Beep. Beep. Beep.

My eyelids slowly parted, allowing in the harsh light and noise all around me. My tongue felt dry and my stomach felt empty.

My stomach felt empty.

In a heartbeat, I tried to thrust my body upwards but a nurse placed her hands on my shoulders, saying something to me that I couldn't quiet make out.

"Harper, Harper." Her voice tuned into my ears. "You're recovering from a major surgery, lay back down, rest and I'll check your stats."

"Where's my baby?" I demanded, trying once again to sit up even though it caused me the world of pain to move.

"He's fine. He's with his father." The nurse answered, offering me the trace of a smile. I relaxed back into the mattress and breathed.

"He's okay?" Admittedly, I didn't expect him to be.

Alls I remember was my waters breaking and a whole world of pain coming crashing in. Axel stood motionless with shock and so my friends snapped into action all around him.

Nate used Axels phone to call me an ambulance.
Nicole got me off of my feet and kept me calm. Caitlin packed up some bags for the hospital and Holly tried to console Axel.

I don't remember much else, except the ride here. I felt like every tiny bump in the road brought on a new contraction.

I looked up at the nurse, she fiddled with my paperwork and collected up medical items.

"Your baby is stable." She answered. "For now."

That didn't sound too promising.

She wrapped a blood pressure wrist band around my arm and started pumping it to a tight squeeze.

"For now?" I repeated, my whole stomach dropping with dread.

"He's on the NICU unit in an incubator cot. He is eleven weeks early Harper but he came out with a good set of lungs on him, crying, so that's promising.

He does need help with his breathing but right now he's stable. With premature babies this young things can change in an instant but for now he's doing really well and he's getting the best care so hopefully as the days go on he'll just continue down that path."

I tried to get up again, my mind set on seeing him.

"Harper, you can't move yet. You're very heavily medicated and you just came out of surgery a few hours ago. I'll get you a wheelchair and take you down to see them but I have to do your stats first."

"What the hell even happened?"

"Your placenta ruptured and your waters broke. We had no choice but to perform an emergency Caesarean section to ensure the safe delivery of your baby boy. You lost a lot of blood during your surgery and we weren't sure if you were going to make it. Obviously your baby has inherited his strength from his mommy." She smiled warmly at me but I didn't say anything because I felt too guilty.

Guilty for complaining about my pregnancy, about how uncomfortable it was to share my body, how selfish was I?

"Your husband has been quite the meddler." She flicked my drip machine a few times and then smiled at me.

"What?" I asked, my voice expelling out the irritation that I felt for myself.

"Yes, I believe he's been giving the nurses a hard time on the NICU unit. He's very protective and very demanding."

I smiled to myself, "Yes, that sounds like Axel."

"Axel?" My eyes sharpened on her. "The man who has been watching over your baby is named Finley but he calls himself the commander."

"What!" I sat up, gasping for air.

"Harper?" My eyes settled on Axel in the corner, a small bundle of blue tucked up into his arms. "You're okay Harper, you're really high right now and you're dipping in and out of consciousness."

"The commander?" I forced out in a raspy voice.

"He's not here, I wouldn't let him anywhere near us. Shhh, look." He whispered, bringing himself closer to my bedside and lowering his arms down so I could see the face of my baby.

Gently he placed him in my arms. This tiny baby, with tubes in his nose and fine dark hairs wispy on his head. He was perfect.

I started crying.

"He looks like you." I pointed out, taking in the sweetest of his features. His button nose, the windy expression on his face and his delicate little eyelashes that fluttered with his dreams.

"He looks like you, he's a mix of us both." Axel replied and I laughed.

"He looks like a prune." His face was almost too big for him, all wrinkled and new. He had that baby smell and I wanted to smother him with love.

"He has to stay in his incubator cot, we can only hold him for up to an hour but he's doing well, he's strong."

"He doesn't have a name." After meeting him and knowing everything he's been through, a name seemed really important. He should have a name.

"He kinda does Harper." Axel looked a little nervous, chewing down on his lip minimally. "They wanted a name for him and you've been on and off awake for two days. I named him Evander because it means strong and boy is he strong."

I glanced down at my beautiful little boy and beamed. I think my happiness shined so brightly that people on the other side of the hemisphere could witness my glow.

"Hi Evander, I'm your mommy and I'm going to take such good care of you. You're going to have endless toys, many friends and a whole load of people who love you endlessly."

I glanced up at Axel, he was watching me attentively, holding affection in his eyes for his new little family.

"Your daddy is going to be very protective of you, I can already tell because he loves you so much but don't worry, I'll work with him on his people skills so he doesn't scare away anyone wanting to get close to you."

"Aren't you scared?" Axel asked with genuine curiosity. "We're responsible for his whole entire life, doesn't that terrify you?"

"Of course I'm scared but I have the foundations already laid, I love him so I'll just go from there."

He was quiet, dwelling over his own thoughts.

"What if I'm not good enough to be a father?" The doubts that his father poisoned him with clearly plagued his mind. "What if I fail him or don't live up to his expectations?"

"You will be the best father, don't listen to those penetrating thoughts, they are spoken in your fathers voice Axel.

He was mentally manipulative and abusive your whole life and now you get to break that cycle. You get to learn from our son that you are enough. That you have always been enough."

He nodded, clearly swallowing a knot of emotion down his throat. If I'm not mistaken, his eyes welled with tears that he wouldn't let fall.

"I hope so." Was everything that he could reply, spoken in a broken voice. "Let me put him back in his cot, I don't want him to get cold."

He slipped him back inside his incubator and held his tiny hand through the cut out circles in his cot. It was almost comical at how big and strong Axels hand was compared to his junior.

"Do you have any doubts about wanting to leave your role as Lieutenant?"

I felt nervous to hear his answer. Being Lieutenant, living on the bootcamp and dishing out orders is all Axel has ever known. Suddenly he's been thrown into the deep end without a paddle.

In an instant his life changed to something he'd be unable to recognise. A father, a partner, living somewhere deep in the suburbs. I understood the huge adjustment he would have to make to give us the life that he promised.

"Not at all. I have no regrets about becoming a father, I don't doubt my choice to leave my job and I want, more than anything, to share my life with you."

He pushed the hair away from my forehead and kissed me softly.

"That ring, my mothers ring — it belongs on your finger Harper."

My smile widened because throughout my life I had never felt so whole, happy and stable as I did right now.

I was always a loose cannon, unable to be tied down with rules or even by the law, just a criminal heading down a destructive path.

He was the Lieutenant, destroying himself to be someone else's idea of perfect and yet - never feeling good enough.

Who would've thought that those opposites would balance one another out enough to make the perfect match?

Our plan was simple, we would raise Evander at bootcamp until I had finished out my sentence, then we would leave, never looking back.

Start over somewhere else just us - the criminal, the Lieutenant & our beautiful baby boy.

Marching on, together.

The End.