Chapter XCVII

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"I shall stand here if you are going to ask me to leave because you said yes to him."

"I did not say yes to Sir Holloway, I only thanked him for all he did for me."

"So you did not accept his marriage proposal?"

"I presume Mrs. Hall told you this?"

"She wants what is best for you."

"And what does she think is best for me?"

"Well I was very kindly told by Mrs. Hall it was better I forgot you since your suitor was better qualified than me in title of husband."

"Mrs. Hall doesn't own a dishonest bone in her body does she?"

"Apparently none, no sense of loyalty that one."

"So why are you here? If she said that then..."

"I just had a good reason to come."

"What reason?"

"That I have great reasons why we should never part, in fact more than I can count by myself."

"This is the part where you share them."

"First I love you, second you love me, somehow someway that miracle happened."

"Um hm..."

"Third my entire life can be summed up to you entering my life, fourth the best moments I have lived are because of you, fifth..."

"Enough, be quiet sir," I took his hands off me and turned to regain my posture knowing I was getting off the right track.

"Alice..."

"No, let me talk please this is important," I looked him in the eye, this was the moment of truth, the moment I would know what to do.

"What?"

"I heard your fight with Cynthia before dinner the day I left Stanley Hall."

"So that is the real reason you left early."

"Yes so I must ask you this, did you come running into my arms at the beach because Cynthia betrayed you?"

"What?"

"Was her betrayal the only reason..."

"Wait what? No! No, that is not!" Mr. Howard was completely defensive about the question and I waited for the fight to break out once more.

"Sir I..."

"Alice look at me," his hands held the side of my shoulders to keep me still and I lifted my eyes at him. "I have not been fair to you, I know that, but that night we spent in your chambers together I was still engaged and yet I could not restrain myself from being near you, as if your presence was the life I needed in order to keep breathing, I knew then that even if I was to marry Cynthia were you ever to need or want me I would not hesitate to be your captive forever."

"So would you have broken off your engagement with Cynthia if you had not found her with Henry?"

"I... I think that night provided me with everything I needed, I needed your engagement to be over and mine as well but if you had remained engaged I am not sure if I would have ended it if nothing had come between Cynthia and me."

"So no."

"No."

"Alright then you should know that your ex-fiancée helped Lydia try to kill me."

"She what!"

"I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but..."

"How could you not tell me this!"

"I told Mrs. Hall and Edna knew it, the authorities did too, if they chose to ignore her involvement then..."

"Alice!" He said and tears streamed down his face.

"Sir I kept it because I did not want to see this, I did not want to see you break over her involvement in all this, I did not want to know the depth of your feelings for her and..."

"You are so silly! The silliest of them all," Mr. Howard smiled through tears touching my face. "How could you put yourself in danger to come to that dinner? Wasn't almost dying once enough for you to stay away?"

"I..." I shook my head crying too, "you make it impossible for me but you know I must mourn."

"For a year I suppose."

"Yes."

"I will wait."

"And I... will travel abroad with Edna."

"Travel where?"

"To France first."

"Alice you are going to seek a longer distance than the one we have at such a moment?"

"Yes I am selling the Stewart manor, and once I go abroad I will not be in mourning, I am done mourning, as soon as I leave England I will only have color in my life, I cannot stand all of this woe and sorrow around me."

"And what about your brother?"

"He will keep this place in my absence and continue to further his studies."

"So I won't see you for a year?"

"I have been entangled in so many troubles, so much death, and chaos all having to do with other men that I cannot bear to tie myself again before I have even caught one breath on my own. The youthful rush which I felt to tie myself to you is no longer there so my aunt, Edna and I need to leave this gray cloud behind us for the year."

"I... I... I have waited on you for four years and you are telling me that I have to let you go?"

"I cannot marry you for a year and during that time I do not wish to be stuck here, this place has turned into a burden for me."

"But..."

"Please sir I love you, I do..."

"France?"

"Yes."

"This will make you happy?"

"Very much so," I touched his face, "come with me if it'll help."

"Go with you?"

"Yes."

"Alice?" My brother Daniel walked in unannounced as Mr. Howard and I separated at once.

"Brother hi."

"Good morning Earl," he stood tall looking in shock of the intimacy he caught me.

"Good morning Sir Daniel."

"I was telling the earl about my year abroad."

"Oh yes I envy you, I have yet to see the outside of classroom yet but it's what mother would have wanted."

"Yes it is, and when you are on break you should meet us abroad brother."

"Prepare my room, I will not pass the chance up, by the way I am moving my stuff in since you will be away, I will ask Mrs. Trudor where my room is to be."

"Of course Daniel."

"Excuse me Earl," he bowed and exited the room.

"Do you think he noticed anything?" I asked Mr. Howard.

"Yes, I better ask him and your aunt for your hand soon or they will dub me as a cheap conquistador."

"They will not."

"They will so when may I ask for this hand?"

"Probably best to wait at least until halfway through the mourning to announce it."

"Six months?"

"Yes."

"But what do I do with this?" Mr. Howard took out a ring from inside his pocket.

"I... Where did this come from?"

"My mother's ring."

"But... This says Mrs. Hall inside it," I inspected the ring.

"On my father's deathbed I found out she was my mother."

"Mrs. Hall is your! I..."

"I know but she forbade me from ever telling anyone, insisted she was to remain as the staff in the house for the sake of my legibility and her reputation, she did not want to break out a scandal."

"She makes perfect sense," I put the ring on.

"Yes perfect," he noticed the ring fit, "so will you let me prove to you, the luckiest day of your life was when you rejected Sir Holloway and chose me?"

"As long as you remember that the luckiest day of your life was when I said yes to you," I whispered in his ear and looking over to the door I quickly pulled him down to my height for a kiss before anyone interrupted our alone time.

Daniel moved back in to the family house in London while Edna, my aunt and I packed our bags for France and decided to use other names as so not bump into anyone we knew who might question my not so sorrowful mourning although I felt mother was proud of me for not wasting any more time in black. I had cut all ties with death; I was no longer its puppet to do as it pleased, I would never submit to its power again simply because after everything I chose it so, the freedom of my choices was as if God smiled upon my life every day thereafter.

September of 1891.


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Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.


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