Being single has its' perks. A whole lot of it, actually. And since I am single, I get to enjoy said perks. However, sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I at least had some sort of experience in the dating department, because being single since birth (SSB) sucks when your best friend is crying over the phone about how much she misses her boyfriend.

"Like, I don't know, Jus! What if all this space between us becomes a problem..."

"Uh huh..." I nodded, trying to sound anything but utterly terrified.

This wasn't the first time Charlie had called me up about her insecurities with her boyfriend. And even though she knows I have no idea how to comfort her, she said it was good enough that I listened, but that didn't make me feel any better. Though I do get why she's insecure.

Her boyfriend, Garrett Dawson, was two years older than us, and was attending college two states over, which was a good twelve hour drive away. He was a good guy, and made the effort to visit Charlie whenever he can. They talked almost everyday, and I had no doubt he really loved my best friend, but said best friend would occasionally have these days where she would worry and overthink everything, which would lead to her calling me on the verge of hysteria and tears.

And as always, I have no idea what to do.

On the other end of the line, I hears her blowing her nose, and an idea struck me. I quickly got up from the seat at my desk and close the door to my bedroom, before putting her on speaker and hit the home button on my phone.

Charlie was sniffling again when I started typing.

Me:
HEEEEEEAALP!!!!

I impatiently tapped my finger on the side of my phone as I waited for my possible-saviour to reply, praying he had no Saturday plans that could keep him from his phone.

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
What???

"Oh, praise the lord!"

"What?" Charlie's nasally voice in a wobbly tone.

"Nothing." I shook my head even though she can't see me, as my thumbs tapped as quickly as they could. "What were you saying?"

Me:
So my friend is freaking out about her long distant relationship (as per usual) and I don't know what the hell to say to her (as per usual). WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
...are you asking me for relationship advice for your friend?

Me:
YES! I've been single as a pringle sonce birth and I have no idea how to help her!! Like, what do I say???!!!

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
You've never been in a relationship either??

I was about to reply, when I paused. Either?

Me:
What do you mean "either"?

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
Exactly what you think I meant.

"You still there?"

I had to pick my jaw up from the floor to answer. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm here! Keep going."

Me:
How have you never been in a relationship nefore?!

Me:
*before!

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
I could ask you the same question.

Me:
Because I'm an awkward human being! What's your excuse!

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
Never really found a girl I wanted to have a relationship with. I mean, I've dated, had sex, but they never went anywhere beyond that.

"Wow..."

"I know right?! He can't possibly be that busy!"

Shit. I had no idea what she was talking about. Feeling more than frustrated, I gritted my teeth and sent out another reply.

Me:
So you have nothing for me??

Leo-fuckin-Bracci:
Now, now. Don't dismiss me so quickly. Tell me everything that's going on.

* * *

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