LINE 9

Julia was in her room, watching TV. She heard a noise and turned to see her mother’s auburn pageboy appearing in the open door. Elizabeth’s face was flushed from running up and down the stairs all morning, getting packed trying to remember everything they might need for their stay in Cedarwood Ridge.

“Julia, we’re leaving in ten minutes. Let me help you carry your suitcase to the car,” Elizabeth said almost timidly, looking down at her feet to assure that she had not entered her daughter’s room by accident.

“If we’re leaving in ten minutes I have enough time to watch that butterfly coming out of its cocoon. I’ve never seen something like that before. This is amazing!” Witnessing this miracle of nature triggered a feeling of awe, and Julia forgot momentarily to torture her mother with the silent treatment – her act of retribution for canceling camp. For weeks she had not shared anything aside from the essential yes and nos when asked a question. On the other hand their contact had been reduced to bare glimpses of each other, as her mother seemed busier than she normally already was. “Mom, look! Wow! Have you ever seen that before?”

Elizabeth stepped into the room and peeked over Julia’s shoulders to get a look at the TV screen.

“Are you kidding? Of course I have. Didn’t they show you that at school in your science class?”

“No,” said Julia without taking her eyes off the TV.

“I can’t believe this. They must have shown it on one of the many days you were playing hooky.”

Annoyed, Julia turned away from the screen and looked at the ceiling.

“Why do you always have to say things like that? Why can’t you just start trusting me for a change? I wasn’t playing hooky and you’re ruining the moment, as usual.”

When she didn’t get an answer, she swiveled around in her chair to face her mother and noticed that Elizabeth had left the room. With a sigh she turned the TV off, picked up her bag and glanced wistfully around her sanctuary. “Bye room, see you in a month.” Another sigh and she closed the door behind her. She wished she’d had a key to lock it – she didn’t trust her mother to not sniff around in there while she was gone, but she had none, so that couldn’t be helped. She had placed notes in strategic places that read SHAME ON SPYING MOTHERS and prayed that this was sufficient to stop Elizabeth from prying into her affairs.

Elizabeth was already waiting for her at the front door; the car was idling in the driveway.

“Now here’s some environmentally conscious person,” Julia said sarcastically. “All week long you work out concepts of how to save the planet and in your private time you poison it with noxious gases. I call that typical adult behavior. It’s always: ignore what I do and do as I say. Do you ever think of the psychological damage you’re causing?”

“If for once you’d been on time, we’d be on our way by now.”

“Of course, now it’s my fault again. Really mom, you should hear yourself talking. And I’m sure the next thing you’ll say is ‘Honey we have long hours of driving ahead of us, we really don’t need to get into this right now.’“

“You’ve got that one figured out okay,” said Elizabeth determined not to be provoked. “So, are you ready? Can I lock up?”

“I’m ready,” said Julia, getting into the car, “but I still don’t want to go. I’m too grown up for the lake.”

Elizabeth slammed the car door shut and let the car roll out the driveway. With a glance at her daughter, she remembered Julia’s remark a few moments ago about her being a poor role model. An image of her standing in the kitchen cooking pancakes, flashed through her mind. It felt eerily real. “In another lifetime maybe,” she muttered to herself and fastened her seat belt. “Would you please do as I do and buckle up?” she said aloud, trying to show humor and authority at the same time. “And what’s that supposed to mean anyway?”

“What’s what supposed to mean?”

“That you’re too grown up for the lake.”

“I’ve spent practically every summer there since I was a baby and it was fun then. Grandpa was alive and we hung out and all. But now he’s dead and I won’t have anything to do.”

“Well, grandma’s still there and she really needs us to visit,” said Elizabeth. In an attempt to restore a sense of intimacy with her daughter by sharing her feelings she added: “Grandpa’s death is still very hard on her and frankly, I don’t think I could be there without you.”

“So this is all about your fear of being alone with your mother. Great! You ruin my summer because you can’t work out your stuff with your therapist and let me have my own life.” Then she remembered one of Dr. Kline’s favorite statements. “I’m not here to rescue you mom, you know.”

Elizabeth, struggling to leave her cuticles be, questioned once again whether it had been such a good idea to get Julia her own therapist. She didn’t seem depressed anymore, but she wasn’t one bit easier to get along with either. After a while she said, “You always liked playing with John Freeman.”

“He’s a little geek,” said Julia.

“You gotta give people a chance, Julia. A lot can happen in a year. Look how much you’ve changed.”

“Well if it isn’t my point exactly! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along: I have changed too much to hang out at the lake with grandparents or geeks period.”

“Then you might be just getting old enough to appreciate nature and have fun in the forest by yourself. I had the best times in there when I was your age.”

“Doing what, picking lichen off the trees?”

Elizabeth looked at her daughter disdainfully. “Seems there are many more things than cocoons and butterflies you still have no idea about.”

“Obviously. So why don’t you enlighten me. What in the world are you talking about?” Julia, reflecting her mother’s sarcasm.

“The forest can be very magical and mysterious. The energy feels like – oh, I don’t know, I can’t explain it. You’ll have to experience it for yourself. It’s just really powerful medicine.”

“Thanks mom, now I know exactly what you mean.” All she needed was another conversation about psychic stuff. “I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me when we’re there.” She plugged into her iPod, moved her seat back and closed her eyes.