I rubbed the bridge to my nose and sighed now that the test was over. "But I think I passed it..." I murmured on a lighter note, and she smiled and shook her head.

"You're a brave soul," she congratulated me. I smiled and let out another breath before I opened my locker.

But Karri's words of brave had an odd effect. Inwardly, I began to feel humiliated. How ironic she would say that... for my heart was still racing, I had run out of there as fast as I could; every move he made haunted me. I was scared of him. Hayden had such a power that most people only dreamt about- but I cowered from. I knew all too well the consequences of being under the shadow someone like him casts.

I tugged slightly on the hair that chose to separate itself from the bun and I began unwinding the dial to my locker. But my hand slowed when my thoughts once again drifted back to those last moments in class. My hand stilled completely as my brows creased softly. It wasn't just Hayden that I was scared of. It was people. All of them. I learned long ago that almost nobody could be trusted.

Students behind me all laughed and continued on their way. Their voices encased me loudly as they fought to speak over one another. I turned and watched them now. Not one of them knew that I disliked them; that I felt repulsion for them. I didn't interact with enough of them for any lasting emotions to slip across. Normally I'd walk away before my presence became a permanent fixture. To the people of my school, I was just Alys; neither hated nor liked. And luckily for me no one ever really stopped and realized that they knew nothing about me.

I was in no denial about how strange I was. I hated others around me, it was plain and simple. But, I also disliked myself.

Hesitantly I turned that latch one last time and pressed into the hinge. I replaced my math binder for another and quietly pulled out a new sketchbook from the opened locker. I watched Karri now as she also grabbed her own binder for the next class that we shared.

She was special... but as much as I tried with others I couldn't. Even though there were some people who I inwardly liked and didn't mind their company. I smiled distastefully at myself and I closed my locker. No, I only needed Karri. I didn't have to force myself with other people. I could live freely this way. I didn't feel like I had such a suffocating hold around my neck. I was a normal high school student who had learned to deal with her problems and I got along fine like that.

"Al?"

I looked to her hesitant voice. Her soft green eyes were on me. "Did something happen today?"

I hesitated, before finally answering honestly. "It's nothing; I just got myself wound up." And slowly I led the way to our next class. She looped her arm with mine, an odd habit I had just learned to go with, and kept pace with me. We stopped a few feet short of a bathroom entrance. The water from within the toilet pipes had long left their bowls and were flowing freely through the halls.

"Oh well now, that's hygienic." Karri grimaced as she stepped back away from the water. We hopped around the damage and kept walking.

"Senior pranks are getting bad this year," I said lightly.

She nodded her head. "I get the fun of it, but why actually damage something to that extreme? A good prank is one to laugh at, not one to inconvenience you with no actual fun about it."

"Show people that poster then?" I laughed. But she looked at me oddly.

"You know, I should. They've plagued our halls with them," her hands waved dismissively at all those prints that lay before us, "and everyone's sick of it. Even the legit cheerleaders, and they were the ones whom actually worked hard all year and brought us to state".

I glanced towards the hallway where Stacey's and Jamie's lockers lay, but neither were anywhere to be seen. "And yet our State Champions are plagued by those who want to show off their asses and reap the popularity of being in an elite high-school sport." Karri finished heatedly.

She seemed to ponder more posters as we walked by them. I too glanced to them. Finally she spoke again; "Even the photo is a slap in the face, you know? You can't even see Jamie and she's the Captain of the team. She's tucked way back behind the others looking hella' pissed off."

I nodded my head, "That's because she would never be caught dead posing like that."

"I'm going to do it." she finally said.

"Do what?"

"Make some copies of the poster. It's actually befitting considering where the inspiration came for me to draw on them. This should stop them."

"Inspiration? Stop them? What are you talking about-"

But before I could finish my words, a loud voice echoed across us. "Kare!"

Our heads turned to the female voice. Megan waved at us from the far side of the hall while she dragged Tim through the traffic with her. Megan was classic pretty; blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile that any guy would fall for. And one had already done just that as he followed in step behind her. Tim was boyishly handsome, with brown hair and green eyes like Karri. I knew it was only a while longer before all the girls would be fighting to get his attention. But sadly for them, he only had eyes for one person.

Karri and I both smiled; mine politely, hers excitedly. "Hi there lover birds!" She chimed once they finally reached us. Tim's face reddened instantly, and I nudged Karri threateningly. Megan had no idea he was madly in love with her, and though it was plainly obvious to everyone else- it still wasn't our place to shatter Tim's secret.

Megan titled her head unsure but then decided there was just some hidden joke and moved right along. "So," she began, her bright blue eyes seeming to sparkle, "Saturday night we're going to the roller rink. Please tell me that you can come?"

Karri smiled dejectedly "Sorry, Dad's making me take my SAT's again. He says that I can do better..."

Tim rolled his eyes; "For the love of god Karri, we never see you as it is. Just rebel for once in your life!"

I chuckled slightly at the dramatic turn the situation had taken. Tim met my eyes and seemed genuinely pleased that I had acknowledged his jest. But Karri folded her arms and sat into her hip. "Go ahead and try," she said, "You just march right up to my Tech-Sergeant father and tell him what his daughter is going to."

Megan looked at me and I cracked a knowing smile. "Okay, okay" she sighed to us; my secondary presence making her admit to what Karri was saying.

Karri rolled her eyes, "But I can hang out with you guys next week. Is that okay?"

"I can work with that," Tim finally said, though he was a little put-off. His eyes found mine again, and I was also aware of Megan's wondering gaze. But by my patient smile... I think he knew what my answer was. I wouldn't.

Not so much because I was socially reluctant... but mainly because of my mother. There were only a minor few people I liked. But thanks to that woman, I couldn't even try to attempt a normal friendship- even if I had it in me.

Tim was the son of our mayor- a man who had dumped her a few years back. And she still held that resentment close to her heart. Karri had finally got me to open up to these two; and I enjoyed it for the most part. Until the screaming and yelling started.

Until my mother faked a mental break down; asking god why her daughter would do this to her.

Sometimes Tim and I joked about how we could have been stepsiblings, though in reality we almost completely stopped hanging out. Because in the end, it made me dread another episode with my mom. It made me fearful she would try therapy or scheme something behind my back.

"Sorry," I smiled at them since they didn't seem to be backing down. It was Megan who pouted her lips. "But Alys, if Kare is a rarity to us- you might as well be a unicorn."

I started laughing slightly at that, "I'm so sorry you think I'm so rare. But in all seriousness- my mother would probably find out again. Last time I hid you two in my closet, she could smell Tim and his Dad's unique cologne. That's when she first realized who my new friends were."

They stood silently; both neither wanting to quite make eye contact. Though I had a soft, light voice, it didn't seem to stop them from remembering the utter breakdown my mother brought forth. Or the horrible things she said about Tim's father. She had no idea that the son of her ex-lover was in the closet.

"No chance," I further assured. Karri watched me silently before she turned to face them, "Alright. my minions. Off to class now! You're both making me late as it is. I'll text you tonight Tim!"

I smiled as I waved goodbye to them while Karri managed to hook my arm again. When we got out of hearing range, she calmly said to me, "You know Alys; if you really tried... you could find a way to hang out with them... even if I'm not there..."

I looked at her for a quick moment. "Maybe," I finally admitted.

"...Maybe..." she confirmed quietly, before she resumed her attention ahead of us.

But we both knew it. I wouldn't.

.

.

.

"Students, if you will, please pull out your packets that I handed you last Friday."

Shuffling of paper filled the air and I looked down at the assignment in question.

"Today we are going to be discussing the meaning of war and its pros and cons on the world."

I heard gum pop and Mr. Jackson stumbled over his next set of words. Karri leaned over towards me, whispering quietly under her breath.

"Fuck me, he's at it again," she snarled in reference to our teacher. I didn't even have to look. I could picture the man before us. He was in his late forties, combover black hair, standard face and features, his shirt was a little too tight and he always reeked of spearmint. But more importantly, he coveted something that he shouldn't.

"He just can't focus when a young pretty girls' slowly blowing her bubble gum." Karri's words danced to my ears, and I could hear her small grimace within them.

I heard another pop and Mr. Jackson swallowed dryly as he tried to ignore the gaze of the girl before him. I looked up and watched Shannon as she tried to catch his eye again. She had no interest in him at all, but she loved to toy with him, to watch him struggle under the simple bait she was offering. Which was just what we needed; a teacher who longed to touch the youth he swore to teach and protect. Life's exciting like that.

"Pedophile. I can't believe all these years, no ones ever noticed this or suspected this? How the hell is Shannon not disturbed he is interested in her?!"

"She's well developed, she probably thinks he sees her as a woman... not a girl." I whispered.

Neither Kari or I had Mr. Jackson as a teacher until this last semester of our senior year. We both decided to take this class for advanced credits, and for the first time in our high school days found ourselves before a man whose eyes scoured others oddly.

With only a semester left until we graduated, we ignored it for the most part and worked quietly. Yet as they days went by, as the hours came and went... we both realized that gaze of his was wrong. The way he was looking at others was wrong.

The way he was watching the female students of our school was wrong.

"This is proof." Karri whispered as another pop of gum broke through the air.

"No it's not." I said back quietly. The thing was... he hadn't actually done anything- at least from what we could tell. He was nervous, paranoid, hungry... but unsure. Always trying to avoid those temptations. What could we tell the school? We thought he was acting inappropriately? It would only target us, nothing would happen to him. There was nothing we could prove. At least not now. Once we graduated in a few months, we were both going to anonymously report him. We wouldn't paint targets on our heads either for we would be long gone.

Kari angrily slid me my sketchbook. There was nothing we could do. Mr.Jackson hadn't done anything yet. But there was something I could still draw... even if no one saw it.

And so the notebook finished sliding over. She wanted me to draw people, even though this was probably a clear sign that I had an obsessive compulsive disorder, it was also how I was able to deal with the persons around me and try to relax into the environment.

But truly, she just liked my drawings. She would always stare mesmerized, almost enchanted at the images I would come up with. "I don't know how you do it," she would say in between slow breaths and it would always astound me that she accepted me like this.

And now was no exception. The notebook slid against my fingers and my hand took over the job of moving it and kept it along its path until it was directly in front of me. I tilted it slightly as I opened it and so it would match the natural angle of my hand as I began to place the heavy lead of the pencil against its light pages beneath it.

I loved to draw. I loved the feeling of the dark line that my pencil left behind as it sculpted some true form that had never managed to be born in the world around me. I loved the way I could trace shadows and outline context as simply ground rock could stain a white surface and make an image that matched reality.

It was almost surreal that such depth and emotion could be born out of what was simply smudged mineral and pasted tree wood. But it was the realist thing I felt and that's all I really wanted was the truth. I longed for this unfathomable and unattainable simplicity that had eluded me for years.

To me, these drawings were something to hold on to; something to keep me afloat. I could draw a world where people wore their true selves on their sleeves, and even if no one besides Karri saw it, it would help me forget about my emotions of distrust and regret. And maybe pretend somewhere inside of me that things were all right, that they could just keep moving forward.

I traced a circular form and lightly drew a horizontal line though it, for a pair of eyes later on. I sculpted some ears roughly and then another line going vertical now, so it could divide the face in half. Slowly limbs grew out of elongated loops and shapes and I etched groves and muscles lines along with shadowed corners and detailed hands. A slight curved spinal cord dragged behind my pencil and a-

"Alys, are you paying attention?"

I looked away from my drawing and blankly at Mr. Jackson. His eyebrow twitched and I saw the slight tug of is Adam's apple as saliva fought to be swallowed against his horse throat. But none of this was the same as it was with Shannon.

The whites of his eyes could be seen around his irises and I noticed his slightly reddened facial features and a cold sweat slipping free from his face. His jaw was clenched tightly and he gave a quick satisfied grunt before he turned his back to me and began preaching to the class once again about a lesson no one wanted to learn.

Some people in the class giggled softly at the sight of a teacher having to correct a student, but I felt nothing but pity for them for always being so oblivious to the world; being so oblivious as to what was happening right now. Mr. Jackson had only held my eyes for a second before he had seemingly implied his lesson and turned to resume teaching.

But the air was tense between us; my line of sight sketched into his back and some silly truth laughed wildly against my pencil as I stared at his pathetic pretense; his charade' failing almost the instant he met my gaze. I kept my eyes on his back as he fought to calmly write out a lesson on the board.

Mr. Jackson was more aware of the people around him than anyone I had ever met. And I couldn't blame him. Even without all those sinful urges he had when looking at a teenage girl- he now also had to deal with a few of the lecherous ones looking back.

I guessed it was like a crack addict being followed by its own stalk-happy white powder baggy. He couldn't get away. And he slowly stopped trying. Now his current objective was to just not make any actions, but I started to wonder if even that was going to flounder.

Shannon brought forth his problem every chance she got. And with her constantly prodding his resistance with her own sexual invites and lures, Mr. Jackson would often cower away from her and sit at his desk to safely cover his lower level so no one could see the protruding staff.

And this was why he was also so paranoid. Like a liar who knows he's lied, a sinner who's scorned by his act; Mr. Jackson was the cheating wife who seemed suspicious of others and suspected them of everything that he himself had done.

That inner guilt or awareness of a deed turned sour; making him look over his shoulder day in and day out and think the worst of people... and the worst of what they knew. And that's why it didn't take him long to realize my gaze amongst the others.

How unusual my eyes must have been to the poor man. Where no eyes before could see the true depths of his perversion. Where the worst idea that people speculated about him was just that he might have a thing for a fully developed school slùt. How unnerving my eyes must have been to him... when I knew the truth. He was looking at the freshman class. He was licking his lips in self control to girls who were nothing more than children; not developed in any way.

The lambs around us bawwed in their ignorance and stupidity. But this panicked ram before me finally looked up to scan the flock in his paranoia. And now he was left staring at another awkward sheep in the crowd... not sure if it was real, or if the pale eyes actually belonged to a fanged beast playing fowl amongst the disguise.

And that's why he couldn't look me in the eyes. He couldn't hold that gaze of the suspicious sheep who had blue irises instead of the brown clones. He tried to act like the teacher others saw him as and possibly pass off that he was lecturing me, but in reality he was cowering away from my presence. My simple gaze was enough to break him down and so he tried his hardest to pretend that I wasn't there and probably prayed to god that I didn't know.

But I did.

I watched him now, feeling him squirm under my lingering eyes as a result. I did this on purpose though. I wanted him to always keep in mind that he was not in some fantasy and he had to keep himself in check. At least till the end of the year. At least until Karri and I anonymously informed the school.  

I let my eyes narrow, I let him know that they are always on him. He was the honored fool who got to see the beast behind my mask.

"Alys..."

"Yes?" I asked softly as I found my outer reality again.

Karri sighed halfheartedly but her lips still revealed a bemused smile. "I think he gets it. That slight grin you gave him did it. He's on the edge of fainting now."

I pondered her words and then glanced back to the man before me. He was so shaken by the intensity of my gaze; something sinister laughing within me, the