Fred

I looked down at Alexis's head in my lap, sighing as I raked my fingers through her hair.

Alexis had been beating herself up for a week now, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to deter her from doing so. I'd tried reassuring her of the fact that it wasn't her fault, that we couldn't control it, but she was going through it, and it didn't register with her.

She couldn't sleep. She'd gotten a total of maybe four hours of decent sleep since we'd found out. 

And I felt helpless.

I was terrified of moving, even a muscle. I didn't want to wake her, considering this was the only rest she'd actually gotten.

I grabbed my phone, turning it on. I scrolled down to Dad's contact, biting down on my bottom lip.

Do I tell him?

Alexis was dead asleep, considering the lack of sleep for the past week. I figured I could call him and keep it down.

I dialed his number, holding my phone up to my ear. It was a random hour of the night, but sometimes, Santiago King's guidance was the only thing I'd settle for.

"Are you okay?" He answered, and I could hear him shifting in the bed.

"Y-yeah," I answered, rubbing Alexis's hair, "sorry. I didn't want to wake you."

"I'm walking downstairs, give me a second."

I gave him the second he asked for, letting out a sigh when I heard his voice again.

"What's the dilemma?"

I leaned my head back against the headboard, closing my eyes. "We lost the baby."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone. I rubbed my eyes with my free hand, looking down at Alexis.

"I'm so sorry, Fred," he whispered.

"You've known Lex since she was, what, fifteen?" I asked, keeping my eyes glued to her.

"Long time," he answered.

"And you know how she's always been so happy? So lively, so bubbly?"

He chuckled a silent chuckle. "Yeah. I do."

"She's not that, Dad," I whispered, my voice breaking.

He stayed silent.

"I've never seen her like this, and she thinks it's her fault," I said, wiping the tear from my cheek, "and I've done everything I can to reassure her, but it's just not working. And I don't know what else I can do."

"Your abuela," he began, "she had a miscarriage between me and Mateo."

I knitted my brows together. I'd never heard of a miscarriage between them.

"And of course, I was too young to remember, but Dad said that broke her like nothing else ever has. Okay, it's going to to take a while, but she'll heal."

I nodded. "Yeah, I really hope."

"How are you?"

I bit down on my lip to stop my lip from quivering, pulling myself together. "Well, I'm hurting, Dad."

"That was your boy, you have every reason to hurt," he said.

I squeezed my eyes shut, nodding. "Yeah."

"I don't know what I'd do without my boys," he said, "you're a stronger man than me."

I sniffled, trying to hide the fact that I was in tears. "I want to be a Dad. I want to have to yell at my kids to get my point across. I want to build them a treehouse. I want to get them a dog that they grow up with."

"And I'm firm believer in the fact that that'll come," he said, "I really believe it, Fred. Maybe now just wasn't your time."

"I sure as hell wish it would've been, that's for damn sure." 

"It'll all work out, I promise."

I looked over at the clock, realizing I'd kept him up longer than he needed to be. "I'm going to try to get some sleep. You should go back to bed."

"Eh, I'm awake now," he said, "thanks to you."

I chuckled, leaning my head back. "Yeah. I can't wait for my son to wake me up at three A.M."

"Oh, it'll happen," he said, "and you'll start using Lex's eye cream to make your under eyes look less sunken in."

I laughed, rubbing my eyes. "Damn, I need some sleep."

"Yeah, you do," he responded, "but I'm always here. I don't care what time it is."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know you are."

"I love you, son," he said.

I looked down at Alexis, sighing. "I love you, too, Dad."

~*~

Jo

"Hey," I greeted, smiling as Fred stepped out of the elevator.

"Hey," he sighed, shooting me a weak smile.

I'd taken Fred's rather lively personality for granted over the years. I'd realized that much.

"How is she?" I asked, walking with him to his office.

He nodded, looking over at me. "I felt okay leaving her, since Lena's there."

I nodded. "Yeah, she wanted to spend some time with her."

He sat on the edge of his desk. "Well, I appreciate it."

"Do you feel okay?" I asked, leaning against the wall.

He shrugged. "As good as I can feel, I guess."

I nodded. I'd realized something over the years- offering consolation was not my strong suit. Not for Fred, at least.

"Well, let me know if you need me, okay?" I nodded, earning his eyes.

"Yeah," he said, nodding.

I was stopped by Meredith barging in Fred's office, slamming a stack of papers down on his desk.

"Enjoy your vacation?" She snapped, resting her hand on her hip.

Fred had absolutely no off button currently, so I was impatiently awaiting his remark.

"It was time away from you, so hell yes," he said, nodding at her.

She tilted her head over. "Listen, it is not in my job description to pick up all your slack when you decide to just up and disappear for a week. No one else gets that luxury, and I don't get paid enough for that." 

I shook my head, eyes wide. Fred rubbed his hands down his face as Meredith stormed out of his office.

"Jo, I cannot deal with her bitchiness today," he said, through gritted teeth.

Meredith spun around, wide eyes. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I'm sorry for not speaking loud enough, I said I cannot deal with her bitchiness today," Fred snapped, turning around to face her.

"Meredith, go," I firmly said, "give us a minute."

She stomped to her desk, leaving Fred and I. He fell back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head.

"In her defense, I didn't tell her," I said, "so I'm sure to her, yes, it does look like you just disappeared for a week."

"Why didn't you tell her?" He asked, looking up at me from his chair.

"You just told Dad last night," I said, "I was thinking you weren't eager for people to know. Definitely not people with the size of Meredith's mouth."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Okay."

I really doubted the fact that Fred had any energy to put up a fight about anything. He looked defeated, and Fred King was always up to banter about something.

"I'll get out of your hair," I said, slipping my hands in my pockets.

He nodded and I walked out of his office, earning Meredith's eyes.

"Don't," I said, "I mean it."

She looked up at me and sighed, rolling her eyes.

I looked down at my phone, seeing a text from Lena.

[From: Lena]
How much longer until our honeymoon?

~*~

Fred

I leaned against my window, my jaw taut as I watched the sun go down.

"Are you planning on apologizing for earlier?"

I looked back at Meredith, lifting an eyebrow. "For what, exactly?"

"For calling me a bitch."

"Didn't call you a bitch," I muttered, my hands in my pockets.

"If I recall-"

"Don't be a bitch if you don't want to be called a bitch, for starters," I said.

She shook her head. "You don't appreciate me. At all."

"No, Meredith," I yelled, "I don't appreciate you treating me like I'm not your boss. I don't appreciate you complaining about doing your goddamn job."

"My job is not to do your job!" She yelled, "which is what, exactly? Beyond sitting in a three hundred dollar chair and coming and going whenever you please? You have no sense of-"

"Alexis lost the baby!" I yelled, slamming my hand against the window, "that's why I was gone!"

She stood in front of me, her face still as angry as it was before.

"How was I supposed to know that?" She asked.

I gripped my hips, clenching my jaw in order to keep my thoughts to myself.

"Get out," I muttered.

"What?" She asked.

"Get out," I firmly stated, my eyes meeting hers, "pack your shit and get out."

She let out a laugh, shaking her head. "I'm not even going to argue with you."

"Even if you did, you wouldn't win."

"You know, someone else will appreciate me," she said.

"Please, for the love of God, go find someone else who does," I chuckled, nodding over at her.

"You're an asshole, Fred," she sneered, "I hope you treat Alexis better than this. And I hope you weren't so insensitive when you found out-"

She stopped herself, her eyes meeting mine.

I narrowed my eyes. "Finish your sentence."

"It was a heat of the moment thing," she muttered, closing her eyes.

"You have thirty minutes," I said, nodding, "security will be up here to escort you out."

"That's unnecessary."

"Your time's ticking," I said, nodding as I walked over to my desk.

She tilted her head over. "I've been your assistant for five years, Fred."

I shrugged. "Life goes on."

She stormed out of my office, making Jo walk in.

"Screaming match?" He asked.

I folded my arms on my desk. "Something like that, yeah."

He slipped his hands in his pockets. "Thankfully, Amanda's been less of a pain in the ass since she and Logan are getting serious."

"Well, I'm on the hunt for a new assistant," I said, "know anyone?"

He lifted an eyebrow. "You fired her?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding up at him, "I can't deal with anyone right now. Let alone her."

He shrugged. "I don't blame you. You've got a lot on your plate right now."

"Know anybody?" I asked, looking up at him.

He chuckled. "The women I know in Chicago are not women that are qualified to do this."

I bit down on my lip. "Well, looks like you and I will be pretty busy tomorrow."

I stood up, grabbing my coat.

"You're gone?" He asked as I shrugged into my coat.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm just ready to see her."

He sat on the edge of my desk. "Goodnight. Call me if you need me."

"Yeah, I will."

~*~

hi guys! how are you feeling?

im still sad :( you guys reacted to the last chapter kind of how i envisioned, but it honestly came as a surprise to me at the same time! you guys surprise me every single day with how devoted and into this book you are 💕

but... meredith got her ass FIRED. ive been waiting on that scene for a minute to be honest

santiago... 😭 hes growing up on us

okay well i hope you guys are feeling well and staying safe! im still self quarantining and my state is under a stay at home order until the end of the month, which kind of makes me anxious but as long as everyone stays safe, i'll be fine <3

I LOVE U GUYS SO MUCH thank u so much for ur support.

xoxo,
jay