To put it simply, I felt horrible. I felt like the biggest jerk ever and I knew Axel didn't deserve this. To be honest, Axel had been nothing but nice to me and he didn't deserve the way I often treated him. Knowing that, I wondered why I was so stubborn and uptight around him. I wasn't like that naturally, so I didn't understand. With Axel being a nice guy, I didn't understand my actions.

    Groaning, I knew for sure that I had to apologize. But, it had to be something big. I couldn't just say sorry after he had given me the book and hadn't talked to me in days. So then, I was left to think of something.

    "Zoey!" Mom yelled from downstairs. "Wake up! School is going to start soon."

   With Mom's voice so loud and clear, I remembered what she constantly told me. Guys wanted girls for their bodies. They were only into the physical aspects of a girl. So maybe I couldn't give him an object, but I could give him a small part of me that no one else would ever get. That seemed to be a suitable apology gift, so I grinned.

*****

    I wondered why I went with my plan, knowing I was against physical contact with people who weren't my boyfriend. But I was oddly desperate and really upset about hurting Axel, so I was willing to do about anything. With Axel ignoring me for the past few days, I just wanted him to go back to his old ways of trying to catch my attention.

   I didn't have much of a plan, but I knew where Axel was so I walked outside and went to our usual spot. My heart was racing with anticipation and I tried to think of something intimate that would earn me forgiveness. To be quite honest, I wasn't thinking clearly and I knew this was a rash decision, but I just couldn't think straight with Axel avoiding me. It honestly hurt and I just couldn't bare it. I was embarrassed to admit this, but by now I knew he meant something to me.

    Soon, I spotted Axel sitting with his back pressed against the school. His head was hung low and his hair had fallen over his face. He seemed to be sleeping and I stopped near him, unsure of if I should disturb him. Axel looked at peace, so I felt guilty if I did.

But suddenly, he looked up as if he had sensed me. His head flew to me and he looked genuinely surprised when he saw me. I didn't blame him because I wasn't the type to approach others first, especially if we were in a fight. I expected them to apologize, so this was also a first.

Remembering the plan, I walked up to him and fell to my knees. My cheeks immediately went red as I looked at him, wondering what I should do. What is something a guy would consider a gift that would make them proud? It had to be something they could see, so an idea popped into my mind.

Staring at his vivid, blue eyes, I said, "I'm sorry."

I then placed my hands on his shoulders and moved closer. His body tensed as my face neared his lips and before I knew it, my lips were at the corner of his mouth. I kissed him lightly there, making sure not to touch his lips. That was my apology for being a jerk. It was almost like actually kissing, so I hoped he would forgive me.

Axel gasped and I found his body freezing under my touch. He was awfully warm, but I enjoyed it. Feeling just how alive he was was something that brought warmth to me as I felt awkward, kissing him like this.

But all of the sudden, Axel grabbed my upper arms and pushed me away. I looked at him and saw that his eyes were wide. His pupils were blown wide and his cheeks were tinted pink. I blushed, but a sort of proud feeling welled up in me, knowing I had did this to Axel. With my lips, I had gotten him flustered. Maybe this wasn't as uncomfortable as it seemed.

"What are you doing?" Axel asked, still in shock.

"I'm sorry," I said. "That's my apology."

"Zoey, are you serious?" His eyes hardened slightly. "You've got to be kidding me."

Taken aback, my eyes widened. Blush ran into my cheeks, but from embarrassment this time. My heart stung.

    "I... What do you mean?" I asked, nervous.

    "You told me you're against touching. Especially touching someone who isn't your boyfriend," he scolded. "What are you doing now?"

   I couldn't believe he was scolding me. Any guy would be lucky to be this close to me and I had kissed him. I had basically actually kissed him and my future boyfriend wouldn't even get that until a year after we dated. Axel should be thrilled and I couldn't believe he was acting like this.

    "I'm putting myself out there for you," I shot back, annoyed. "I know what guys like so I was doing you a favour. Why are you mad?"

    "I'm not mad," Axel said, his voice turning gentle. "I'm just so confused. Why are you doing this?"

    "It's an apology."

    "You could just say sorry." To my surprise, Axel began to stroke my hair. "You didn't need to do this."

    Feeling humiliated, I found myself turning defensive. I wanted to prove my reasoning behind my random actions, so words began to tumble out of my mouth.

    "I know, but guys like this. You gave me a gift so I wanted to give you one back, so I knew you'd like this. Guys are into the physical aspects of girls," I said, almost rambling. "I thought you'd enjoy this as much as I enjoyed the book you gave me. Axel, I just want you to forgive me completely. You leaving me just left me really insane."

   It was true. Axel forgetting about me had led me to thinking about him constantly. My eyes kept going to him in class and I kept wishing for him to talk to me, but he never did. It hurt and because of that, I ended up here. And even though I was humiliated, seeing Axel so gentle like this made it worth it.

    "I'm sorry. I was offended, but I was never mad," Axel said. "But listen here, Zoey. Don't ever force yourself to do something that you don't believe in. Don't ever pretend to be someone you aren't, especially for others. You believe in keeping the physical aspects of a relationship sacred, so stick to that. It's okay."

    "Why are you telling me this?" I asked, curious.

   "Because I know how much it sucks to pretend to be someone you're not." He gave me a sad smile. "It's not fun and if you have morals, stick by them and don't let anyone change them. They're what make you special."

    I stared at Axel, wondering about him. I wondered what made him look so sad and suddenly, I wanted to hug him. There was nothing more I wanted than to hold him and learn more about this boy I was growing very fond of.

   "I'm sorry," I said. "I won't ever force myself to do something I don't believe in to please others. I made a mistake thinking I had to do it for you."

    "Good," he said. "I like you the way you are."

    I smiled, touched. "Can I hug you?"

   Axel's eyebrows raised and I laughed lightly. I had completely lied when I said Axel was not up to my standard.

    "I want to hug you," I said. "I'm not changing to please others. I just really want to."

   Axel threw his arms open and grinned. My heart warmed up and I liked the feeling. I liked how fuzzy I felt.

    "Come here," Axel said.

    I grinned and threw myself at him, hugging him. He hugged me back and we just sat there for minutes, holding each other. It was nice, I had to admit. Being here with this boy was really, really nice.