Chapter 41: A Visible Hickey

"Well, we may have kissed after that... and by that, I mean on the 4th," I bit my lip.

Indie gasped, "What?!"

I smiled, explaining everything that happened after I left. Of course, she yelled at me for holding back for so long. When I told her what happened, she got upset she left so early. I couldn't help but smile. It hadn't been that long, but I already missed her voice. Apparently, Bradley was handling this worse than Kira, which spoke volumes. Since he was attending a university near Indie, he hardly left. Admittedly, I was glad to hear things were working out between the two. Kira and Julie were attending the same school, so it was working out for them as well.

Seeing my friends leave with their significant others reminded me of Micah's plans. He planned on attending the same college as me to "keep an eye on me" at all times. Now that we're broken up, his new girlfriend would have to deal with that. Through it all, I hoped he was doing better in his life. I hoped he could find happiness within himself. I knew Micah wasn't happy and he took it out on me. I just hoped for everyone's sake, he finds that happiness.

"So, we keep secrets now, Kenzie?" She glared.

"It's not a secret anymore considering I just told you," I shrugged.

"Alright smartass, what are you gonna do about your neck?"

I frowned, reaching up to touch my neck, "What about my-"

I took a closer look at my neck through the view on my laptop and saw what she was talking about. I never felt my cheeks get so hot in my life. There was a huge hickey right above my collarbone. I felt embarrassment, anger, and fear all at once. Not only was there a hickey- which was embarrassing enough. It was a visible hickey.

"WHAT DO I DO?!" I screeched, full panic-mode. "My dad's gonna kill me! Then my mom's gonna resurrect me just to kill me again! And Lindsay's gonna film the whole thing! It's the end for me-"

"Calm down," She rolled her eyes. "You're such a drama queen. Just use concealer and wear turtlenecks. You have hair. Use it. Avoid your parents for a few days and you should be fine."

After a few more minutes, I finally calmed down. We talked a bit longer before she had to go. Bradley was taking her out for lunch. I sighed and got up. I had to cover up the hickey before anyone saw it. Once it was covered with makeup and hidden under a turtleneck crop top, I went into the kitchen. Tanner was sitting there, munching on a bag of chips. He glanced up at me and frowned.

"What's with the turtleneck? It's eighty degrees right now."

I shrugged, turning away from him and to the refrigerator, "Fashion is unconventional."

"Oh, Griffin texted me," His voice was muffled by the chips, but I heard him.

My heart stopped, "He did?"

"Yeah, he told me to tell you to meet him at the park."

I frowned, turning around again, "Why didn't he text me?"

Tanner shrugged and stood up. I noticed how much better he'd been looking lately. He's been taking medicine to help him sleep. Nowadays, he looked a lot more alive. I was grateful. I was slowly getting my brother back. Though it was a gradual process, I was happy it was being put in motion. After I'm gone, I'll be happy knowing he's trying again.

After stretching, he turned to me with a bored expression, "By the way, it's summer, Mackenzie. You're not fooling anyone with that turtleneck. I hope you used protection."

"We didn't even-" He was gone before I could finish.

I groaned to myself.

Griffin's a dead man.

-*-

"Hey, Mack-"

"Griffin, you're an ass, you know that?" I glared at him.

He frowned, "Pardon? What did I-"

I tugged on my collar, exposing my neck. The concealer hardly did anything to it. My only saving grace was the turtleneck, which was obvious. Griffin didn't show the slightest bit of remorse. In fact, he seemed to be amused. My eyes narrowed even more at the sight of his small grin.

"Nothing's funny, Griffin! Do you know how hard it is to hide this?! If my dad sees it, I can't promise you'll be standing tomorrow," I pulled my collar back up and crossed my arms. "You're insufferable!"

"Yet you came to meet me," He shot back.

"Yeah, so I can yell at you! I'll be leaving now," I began marching away.

Aw, look! He's begging on his knees!

Really?

I spun around to see the show but was instantly disappointed. Griffin wasn't begging. He was standing there with a smug look on his face. I had just given him what he wanted. I mentally cursed that stupid voice in my head. Still, I refused to approach him. He'd have to come to me.

He sighed and finally gave in. He came up to me, hands settling on my hips. It would be a lie to say my heartbeat didn't pick up. I pretended he had no effect on me and crossed my arms over my chest once again. He pulled me a bit closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I had no idea where we were in our relationship, but I wasn't complaining. It was Griffin. Being friends was enough for me. Everything after was just a bonus. I was just confused as to where this Griffin came from. When it came to any kind of affection that's too friendly, he's always hesitant. However, he had no problem with our current situation.

"For what it's worth, I apologize," He offered.

"Anyone can apologize. Are you sorry?"

He bit his lip, "I can't say that I am."

I tried pushing him away, but he held on tighter. I turned to him, trying my best to hide my smile. His eyes flickered down to my lips before returning back to my eyes. His eyes darkened ever so slightly. I rolled my eyes at him.

"My eyes are up here, bud."

"Is that so?" He smirked.

"Last time I checked," I shrugged.

Without another word, he leaned in and kissed me. It didn't last long, but I still felt the world around me spin and my toes curl. He tasted like peppermint and I savored the taste. I knew moments like these were sacred and meaningful, so I was determined to remember every detail. When he pulled back, I bit my lip, smiling.

"I just had to confirm that statement," He grinned.

"Oh, whatever," I smiled, finally pushing him away. "Now, why did you invite me here? I was perfectly fine freaking out and trying to figure out ways to hide this target on my neck at home."

He gestured to something behind me. I whirled around and saw the small yellow blanket on the ground. There was a basket sitting on top of it, a bottle peeking out. I felt a smile spread across my face like a wildfire. It was a picnic. He invited me out to a picnic.

A date? With you? Wow. He has pretty low standards.

I ignored her, continuing to gush over the small gesture. Griffin's hand found its way to the small of my back, nudging me forward. I gladly listened, parading over to the picnic. I took a seat, crossing my legs. I hadn't had time to eat this morning, so I was definitely ready to stuff my face. Griffin sat across from me and smiled.

"What are we eating first?" I asked, mouth already watering.

"Slow down," He took a notebook from his basket. "I have something for you."

He handed me the notebook. I instantly recognized it. It was my old math notebook he took. Remembering why he took it, I flipped through the pages until I found the picture he drew of me. I felt the air leave my lungs. It was beyond beautiful. I almost cried just staring at it. I cleared my throat, taking a deep breath.

"It's beautiful, Griff," I smiled at him. "Actually, it's more than that. It's like the feeling you get on a Sunday when you're listening to music and everything is at peace for a few moments. Or when your ship gets together after so long of waiting. Or when you get the last slice of pizza-"

"Mackenzie, I get it," He chuckled. "I found it under my ukulele yesterday and I-"

"You play the ukulele?!" I gasped. "Why am I just finding out about this now?!"

He cheeks turned slightly red, "I don't play it much anymore."

I furrowed my eyebrows, I opened my mouth to ask why, but my stomach growled, cutting me off. I frowned, realizing just how hungry I was. He smiled and began pulling food out of the basket. The first thing I saw was a case of strawberries. I quickly plucked it from his hands. As he retrieved the rest of the food, I snacked on the berries. We began eating and talking amongst ourselves. I happily munched on the foods he brought as they were delicious. He even brought a traditional Italian food, which was the best food in the basket.

Once I was full, I was lying on the blanket, ready to pass out. Griffin picked up the empty containers and sat over me. I shut my eyes and absorbed the sun. I was happy. At that moment, everything was perfect. Even the uncertainty of Griffin and I's relationship didn't bother me. Not even my impending death could bother me. In fact, it was the reason I was so happy.

If I wasn't dying, Griffin and I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met him, and he wouldn't have become the person he is. I would probably still be with Micah and going to college to become someone I'm not. College wasn't for me. Even if I went, I wouldn't have been happy. The fact that I didn't go was a relief.

"Mackenzie?"

"Hm?"

"I like you. A lot, actually," He spoke quietly.

I smiled without opening my eyes, "I like you too, Griff."

"It's been so long, and I've felt like this for a while now. Probably since the carnival," He seemed to be rambling, but I didn't have a problem with it. "I wasn't sure, but the day you were crying in the bathroom, I knew what I felt wasn't normal for a Reaper."

I opened my eyes and sat up, "For a Reaper?"

"Reapers get a feeling when something's wrong with their client. It's how we're created. That day, I realized it was different for me. I didn't just feel a disturbance, I felt your pain. I felt your fear and it turned into my own. That's not how we're created."

My face heated up, "I... I, uh-"

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. There's no humanly way possible for you to experience that, but-"

"No, I know what you mean. I do feel the same way. Well, not physically, but I do," I assured him. "It's just... I thought for so long that being okay with things meant I was happy, but now I know I wasn't. Not even a bit."

Griffin stood up, offering his hand, "We're getting a bit cheesy here."

I accepted his hand, agreeing. After he sent the picnic back to his home, we walked around for a while. Before I knew it, I was leaning on him. My eyes were heavy. Suddenly, I was extremely exhausted. However, I kept trudging on, not wanting this to end. There weren't going to be many moments like this after today.

It's September 1st.

There wasn't much time left for me. My death was still uncertain, but I knew there wasn't much chance of me being sick. I was glad. I didn't want to deteriorate slowly. The problem was that illness still leaves a lot of options open.

It's called 'uncertain' for a reason, idiot.

After a while of walking, we made it near the bridge. I felt too tired to go on, so Griffin agreed it was time to call it a day. I took one last glance at the bridge and felt my heart drop. There was a girl standing on the railing. I untangled myself from Griffin and bolted towards her.

"Griffin! We've gotta help her!" I yelled behind me.

"Mackenzie, we can't!"

I ignored him and kept going towards her. Once I got close enough, I called out to her. She turned to me for a brief second before shaking her head. She only inched closer to the edge.

I watched in horror as the girl let herself fall. I couldn't just let her die. Despite what Griffin said, I had to save her. He wasn't worried, but I was. I launched myself off the bridge after her.

"Dammit, Mackenzie!" Griffin swore out loud.

I felt the impact of the water crash against my skin. It was painful, but I couldn't focus on anything but her. I felt arms wrap around me and I knew Griffin would pull me out soon. I searched for her but couldn't find her. That is, not until it was too late.

"No!" I screeched, splashing around trying to save her.

"Mackenzie! Mackenzie! She's gone now!" Griffin shouted.

"No!" I was in tears.

Once we reached the land, I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. I was both angry and guilty. I shouldn't have relied on Griffin to save her. He should've saved her, but he didn't. She was dead, and I watched it all happen. I could've saved her

"We could've saved her!" I cried.

"No, we couldn't. Look over there," He pointed across the river at a woman. "That's her Reaper. Suicide is unpredictable and isn't something Reapers can track. All we can track are the attempts and if they're going end with death. After all, anyone can have suicidal thoughts. The best we can do is send help in some way-"

"Griffin, you could've jumped in and saved her!" I screamed. "I could've saved her."

"Then you would've been dead! My job is to protect you, not her. I'm not a hero, Mackenzie. Besides that, once she jumped, her Reaper was assigned, and her fate is sealed. Nothing I could've done would've saved her. I'm sorry you had to witness this-"

I tuned him out after that. All I could think about is the look on her face before she fell. It was void of hope. Griffin was right, I knew that. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, he couldn't have saved her. I couldn't either. We would've both died, and it would be for nothing. Not only that, Griffin would be crushed. Just the thought of how much death and loss Reapers had to face had my head spinning.

"Mackenzie-"

"I'm... going home," I sighed in defeat, wiping away my tears. "Don't wait up."

"Mackenzie," His voice was quiet. "I'm sorry."

I offered him a smile, though it was weak, "It's not your fault. I'll... see you later."

55 days.

//

Sorry this is so late! I have soccer tryouts this week (today was day 1). Wish me luck because I have to run a mile tomorrow! Anywho, thanks for reading! I hope your enjoyed this and I love you all so much!

Tatty bye <3