Chapter VIII: Sacred Words

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I shook my head and tears began to stream down my face.

"No!" I said. Several others shouted Amy's name, as if shouting it would bring her back to life.

She was wrapped up in their shirts and no part of her body was showing. Dad and Bryan must not want anyone to see other her than themselves. The sight must have been terrible.

I felt as if my heart was out of my body and it was on the ground screaming for someone to pick it up. My heart wanted to keep beating, but it couldn't. Just like how Amy's heart had stopped, mine had too. I fell to my knees and hit the floor so hard with my fists. I could now only hear hard breathing, weeping, and my deafening cries.

Amy was gone. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why did God do this to us? And she hadn't died from Black Death either! How did she die? But as I thought that, I wasn't sure if I would want to know. It would only make the reality more. . . real. This had to be a dream. I must have passed out from all of Liam's blood.

As the tears fell, I felt pain. Was that pain real though? Pain is just in the mind. If it was a dream, I needed to wake up, now. Dad and Bryan had to be on their way back with a happy and laughing Amy.

A laughing Amy. . . I would never hear her laugh again. Her perfect and beautiful laugh. She would never grow up. She would never be my age and go through things I went through. She would never have a boyfriend. She would never marry. She was gone. Gone from this earth and never to come back. Life was no longer an option for her.

Pain. Brokenness. Heart-wrenching sorrow. An ache that would never be healed. Damage that could never be fixed. My heart was broken, and it would never be fully mended. A piece of my heart was missing. And it was a piece that Amy and I had shared. She was my little sister and mini-me. She was a part of me that would never come back. A part of me that was now. . . dead.

Why? I may have thought last night that I would accept anything God threw at me. That I would accept it if someone in my family died. But I didn't think I could live out that promise, now. Not when a part of me was missing. I thought that losing Liam would be worse. And I had a taste of what it would feel like without Liam. But this was worse. I had known Amy her entire life. I was there when she first became part of this world. I was there when she took her first breath of life. I was there when she first rolled over, and when she first crawled, when she said her first word, and when she tried to say my name, but it came out as "Kikar". Then her first steps, and her first time on a bike; I was there for all of it. Then when Luke was three and Amy was four we took a professional photo. One with just the four kids, which hung in our living room. And then one with the whole family, which hung in the hallway at the front door.

It would never be the same. We were the four Edwards' kids. Some called us the double twin Edwards' because Luke and Amy were only eleven months apart. Luke had lost his twin. Bryan and I had lost our little sister. I would never have a sister again. I should have had two sisters, but now I had none. Was I some sort of curse?

What was going to happen now? My family's arms were wrapped around each other. Mom's hand was on my shoulder. Bryan's arm was wrapped around my back, his sobs becoming more prominent every few breaths. He had been there. He had seen her body, motionless, without breath. I could not even imagine what it could have been like.

Dad hadn't let Amy go from his arms. He was holding her so close that if someone tried to pull her away, they would have to pry her away from Dad's strong clutch. Though one of Mom's hands was on my shoulder, her other one was on Dad's hands.

I slowly looked up to where Liam's room was. I wanted to go in there and tell him what had happened, but I figured he already knew, from our sobs. He was probably almost as distraught as we were because he knew the feeling.

I now knew what Liam had felt about Rosie's death. And I also felt the guilt, not as major as his would have been, but I did feel it. If I had stayed with Amy this morning and not gone into the house, or if I had woken her up and asked her to come into the house with me, she would still be here. Liam's leg would not be stitched up, and he would not have had a near death experience today. We would probably all be laughing, singing worship songs again, and eating our second meal of the day. However, we had not eaten at all, and we all felt the complete opposite of happy.

I felt as if all the joy had drained out of my body, just like how all the blood had drained out of Liam, and how all the life had now drained out of Amy. What would happen now? Would we bury her? Would we have a funeral and tell of all the "happy" memories of my perfect little sister? It would be hard to talk of her. I couldn't understand how people were able to do that at funerals or memorials.

She may be in a better place, but that didn't mean that we all were. I could just imagine her beautiful face looking down on all of us now, holding the hand of Jesus. It would be an absolutely perfect sight. I wish I could see into what she was thinking right now and whether she understood why we were all crying. She would probably want us to be happy. I knew Amy well enough to know her thoughts, most of the time.

And then the picture of me holding Amy in my arms on the bed on the Titanic, swarmed through my mind. We were both crying and in pain because we did not know if we would make it through the crash. I had felt every breath she took and every tear she shed. With that thought, I became self-conscious of my own breaths. As my chest moved up and down, up and down, all I could think of was Amy and how she would no longer have that. But I knew she wouldn't want me to be thinking like this. She would want me to be happy that she was with Jesus.

Those thoughts of her face next to the face of Jesus kept on popping up every time I would think of something sad. Was that her telling me to be strong?

I tried to open my mouth to speak, but I just couldn't. Amy, give me the strength. The strength to tell our family what you are telling me. I love you, Amy, and you will be in my heart forever.

I don't know what had come over me. I was as depressed as I had ever been, until that moment. Until I felt Amy's presence over me. I had almost heard her voice telling me to be strong. I knew Jesus had His arms around me. Both Him and Amy were radiating their light on me and were telling me to be strong, for my family. Jesus was helping me with what I had promised last night. Accepting anything that would happen. As hard as it may be, I knew I had to do it.

"Um." I managed to say, and only Bryan looked up at me. No one else had heard because of how hard they were sobbing. His eyes met mine, and both were very blurry. Bryan slightly raised an eyebrow as if asking why I had spoken in this silent time.

"Amy would want us to be strong." I whispered, and I could tell he knew what I said because he nodded slightly, but he did not stop his tears from falling.

I could not talk any louder, so I decided to stand up and walk over to Liam's room. Each person looked up in turn and then back down at the ground or at Amy. I walked through the door, and my eyes met Liam's. I sat down next to him on the bed and he said, "I'm. . . so. . . sorry."

I nodded and said, "Now I know what it's like."

His lip twitched downward and he wiped his eyes with his hand. I lay down next to him and started to cry, harder than I had ever cried before.


~ ~ ~


There was a hole in the ground near the barn and we all had quite a bit of dirt under our fingers. The hole wasn't perfect, but it was large enough to hold her petite little body. The clouds shadowed over Amy as if they were meant to, and her body was right next to the dug-up pit. We all stood around the grave but said nothing.

As we had dug the grave, Dad and Bryan told us of the tragic story on how they had found Amy. Once they had gotten to the place where Bryan had found Liam, they followed a break in the trees, which had been recently walked on. They had walked about a hundred yards before they saw it. The men that Liam had fought off, all had arrows in their chests or backs, as well had many boils and bruises on their bodies. They had had the Black Plague. Amy had an arrow in her stomach but had no sign of the plague. She was still breathing when Dad and Bryan reached her.

When Amy saw them, she cried out for them, happy that they had come for her. Bryan and Dad told her not to speak because she was losing too much blood and would soon run out of breath. Knowing that if they took the arrow out, she would only lose more blood and it would surely kill her, they left it in and just stayed by her side. They had watched as Amy breathed her last breaths and prayed over her, telling her that she would soon be with Jesus.

Amy had been smiling as they said all the fun things she could do in Heaven. Bryan had told her that she could play soccer and dance all she wanted-her two favorite things to do. Dad had told her that she could fly-something that she had always wanted to do. Also, they told her that she could be with Jesus every single day and have the most fun she would ever have. Then the time came when Amy's breaths came to be less and less regular.

Bryan and Dad told Amy they loved her so much and then the last words Amy said, after "I love you" were "I'll miss you." And then she was gone.

Bryan and Dad took out the arrow and just sat there for a while, staring at the motionless Amy. Knowing that everyone was waiting for them to come back, they wrapped her up because they didn't want anyone to see the terrible sight that they had and started to walk back. They had not spoken a single word on their way back.

"I love you, Amy." Bryan broke the silence. "And I was happy to spend the last few minutes you had with you. I know you are in a better place. I know you want us to be happy for you. We know that you are looking over us right now and that you are dancing with Jesus. I'll miss you, too and you will forever be in my heart. I love you."

A few seconds of silence, and all of us pondered Bryan's perfect words. I couldn't have said any of that better than how he did. They were words that meant more than anything I had heard before. Even if they were few words, they were very meaningful.

Then Dad decided to start talking. "Amy, you'll be in our hearts forever and will never leave us. You were a wonderful girl who always knew when to say no, and yes. You never looked back and always moved forward with your life. You were a wonderful Christian child who told her friends that Jesus was real and died on the cross to save our sins. You changed people's lives in your seven years of life. When you were born," tears started falling down his face, "you looked into my eyes and I saw that they were mine. With your mama's face and my eyes, you were so beautiful.

"At ten months old, you said your first word, 'Dada'. Then you started walking a few months later. You were such a wonderful girl as you grew up. I was proud to call you my daughter. And now you are dancing with your true Father. He will be happy to have you so soon, even if I don't get to have more years with you. You will be happier in Heaven, and I will be happy to see you on the day of my judgment. I know we all will.

"And though it is hard to watch a child die before their parent, we will soon understand why Jesus decided this. It was hard to watch you go, and right now I don't understand why you had to so soon. I love you, my sweet, sweet girl. Showing your love to all you knew, you'll be in our hearts forever." Dad finished. His touching words were so powerful. They may have been more than Bryan had, but they both had the same meaning.

"Good bye, Amy." Liam said. We had sat him up against the barn so that he could watch as we buried her. I did not think that he would say anything, but I was happy when he did. "It was so wonderful to know you for this week that felt like a lifetime. I know that you and Rosie will be great friends up there. Say hi to her for me and tell her I love her. I love you." He finished.

I could tell that Liam had loved her like she was his sister. I was certain Amy had reminded Liam of Rosie, and I felt bad that Liam had to witness her death. But I knew that Rosie and Amy would be great friends, and that they were probably both looking down on us now, holding hands with Jesus.

"Thank you for telling me to stay strong." I began and smiled, tears of joy falling down my face. "You were the best sister I could ever ask for and you were an exact replica of me when I was your age. I know you will have the happiest time ever in Heaven. Tell Kaylee I love her, and I wish that we could have grown up together. Wish you didn't have to meet her so soon, and before I did, but I know you are happier up there. You be good, and I'll see you in my dreams. I love you so much." I took a deep breath and let a small smile stretch on my face.

Mom opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. A mom losing their child is probably one of the worst things in the world. Hopefully I would never have to go through that. Losing my little sister was bad enough.

"The moment. . ." Mom took a deep breath. "The moment I laid eyes on you. . ." She stopped again, and I could see that she could barely say another word. Dad put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. It was good their marriage was saved, but I knew that if they hadn't made up, they would have by know. Something about losing their daughter would bring husband and wife together. At least that's what made sense in my mind.

It was silent until Luke opened his mouth and said, "I'll miss you, sis. I love you." He said through strangled breaths. I could tell that he wanted to say more, but for some reason he didn't open his mouth again.

"I'm so sorry this had to happen, Amy. I feel just terrible about it. It was great knowing you." Bella said, and I could see in her eyes that something, besides this, was troubling her. And she was the only one that said "sorry". Why? Was that how it was in the Roman times?

And then, after a few more minutes of silence, Bryan and Dad picked Amy up and set her in her grave. Everyone else started throwing the dirt over her and I went out walking through the trees to pick some flowers. After picking a few pink and yellow flowers, I went back to Amy's grave, which was now completely covered, and made a bouquet with the flowers. Bryan had gone off as well, and when he came back, he had two sticks and a few pieces of grass, and a long flexible branch.

I understood when he put one stick perpendicular to another and used the grass and branch to tie them together, that he was making a cross. He then stuck it in the ground, above the flowers that I had set down. We all smiled gratefully at him, and after each of us went to kiss the ground in which Amy was now below, we went back inside, barely anyone speaking a word.

We had brought Liam's bed out to the kitchen so that he could spend time with us. He was now lying there with his head propped up against a pillow, and every now and then we would meet each other's eyes, and then turn away, knowing that if we looked much longer, we would start to cry again. My stomach started to grumble, and I knew I was hungry, but we probably wouldn't eat until later tonight. I don't think any of us had the energy to make a meal.

Several minutes, maybe even hours, passed-the concept of time having lost meaning-and no one said a single thing. We didn't know what to do next. I could barely think anymore. All my tears had been shed, and my eyes were the driest they had ever been. I wondered what Heaven was like, and right now I really wanted to be there. Not because I wanted to die, but because I had so many questions for Jesus and because I wanted to see Amy.

For the next few days, we probably wouldn't do much, meaning that it would take longer to find the phone. Then, if we did find the phone, would we just be sent to a completely different time? Would we ever get home? But now home would be entirely different. There would be no Amy. But there would be Liam and Bella. Life would change, and it would be almost like we were restarting life. Everything had changed, but both for better and for worse. The question was: Did the better outweigh the worse or vice versa?

I had found Liam; the one I would be with for the rest of my life. But my sister that I had known my entire life, and loved since the day she was conceived, was gone. Bryan found the girl he would be with for the rest of his life. But Mom and Dad both made two of the worst possible sins. Even though they had made up, their sins would haunt them forever.

I've traveled through time, which I thought to be impossible. But in each time, there was always something bad that happened, other than when we found Jesus. Jesus. . . And that made me remember the day we saw him as a baby, and he touched our foreheads, and blessed us. That had been the best thing I had ever felt in my entire life. Would I rather have Amy back, or have the wisdom and strength I had received when Jesus blessed me?

I looked up toward Liam, again. He looked at me and smiled warily. Bryan had his head on the table. Luke's head was on one of Bryan's outstretched arms, his face towards me, but eyes closed. Mom and Dad were sitting, holding hands, and had been whispering for the past few minutes. Bella was sitting next to Bryan. She had a strange and troubled look in her eyes, just as she had during the funeral. What was up with her?

Bryan pulled his head off the table and looked around, as if he was thinking hard.

"Bryan?" I said and scrunched my eyebrows. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just thought of something," he said.

"And what might that be?" Dad said, his voice low and somber.

"I mean, this had slightly crossed my mind before, but we were too focused on Amy for me to say something."

We all waited patiently for him to continue.

"The kidnappers had Black Death. Amy didn't have a single boil or sign of the plague on her and she had been carried by them. How did she not get the plague?" Bryan turned to look at Dad as he spoke, knowing he would have the best answer.

"Well, first off, the plague usually spread and infected its source between two and five days. However, we have been around the plague for three days now, and none of us have ended up with it. So, either we are really lucky, or, like the priest said, we may be immune to it. But I honestly don't know."

"You think we're immune to it?" Bryan interrupted, his mouth dropped.

"Possibly, but not all of us. Bella, Liam and your mother may not be. But those directly related to me, could almost certainly be."

It was my turn to interrupt. "How are you immune?"

"Because I am related to King Edward, who was also immune. And you three are too," he said pointing to Bryan, Luke, and me.

"King Edward was immune to the plague?" Liam said.

"Yes. Edmund explains that in his journal," Dad said.

"Oh, right." I said and remembered when Edmund had explained that. For when Edmund had gone to see his father, Edward had told Edmund that it was impossible for him to get the plague, and for him not to worry about getting it. Edmund had asked why, and Edward responded with a very conceited answer, saying he was invincible. Which was slightly true, because he never

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