way upstairs. It was around one in the morning. What were they doing here?

This was getting to me. Besides, I wouldn't have met you or Sergio if you hadn't dragged me into this. How could I even think that? Like all of this was okay because without it I wouldn't have met them. What's wrong with me...? It's him... It's Sergio. I know it's him. I need to get away from him. He's messing with my head, my standards and my morals!

Damn it, Alexander. How could I feel anything but loathe for him after everything he's done? It didn't make any sense. There was nothing to like about the man.

Well... that's a lie...

I sat on my bed and sighed picturing him leaning against the bathroom door's frame, that smug smirk on his face. He had such a nice smile and laugh... and eyes... and when he was being nice, he always seemed a little shy, which didn't suit him but made him cute –

Oh my God. Stop.

I grit my teeth angry at myself.

"What's got you glaring holes through my walls?"

I looked at Sergio and almost laughed at the fact that he was leaning against the bathroom door frame, his arms crossed. The only thing missing was his smirk. I couldn't really read his face beyond his creased eyebrows. He looked like he was thinking hard.

"What do you think?" I asked with a frown.

He sighed. "You sold everything?" He was wrong. He thought I was thinking about the drugs. I wish I was.

"Yeah. Clyde's got your money." I replied.

"So. James. In the library the other day, what was that about?" he asked.

"I don't have to answer that."

"You do." He said, "It could be the difference between me letting you go or not." He said seriously.

"What's it got to do with you?" I asked. He didn't reply, "He's a friend of mine from high school. So I can leave?"

"I didn't say that." He smirked.

"Sergio." I glared at him.

"You're holding back anyway."

"My life has nothing to do with you." I said.

"Maybe not before I met you, but it does now."

"Sergio – come on!" I glared at the door as it shut behind him muffling his laugh.

I hated him.

Damn it.

I hated that I couldn't hate him.

*****