***TW:  Graphic scene of sexual assault depicted***

That could've been because my entire arm was pressed against Colton's, and the entire bus was staring at us as if they were watching a zoo exhibit.

"You're going on a date with Colton? Since when are you two a thing?"

Mori's shock was palpable as I opened my mouth to explain but Colton beat me to the punch.

"Since I asked her out for this weekend. My boy Carter needs someone too."

"Yeah, come on Mo-mo. Not gonna leave a guy hanging like that, are you?" Carter asked my best friend who I was sure had immediately gone silent and beet red underneath that deep colored skin of hers.

Mo-mo?  What did he think she was, a flying fucking lemur?

Before I could say anything to keep her from accepting the offer from the bully who often made our lives hell, Mori agreed to his offer for a date this weekend.  

Was I in the Twilight Zone?

All of this occurred whilst Parker was staring dumbfounded at the scene unfolding in front of him. 

What, he didn't think I would already be involved with someone?  Was I just the poor, smart orphan to him who he would be doing a favor by paying some attention to?

All of a sudden, the landscape changed and the actual events of the day before morphed into something gruesome and grotesque, something out of a horror movie as Colton became deformed and dangerous. 

His smile deepened until it resembled a circus clown's. 

His teeth sharpened into knife points, serrated and jagged and dripping with blood, my blood, as he sunk his fangs into the skin of my neck. 

I jolted awake with a harsh scream that jostled Colton who had been laying underneath my arm, hence why it had fallen asleep and was filled with pins and needles.

"Are you okay?  What's wrong?"

His sleep-filled voice filled the silent air around us, gruff and groggy and something that I usually found to be sexy, but in the aftermath of the terrifying dream I'd had of him, it only made me shiver with disgust.

"Fine.  Go back to sleep."

"I would but I can't go back to sleep once I wake up.  You know why?"

I groaned internally, because yes, I did know exactly why.  

Every single time Colton woke up, whether it was from a ten minute nap or full eight hour sleep, he always had a boner.  Every time.  And he always expected me to do something about it. 

"Yes, I know why.  Can't you just ignore it?"

"And get blue balls?  I don't think so.  Come on, you're the one who woke me up, so it's your job to fix it."

"Fix it?  You want me to 'fix' it?"

He wasn't usually this much of an asshole.  

I didn't know what he would do if I refused him, but he'd basically gone public with us earlier that day, so maybe saying no when I'd never said it before wouldn't screw me over. 

"Well, yeah.  Come on babe.  I'm dying over here."

To make his point, he found my hand that was still tingling and half numb and placed it on said boner. 

And while, yes, it was a very average and nice member he had in his boxers, I didn't necessarily want anything to do with it. 

Especially not after we'd had sex earlier in the night before going to sleep. 

"Colton," I groaned, trying to pull my hand away but he held firm, rubbing himself against my hand like a dog in heat humping anything it could get its hands on. 

"You see what you do to me, baby?  Please, I promise I'll be quick."

He wouldn't be quick, not unless we had sex, which I didn't want to do considering I was still sore from the first time. 

If I didn't want sex, he'd demand a blow job, because 'hand jobs are for pussies' according to him. 

"I'm tired, Colton," I said, trying to pull my hand away yet again, but he brought his other hand around and locked his fingers around my wrist in an iron grip, subduing me as effectively as if he had handcuffed me to his dick. 

"Colton."

I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"Cami."

"Let go of my hand."

"Come on babe, you're the one who woke me up with your bad dream.  Why don't I help you forget about it for a little bit?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. 

"Because I'm tired and I have so much work to do tomorrow it's not even funny.  I'm sorry I woke you up, I couldn't really help my bad dream."

The sheets rustled, and suddenly I was rolled onto my stomach as soon as his hands left me. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'll give you a massage, help you calm down from your bad dream."

His hands started rolling smooth circles into my skin, and I huffed out a conceding breath. 

"That's--you don't have to do that," I tried to get out but it sounded choppy with the karate chop motions he was performing against my back.

"Yes, I do.  Gotta keep my baby happy."

I rolled my eyes into the pillow even as a small smile overtook my lips.  That was kind of cute. 

His hands trailed down further along my lower back until he reached my ass, and then it became more about that than the actual massage. 

I could feel when it turned inherently sexual immediately. 

His hands pushed away the material of my sleep shorts and my underwear beneath, his fingers teasing along the line of my panties. 

My body immediately seized up. 

"Colton, what are you doing?"

"Come on, it'll be good for you.  You need a good massage--in here," he said as soon as he slipped a finger inside me. 

It felt good, but I didn't want it to.  I really was tired, and I didn't want Colton to keep acting like my boundaries were unimportant and that my protests were valid. 

I didn't want to be convinced to have sex, I wanted to want it with my very being and beg for it, not endure it and just wait for it to be over, which was usually how it went with us. 

I was tired of it.  Tired of him...but how could I tell him that without him kicking me out on the streets, and then where would that leave me?

I'd have my dignity, my pride, but I wouldn't have a warm bed to sleep in, food in my belly, a hot shower ready for me whenever I needed it, a washer and dryer for my clothes, and so much more. 

It was the little things that made the homelessness feel so pitiful.  It was having no clean underwear or having to free bleed on your period because you couldn't afford tampons or pads.  

It was washing your hair with hand soap in public bathrooms and using the super sonic air dryers which created a myriad of tangles. 

It was worrying about that small cut on your finger and if it got infected and not knowing where you'd go or how you'd pay for the medical attention to make sure you didn't die from it. 

It was a hell of a lot worse than someone coercing you to have sex that you kind of didn't want at the moment. 

Still, the feel of his hot breath against my shoulder made me shudder, even as the dual pulse of pleasure from his fingers stirred something deep inside me. 

His thumb circled the spot at the apex of my thighs and I trembled. 

I didn't want to.  I really didn't want to, but I orgasmed right on his hand, against my brain telling me that it was wrong and that I should've held out.  Should've pushed him right off me and told him the hell with what he wanted, but still I let it happen. 

Did that make me weak?  Pathetic? 

I felt dirty. 

His hand retracted, and I felt him pulling the waistband of my sleep shorts down, along with my underwear. 

I started squirming beneath his considerable weight. 

I had let him push past enough of my boundaries for the night. 

"Colton, no."

"What?  You weren't saying no a second ago."

I felt him at my entrance, hard and ready, and panic shot through my blood. 

"I said no!  I'm tired, I don't want to have sex right now.  I'm still sore from earlier.  No!"

"It'll only hurt at first.  Calm down," he said, gripping my hips tightly to keep me from moving out of his grasp. 

I bucked and writhed against him, my hands flying up to slap his out of the way, but before I could get him to stop, he entered me in one quick thrust, and my resolve faded completely. 

He was already there, doing what he wanted, taking what he wanted, and a little piece of me withered and died right there on the bed with me. 

Sweat dripped off his body onto mine as he relentlessly took and took and took and I laid there and took it, silent tears streaming from my eyes. 

His cry of ecstasy mingled with mine of despair, and he kissed the center of my back before rolling over and falling asleep. 

I shivered in my nakedness until dawn painted the sky an alabaster blue.