FIFTEEN

'I'm oxygen and he's dying to breathe.' - Tahereh Mafi

I think I just forget how to breathe.

This cannot be happening. I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience as if I am watching someone else play this out in front of me. My knees are red raw and scattered in cuts from where the gravel has sliced through my skin. I am kneeling beside Claudia's lifeless body, her blonde hair stuck to her face with blood. Her blood is everywhere. On the road, on her body, all over my hands.

James has lost his shit.

"I'm going to be sick" is all I can hear him say repeatedly. He's standing over us, his hands trembling. Henry's arms are firmly planted on his shoulders keeping him steady. Henry is talking into James' ear, but his voice is doing little to soothe the sheer panic and guilt etched on every single feature of James' face.

"I need to go to the police, I need to...I need to check for a pulse. An ambulance, have you called an ambulance?" James starts to scream, ripping himself away from Henry. His eyes are wild and he meets my gaze, staring at my blood-soaked hands.

"A pulse," he repeats, his voice breaking. "A pulse, she must have a pulse."

It's too much. I can see it on his face, the cogs turning, his brain shutting down as if to protect him from the realisation of his actions.

"Tell me she's got a pulse!" he screams at me.

"Enough," Adam's voice breaks through. He looks to Henry, "units are on the way, we need to get these two out of here."

"You've got to be kidding, Adam," I growl. "We cannot leave her here!"

"I'm not fucking leaving." James spits.

"You have no fucking choice, mate," Henry's voice snaps attention to him. He stares at his charge with a look of determination I haven't seen before. "You're the next fucking king of Australia. This never happened."

"I don't give a shit who I am!" he bellows into the night. "I'm not leaving her here to fucking rot."

The sound of sirens blaring in the distance causes all of us to freeze. "Our units are still five minutes out," Adam says. "We have got to go, now."

Before I can think twice, Adam scoops me up from the floor and chucks me into the back of the SUV as if I'm weightless. I scramble on the seat to sit upright and Adam slides into the driver's seat of the car. I watch Henry plead with James to get in the car.

James' eyes snap in the direction of the sirens and then back down to Claudia's body. Henry uses this and pulls at James' sleeve, dragging him to the back of the SUV.

"I will sort this out for you," he tells him. "I promise."

Henry slams James' door closed and knocks on the roof of the SUV. Adam doesn't need to be told twice, he flies us into the night.

*

I'm not sure what could prepare us next for the shit show that occurs the moment the car pulls up inside the palace gates. One moment I am getting out of the car, the next I am swarmed by security and being led to a room where I am commanded to strip down, everything to the hairband that ties my hair.

Once I'm undressed, a female agent leads me to a bathroom where I am told to wash. She gives me clear instructions on how to clean myself, passing me hideous-smelling products to drench myself in. I can barely comprehend what I am doing as I lean against the showerhead, the scalding hot water burning my bare skin. It is in the shower that I allow myself to cry, to properly let the emotion that floods my body out. I don't know where to look or what to do but I crash to the floor, letting the water run off my shoulders.

This cannot be happening.

"Your parents are outside Your Highness," the agent bangs on the bathroom door. I step out of the shower and towel myself off. The blood has disappeared from my hands but I can feel the imprints of it everywhere on my skin. I dress in the clothing laid out for me and open the bathroom door. My mother stands before it with an indescribable look on her face. My father stands next to her, an iPad in his right hand.

"Oh, darling." Mum closes the distance between us, embracing me. She hugs me tighter than I have ever been hugged before and I bury my face into her shoulder, letting the tears pool out of my eyes as she rocks me like I am five years old.

"She's dead," I say between hiccups, pulling away from my mother. "Claudia, she didn't have a pulse..."

"It's being handled," dad says carefully, stepping to face me. He pulls my wet hair out from my face, but I snap his hand away.

"Handled?" I shake my head, disgusted by his lack of care. "She's a person, dad, a person."

"It's not that simple,"

"She just ran out into the road," I try to catch my breath, "she is gone, just like that. Oh god, it's my fault."

"No, Eva, it's mine."

We all look up in unison to James standing down the corridor. His hair is wet like mine and the expression on his face reflects how I am feeling.

"I was the one driving," he chokes out. "I killed her."

There are no words to comfort him right now. He did it, he ran her over.

The sound of voices rounding the corner makes my dad's attention snap.

"How did you let this happen?" he roars to Adam and Henry. Both men have also been stripped clean and stand before us in everyday clothes. I flinch at the tone of my father's voice as the two security agents freeze.

"One of you needs to explain how two of the most important people in the fucking country were given permission to leave on an unsanctioned and unplanned outing in the dead of night after knowing full well I lost my son to a similar trip a month fucking earlier?" The snarl that leaves my father's throat is guttural.

The door to the end of the corridor opens once more and Katherine and Marcus Prescott walk through. Katherine looks as though she has been crying and Marcus' face is hard as stone. He glares at the two men in front of him like his look alone can burn them alive.

"Did either of you think detrimental effect this will have!" my father seethes. A pin could drop and do nothing to ease the tension in this corridor. I curl my fingers into a fist to stop myself from screaming back at my dad. It's not their fault we were there.

"I should have both your fucking heads for the shit storm you have put us all in. A girl is dead because the two of you were unable to fulfil your jobs." Dad stares down the two heads of security. "Top clearances, experienced members of the secret service and neither of you could stop two kids from driving a fucking car."

"Enough!" James roars and his eyes alight. "It's neither of their bloody faults. I was the one driving the car, I killed her. The only person who should be getting screamed at right now is me!"

"I want the pair of you in my office right now," dad thunders, ignoring James' outburst. "Marcus?" he prompts.

I watch our fathers walk away, the door slamming behind them. I visibly flinch at the slam.

"It's not your fault," James reiterates to the men. "I will ensure that is noted. I am the one who should be getting this shit."

But no one says anything else because we all know James won't pay for anything. He's next in line for the throne. Rules don't apply to people like us. They have been covering up stuff like this for centuries. After all, the most powerful people tell the most powerful lies.

**

I wrap my cardigan tighter around my shoulders, drawing in the sleeves by crossing my arms. The summer evening air has a chill to it and as I stand on my balcony overlooking the back of the palace. I stare at the dark, trimmed lawn illuminated by small lantern-like lights. It must be past midnight, the moon is high in the sky and the night is clear, still, much unlike my brain.

I can hear the hum of a generator below, I can see the security who patrol below, guns strapped to their waists. A flicker of movement below my balcony catches my attention and I watch as a man slams the door below me, storming into the darkness of the gardens below. The man stops suddenly, his sandy hair brightened by a dim light. Henry.

From here, I can see the way Henry exhales a sigh. He runs his right hand through his hair and then down his face and a pinched look echoes between his brows.

"Fuck," I hear his voice reverberate into the night.

Henry decides at that moment to look up. Directly at me. We both stare at each other for a moment. Something flashes on Henry's face that makes me suck in a sharp breath and before I can register what I am doing, I spin, darting back through the balcony doors and I make my way downstairs. Henry stands in the same place, his eyes trained on the door I walk through as he expected I would be coming through it.

"Hey," I say. I'm not even wearing any shoes as I pad over to where he is standing. Henry takes my swinging hand and pulls me with him. He drags me to a corner of the gardens, ducking under a tree branch and looks at something over my shoulder. I turn to see what he's looking intently at and catch the security camera that swivels to the right – towards us but not quite meeting where we stand. A blind spot.

We're standing so close that I can feel the heat of his breath warming my cheeks.

"What happened tonight?" I ask him. "What did my father say?"

Henry grimaces, "it's nothing we can't handle."

"It wasn't your fault," I tell him.

"Our job is to protect you, Eva," Henry says with a sigh. "Adam and I failed in our duties knowing full well neither of you should have been out with only two members of security after what happened to your brother."

"Nobody could have predicted what happened," I look down at my feet and then back to his face. "Nobody."

"A girl is dead," he shakes his head, "a Duke's daughter no less. This won't just go away."

"I wish there was something I could do," I tell him honestly. I have never felt so helpless and useless in my entire life. I would do anything to go back in time and make this right. I'm going to be a queen, but I have as much power over this as an ant does.

"I feel stupid. The fragile little princess running away."

"You are stronger than the things that make you feel weak, Eva,"

"Who said that?"

Henry scoffs but a small smile plays on his lips. "Someone who knew their shit."

Henry reaches out his hand and brushes his hand over my cheek. His fingers tuck a single strand of hair behind my ear and then drop so his fingers tickle the side of my neck. My entire body feels like it is about to combust, his fingers burning my skin. I can feel it in my core, in my soul, in the way his blue eyes blaze into mine.

"I want to kiss you," he says gruffly, his feather-light fingers suddenly tighten onto my shoulder and he pulls me closer to him. "The problem is, if I did, I don't think I'd be able to stop."

I swallow, feeling my heartbeat in my ears. "Then don't stop."

I don't even finish my sentence before Henry's mouth covers my own. His lips are padded and soft and he kisses me with such ferocity as if I am air and he's dying to breathe. My arms fling around his neck as I pull him down to meet his kisses. I gasp as Henry bites on my bottom lip and he takes this as an invitation to invade my mouth with his tongue. Henry doesn't come up for air. He kisses my mouth, my neck, the side of my mouth with his tongue. I almost come undone just standing there.

It's enough to almost make me forget where we are. Almost. 

Thank you for reading! x

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